If I Had Only Known

Disclaimer: I don't own the Dukes of Hazzard, not making any money, just cheap thrills.


Warnings: Slash, Angst


Rating: FRT


*indicates thoughts


If I Had Only Known
Chapter 4


"What was that about Luke?" Bo demanded.


"What are you talking about Bo?"


"You know dang good and well what I'm talking about! The way you were questioning David, ya sounded like ya was talking to a suspect in a crime."


"I was just making conversation cousin, I can't help it if you or your friend took it the wrong way."


"I may not be as smart as you Luke, but I'm not stupid. I know you cousin and I know when you're being suspicious and when you're just making conversation." Bo angrily pointed out. "I'm giving you fair warning Luke, ya better back off or I'll make ya regret it."


"Alright boys that's enough," Jesse interrupted before a fight could start. "Bo's right Luke, you were being rude," he firmly said. "That doesn't give you the right to threaten your cousin," turning to Bo, he gave him a stern look.


"Sorry Uncle Jesse...sorry Luke," Bo quietly apologized.


"Yeah me too, I was just looking out for you Bo," Luke offered.


"I figured that Luke, but you got to remember I'm a grown man and I can look out for myself."


"I'll try to remember that, might be easier if ya didn't act like a big kid half the time," he teased. "Wait a minute that ain't right, it's more like most of the time."


"Cute. Ain't it past your bed time...old man," Bo smirked.


"Old? You're calling me old?"


"Hearing giving ya trouble, or is it your memory, I hear both can be a problem when ya get old."


"I'll show ya old," Luke snarled in mock anger, advancing on his cousin.


"I'd like to let ya...but I got chores to get to," coming up with the first excuse he could, Bo took off running.


"Wonder how far he'll get before he realizes I ain't behind him?" Luke smirked, grinning at his uncle and cousin.


"I figure about the time he hits the creek he'll notice," Jesse replied.


"Ya know Luke...if I were you, I'd sleep with one eye open tonight," Daisy warned.


"Ya would?"


"Yep...Bo can pretty sneaky when he wants revenge," she pointed out.


"I ain't worried," Luke scoffed, all the while planning an alarm to warn him if Bo got near his bed.


"Okay...it's your neck, not mine."


"Think I'll go to the Boar's Nest for a while," Luke mumbled, making his escape.


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"I ain't never gonna get this," Bo growled, throwing down his pencil in disgust.


"You're doing fine Bo," David soothed, standing behind him and massaging his shoulders. "I know this is harder than mountains, but you want to learn how to do more than just one thing, don't you?"


"Yeah, but that don't look anything like the wolf in the picture," came the frustrated reply.


"You're trying too hard, relax," David instructed, continuing to rub tense muscles. "Look I have an idea, would you be willing to try something?"


"What's the idea?"


"I want you to forget about the picture for a minute, good, here you might need this," he said, handing him the pencil.


"Thanks," Bo mumbled sheepishly, accepting the pencil.


"Now place the sketchpad in your lap and put the pencil on the paper," he waited for Bo to do as he said. "Take a deep breath, relax, now close your eyes and picture a wolf; a large silver-gray wolf, he's standing in a clearing, his head looking up at the moon. Can you see him? See how beautiful he is, the moonlight shining down on him, his muscles rippling beneath his fur...see him?" David quietly asked.


"Yeah," Bo whispered, his voice filled with awe at what he was seeing.


"Okay, I want you to hold that picture in your mind. Then when you're ready, open your eyes and quickly draw what you saw, without stopping to think about it."


For several minutes, Bo sat there, his eyes closed, breathing deeply as he pictured the wolf David had described. Suddenly his eyes popped open and he began to sketch on the pad in front of him, almost as if he were unaware of his actions. "Wow....I can't believe it," he breathed out as he stared at what was in front of him.


"That's very good Bo," David complimented over his shoulder, startling the younger man. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."


"It's okay, just forgot you were there," looking up at him, Bo quickly accepted the apology. "I can't believe how much better this one is...guess you were right."


"Well I am the professional artist," David teased, ruffling Bo's hair.


Bo looked back down at his sketchpad, hoping David wouldn't notice the blush he could feel spreading across his face. *What is wrong with me? I ain't never reacted to a man like this before?* he questioned himself, trying to figure it out. Bo had always been a ladies man, oh he'd noticed attractive men before, but never like this. He felt like he was walking on air whenever he was in David's presence, wanted to touch him, wanted to be touched by him and it scared him!


"Bo, you okay?"


"Huh? Yeah, just thinking, guess I'm not used to it," he joked.


"Why do you do that?"


"Do what?"


"Put yourself down," David answered. "You shouldn't do that Bo, you've got a lot going for you," he admonished him.


"It's just a joke buddy, besides ask anybody in Hazzard, Luke's the smart one."


"You're plenty smart," David defended, hating to hear Bo talking about himself like that. *Be careful David, you're starting to sound like a man in love.*


"Thanks," Bo said, deciding he should change the subject. "So when do I start learning to paint?"


"Tomorrow," came the surprising reply.


"That soon?" Bo asked, obviously nervous.


"Don't worry Bo, I don't expect you to paint like DaVinci your first day, we'll save that for the second day." Just as David had hoped, Bo laughed at the joke, his eyes sparking with joy. Barely resisting the urge to lean down and kiss the younger man, David backed away from the blond.


"It's getting kind of late, guess I better get going," Bo excused himself. "See you tomorrow?" he quietly asked, wondering if David had noticed his attraction and would tell him to never come back.


"Can't wait...maybe you can stay for supper tomorrow night. I make a mean steak," he tempted.


"Sure," Bo accepted, praying he wouldn't say or do anything stupid the next day. "I better get going," he reluctantly said, taking his supplies into the house.


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"Duke farm, Luke speaking."


"Luke, sorry it took so long to get back to you," Coop apologized.


"I was beginning to think you'd forgotten," Luke said. "What'd ya find out?"


"Well that's what took so long, when I found out who Bo's friend is, I wanted to be make sure I had the right David Sorenson."


"The right..." pausing, Luke took a breath, bracing himself. "How bad is it?" he asked, wondering if Bo would listen to him.


"Not bad at all...well mostly not anyway. Okay...David Sorenson is thirty-four years old, born and raised in Conyers. He left home when he was eighteen, making his way to New York City with dreams of being an artist. It didn't take long for him to be discovered and from there his carreer as an artist took off, he's worth millions today. Recently he announced he was taking a sabbatical and left New York."


"So he's not involved with anything illegal?"


"No...nothing like that Luke...there is one thing that may or may not be a problem."


"What?" Luke asked, his worry level rising again.


"He's...well Luke, he doesn't like women..."


"Doesn't like...he's gay?" Luke asked in a shocked voice.


"Yeah," Coop confirmed.


"Anything else?"


"No, that's it."


"Thanks Coop, I owe ya one," Luke said.


"No problem, I have to go now though, take care of yourself buddy. Bye," Coop said, ending the call.


"Yeah, you too. Bye," Luke replied, hanging up the phone. Going outside, he went looking for his uncle, hoping the older man would know what to do. "Uncle Jesse, can I talk to you about something?"


"What's the problem?" Jesse asked, looking up from where he was treating a sore hoof on Maudine.


"I called Coop the other day, asked him to check into David for me."


Sighing heavily, Jesse looked at his nephew, "How bad?"


"He's an artist, like he said, apparently a pretty successful one. The only thing Coop found out that worries me is...he's gay Uncle Jesse."


"Well why would that worry you?"


"Shouldn't I tell Bo? I mean, what if the guy tries something?"


"If you tell Bo, then you'll have to tell him you were snooping into his friend's life," Jesse pointed out. "How do you think he'll take that?"


"Not good," Luke replied, wincing as he imagined Bo's reaction. "But what if he..."


"Then I'm sure your cousin will tell him no and that'll be the end of it."


"He's a pretty big guy Uncle Jesse, what if he tries to force Bo to..." he broke off, unable to complete the question.


"He's also an artist and your cousin is used to working with his hands, and can hold his own in a fight. I don't think we've got anything to worry about, I admit I ain't real crazy about folks like that, but it ain't my place to say anything. I think it's best we just keep an eye out and be here if your cousin needs to talk," Jesse advised.


"I guess you're right," Luke reluctantly admitted. "Think I'll go chop some wood," he mumbled, leaving the barn.


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Bo woke with a start, the images from the dream so vivid that it took him a moment to realize it had been a dream. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was only an hour until time to get up anyway. Knowing he wouldn't be able to sleep, he quietly gathered his clothes, going into the bathroom to get changed. After a quick shave, he headed outside, planning to get an early start on the day. As he worked, he couldn't seem to get the dream from his mind, the image of David's angry face tormenting him. *Please lord, don't let me do anything stupid today. I don't know why I'm feeling like this, but I don't want to lose his friendship. Help me lord, show me the way. Amen* he silently prayed.


Shortly after lunch, Bo pulled into David's driveway, feeling like a kid on his first date. Giving himself a mental shake, he climbed out of the General and headed to the other side of the house. "Hey David," he greeted as he came around the corner.


"Hey Bo," David replied, looking away from the mountain. "You ready to start painting?"


"Chores first, remember?"


"Not today," David corrected. "I don't want you to have time to get nervous, or more nervous I should say," he explained.


"Hadn't thought of that," Bo quietly accepted the explanation.


Two hours later and Bo was no longer nervous. He was frustrated beyond belief, as he tried to bring the colors he could see in his mind to the canvas.


"Calm down Bo...you're doing fine," David soothed, leaning down to whisper in his ear.


"How do you do it?"


"Do what?"


"Get the colors in your head onto the canvas. I see it, the moonlight hitting the wolf, the different shades of his fur, the way they blend into each other. But I can't get the colors onto the canvas...no matter how hard I try...I just can't find them."


"We've talked about this before Bo...it's art, not a math test. There is no right or wrong, you have to relax and let it happen."


"Relax," Bo repeated, turning his head, he was surprised to find David's face so close to his. In a moment that took only seconds while stretching into eternity, Bo closed the distance, pressing his lips to the older man's. Jerking back, he stared at David with a mixture of longing and fear. "Oh god, I'm sorry," he cried out, jumping to his feet and backing away.


"Bo wait," David called, hurrying after him as he turned and headed to the General. Catching up to him, he grabbed his arm, turning him around. "It's alright Bo," he assured him.


"How can you say that? I kissed you...I had no right to do that," Bo pointed out unnecessairly.


"Yeah I noticed, and I kissed you back," David softly said.


"You...did," he whispered as he realized it was true. "Why?"


"Why did I kiss you back?"


"Yeah."


"Because I've been wanting to kiss you since the moment I laid eyes on ya," David replied.


"You have? You're gay?" he asked surprised.


"Yes to both questions, and before you ask, I've known since I was fifteen."


"I still don't understand this, I ain't never been attracted to a man before."


Reaching a hand out, David caressed the younger man's face, "Was it that bad?"


"It was wonderful," Bo whispered, "but I'm not gay."


"Bo how do you feel...about me, about this?"


"I think...I feel like I'm falling in love," Bo quietly admitted.


"Glad to hear that, I know I've fallen in love," David said, his voice soft. "Bo...could I kiss you?"


"I was hoping you'd say that," Bo replied, leaning forward and letting his lips brush David's. As the kiss deepened, he instintively wrapped his arms around the older man, pulling him closer.


Reluctantly, David broke the kiss, drawing back only far enough to see Bo's face. "We'll take this as slow as you need," he quietly said. "I want you to be sure, don't ever want you to feel pressured in anyway."


"Okay," Bo agreed. Chuckling softly, he pulled David against him again.


"What's so funny?"


"Just realized, I've been worried for nothing," Bo explained.


"Worried?"


"Yeah, ever since I walked you out to your truck the other night. That was the first time I wanted to run my hand along your cheek," he whispered, drawing back and caressing David's face. "I didn't though, figured you'd get mad if I tried. Since then it's been torture to be around you...kept wanting to wrap my arms around you, to kiss you and the dreams. I've been having nightmares the last couple of days," he said, shuddering slightly.


"Tell me?" David asked.


"They don't really matter now, I'd tell you how I felt, kiss you and you'd get mad, disgusted, tell me to leave. I just thought it was funny when I realized that I'd been worrying and we were both wanting the same thing."


"Well if it makes you feel any better, I've been worrying too. I was sure if you ever found out, you'd hit me at least," David said, tightening his hold on the younger man.


"Enough talking, more kissing," Bo whispered, tilting his head and pulling David down to meet him, claiming his lover's lips in a soul-searing kiss.


TBC


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