First times, second chances

“Well now, isn’t this a sight?”

As the low drawl accompanies them up the ramp into Serenity, Simon feels heat surface on his cheeks; a hot blush which only intensifies and travels down his neck as he glances up, catching the amused eyes of the Captain looking him up and down. Straightening himself as much as possible, he manages to meet Mal’s gaze with as much dignity as he can manage. He knew their arrival would attract attention; how often did you see three men on horseback racing towards a spaceship, one of whom couldn’t resist whooping "yeehaw!"as the cargo doors opened.

If it hadn’t been for the furious mob behind them, Simon would have insisted they found other transport, especially since his horse riding skills left a lot to be desired. Instead he’d been shoved onto the biggest horse and left clinging to Jayne as the three of them rode towards Serenity. Simon had felt himself slipping and sliding, and had been forced to clamp his legs as tight to the horse as possible. Unfortunately this put his near naked crotch against Jayne’s buttocks, also bumping and chafing— Simon had all but fallen off the horse at Serenity, buttocks and thighs sore and chafed.

My business, no one else’s, the doctor silently repeats the sentence as he keeps his eyes on Mal, refusing to hear the choked off laugh from Kaylee as she enters the cargo hold.

“We had a few problems in town, a small dispute that someone just couldn’t help antagonizing.” At the word someone, Simon’s eyes flick briefly to glare at Jayne, gaining another sputter of laughter from Kaylee.

The mercenary is oddly at ease with the situation despite looking ridiculous in Simon’s tight pants and nothing more then a gun strapped to him. Ridiculous and yet sexy— Simon shakes that thought immediately as Spike follows Jayne in, eyes flicking over first them then towards the crew. Simon has to admit he is surprised Jayne didn’t try losing the man whilst riding; he’d half expected that was why Jayne had pushed him onto his horse.

“Now ain't this even more interesting.”

Mal’s eyes are on Spike now and he doesn’t look happy about having anyone else on board the ship. As Spike moves towards Simon, Mal steps in between them his eyes flickering over the blond man.

“Could say that.” When he speaks, there’s an odd light in Spike’s eyes that fits perfectly with the twisted smile on his face. The intensity of his gaze is almost chilling and Simon can see his body is oddly tense, as if Spike’s having to mentally restrain himself from leaping at Mal. Simon’s impressed that Mal’s face remains so neutral, no sign of fear or annoyance registering on his features at all. Not that Spike would be able to tell anyway, Mal always is admirably able at keeping his emotions from showing, though Simon can see the captain’s hand twitching ever so close to his gun.

Simon isn’t sure where the sudden hostile tension has come from, or why Spike is now circling Mal. Simon has the sudden protective urge to stand between Spike and Mal, but as he takes a step forward the brief tension is broken.

“Sorry mate, thought you were someone else.”

Spike’s eyes are still fixed on Mal but they are thoughtful now, not feral. “Thought he couldn't stand bints." He moves closer to Mal and sniffs him, "Maybe he just couldn't get any," looking Mal up and down, Spike adds, "Many. Or else the Powers seem to think even he deserves a second chance.”

“Huh? Wha-?” Mal bites off his own reply and settles for switching eye contact between Jayne and Simon, “Will someone tell me that the kao is going on here?”

“We’re gettin’ off this rock before we’re well and truly humped.” Jayne answers for them as he slams his hand down on the button to shut the cargo doors. “These folks ain’t happy with me, nor the doc and his biao.”

“Really.” Mal’s reply is sarcastic though his expression is innocent as he surveys Jayne, “And why am I not surprised at that. Should count yourself lucky you actually brought Simon back in one piece, even if you did pick up a stray along the way.”

Jayne’s mouth drops open and Simon swallows the laugh he can feel coming, though not quickly enough as a soft noise escapes drawing Mal’s attention to him.

“An’ you, not looking so much like your fancy self but like a misbehaved brat.”

Simon feels the blush return as Mal surveys his lack of clothing, and pulls Spike’s duster a little tighter around his body.

“I’ve just about had it with the pair of you. Actin’ like a couple of brats when you know this is the first job we had come our way in a long while-lucky I got the damn thing already or you’d both be in serious danger of getting up close and personal with the black.” Mal pushes the button on the communication panel beside him, “Take us away from here Zoe, b'fore this gets messy.”

“Already got things ready Captain.” Zoe’s reply is brisk, as are her actions; only seconds later Simon feels the floor vibrate gently as Serenity’s engines kick in and she rises away from the planet.

“Jayne, get yourself decent an’ sort this place out. Got some fancy cargo an’ we don’t want the owners needin’ an excuse to rag on the deal.” For once Jayne doesn’t argue, instead his eyes flick briefly from Mal to Simon.

Spike moves closer and places one hand on Simon’s hip, a challenging expression in his eyes which Simon doesn’t notice. Jayne’s expression turns ugly, his lips twisting in bitterness as he storms out of the room, curses dropping from his lips at every step.

“Well I’m mighty glad you ain’t tryin’ my patience no more.” Mal’s voice is firm and Simon’s looks up at him, startled by the comment. “You got an infirmary to deal with but first your going to explain what crossed your mind with thinkin’ you’d bring a stray aboard my boat? You have your uses and your sister can be damn amusing at times, but-“

“Not his fault, mate. Your green eyed monster out there?” Spike gestures with his head, “Put me in the middle and I couldn’t leave the boy.”

“Well now maybe chivalry’s not dead after all.” Mal looks amused for a moment but then his expression becomes serious, his mind focused on one thing-payment. Though Simon hates that Spike has helped them and yet has to pay, it is Mal’s ship and she is in need of repairs or they‘ll all end up adrift in space- much as Kaylee loves to tell them with a horrifyingly cheerful attitude.

Spike rolls his eyes, only a slightly though and his expression never wavers from its smirk, “No worries, prefer cash or credit?”

“Credit?” Mal looks confused for a moment, before his eyes sharpen to reassess Spike.

Everyday non-core or Alliance types tended to opt for the anonymity of cash, only those with wealthy backgrounds or profitable businesses favored credit. Simon can see Mal musing over the prospect of having someone like Spike, seemingly connected, aboard even if he is as much of a mystery as the Shepherd. Simon misses the flicker of suspicion on Mal’s face as pulls the coat more firmly around his body, feeling naked and embarrassed at his undignified appearance.

“Cash or goods always sit best with me, most of us folks aren’t partial to things of a more personal nature,“ his eyes flick briefly to Simon for a moment, then back to Spike before he adds, “I’m sure a gentleman like yourself understands.”

Simon can detect the hint of humor in Mal’s voice as his eyes take in Spike’s clothes, the dark demin trousers and the blood spattered shirt which fit so snugly adding to the man’s sex appeal. He’s not expecting Mal’s next comment, his mouth dropping open at the crude implication.

“Got a fellow dignitary on board if you get my drift, our Ambassador should I say.” Mal’s smiles charming now, almost winning and whilst Spike seems to understand his hints and looks tickled by the suggestion-Simon isn’t. In fact he’s close to furious now.

Why Jayne insulted Spike as though he were a whore was obvious to Simon-jealousy, because he had paid attention to something Jayne had not and because Simon was now no longer playing Jayne’s ludicrously immature mind games. Why Mal chose to do the same was beyond Simon. He believed the Captain to be a fair man, an honorable one even if it was a twisted kind of honor at times, his quick judgment of Spike didn’t sit well with Simon. And the doctor had to admit, even though it was with a little shame, that the assumption that Simon had no choice but to pay for intimate company stung.

“I believe your judgment’s flawed Captain,” Simon’s voice is soft and he straightens a little as Mal’s eyes flick to him, surprise flaring briefly in them. “Spike is no more a whore then you or I; he was merely in the right place at the right time and got dragged into this comical mess with us." He paused, “And contrary to obviously popular belief, I am neither desperate enough nor useless enough to attract only with the offer of payment.”

“That ain’t what I meant, Simon.” Mal shakes his head his tone softening as he takes in Simon’s rigid form, the sudden tension in the doctor’s body and hurt that flashes in his eyes. But Simon’s unable to stop speaking now, the words rushing over his lips before his mind can process his thoughts and speak cautiously, calmly.

“Well it seems a popular preconception that you and Jayne share. Tell me do the others share it too? Kaylee,” His eyes flick to the woman standing off to one side, relaxing a little as she shakes her head in denial. “Zoe, Wash or maybe Inara? Slyness may not be a desirable trait to most of those in the Core but I can assure you I did get offered my fair share of bedfellows and never once engaged a Companion. Spike is very attractive-”

“Much obliged pet.” Spike’s grinning again, looking both innocent and devilish at the same time, earning the murmured agreement from Kaylee, "Shuai,"

“As for my choice in partners, I think it’s improved from my normal insane attractions don’t you think-”

Simon’s cut off mid rant as Spike slaps a hand on his shoulder, “Boy’s right.” Spike’s eyes are on Mal now though his mouth twitches into a bigger smile as Simon shoots him a disgruntled look at being called ‘boy.’ “Can’t say I’ve ever considered that line of work, not that much of a tart though I’m sure there are some who would disagree.”

Simon can’t help but feel relief rush though him as he realizes how close he came to voicing his lust for Jayne, even if it was only to look down on it. Though the crew suspect or even know in some cases, it isn’t something he wants brought into the open-the subject of gossip and speculation. Especially when the volatile object of his affections is firmly denying the attraction between them.

Spike called him the ‘green eyed monster’; I would say that’s apt given his demeanour over the last twelve hours. He doesn’t want me, yet he doesn’t like it when another does. The man is confusing to say the least, uncouth and overbearing at times though strangely emotional at others- Simon shakes himself out of his own musings as Kaylee’s fingers lightly rest on his arm.

“You okay Simon?” Her voice is soft, a tinge of worry and unhappiness on it that is out of place and not to Simon’s liking. He cares for her greatly, though not in the way either of them had first hoped and doesn’t like to see her affected by all of this-by his problems.

“I’m fine.” He answers stiffly at first, as always unable to relax with others in the room. When alone with her, or even with River as added company he’s lost a few of his rigidities, not enough to worry himself that he is changing from who he was but enough to enjoy each the company and to be honest to each other.

Spike’s leafing through his pockets flashing money, haggling over a deal with Mal who looks not only pleased but relieved at being back on normal ground.

“No you’re not.” Kaylee’s not letting this go, determined to drag it out in the open then let it stew just as she had with confessing his growing desire for Jayne; just as he had with her own hidden devotion-their common devotion.

“Cap’s just being a pigu. Ain’t no way you can’t get none without payin’ for it an’ Jayne’s just steamin’ because you got yourself a fancy and tasty looking’ friend ‘stead of hankerin’ for him.”

The sincere words bring a soft smile to Simon’s face, “You always know the right words, unlike myself at times.”

Kaylee’s smile grows a little as a happy blush stains her cheeks.

“Right, we’ve come to an arrangement of sorts, an’ if Kaylee don’t mind,” Mal’s looking at Kaylee now, “You’ll be sortin’ out a bunk for him while Simon shows him the ship. This bay is off-bounds come tomorrow as are my crew's bunks an‘ I mean all of my crew's bunks-” Simon tears his eyes from Mal’s knowing gaze, looking down at the floor, his cheeks pink with embarrassment he misses Spike‘s nod, “Ain’t havin’ no ruckus aboard my boat.”

“Well now that’s settled, lets go about gettin’ you in.”

Simon looks up in time to catch Kaylee flashing a bright smile to Spike which appears to daze him a little. She’s more then just enthusiastic at the moment and Simon has to suppress a laugh as she acts as though to take the case from Spike but runs her hands over his arms getting in a quick feel whilst she can.

“Not exactly what I had in mind when I told you to have some fun Simon, best be hoping your fun don’t cause trouble here; if it does, you and me be having words-dong ma?” Mal’s words are dry but Simon can hear the warning in them, he holds the Captain’s gaze for a moment letting Mal search his face for the answer he thinks he needs. Trust me Mal, just this once.

Whether Mal read the unspoken plea or not, Simon isn’t sure but the taller man holds his gaze only for a moment more before turning and striding out of the hold.

****

“So you boys be ready for breakfast at seven?” Kaylee’s enthusiasm hasn’t wavered in the short time it’s taken to reach the infirmary, in fact its only grown.

“If I’m invited, Simon best be getting dressed first though, right mate?” Spike winks at Kaylee as he claps Simon on the back, turning the gesture into a one armed hug, “Wouldn’t want you turning any more heads and causing your pals grief."

“I think the image of myself dressed so inappropriately is something they would want, or should want stricken from their memories.” Amusement is obvious in Simon’s voice as he pulls open the doors and strides over to a cabinet, hands rummaging through it in search of cream for his chafed thighs.

“Oh I don’t know, some of us like looking.” Kaylee’s hands are folded over her chest as she beams at the both of them. “Simon’s all pretty an’ fancy and it ain’t bad to imagine if he’s got nothing on under that.” She laughs as Simon hugs the coat closer, his eyes wide as he turns to look at her. “Not my kind of pretty but some of us sure do like looking at him.”

“Kaylee!”

“I’m only funning with you Simon, don’t take it to heart,” Kaylee’s still smiling but it’s softer now as she notices the embarrassment stealing over Simon’s face. Turning to Spike, she adds, “Simon’s not one to think he’s anything more then average. He knows he’s got the smarts but he ain’t sure about bein’ shuai. He’s different…thinks nothing of charging in an’ saving someone even if it hurts himself, an’ he’s real good to River.”

Simon’s physically hot now, embarrassment having the full effect, keeping his head down he tries to ignore the compliments as he searches. Although he appreciates them, hearing Kaylee voice his praises makes him feel awkward, as though it is somewhat unseemly to listen and accept the compliments.

“No worries.” Spike’s nodding now, agreeing to the silent warnings that Simon just can’t see or hear-the warnings Kaylee, despite her welcoming Spike, is subtly dropping into the conversation.

“Shiny,” Kaylee’s beaming again, happy at the answer Spike’s given. “Well I best be going now, got to get your bunk sorted for you so’s you can get ready for dinner. I mean you don’t have to change or nothin’ just you might not be getting’ on the Cap’s best side if you come to dinner all bloodied.”

Simon pulls out the tube of ointment he’s located and as the doctor moves over to them he gently plucks at Spike’s shirt, “I should really check that out, I’d like to make sure you weren’t too damaged and see about preventing infection.”

Spike raises an eyebrow and sets the metal case he’s been possessively holding carefully down. Simon is almost tempted to ask what’s inside it but not only would it possibly annoy Spike, it would also show an appalling lack of manners.

“I heal fast and it was never more then a graze.” Spike’s trying to convince Simon there’s no need but the doctor stands firm even though he looks ludicrous with a leather jacket, bare feet and now nitrile gloves over his hands.

“On the table please.”

Simon’s hands are at Spike’s shirt as the man reluctantly climbs onto the table, they pause and his gaze swivels to meet the interested eyes of Kaylee. “Kaylee? Would you mind?”

His words are slightly aloof but his apologetic tone compensates and he’s pleased to see the blush that covers her face as she ducks out of the room.

“I promise I’ll be gentle.” Simon’s words are soft as he unbuttons the ruined shirt, his fingers less shaky then they were when taking it off for the first time. Even though Spike’s denied the blood is his, the man strikes Simon as one who would brush off pain with ease and declare even a bullet wound as just a cut. Simon’s prepared to see welts and gouges under the skin yet when he parts the shirt, the skin underneath is smooth and only marred by a vicious looking graze.

Simon doesn’t even notice the breath of relief escaping him, though Spike’s slight smile and the softening in his eyes shows that he has.

“Not so bad, see pet?”

“Thankfully.” Simon’s cleaning the graze now, taking care to be gentle although Spike's barely wincing. The graze is quite deep although scarcely bleeding which is a marvel to Simon and under normal circumstances would inflame his curiosity. But today has been a long day.

“I never did thank you for that, for helping Jayne and I.”

“No thanks needed, couldn’t say I’d have been happy staying there after that or leaving you in his care. Bloody great moron might be jonesing for you but that’s not to say I think he’d take the most care in the world. Strikes me as the type who’d run, dragging you after him and notice only later that he’s dragging a bloodied corpse.” Spike’s almost nonchalant in his reply but his eyes are on Simon as he speaks, a thoughtfulness in them that’s becoming more frequent.

“Jayne wouldn’t do that.” Simon winces, his fingers pausing in their ministrations, the bandage only half stuck down on the wound. “I’m sorry, that was rude of me and in all truth you could well be right, I don’t know why I bothered defending him.”

Spike shrugs, “He’s your pal, and there’s a good possibility I’m wrong about him.”

“He’s not my friend, in fact we barely tolerate each other.” Simon sighs as he smoothes down the tape, “That’s untrue. He barely tolerates me. You obviously know how I feel and how he feels but the likelihood of us being anything more than civil is low.”

“Sometimes things aren’t always what they seem.” Spike’s pulling his shirt back on now, hiding the toned flesh beneath. The toned flesh Simon’s fingers have trailed over, kissed over-it’s only been a couple of hours but it feels as though their intimacy was days ago, circumstances having them act more as friends now not recent lovers.

Though it’s not to say Simon’s not up for a repeat or two whilst they have time together aboard; Jayne’s presence he knows will add a measure of guilt and Mal’s stern warning about bunks will cause complications, but something about Spike is addicting. Simon wants to talk to him, be intimate and laugh with him. It’s not the kind of want and need which would lead to love but it’s enticing in itself and when Spike leaves, Simon has no doubt they’ll part as friends and nothing more.

So I should enjoy it whilst it lasts then, the thought is tempting and Simon knows that acting upon it will cause problems but his fingers are stroking the nape of Spike’s neck on their own accord.

“Possible to hate each other and then grow out from that. Had it myself you know,” Spike’s leaning into the touch, “Thought he hated me an’ I hated him, thought he was useless and just out to bloody taunt me when he could because he liked the power of being one up on me. Dunno what happened, weren’t some magical epiphany or anything. He grew up an’ I learnt to tolerate more. Looked at me from what he saw, what he judged me to be 'cos of Angelus, Darla and every other damn vam-prat that had turned his life upside down an’ screwed him over.”

“Xander?” Simon’s sure that’s who Spike’s talking about, the wistfulness in his eyes having stopped his gentle stroking.

“Xander.” Spike agrees, but as he speaks the name there’s a smile on his lips. “Circumstances changed us. I had to adjust an’ he was already doing it. Started to respect him, taught him a few moves to defend himself an’ we went out for beer and pool. Wasn’t till the damn preaching wanker hurt him that I started to realize what more he could mean to me.”

“He was hurt before his accident?” Simon’s treading cautiously now, not wanting to bring up unpleasant memories.

“Eye was gouged out.” Spike’s reply is short, but the loathing that crosses his face lasts longer and Simon can’t help but pull his fingers away, stepping back in case his reminder has upset Spike. The loathing is still there as Spike continues although after a minute or so, it dies down as happier memories take over. “Bastard paid for doing that I can tell you. Xan an’ I we had our own troubles after that, both of us going on even though we wanted to give up with the crap that happened next.” Spike doesn’t elaborate on the bad times merely skips to the better, “Didn’t see each other for a few moths after that, was me that got to him first. Just walked into the bar he was in, saw him playing pool and asked him if he fancied again. Nearly gave him a heart attack and then the git had the cheek to ask me to buy the first round.” Spike’s smiling fondly now, “led to more drinks, more nights and then we sorta fell into things- did the shagging, did the friendship things then did the awkward emotional crap.”

Simon’s not sure what to say, how to react to what Spike’s saying. The man had started out saying it to convince Simon that he and Jayne are not as unlikely as Simon believes, but his own memories have side tracked him.

Spike looks up, eyes focusing on Simon as if sensing the awkward tension, “Hey now, no getting all broody on me. Know someone who can brood for England and I don’t need to see more of that.”

“England?” Simon’s trying to place the city, the name completely unfamiliar, Spike’s words do relax him a little-throw him out of his potential brood.

“Part of what you call Earth-that-was.” Spike’s shrugging off the impact those words have, the mere mention of Earth-that-was. In fact he’s distracting Simon from thinking about it too as he bends to run cool fingers from Simon’s knee up his calf, delving into the folds of his coat to stroke at the chafed skin there.

The action has Simon’s cock hardening before the Earth-that-was questions come to light, Spike’s hand teasing higher and his nails lightly rubbing against Simon’s sac through his boxers. To his mortification, the doctor lets out a soft moan, closing his eyes as Spike’s hand slips into his boxer’s to grasp the rigid flash there.

“Want me to doctor you now Simon?” Spike’s voice is husky and Simon bites back a groan of regret as Spike’s hand moves back down to stroke the sore skin.

“How about just getin’ your ruttin’ hands off of him.”

The harsh proclamation isn’t a question and Simon’s heart plummets as he opens his eyes to see Jayne standing at the door, arms folded over his chest. The glare on the mercenary’s face is full of more fury then Simon can ever remember seeing; as Spike extracts his hand from under Simon’s coat, Jayne’s fists tighten.

The humiliation at being caught in such a situation, at appearing so wanton, has Simon’s heart racing. He can’t help but look away as Jayne’s eyes rest on him, shame and embarrassment equal on his face.

“You playin’ at being a Biao zi now doc?” Jayne’s voice is dangerously calm, loathing no longer on his face but some emotion Simon cannot identify, his fists still clenched as he moves towards Simon.

Instinctively tensing, Simon for one moment wondering if the fists will fly out at him in fury unparalleled to the normal punches and jostles he’s received aboard Serenity. Standing his ground, he keeps eye contact with Jayne unsure of what to say other than the soft, “No," that leaves his lips.

“Only a bit of fun here mate.” Spike’s voice is silky smooth and effective at distracting Jayne. The man’s eyes slip immediately from Simon to Spike, loathing returning in full force as Spike keeps speaking. “Simon’s a touch saddle sore an’ I can’t help but offer my services in doctoring the doctor.”

“That ain’t no way to talk about the doc, no matter if he’s sore from your ruttin’.”

The disbelieved sound that leaves Simon’s lips is drowned out by Spike's laugh and the doctor sinks into a chair his face in his hands. The laugh does nothing but antagonize Jayne and he lunges forward fisting Spike’s shirt and shoving him hard against the wall.

“Doc ain’t just some hole where you can stick it, Hwoon dahn!”

The thump jolts Simon into jumping to his feet and he’s moving towards them, intent on pulling them apart even if he has to jump on Jayne’s back.

But in a moment everything changes. Somehow, though Spike is just too fast for Simon to see how, Spike turns the tables on Jayne and with surprising strength and an even more astounding lack of force, has Jayne pressed face first against the same wall. Jayne’s nose is bleeding as he struggles and curses but somehow Spike manages to hold him firmly against the wall.

“Think you’ll find it was the other way around there.” Spike’s pulling Jayne’s arms closer together but at his words Jayne stills, his head turning as far round as it can to get a glimpse of Simon.

“Doc?”

Jayne’s amazement annoys Simon but he keeps his head high, speaking not to Jayne but to Spike, “Please let him go Spike.”

The blue eyed man glances over his shoulder at Simon but doesn’t question him, instead with a motion which is almost vicious, he swings Jayne around dumping the man on the floor. Moving to Simon’s side, Simon misses the smirk that creeps over Spike’s face as he deliberately baits the fuming Jayne.

“Jayne’s leaving now, aren’t you Jayne?” Simon’s trying to keep his voice steady and so his words come out sounding a touch arrogant; this time he can’t help but see the look of hurt that flashes across Jayne’s face. Jayne’s reply has him feeling hollow and confused as the man quietly speaks before leaving the infirmary without a backward glance.

“Came to apol’gise about ruinin’ your pants. I’d have brought ya a new pair but seems ya got enough fancy crap onboard already. Next time I won’t bother ya.”