Do It One More Time

* * * * *

I really should have known better, Joxer sighed to
himself. He never had been able to stand up to his
brother in his fight--even putting aside the fact that
Jett was so much faster and more competent at such
matters. Joxer always tried to play by the
rules...well, except for that punch to the nuts.

Jett, on the other hand, merely played to win.

Jett hadn't hurt Joxer too much, except for his
pride, which was smarting quite severely. So were his
wrists, tied securely behind his back, and his ankles,
which were similarly bound in front of him. It might
not have been so uncomfortable except that the rope
was cutting into his bare skin; Jett had unburdened
Joxer of all of his clothes save his socks and
underwear. In fact one of his socks was now, rather
disgustingly, shoved into his mouth and tied in place
as a gag. To make matters worse, Jett had shoved him
into a closet in the back of the storage room. Joxer
feared no one might find him here for days.

Jett had promised he'd come around and check on him
"later"...no doubt once he'd taken care of Gabrielle
and found Xena, Joxer thought miserably.

Dammit! he cursed, working with renewed intensity
against his bonds. I have to get out of here!

His wrists were raw, and his struggles to free himself
only seemed to cause more pain, but he refused to give
up. Unfortunately, Jett obviously knew a thing or two
about making sure a prisoner couldn't escape easily.
The knots were too secure, and the rope too strong to
wear down.

Of course, I'm sure Autolycus would've able to get
himself out of this, Joxer thought, wishing he'd
spent more time learning some of the thief's tricks
regarding the art of escape. Himself and me, while he
was at it. What the Tartarus was I thinking, leaving
and deciding to take on Jett on my own? Now I've gone
and screwed everything up.

Joxer kept struggling, growing more frustrated and
desperate as the minutes passed into what felt like
hours. After some indefinite time, though, he thought
he heard someone moving about in the storeroom.
"Mmmmmmmph!" he tried to shout, though it was quite
difficult with the gag in his mouth. "Mmm-mmmph!" He
managed to scoot himself over until he could lift his
bound feet and kick them against the door, trying to
catch the person's attention.

Only a few seconds later, he heard someone working on
the door. Great, on top of everything else, he
locked me in here? But soon enough, the door swung
open...

...and he couldn't believe it when he saw the
blessedly familiar--although surprisingly bloodied and
bruised--face peering in at him.

"Well!" Autolycus observed, managing a bit of a smile,
"I thought you might be in some sort of a bind. I see
I wasn't mistaken."

"Mm-mmm-mmph!"

"Yeah, tell me about it." Autolycus kneeled before
Joxer and reached behind his head, loosening and then
removing the gag. "Better?"

"Umph...yeah, thanks."

"Let me get those ropes." Autolycus m aro around
behind Joxer and got to work on freeing his hands.

How did he get here? Joxer wondered, though concern
over the thief's condition prompted him to ask first,
"What happened to you?"

"The same thing that happened to you, I believe--
Jett."

That would certainly explain it. Though only one
thing could explain how the King of Thieves had found
him: "You've been following me?"

"Uh...yeah, I guess tha kin kind obvious. I'm sorry,
I...I know you told me not to, that you wanted to
take care of Jett on your own..."

"Yeah, and as you can see I did a real good job of
that." He knew he should have been angry about it,
but he was too relieved at being freed, especially
since a few moments ago he had been certain he had
no hope of stopping Jett.

He also couldn't help it that, despite everything, he
was simply glad that Auto was here. The few days alone
had dampened his anger, and given him a lot of time to
think things over. He sighed in relief as his hands
were freed and he could start shaking and rubbing the
numbness out of them.

"You had to give it a shot. I wasn't gonna get in the
way of letting you do that. But now we'll deal with
him together," Auto answered, as he moved back in
front of Joxer to untie his feet. When he finished, he
raised his eyes and added, "I'd like to hope maybe we
can deal with other things too, together, once this is
over. Listen, Jox...I know we don't have a lot of time
for talking, but I gotta tell you this now. I know I
said it the other night, and it wasn't enough. But I
don't know what else to say, except that I'm sorry...
more sorry than I can put in words. I hurt you, and I
honestly didn't mean to. You gotta believe me."
Tentatively, he reached out placed his hand on
Joxer's, waiting for his answer.

That soft touch, so hesitant and tender...that
hopeful, vulnerable look on the normally so-composed
thief's face... How could Joxer deny what he was
seeing, what his heart was telling him was the truth?
"I do," Joxer answered softly. Perhaps it would take
time before he could forget what had happened, what
had nearly pulled them apart...but he could forgive.

He relaxed his hand under the soft touch, feeling a
tremor of desire as Auto took the invitation to grasp
it more firmly, and stroke it gently with his thumb.
"I love you, Joxer. I don't want anyone but you,"
Autolycus vowed. "After we straighten out this
business with Jett, the only thing I want is the
chance to try to prove that."

Joxer shook his head and answered, "Auto, you don't
need to prove anything. I know. I'm sorry I doubted
you, and ran out like I did...I was just so upset, I
needed some time to try to sort myself out..."

"Hey, I understand, no apologizing to me here, all
right?" Auto assured him with a clearly relieved
smile. When, after a moment, he leaned in closer for a
kiss, Joxer offered no resistance, positively feeling
as if he could melt into the thief's embrace that soon
followed, and against those warm, coaxing lips...

Auto sighed in regret and pulled away much too soon
for Joxer's taste. "I wish I could just do that for
the rest of the day..."

"Me too," Joxer agreed, "but Jett--"

"I know, I know. He really packs a mean punch. I don't
know how long I was knocked out cold back there."

"More than enough time for Jett to probably find
Gabrielle. She was scheduled for the Bards'
Competition this afternoon."

"Yeah, I saw that on the schedules stuck up nearly
everywhere. We'd better hope she's still there.
Uh...you got anything to wear besides that?" Autolycus
asked as they both got to their feet and prepared to
leave.

"Jett left his clothes in the corner here," Joxer
answered, picking up the leather garments and hastily
getting dressed. As soon as he finished lacing up the
boots, he nodded to Autolycus and said, "Okay, let's
do it."

* * * * *

"...And once again, the sweet sounds of Orpheus' Lyre
echoed through the forest as he was reunited with his
love, Eurydice.

"And the Bacchae? Some say their cries can still be
heard in the night, along with the mournful calls of
wolves when the moon is full. Perhaps it is merely
superstition...or perhaps some of the children of
Bacchaus live on, waiting for their master to come
back to them. If so, let us hope that if that time
comes, another hero like Xena will be there to stop
him.

"The End."

The enthusiastic applause from the crowd brought a
wide smile to the bard's face, and she bowed
graciously in appreciation for the response. She'd
never performed in front of so many people before, and
at first it had been terribly intimidating. But once
she starting getting into the story, and saw she had
the audience's attention, her confidence grew and she
knew it carried over into her voice and presentation.
I'm so glad I chose this story! I thought the
audience yesterday wanted a little more action and
magic, and what better to fit the bill than this?

She hoped Joxer was somewhere in the audience,
considering he'd played a part in the story, too--and
she'd actually gone back and revised the scroll
slightly last night, out of guilt over some of the
less kind things she'd said about him when she'd first
written it. But she was certain he had to be around
somewhere. She hadn't even noticed she'd lost him
earlier in the busy market at first, and when she had,
she couldn't find him anywhere, nor did she have the
time to really try.

"Thank you, Gabrielle, for our last entry in this
afternoon's round of the Bard's Competition," the host
announced as he joined her on stage. "Please,
everyone, make sure to join us tomorrow in time for the
awards ceremony, when the judges' choices in all
of the major competitions will be announced!"

Gabrielle made her way off the stage while the host
encouraged people to stick around for the dance
exhibition coming up next. Several of her fellow
competitors came up to congratulate her on her
presentation, and she met them graciously,
complementing them in turn for their performances. She
hoped, based on the crowds' reaction, that she had a
good chance of winning the competition, but it was so
hard to tell if the judges' reaction would be similar.

A tap on the shoulder got her attention, and she spun
around to see who it was. "Hey, Joxer! I see you found
me again."

"I figured you wouldn't miss out on the competition."

"That's for sure. Sorry I lost you earlier. I know how
worried you've been about Jett, but as you can see, I
managed to survive a few hours on my own."

"So I see. Hey, how about we go get something to eat?
Celebrate the good showing."

"Sounds like a good idea," she agreed, "I was too
nervous to eat anything earlier..." With that, they
disappeared into the crowded streets in search of some
dinner.

* * * * *

"Damn! It's already over?" Joxer groaned as he and
Autolycus finally found the right stage where
Gabrielle had been scheduled to perform--only to find
the Bards' Competition was over. "Now how are we
going to find her?"

Autolycus spied a few men swapping and examining
scrolls by the side of the stage and worked his way
over toward them through the crowd. "Excuse me, but
were you here for the Bards' Competitiarliarlier?"

"Yeah, why?" one of them answered, a little
suspiciously. Autolycus knew he was looking far from
his best at the moment, what with one eye swelling up
and soon to turn black and blue, and several bruises
and cuts he'd had little chance to tend to beyond
wiping away the dried blood.

"Yoe a e a gal named Gabrielle? Blonde, about this
high...short skirt and this sort of ugly green top..."

"Oh yeah, yeah, she was the last one up for the
competition."

One of the other men piped in, "She left with some guy
right after she finished...he looked just like that
fella behind you, actually." The man pointed to Joxer.

"Great," Autolycus sighed. "Any idea where they went?"

"Up the street that way, somewhere." The man waved
vaguely to his right.

"Thanks," Auto answered. Turning to Joxer, he said,
"Okay. Time for Plan Beta."

"Which is?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out," Autolycus
answered, rubbing his chin distractedly as he thought
over their options.

"Autolycus?" someone called to him. Looking up as
Joxer turned around at the familiar voice coming from
behind him, he exclaimed with relief, "Xena! It's
about time you showed up!"

"Autolycus...Joxer. It's been a while," she greeted
them both, then said, "I was hoping to make it here in
time to see Gabrielle on stage, but I see I'm too
late. She's not going to be very happy with me about
that."

"I think that's the last thing you need to be worrying
about," the thief explained.

"Why, what's wrong?" she asked, her blue eyes quickly
showing her concern as she looked between the two men.

"It's my brother, Jett," Joxer answered. "He escaped
from prison and he's looking to even the score. He's
pretending to be me, and it sounds like he left the
competition with Gabrielle."

"You don't have any idea where they could be?" Xena
asked.

"I don't think he'd try to pull off being Joxer
for too long...my only hunch is that he'd trick her
somehow, and take her back to where he's been hiding
out, to use her to get to you. In which case, I know
where to find them," Autolycus said.

"Then we'd better get to this 'hideout' of his as soon
as possible," Xena said. "If he's laid a hand on
her..." she nearly growled, leaving the threat hanging
at that.

"Don't worry, we'll take turns in that case,"
Autolycus agreed.

* * * * *

Gabrielle awoke slowly, feeling completely
disoriented when consciousness came to her.
Where am I? she wondered, though when she
looked around she found she couldn't see very
clearly at all. Everything was blurry, hazy--her
vision, her thoughts, her recent memories. On
top of everything else, her head hurt and she
felt more than a little nauseous.

All she remembered was...something about...the
competition, yes, that was fine...and then
Joxer...Joxer and the tavern and some food...the
rabbit was good but the ale tasted a little
off...Joxer...?

Her eyes finally managed to focus and she saw
that he was standing right in front of her--
though with a rather un-Joxerlike smile on his
face. Why, Joxer should know that giving her a
look like that was just asking for trouble, or
at least a good nose-pinch...

...although she'd need to use her hands to do
that. And she was just realizing that they were
tied behind her...?!

"Joxerrrrr?" she questioned, her voice slurred
as she couldn't quite get her mouth to work
properly.

"Guess again, little girl," he said.

For a moment, his response was too complicated
for her brain to understand. But then she
remembered why Joxer had been so obsessed with
following her around town and guessed, "Jett?"

"Very good!" he replied with a sneer. "You
deserve a prize for figuring that out so fast.
Too bad the only thing I have for you is this."
He pulled out his dagger and held it to her
throat. She tried not to shudder or in any way
show her fear as he ran the flat of the blade
along her neck, so slow and so lightly it was
like some perverse erotic caress. To Jett, it
probably is, she realized, getting a sick
feeling in her stomach.

"You'd best be more careful about who you accept
a drink from in the future, Gabrielle. Of
course, whether or not you have any kind of a
future at this point is something we'll have to
see about. It depends on how...accommodating you
are, and if Xena does what I ask her to do.
Namely, hand herself over to me."

He smirked, and his eyes followed the path his
blade took, down her neck and then over her
chest. "I'd hate to have to kill you, at least
before we've had the chance to get to know each
other better. As much as killing you might be
fun too, especially with Xena here to watch. Butherehere is, Xena, hmmm? Why don't you tell me that
now so we can get things moving along, and so I
don't have to make your stay here with me more
uncomfortable than necessary."

"You don't have to...do this..." Each word took
a great deal of effort to form and speak, and
she wished her brain wasn't working so
sluggishly as well. She needed to figure out a
way out of here, but in her current condition
that was going to be difficult. Whatever Jett
had drugged her with to knock her out was not
leaving her system quickly. "We can...work
something out..."

"I don't think so. It's too late for that," Jett
disagreed.

But then another voice interrupted, "No, it's
too late for you, Jett."

Jett spun around and Gabrielle tried to focus on
where the other voice was coming from, the one
that had sounded just like Jett...

"Joxer!" the assassin groaned. "For fuck's sake,
didn't you get the message yet? Stay out of
this!"

"No. I told you, I'm not going to let you hurt
her!"

"And I thought I already showed you that you
can't stop me."

"Alone, I can't. You're right. But you're
forgetting that I've got friends...in high
places."

As if on cue, a pair of cries filled the air--a
trademark piercing "Yiyiyiyiyiii" as Xena
exploded through the doorway, and an equally
loud "Yodelaihihoo!" as a blur of green and
black descended from the rafters above their
heads. Jett looked up just in time to catch
Autolycus' boots right in his face. The assassin
was knocked to the ground with a solid "Ooomph!"
while Autolycus landed gracefully, dropping his
rope and grappling hook to the side. He spotted
Gabrielle's staff standing against the wall and
grabbed it, while Joxer ran over to free the
bard and Xena prepared for her own attack.

"You looking for me? Well here I am," Xena
beckoned as Jett struggled to get to his feet.
"Come on and get me."

"Bitch!" Jett spat, drawing his sword and
obviously welcoming the invitation. Autolycus
hovered clear of the two of as the fighting
ensued, waiting to see if he could be of any
assistance. Jett was fast, and did manage to
glance Xena's arm with his sword once, but it
didn't take long to see that the Warrior
Princess was the better fighter in close combat-
-particularly when she was pissed off.

"You should have stayed out of my business!"
Jett growled, swinging wide with his sword.

"You should have stayed in prison," Xena
answered coolly, as she spun low to avoid the
blade, then jumped up with a flying kick that
sent Jett staggering back toward Autolycus. The
thief couldn't resist getting in one good blow
himself, with opportunity presentitseltself like
that. He swung Gabby's staff and slammed Jett in
the side of the head with it. The assassin
landed with a heavy thud on the ground moments
later, knocked out cold.

"Well," Xena smirked, "that wasn't so hard."

"Hah! With you around, maybe," Autolycus
replied, rubbing his side, which was smarting
still from his earlier one-on-one with Jett.

"Here--" Joxer tossed Autolycus the rope he'd
cut away from Gabrielle. The thief quickly went
to work tying Jett's hands and feet together.

Xena ran over to check Gabrielle, who didn't
seem too steady on her feet. The bard was
hanging onto Joxer for balance and looked ready
to pass out. "Are you all right, Gabrielle?"

"He...I think he drugged me
with...something...taking a while to wear
off..." she answered slowly.

Autolycus offered, "Xena, why don't you find
someone to check her out, and take care of that
wound on your arm while you're at it. Joxer and
I can bring Jett in to the authorities. I
suspect the local law enforcement won't be too
happy to know they've had an escaped prisoner
from Miramar running the streets during the
festival."

"I'm sure you're rightXenaXena answered, taking
the wobbly Gabriellem Jom Joxer and heading for
the door. "Okay. We'll catch up with you later."

Autolycus looked up at Joxer after she left and
said, "You don't have a problem with bringing
Jett in, do you? I mean, he's family and
all...if you want to just leave him here..."

Joxer shook his head, gazing down wearily at his
brother. "I don't owe him anything, family or
not. I don't know if prison will do him any
good, or if he'll stay locked up any longer this
time than the last. But after everything he's
done, it's what he deserves."

* * * * *

The authorities were more than willing to take
in the still unconscious assassin, for word had
already spread from Miramar that he was on the
loose and was a wanted man.

"We ain't got the manpower to spare to escort
him back there 'till after the festival, but it
don't look like he's gonna be too much trouble,"
the warden of the prison told them.

"Well, don't underestimate him--he's already
caused more than enough trouble for some of us
since he escaped the last time," Autolycus
warned.

"Yeah yeah," the warden dismissed. "We'll keep
that in mind."

Autolycus had his doubts that he would, but he
wasn't about to argue the matter. The sooner he
got away from institutions of the law himself,
the happier he generally was. His face was
plastered on enough wanted parchments across the
country and he didn't like taking chances that
someone might recognize him if he hung around
for too long.

With Jett disposed of, a quick search for Xena
and Gabrielle commenced. The two men soon found
them at a healer's establishment, not far from
where Jett had been hiding. Both women were
doing fine--Gabrielle was still out-of-it, but
resting and taking medicine that would help
clear her system of remaining toxins; Xena's
wound had been cleaned and dressed, and turned
out not to even need any stitches. While they
were there, Joxer insisted on Autolycus getting
his own injuries examined, though they turned
out to be nothing more than minor bruises and a
few cuts that were quickly cleaned up.

"I'm going to stay here with Gabrielle tonight,
to make sure she's going to be all right," Xena
said. "Thanks, both of you, for watching out for
her while I wasn't here."

Joxer wanted to protest that if he'd done a
better job of it, Jett wouldn't have had the
chance to do anything to her, but Autolycus
spoke first. "Don't mention it; all in a day's
work. Well, I think we'll be leaving you two to
catch up and get some rest."

They all said their good-byes and made plans to
meet the next night for the awards ceremony. The
two men stepped outside, and Autolycus breathed
a deep sigh of relief. "Man, has this been a
day."

"A day and then some," Joxer agreed. "So... what
now?"

"Good question." The thief turned to Joxer, and
took a step closer to him. "As I recall, there
was something I said I wouldn't mind doing for
the rest of the day."

"Oh yeah...I think I remember something about
that," Joxer answered. "But I think you'd better
remind me of exactly what you had in mind."

Autolycus responded with a smile that--despite
his swelling eye and other bruises--was still a
sight to make Joxer feel dizzy with longing.
"Remind you, huh?" the thief replied, reaching
up to touch Joxer's cheek. "Well, does this ring
any bells?"

The searing kiss that followed was a welcome
reminder, indeed. Not necessarily of Auto's
earlier wish, but of everything that had come
before then, everything that made Autolycus so
special to him. It washed away the bitter taste
of the past few days, making the things which
had haunted and worried him all that time fade
away.

Autolycus pulled back slightly, watching Joxer
with an expectant smile. "Yeah, that definitely
rang a few...bells," Joxer told him, unable to
keep a grin off his own lips.

"So, you ready to blow this joint? I've got a
little something arranged I think you'll
appreciate."

"What's that?"

"You'll see. Wouldn't want to spoil the
surprise," Auto told him. "Come on, with these
mobs all around town it might take us a while to
get there."

Autolycus led the way then across town, keeping
as brisk a pace as possible through the still
thick crowds. They were nearly through the
marketplace when Joxer came to a sudden halt,
jerking Autolycus to a stop as well as he
grabbed the thief's hand.

"Hey!"

"Hold up, I want to check something out," Joxer
said as he started walking toward one merchant's
cart.

"What?" the thief grumbled, not sounding happy
about the diversion from his plans. Joxer
ignored him as his eyes roved over the
impressive array of musical instruments the
vendor had on display. The quality and condition
of merchandise varied, but there was one
instrument that had caught Joxer's attention
from afar, almost demanding that he get a closer
look at it. Up close, it was even more
captivating to his eyes. He carefully picked up
the finely-crafted lute, finding it extremely
light in his hands.

"Easy with that, buddy, that there's one of my
best," the portly vendor warned Joxer.

"I can see that," he answered reverently,
lightly plucking the strings. Though slightly
out of tune, he could tell the quality of the
sound was wonderful. He hadn't seen such fine
craftsmanship in a musical instrument in a long
time. "How much do you want for it?" he was
quick to ask.

"Eighty dinars."

"Eighty? Are you serious?!"

"I told ya, she's one of my best. You want
quality, you got to pay for it. You don't want
to pay, I got cheaper models but they ain't
gonna sound that sweet."

The vendor was momentarily distracted by someone
trying to pay for a pair of drumsticks.
Autolycus whispered to Joxer, "You want it, I'll
come back later and get it for you."

"You mean, steal it."

"Well, duh!"

Joxer didn't want to steal it. He wanted to
buy it, out of respect for the artisan who had
obviously put many loving hours into its
construction. "I'll give you fifty for it," he
told the vendor.

"Fifty?! Don't be absurd. You know they're
chargin' me fifty dinars just to park my cart
here every day for this damn festival? Offer me
seventy-five, and maybe I don't laugh your ass
out of town."

"Okay...maybe it's worth sixtnarsnars. That's
all I have," Joxer added, which was the truth.

"Seventy's my best offer, and that's only 'cause
I'd rather sell 'er than lug 'er back home with
the rest of this stuff at the end of this week.
Come back when you can cough up the extra
dinars."

Damn. Sixty really was all the money he had-
-enough and then some to buy any ordinary
instrument, but one like this... Ruefully he ran
his fingers over the strings once more,
wondering how he'd come up with the extra money
before the vendor sold the wonderful instrument
to someone else...

"Here!" Autolycus shoved a hefty pouch of coins
into his hands. "Take ten dinars so we can get
out of here already."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I don't want to have to hear you
going on and on about this thing for the next
few days if you don't buy it now."

Joxer quickly counted out ten dinars from the
pouch, and added it to his sixty. He felt
positively giddy as he handed over the money and
held onto his new instrument, waiting for the
wary merchant to double-check the amount of
payment.

"All right, enjoy it, fella."

"I will!" Joxer shouted back as Autolycus was
already pulling him away. "Gee, thanks, Auto!
Where did you get all that money anyway?" The
thief usually traveled light on cash--
considering he generally stole what he needed.

"Oh, I sort of came across it," he answered
distractedly.

Short moments later, a voice could be heard over
the crowd, shouting, "My money! Someone just
told all my money!"

"Autolycus..."

"Look, can we get a move on it already?" the
thief insisted, picking up his pace and grabbing
Joxer by the arm.

Joxer shook his head in dismay, but then just
had to smile. There were some things about
Autolycus that never changed. Joxer supposed he
wouldn't have him any other way.

* * * * *