Losing One's Self

Please read and review. Elfchic

Disclaimer: Jeni Harbridge, most of this plot line and other characters that are unknown to Stargate SG1 are figments of my imagination, everything else belongs to the creators of Stargate SG1.

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Unresolved Tension, at least for now

I have to admit, I was really proud at how Cameron held himself as the Jaffa and as a new commanding officer. However, I noticed that there had been a lot of tension in the Jaffa, almost like something happened. I was unsure if I should tell Cameron my observations, so I hung out at the back. If it was Jack, I knew I would have told him straight away, but Cameron was a new guy, I wasn’t sure of his reactions yet. I moved over to Sam.

“Something has happened here,” I spoke softly to her so not to disturb Cameron.

“Are you sure? You could be looking for things after what happened to your planet,” she replied looking at me.

I gave her a flat look.

“Ask Teal’C, he’ll agree that the Jaffa are tense,” I replied tersely.

“What is going on?” Cameron asked as he walked over.

“Jeni thinks that the Jaffa are tense about something,” Sam replied.

“Oh?” he raised an eye brow in my direction.

“Don’t look at me like that, Cameron,” I was feeling a bit defensive, “if you notice, the Jaffa are edgy about something. And I think that something has to do with what is slowing down the alliance. They have their mind on something else.”

“Jeni has made a correct assumption,” Teal'c’s assessing voice floated over them.

“See? I told you I wasn’t seeing things!” I crossed my arms and pouted.

“You look like such a child,” I glared, “But a cute one,” Cameron amended.

I had to snort and smile at Cameron. I think that man is afraid of a woman’s temper. I decide to wander, Cameron following me. I really didn’t like these rules that were floating around. I love the forest areas around the Jaffa towns. Noticing Cameron moving up to my side, I slow my pace. I like this, walking with Cameron. I imagine that we are a couple back on my old planet, walking through the lush tropical foliage. I smile wistfully.

“Penny for your thoughts,” Cameron says suddenly.

“Oh, just thinking about my old planet. When couples begin to step out, courting one another, they’d walk in the tropical foliage, stealing kisses, holding hands, etc. I miss it, being on my planet,” I say, blushing.

“Stealing kisses, huh?” he repeated, “like this?”

He pushes me behind a tree and kisses me. It is slow, gentle, coaxing. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kiss him back. His kiss is intoxicating; I can’t seem to get enough of it. I feel his hand creep underneath my shirts to the skin beneath. I gasp at the touch and allow his hands to wander a little. The kiss is turning from gentle to passionate, I can’t seem to break it, knowing that this shouldn’t happen, but it feels so good. How can something this good be wrong? I know I don’t have the answers, but I still ask the question. A twig snaps and we break apart. Breathing heavily, we look at one another.

“Pretty much,” I say.

“Huh?” came the reply.

“You asked me if they stole kisses like that, I said pretty much,” I answered.

He nods and begins to tuck my shirt in.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you since we met,” he said in my ear.

My legs almost turn to jelly. That kiss was mind-blowing and his words weren’t helping.

“Likewise,” was my breathless reply.

He smiled and kissed my cheek.

“your hair is mussed,” he said sheepish.

I pulled it out and was pulled into another kiss. I was shocked at first but melted into it. That boy really can kiss! His hands were fisted into my hair, holding me at an angle as to better his assault on my senses. We break again, dragging air into our lungs.

“Sorry, saw your hair out and couldn’t resist,” he smiled.

I laughed and began to brush my fingers though my hair to get out any leaves. Deftly, I twisted my hair up into a flawless knot and tied it together. Cameron was watching my actions with his arms folded, eyes smouldering and a smug grin. I threw him an amused glance and brushed my clothes down.

“You’re a little mussed, yourself, Mister Mitchell,” I said as I moved over to him.

I fix his collar and patted his cheek with a grin. Moving off, I heard him follow. Five minutes later, we came back to the town and met up with Sam and Teal’c. I couldn’t see Daniel anywhere. I noticed a procession coming up and felt my happy mood disappear with a cold wind.

“Ori,” I breathed fearfully.

Cameron looked at me and grabbed my hand then gave it a squeeze. I looked at him with fearful eyes and grasped his hand when he made a move to turn away.

“The Ori destroyed my planet,” I whispered to him.

He nodded and kept holding my hand. I needed the support. I was cold and shaky. I looked at him, wanting to be very far away. He stared at me then made the motion to go to the Stargate. We moved off and met up with Daniel. He was talking to one of the leaders. I felt so ashamed as Cameron made our excuses and we left the planet.

Jack was there, waiting for me. As soon as I saw him, I ran into his arms and didn’t let go for a long time. I knew he didn’t understand my feelings, but I was thankful that he allowed me to get comfort. I vaguely heard the rest of the team giving their reports as I was held. I felt the tears come and I couldn’t stop it.

“Oh, little jenny,” Jack comforted, “cry, let it out.”

He rubbed circles on my back, soothing me as I finished my little cry. I break away and give him a watery smile. It was small, but still a smile. I saw his pride in my giving him a smile.

“Thanks, needed to know that I wasn’t alone,” I sigh, “better go get cleared.”

He nodded and I moved away. Cameron was waiting for me at the door. He looked at me and nodded. He could see that I was a bit better. I felt bad, making them leave when we were so close to an alliance. He rested his hand on my shoulder and sat with me at the infirmary.

“We still need to deal with that tension with the Jaffa,” I say quietly.

He nods at gives me a smile.

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Well, well, not the tension you thought? Ah well. What is going to happen? And Yay! They kissed!

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