Numb

Sam sat looking down at her barely touched pizza and thinking. She couldn't remember the last time someone had cared about what she wanted. She couldn't remember the last time she got what she wanted. She had made everything in her life about Alex. It had been years since anything had been about her. Now, here was one of the most attractive men she had ever seen sitting in front of her telling her he was willing to be whatever she wanted him to be.
He was prefect. That was the only way she could think to describe him. He liked spending time with Alex and not just to get to her. She could tell that much. It didn't matter to him whether she came along with them when they went out or not. He just liked Alex. He had a good job, not just a job, but a career. And not just any career, he was a doctor. Her mother would have loved that, if Sam still talked to her. He seemed sensitive and caring. He kept his word when he gave it. He hadn't lied to her yet so she assumed he was honest.
If he had one flaw it was that every once in a while, when he was with Alex, he got this far off look on his face, like he was remembering something very painful, but that just made him even more attractive. Sam could tell from his eyes that he carried around something very painful. She had thought about asking Abby about it but that seemed like she was going behind his back, so she waited and hoped that one day he would tell her himself. She hadn't exactly filled him on all the details of her past either. But whatever Luka carried seemed much bigger than the skeletons in her closet.
" You've hardly touched your food. " Luka said, looking over at her plate. " Are you feeling okay ? "
Sam brought her eyes up to meet his for a moment, then looked away.
" I'm fine. I guess with all the sun and heat, I'm just not very hungry. " she explained quickly.
" That's okay. We'll box it up and you can take it home for later. " he smiled, easily.
" Yeah, " she answered bringing herself out of her revelry, " That would be great. What are you doing later ? "
" Nothing, actually. I don't work tomorrow. I somehow managed to get two days off in a row. I guess I've been a good boy. " he chuckled, lightly.
" Me, too. I couldn't believe it when I saw the schedule. Next week, too. I even get a Friday off. " she smiled.
" Wow, you really must have been good. "
" Well, Alex is going to this slumber party with some of the kids in the apartment, so I have no plans either. Are you up for some kid free, adult company ? "
Luka's smiled deepened making the blue in his eyes even more vivid. " That would be wonderful. What did you have in mind ? "
Sam considered for a moment, wrapping her hair around her finger again.
" How about dinner at my place ? I could cook something. " she offered.
" You cook ? " he asked, astounded.
" Yeah, I can cook. We don't ever eat out, unless we're with you. " she said, sounding offended.
" I bet you are the best cook around. " he assured her.
" I wouldn't go that far, but I can make my way around an oven. "
" You have a date, then. " he told her.
" A date ? " Alex asked, coming back to the table again. " You're taking my mom out on a date ? "
" No, he is coming to our place and I am cooking dinner ? Is that okay with you, Dad ? " Sam asked, smirking at him.
Alex looked at Luka as if he was considered him, sizing him up. Then he looked back at his mom and did the same.
" I guess so. " he answered finally.
" Well, thank you for your permission but I don't need it. " Sam said, musing his hair.
" Are we ready to go ? I have to get to my slumber party soon. " he said, stepping out of her reach.
" Yeah, yeah. " Sam answered, grabbing her purse and standing.

Luka stood for a long while simply staring at the outside of the door to Sam and Alex's apartment. He had realized he was nervous on the drive over, but it wasn't until he was climbing the stairs leading to their landing that he realized how nervous he actually was. He shifted the bottle of wine he had brought from one hand to the other, intermittently rubbing his sweating palms on the leg of his tan slacks. He couldn't remember the last time he was this unsettled over a simple dinner date. Even before he married, still a young boy, he had never felt awkward or uneasy around women. It hadn't taken him long to understand that women generally found him attractive. That had increased exponentially when he came America. That knowledge had always seemed to offer him a certain confidence when dealing with women.
Now that confidence had apparently abandoned him. Maybe it was because he sensed something more in Sam. He knew that good looks and charm wouldn't win her over. She was the type of woman that needed substance. He just wasn't sure there was any substance left in him after all he had been through.
Finally, realizing he had been staring at her door for the last few minutes and worried that she might catch him there, he reached out and pushed the buzzer.
" Come in, " her voice called from inside.
Luka opened the door and was greeted by the hunger-inspiring smell of food baking. The aroma was heavenly and his stomach gave a grumble of appreciation. The next thing that struck him upon closing the door, was candlelight. The entire apartment was illuminated by the soft, warm glow of several candles burning. A slow smile crept to his face as the light and the smells almost instantly lulled him into relaxation.
That lasted only long enough for Sam to step out of the doorway to the kitchen. His chest immediately began pounding again at seeing her standing in front of him wearing a simple, straight, white sun dress. The neckline plunged to a point, exposing the tiny swell of her breasts. A single, teardrop pendant rested just above the dip of the neckline drawing the eye and shimmering in the candlelight. Matching earrings dangled from her ears and swayed as she moved. Her hair was pulled away from her face on the sides and secured with a small, white clip.
Luka stood staring at her, speechless.
" Dinner is almost ready. I hope you like Italian. I made ravioli. " she said, smiling as she walked to him.
He willed himself to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat and concentrated on forming a smile. " I love Italian. Is there anything I can do to help ? "
" No, the oven is doing all the work now. We just have to wait. " she told him, moving to the beige sofa in the corner of the rond snd sitting. " Come join me. Make yourself at home. "
Luka moved to the sofa and sat down just far enough away from her that he wasn't invading her personal space.
" Is that for us ? " she asked, indicating his hand.
It was only then that he remembered the wine he had brought and held it out to her.
" Yeah, I hope it's okay. I wasn't sure if you drank or not, but I figured I'd take a chance." he said, his voice weaker and more unsure than he intended it to be.
Sam accepted it and read the label quickly. " I've been known to throw back a few. " she chuckled lightly. " I'll just get us some glasses. "
Luka smiled along with her and watched as she retreated back into the door she had arrived from.
The second she was out of sight, he rubbed his hands on his pant legs again and shifted uncomfortably. What was the matter with him ? He was acting like a complete idiot. He threw his head back against the back of the sofa and took in a long deep breath, physically reigning in his anticipation and releasing it with the breath. Then he picked his head up and squared his shoulders just in time to see her returning to the room, carrying two half full glass of wine and the bottle.
" Thank you. " he said, accepting the glass she offered him and shifting slightly so he was facing her as she sat down. " You didn't have to go through all this trouble. " he told her, taking a sip from his glass.
" I know, but I wanted to say thank you for taking such an interest in Alex. He really needs something right now and as hard as I try I can't figure it out. But when he's with you he seems so happy. " she explained, bringing one leg under her and resting her back against the arm of the sofa.
" You don't have to thank me. Alex is wonderful. The more time I spend with him the more I like him. You have done a wonderful job raising him. I know it must have been hard by yourself. "
Luka could have sworn he saw a slight blush rise in her cheeks. " I appreciate that. I've done everything I could to be a good mother. But sometimes I wonder if I've been good enough. I was so young, I felt like I had no idea what I was doing. " she said, softly.
Luka watched as she took another drink and then rested her arm on the back of the couch. Her fingers were so close to his shoulder they were almost touching him. He wondered if she had noticed it as well.
" You shouldn't worry so much. Alex is great. You really are doing a fantastic job. " he assured her again.
She chuckled and shifted slightly. " Alex used to think I was pretty great, too, but apparently I have been bumped. You are now on the top of the list. He is at his slumber party right now telling all the kids in the apartment building how cool his new friend is. "
" I'm glad he thinks I'm so cool, but don't worry the new will wear off and you will be the coolest again in no time. " he smiled.
" All right, " she said, placing her glass on the table in front of her, " enough about Alex. Tell me about you. I know so little. "
" There isn't really much to tell. " he answered vaguely, taking a drink from his glass before placing it beside hers.
" All I know at this point is your from Croatia and apparently you are a big kid with the ball and video games. You mean there isn't more than that ? " she urged.
" No, really that's about it. I mean there are a few things missing. Things I'd rather not talk about, but all in all that's me. " he said, shifting again and inadvertently ending up a little closer to her. " So what about you ? I don't even know where your from ? "
Sam smiled. " I'm from Boston originally. Alex and I have moved around a lot. "
" Why is that ? Have you just not found the place that makes you happy ? "
" No, It's a little more involved than that. I just never seem to be able to stay in one place very long. But I like Chicago. The hospital is great. I love my job and Alex seems happier here than he has in a long time. Maybe we can rest here for a while. " she said, as her hand moved to Luka's shoulder and she absently began playing with the material of his shirt.
Luka's breath hitched for a moment when he felt her touch him. He hadn't been expecting it. But as her fingers played at the seam on his shoulder he found himself enjoying the contact.
" I hope so. " he said, softly, letting his eyes find hers and rest there.
They sat that way for a long while, just looking into each others eyes, chocolate meeting indigo, connecting on a deeper level than words could afford them.
He was so lost in her eyes that he hadn't noticed her lean forward until he realized she was only inches away from him. He could smell her perfume and feel the heat from her body on his skin. When her tongue snaked out to wet her lips, he knew he was completely and utterly lost.
Reaching up to tangle his hand in her mass of curls, he pulled her closer and softly brushed her lips with his. It was an uncertain, questioning gesture. He didn't have to wait to receive her answer. Before he knew it, her body was resting against him and she was kissing him. There was nothing unsure in her gesture. Her lips melded with his and the taste of strawberry, mingled slightly with wine, assaulted him. His arms moved around her, pulling her tighter against him. When he brushed against the bare skin of her back, so sand and warm, he knew she could feel his hands shaking. He knew she could feel his heart hammering in his chest, pressed so tightly against her breasts. But when her hand came up and gently touched the side of his neck, he noticed her hand shaking, too. It wasn't until then that he realized his heart wasn't the only one racing wildly.
With a renewed sense of confidence at knowing he was affecting her as much as she was him, he moved his tongue and gently sought admittance to her mouth. She gave it willingly, without hesitation, opening herself to him completely.
Then, as suddenly as the kiss had begun it ended. Luka's whole body jerked at the shock of her warmth leaving so abruptly. He barely contained a whimper as she pulled completely out of his grasp.
" Timer is going off. " she managed as she finally tore her lips away from his.
It wasn't until then that he heard the insistent buzzing coming from the kitchen.
He let his arms fall from around her and she slowly pulled away from him, her own arms linger until he was completely out of her reach.
" Sorry, I didn't hear it. " he told her as she stood and walked to the door.
" Yeah, me either. I guess we got distracted. " she called from the other room.
Luka ran his hands threw his hair, trying to bring himself back from where ever it was they had just been. Finally regaining his composure, he stood, shook himself once more for good measure and made his way into the kitchen, grabbing their glasses as an after thought.
Sam was standing at the sink when he entered, looking out the window with a far off expression on her face. He put the glasses down on the table, crossed the room and gently touched her shoulder.
Startled, she jumped slightly and looked to him.
" Are you okay ? " he asked, quietly.
" I'm fine, " she smiled, uneasily.
" You don't look fine. " he siad, smiling down at her petite form. " Well, I mean, you look beautiful but you don't seem fine. "
Sam laughed and turned to him fully. She rested her hand on his chest. " I'm fine really, let's eat before it gets cold. "
" It smell delicious. " he told her.
" Thank you. I hope you like it. " she said, stepping away from him and sitting at the table.