And then the petals fell
chapter 4
xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40">
Title: And
then the petals fell …
Author: Mary Eve
Parker ms.parker@gmx.at
Spoilers: “Lady
Heater’s box”
Rating: not sure
now, imagination may be a little higher …
Disclaimer: I
borrowed them for a little bit, their actions and dialogues are mine!
Note: thanks to
Karen for the beta, her ideas and the big help! *smack*
This is my first
attempt on CSI Fanfiction, so don’t be too hard with me!
Can be found at:
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AND THEN THE
PETALS FELL …
Part 4/?
“War, go home and sleep
for a couple of hours and take a shower. I will wait till she wakes up again
and call you then. We need to be strong then …,” Nick said a hand on the black
man’s shoulder.
“Yeah you are right. But I’ll
just take a couple of hours. I’ll call Grissom when I am home, check up on how
Lindsey is doing.”
“I spoke with him
already. Grissom and Lindsey seem to be getting on really well. When I saw her
she was sleeping on the sofa apparently tired from a trip the two of then had
taken. Grissom took her to meet with a friend of his who collects butterflies;
I think they had a ball.”
While they are talking,
Catherine began to stir. She has been here more than a week now, ands till she
refused to let Lindsey come to visit. She couldn’t let Lindsey see her like
ashamed that she had let it come that far.
The strawberry blond
opened her eyes, trying to force a smile when she registered her visitors. But
then she remembered, there was nothing to smile for
anymore.
down on the other side of the bed, softly touching her hand.
“Fine, I am fine … just
feeling like a truck RAN over me but much better THAN the days before.” She
looked around the room, a little confused. “How is Lindsey?”
“She is with Gil and both
are doing fine.”
Gil,
a chapter on its own.
Warwick wondered all the time what had happened that she absolutely didn’t
allow Gil near her. Grissom hadn’t come to the hospital but talked to Nick.
“Are you okay with Nick,
Cath?”
“Sure, go head home War,”
she said with a soft, little smile playing on her lips.
“Okay, see you later,” he
replied and placed a kiss on her forehead. “And you take care of her, do you
understand Nick?”
“Sure War, shut up and
head home,” he joked back.
As if they could do
anything funky, crazy or funny.
“So how is Lindsey
Nicky?”
“Your little girl is
doing absolutely fine. Gil has been taking really good care of her, he’s got
her doing fun stuff to try to keep her happy. Or maybe to
keep you happy, Catherine.” He took a deep breath, “He’s been looking
after her like a parent, like they are father and daughter.”
“But they aren’t Nicky,
they aren’t.”
“Sure … if you say so.”
“I am sure about that,
100 percent and I should know it.”
“Hopefully…. Cath, you
know I know about what happened between you and Gil but I never dreamed of …I
mean that it would end like this.”
“What do you mean,” she
sat up, her face showing astonishment.
Nick got off from his
chair and set down on the bed, his hands holding Catherine. He already felt
that this wasn’t going to be easy, for both of them.
“You remember the day I
startled you in the locker room when you changed?” She only nodded …
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text-autospace:none'>And it hurt so
much today, today was the day she had hoped that a miracle was beginning. But
it was not to be, they were the same as they always were.
And she was
without a child. It hurt her so much that she had allowed herself to become
like this – when had she turned into a woman who yearned for a man so much? It
was Gil, so it should be okay, they should have found a way to make things
easier on each other. But they had not, they were becoming poison together. And
she couldn’t stop it, or wouldn’t, and for that she was ashamed.
She was sitting
on the small bench in front of her locker and buried her face in her hands,
elbows on her knees. She was so caught up in her grief and self disgust that
she hadn’t heard Nick come in. She missed the look of sorrow on his face when
he saw her in this position, the urge to hold her and offer comfort was
overwhelming him.
“Nicky, I thought
you’d gone home already.”
“I am heading out
now; can I take you home, Cath?”
“I am fine.”
“I’d like to
help, if you’ll let me.”
And that was her
undoing, the kindness of her sweet friend. He helped her dress, ignoring the
finger marks on her shoulders, marks he was sure where made in Grissom’s office
earlier that night. He had heard noises earlier, and had hoped that they were
finally going to be happy. But Catherine was crying and Grissom was nowhere to
be found.
It was his job to
take her home and let her cry if that’s what she needed to do. And that’s what
she did, all the way. And the tears didn’t stop when she closed the front door.
She couldn’t close it out her house anymore like she tried before
In front of him
she stepped out of her pants and pulled the shirt over her head and sat down on
the bed.
“Can you stay
till I fall asleep?”
“Sure, as long as
you want me to stay.”
He thought she
was the hell of sexy woman, sexier than women at his age are, and of course
sexier than Sara could ever be.
It didn’t take
her long to fall asleep, her face buried into the crook of his neck.
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“Yes I remember this
night.”
“But the thing you don’t
know is that I saw him … you … I thought you would be finally having fun. That
you would … I mean enjoy …”
“Nick I enjoyed it.” He
looked into her eyes and could see the pain in them, the confusion, the
misunderstanding. “It’s just that things turned out differently.”
“What do you mean?”
“I thought he’d change
but he didn’t. I can't live with it anymore. I don’t want to be that woman
anymore. As soon as I am out here I am gone. I can't live with that this whole
shit anymore – the way he is around me. And the way I am around him. We
shouldn’t have gotten together. It seems to have caused us toe eve every
feeling we ever shared.” Tears were streaming again. “It hurts to look at him
now, it hurts that he doesn’t really want me. And I am better than that,
stronger. Or I used to be …”
“Is that why …?” She only
nodded, knowing that he was talking about her alcoholism.
“But why Catherine, you
could have talked to one of us, we could have helped you.”
“Nobody can help me with
it. It’s been my fault to start it and it’s onto me to stop it. I don’t want to
do this anymore, I can't.”
mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>“Why?”
“I just didn’t think it
would be like this. I thought that what ever lines we crossed, he and I could
always be friends. But we’ve lost that. We don’t kiss, we don’t love,
could wear whatever I wanted, he couldn’t notice. I tried, oh Lord
doesn’t. Every time, every single time we were together, he would go to the
bathroom and clean himself up and waited in there till
he was sure the office door had closed again and I was on the other side of
it.”
Tears were running freely
down her swollen cheeks as Nick pulled her into a tight hug. If he’d Grissom
now, boss or not, past respect or not, he would be hitting him hard.
But he couldn’t focus on
that now, he needed to focus on the woman sobbing in his arms. Cath needed to
speak to somebody and it was gonna be him.
“You know Nick,” she said
between sobs, “the only thing I ever want is baby … and I made the mistake of
asking him for help.” He didn’t answer. “I thought that if I got pregnant then
he would be happy. I thought a baby would make him happy too. But nothing about
us together made him happy. I would say that we were just fuck buddies, but
that would imply that there was friendship between us. But that is gone now, I
think. And it would be so easy to continue the way we were, because, even if
his touch was cold, it was there. I had someone touching me. Do you see what
I've become, what we had done to each other?”
Now he was sure about
what was going on. It was all about love, she loved him, with every piece of
her soul.
~*~
“I don’t want to see Gil
Grissom and that’s the last time I tell you this Warwick.”
“But he wants to talk to
you.”
“And?
Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'> If I remember correctly, it’s my life and if
I don’t want to talk to him, I haven’t. Or am I wrong?”
Catherine had only to
stay two more days here. She had already written the papers she needed to
change to another city. She only had to hand them to Gil, on Monday – four more
days left to think about how.
“Mum,” Catherine heard
from the door and turned around. Her little girl was standing there in new blue
jeans and a kewl t-shirt with a big bug on it. She had to smile about it.
“Oh Linds, I missed you
baby.”
“Mum,” she moaned.
Catherine smiled about it.
“So tell me everything,
little one.”
And so the girl started She told her about the “And you know Mum; he “If I allow it …,” Cath How should she tell your “Sure, if you really let “Lindsey,” a voice asked “Can I mummy?” “Sure, go with him and mso-bidi-font-family:Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>
p>
to tell her about all the stuff she had done with Uncle Gil – from the small
trip to Los Angeles to see a bug exhibition up to a visit to Lake Meat to rent
a boat.
fact that Uncle Gil had helped her to redecorate her room because he bought her
a big spider poster. Catherine silently thanked him for not bringing a big
spider into her house.
said I can have Bubo if you allow it.”
mumbled.
daughter that they would move forward, not stay in Vegas, BUT move to
Washington?
him only be in his box,” she said with a smile.
from the door and both girls turned around to see Warwick there, “do you want
to get some ice cream?”
let me talk to Nicky.”
The girl left with
Warwick and Nick sat down.
“You really want to leave
for Quantico?”
“Nick I can't stay, I
just can't.”
“And
Lindsey?”
“She will get over it.
She will find new friends in Virginia.”
“But …”
“Nick you have to
understand, I can't go on with that. You see where it brought me the last time.
This can't happen again.”
“But …”
“No buts anymore Stokes.
It’s my life and I have to move forward.”
~*~
TWO DAYS LATER
Catherine entered her
house. Gil wasn’t there but SHE saw a shirt of his over a chair in the living
room and a pair of sweats on the cloth horse.
Of course she was
thankful that he had taken care of Lindsey, but she did not want to see him or
talk to him about what had happened. She knew it was a conversation she would
not survive in any way.
Nick had brought some
boxes with him when he brought her from the hospital back home. And while she
was going towards her bedroom, he placed them in the kitchen area.
“Do you need …?” He
didn’t finish the sentence when he found her sitting on her bed, baby cloths in
her hands with a bug on it. She sat there, not crying, not saying anything, in
complete silence, the piece of cloths between her fingers staring at it.
SB'>She laid her head on the
pillow for a few moments, inhaling his scent before she couldn’t stop herself
anymore. But she had to. So she threw open the window, and began to strop the
sheets from her bed. But it was difficult, and his scent was overwhelming, and
it was weakening her resolve already. She finished pulling the sheets off and
sank with them to the floor, face in her hands again, and started crying.
Nick left her to grief,
acknowledging what the doctor had told him that she would have to face her own
demons if she was going to be well enough to leave town the following week.
~*~
Lindsey came home to find
her mum cooking dinner. Everything from Gil placed in a big box. She has
written his name on it to take it with her on Monday when she hands him the
papers.
Before Lindsey had come
home she had typed them – formally telling that she got an offer from Quantico
and WAS taking it.
Lindsey hasn’t been
asking any questions about the time Catherine wasn’t home nor did she ask
anything about what happened or why Gil wasn’t around anymore.
“Lindsey we’ve to talk,”
she told her little daughter and placed the pudding in front of her.
“Okay,” the girl replied
about to start eating her dessert. ,
“We need to leave Las
Vegas.” Lindsey looked up from her dessert.
“Forever.”
Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'>
“No.”
watery.
“But we will leave on
Tuesday.”
“No I won’t.”
“No?”
“No.” The little girl
nearly screamed at her.
“Linds, baby, we have
to.” She tried to touch her daughters blond strands, her head, softly. “I have
a good job to go to. I think we can make a good life there, baby. WE need to do
this, I need to do this. For us.”
“I don’t want either but
we have to.”
“No, I am sure that if
you would talk to Uncle Gil, he could give you another job so you can stay in
Las Vegas.”
“Lindsey, look at me.”
She looked deep into her daughter’s eyes, both females nearly crying. “I don’t
want that what happened to happen again and the only way is to leave.”
“But I don’t want to
leave Uncle …”
“Is this all about Gil?”
The Girl was sobbing
freely now, tears running down her face, and dripping off her chin.
“You never ask me … what
I want.”
“I am doing this for you,
Lindsey. I am doing this for a better life.”
“I don’t care, I w
le
leave.” She screamed and then ran to her room crashing the door heavily in its
frame behind her. God, her daughter was so like she was at that age.
Catherine wanted to give
her daughter some time to calm down before talking to her again. Before she
could consider her next move further, there was a knock on the door. Then as
quickly there was a key turning in the look and the door opening.
Gil Grissom was standing
in front of her, exactly what she didn’t want to happen.
She stood nervously in
the middle of the living room, her hands shaking.
“I am just here to pick
up … I can't do that Catherine.”
“Then way are you here? I
will bring your stuff on Monday. You can go.”
“If that’s what you want,
I’ll see you on Monday,” he paused for a short moment. “How do you feel?”
“Stop it Gil.” She
shouted at him. “Let’s not start with that now, we don’t care about each others
feelings, remember? So just stop with that shit.”
Gil just stood there,
astonished at her outburst. Wondering how it was possible that they could have
become so estranged from each other.
He watched her now as she
turned her back to him, attempting to hide her sobs.
He wanted nothing more
than to hold her. To hold her, to tell her that everything
was going to be alright. That he would make everything alright for her
if she would let him.
But she didn’t want that,
that is what she was telling him now.
He had come to try and
make things right – his presence, his offer of apology. But she refused.
He was too late.
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End Part 4
More?
Verdana;mso-ansi-language:EN-GB'> Mail me: ms.parker@gmx.at