Nearly Lost You

Chapter Four

~*~ Greg's POV ~*~


When my eyes slowly flutter open I have to quickly shut them again because a familiar hangover is attacking my head and eyes. I guess I could be considered lucky because nausea is not a symptom related with any of my hangovers, but migraines and sensitive eyes make up for that. I feel like I have been repeatedly hit over the head with a sledge hammer.

With a groan I slowly rotate my body onto my other side only to come in contact with a warm body. Instantly my eyes snap open despite the pain and I can't help, but gasp when I see Nick lying beside me. Quickly I take in my surroundings and realize we are not in my bedroom meaning I went home with him.

*This just cannot be happening.* I think to myself pathetically. *He is going to throw a fit when he wakes up and realizes what we did. Do I really want to be here for that? Do I even have a choice?*

Slowly the events of last night resurface in my blurry mind and I let out a groan. This is such a fucked up situation I have gotten myself into yet at the same time I can't help, but smile. I have liked Nick ever since I joined the team and we just shared an amazing night together that I have dreamed about for such a long time... I only wish it had happened under better circumstances. There is no way this is going to end on good terms!

I nearly scream and fall out of the bed when an annoying beeping sound suddenly disturbs the silence. I quickly realize that it is Nick's alarm and hold my breath when I see his body stir as he slowly wakes up. With a grumble he slams his hand down onto the annoying alarm and stops its irritating wake up call, plunging the room into silence once again. I watch in dread as he slowly sits up and finally his gaze lands on me when he opens his eyes.

I flinch when he lets out a shriek and falls out of the bed. Usually I would find this to be very amusing, but laughing doesn't quite seem appropriate at the moment. When he peers over the bed however I allow a smile to play on my lips, he is just too damn cute. His expression doesn't falter though and causes my smile to quickly vanish. He so obviously takes a deep breath before rising himself back up onto the bed and I know any minute now he will start freaking out.

"What in God's name happened?" He asks with fear in his eyes. "What the hell did we do?"

"I think it's pretty obvious what we did." I say softly.

"I was extremely drunk last night, there is no way in hell I would have done this if I had been sober."

His words stab straight into my heart and stings, but I try not to show how much that simple sentence affected me. "Well it happened and there is no way we can take it back."

"This was all your fault; you took advantage of the situation. You knew I was drunk and used it against me. You probably had this all planned out! The alcohol misguided me and you saw an opportunity and had no doubts about taking it. If I were thinking clearly I never would have slept with you and you knew it. This was your way of getting what you wanted; you took something that wasn't rightfully yours. This is all your damn fault Greg!"

My jaw drops when I hear those hurtful words pass through his lips and my eyes widen considerably. How can he blame this all on me? How can he be so damn cruel? Does he have no consideration for my feelings at all? It is not like I planned this, but that is what he is accusing me of.

"I was drunk too Nick... but whatever makes you feel better, right?" I ask with a glare gracing my features, truly angered by his careless words. This is his fault just as much as it is mine no matter what he chooses to believe, he is just in denial!

Feeling hurt and beyond angry I stand up and pick my clothes up off of the floor. The pain in my ass is a reminder of what happened last night, which is something I could do without. I try to ignore his watchful eyes as I get dressed, but he is honestly making me feel uncomfortable and self conscious. I don't even want to look at him right now; I just can't understand how he can blame this all on me.

Once I am fully dressed I don't even acknowledge Nick as I walk out of his room. There is a slight limp in the way I walk, but I can't be bothered by that at the moment... my frustration won't allow me to. I slam the front door on my way out of the house and have to let out a sigh when I realize that my car isn't here, meaning I left it at the club and I have to walk all the way back there to get it. I hope Grissom doesn't yell at me too badly because I can already tell that I am going to be late for work.

~*~

I find myself feeling worse than I did this morning when Nick and I had that terrible argument. I am feeling horrible because I realize that he was right, last night really was entirely my fault. I was the one who pressured him into dancing with me; I wouldn't take no for an answer. Then I was the one flirting with him, dancing practically on top of him. I was also the one who asked if he wanted to go to his place or mine. I was the one who initiated the whole thing, Nick was right and I feel so damn guilty right now. I was just as drunk as he was and my better judgment was absent at that moment, but that doesn't change the fact that everything was my fault.

As I walk into the lab I look in all directions afraid of running into Nick. I want to apologize, but I have a feeling it wouldn't do me any justice. How can I apologize for taking advantage of him? There is no possible way he would forgive me for such a thing. I hate this guilt that has settled in the pit of my stomach, I wish there was something I could do to ease this unwanted feeling. If only Nick and I could work things out, but I am sure things can't go back to the way they were. Now we won't even be friends, or have a chance at being friends anyway and that knowledge only manages to bring me down further.

"Hey Greggo, why are you so late? Grissom is on the war path so be warned." Sara says as she walks my way.

"I left my car at the club last night because I was too drunk to drive so I had to walk there this morning to get it." I explain only leaving out the part where I had to walk from Nick's house. "Grissom is really mad at me?"

"If this were a cartoon steam would be coming out of his ears." She confirms my fears and I let out a groan.

"Thanks for the heads up Sara."

All I receive is a smile before I walk away and head to the locker room. After I drop off the few things I have brought with me I head in the direction of my lab. I am still a little hung-over and have no desire to work; I just hope that I don't mess anything up. Grissom would get pissed off and the last thing I want do is deal with a moody Gil.

*Shit he is pissed at me right now and there is no way I can avoid this conversation that will arise.* I think to myself with a groan. Deciding I should get this over with I head to his office and knock cautiously on the door before entering.

"I see you've finally decided to show up Sanders." Grissom says without even looking up from the paper in his hands.

"I am so sorry Gris, I left my car at the club last night and had to walk back to get it this morning... I was a little too tipsy to drive last night."

"I guess that means you ended up at Nick's last night." He finally looks up while saying this and has a playful smile on his features.

I can't help, but wince at the mentioning of Nick's name. It worries me how much Grissom pays attention to everyone's lives, but it is also kind of comforting in a strange way. For a while now I had a feeling that he knew there was something going on between Nick and myself, but didn't know how or even want to bring the subject up.

"Look Gris..." I start, but he cuts me off.

"It's alright, I don't care. Just make sure this doesn't happen again because you showed up later than Nick did." He says with a smile that he is trying to hide, but is obviously failing miserably.

When he looks back down at the paper in his hands and doesn't say another word I take that as he is dismissing me. I have that whole conversation on my mind as I head to my lab, but I stop in my tracks when I see Nick a few feet in front of me talking to Warrick. I start to panic when he notices me and literally run past them just to get away. This action makes me look like a freak and very much pathetic, but I can't help that now.

In the safety of my lab I take a deep inhale of air and try to calm my raging nerves. It is now that I realize my ass and lower back is killing me so I limp my way over to my chair and slowly sit down; not wanting to cause myself anymore pain.

This is officially the worst day ever; I don't see how it could get any worse. There is no way I can avoid Nick even though that is what I so desperately want to do. He probably wouldn't bring it up anyway, I can tell he is disgusted with himself and hates me more than anything. I deserve that feeling though, right? I mean I took advantage of my friend, a good person wouldn't do that whether they were intoxicated or not. There is no excuse for what I did.

I literally scream and push my chair backward when I lift my head only to find Nick standing there. He smirks at my actions and tries hard not to laugh even though he looks like he is about to burst any minute now.

*How did he get there and so quietly? How did I not notice him enter the room?* I question silently in my head; knowing I won't get an answer.

Once he forces off the urge to laugh he becomes very serious and I just know I am not going to like this conversation. God just kill me now!