Forever Rising Phoenix
39. Chapter Thirty Nine: Where The Truth Lies, Part Two
Hello world and my wonderful readers! Part Two of this saga is finally here! This chapter is more emotional in my opinion with many sad revelations on both sides, we also find out how in depth Delilah's rising career was, she really had done a lot more than she let up, it sounded like she was close to achieving her dreams before the apocalypse, maybe she's proud and didn't want to brag?
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NOR HAVE ANY AFFILIATIONS WITH THE WALKING DEAD FRANCHISE. ALL PROPERTIES OWNED BY FRANK DARABONT AND AMC (TELEVISION SERIES), ROBERT KIRKMAN AND TONY MOORE (COMIC BOOK SERIES), RESPECTIVELY. I ONLY OWN MY OWN ORIGINAL IDEAS AND CHARACTERS.
Chapter Thirty Nine: Where The Truth Lies, Part Two
"Of course I do. He went back to you every single time, no matter what you did. It should've been me. I was the one that loved him long before you did and loved him more than you ever could. You were getting in the way of my happiness and had to be eliminated, except even when you weren't around, Billy still wanted you over me." Christine brought her hand to her chest, and something glistening immediately caught Rick's eye. It was a gold animal shaped piece of jewelry that was adorned with bright stones. It didn't take long for Delilah to notice and go wide eyed, forgetting everything that her sister had just admitted.
"Where did you get that?"
"Get what?" Christine looked down at the ring and shrugged. "Oh, this? I found it, it's just like Jessica's."
"Christine, don't." She turned around and looked at Billy, who shook his head, giving her a stern look. Everybody else could sense that it was something being hidden. "I'll give you a chance to come clean."
"Jennifer, not Jessica. That's not a replica, it's her actual ring."
Christine was still lying and Billy obviously knew it. "No, Delilah. I told you, I found it in a pawn shop." Her nostrils inhaled sharply, which had always been an indicator for whenever she was lying.
"I'm begging you not to do this."
The more Christine denied, the more upset Delilah became. "Yes, Christine, it is Jennifer's ring because one ruby eye is bigger than the other. Where did you get it?! Don't lie to me anymore than you have! I want to know right now, tell me right now! Where did you get that ring?!"
"Delilah, she's dead." Billy interrupted, watching hey eyes further widen.
"What? You found her?" Delilah felt the color draining from her face as she watched him nod solemnly.
"Yes, we did. Jennifer was holed up at a Costco right outside of Austin, we were there getting more supplies since we lost the truck."
"And? What did she say happened to your family?"
"She didn't know, she was sleeping in the basement bedroom. When she woke up, she went downstairs to find that they were all turned and coming after her. Jennifer was only able to grab her backpack and had to use the zip line from the basement to the kid's tree house to get out of there. When there was a walker inside the tree house, she fell into the duck pond and her satcoms were destroyed, which is why she couldn't contact us. She had to hotwire Tommy's van, it made it up to a mile before the Costco. Jennifer seemed pretty freaked and said that there were more than 30 walkers when she left."
Tommy was the husband of Kayla, Billy's third older sister. The Steverson family was a rather large one, with as close to as many members as the Kennedys spread out all over the country, but only the ones in Texas stayed at the ranch when the outbreak started. Delilah loved each and every one of them as if they were her blood relatives, and they for her. Tommy and Kayla were kind of an older version of herself and Billy, since there was only a ten year age difference between the couples. She even coached their daughters Sadie Belle and Anna in beauty pageants, which resulted in Delilah and Kayla having a side business where Delilah coached kids via Skype and did their makeup at pageants when she could, Kayla designed costumes for them. They had tried to get Christine in on it to be the spray tanner and do hair, but she refused. The images of their walker turned forms still haunted her, of what was left of the Steverson clan when they arrived. Tommy and Kayla, Billy's three brothers Robert, Michael, and Kyle, his other sisters Brooke, Michelle, and Rebecca, their seven spouses, Billy's parents Sharon and Vance, not to mention Mamie and Papie, Vance's brother Cletus and his wife Jane, and Billy's ten nieces and nephews, which included Anna, Sadie Belle, and Kyle's son Archie. Billy kept speaking, diverting Delilah away from that terrible day.
"Maybe some ended it, maybe some of them left to find someplace better. We took her with us to the Four Seasons in Dallas where there was a refuge group."
"Hmm. What do you know? My suggestion was accurate." Delilah shook her head and laughed to herself before resuming the conversation. "Continue. What did you tell her happened to me? Was it the same story you told Carol and the others?"
"We told her you died when walkers spontaneously swarmed the house. She was devastated, cried all the way to Dallas and then some." Christine rolled her eyes, she never really cared for Jennifer. "We changed our names to start a new life and she understood that. It's the same story we told Carol and Scott."
Billy continued, knowing that this was the part Delilah would want to hear. "We all stayed there for a long time. It wasn't until April, a few days before the hotel was raided, that she realized it was a lie. Her suspicions of why the twins looked so much like me were confirmed, and after putting two and two together, she figured out that I was somehow lured and manipulated by Christine to abandon you."
"She beat it out of me. Fucking bitch." Christine mumbled under her breath.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET THE MAN TALK!" Madison loudly scolded, startling her a little bit before all eyes were back on Billy again.
"When she didn't do much to deny it and told her the story, Jennifer left in a rage. I had just come back from a supply run and saw her leave, and I had a feeling that's what upset her."
THE CORNER OF ELM STREET AND MAIN STREET, DOWNTOWN DALLAS, TEXAS, APRIL 1ST, 2012, 5:00 PM
"Jennifer, wait!" Billy ran after his ex girlfriend as she took off down the street, whom he had been chasing for almost two blocks. The streets of Downtown Dallas were filled with abandon cars, broken shop windows, missing doors, and debris everywhere. The weather was just as crummy, being foggy and overcast with the sun barely peeking through, exactly how it was a year ago today. "Please stop, we have to discuss this!"
"Fuck off, Billy! You're a fucking asshole for what you did! There is nothing to talk about!" Jennifer picked up the pace, she didn't want to hear a word he had to say nor did she want to see his face. What that bitch Christine confirmed was still reeling in her head. Billy picking her over Delilah and then going along with abandoning her, killing and placing a dead deer in front of the house to attract flesh eaters?! That was not the Billy that she knew, and she was downright disgusted with him. He started walking faster to catch up.
"She tricked me into it! Don't you think I have been regretting what I did? Today is the one year anniversary. I wasn't out on a run, I was out screaming and crying, I'm a heartbroken mess!"
"Yeah, well, you broke your own damn heart, Billy! Why didn't you stop her?" She stopped and turned around, they were right above a little knoll just off of Main Street with knee-high grass and vines that was used as a farmer's market on weekends before the outbreak. Jennifer still had an angry stare on her face, but it was now between anger and annoyance. "I had a feeling something wasn't right when Christine said that Delilah's dying wish was for her to be with you, I wrote it off and figured the tragedy somehow brought you two together. Except those twins are your spitting image and I remembered not only how she always felt about you, which started long before we dated, but how Delilah always said she treated her. Delilah was never going to give you up, so that wicked bitch had to intervene. Christine is the devil incarnate, the ultimate evil, you just let yourself be taken, you did nothing to try and stop it."
Billy became even more distraught, his heart was hurting even more now to match the pain on his face and in his eyes. "I tried, I should have tried harder, but I couldn't stop her! She threatened to kill herself with the baby, and I couldn't live with myself if that happened."
"Christine is a bullshit artist if I ever saw one! Even when we were dating, I didn't like her."
"I know. Look, please just hear me out. I think I concluded the reason why this all happened."
She heavily sighed and shrugged. "Fine, lay it on me, I've got all the time in the world to hear whatever bullshit you're gonna spew, but don't think I'm going to believe it."
Billy took a deep breath. "Ok, do you remember Harry's Christmas Party before the apocalypse?"
Jennifer nodded. "Yeah, what about it?"
"That's when we hooked up. I was hammered drunk and she was wearing this dress of Delilah's, and I just thought Christine was her."
"Couldn't you feel that it wasn't Delilah? There's like a twenty to thirty pound difference there." Jennifer always told it like it was, and that was the truth.
He did everything to stifle a laugh and shook his head. "When I woke up and saw who it really was, I was well aware of the mistake that I had made. I tried to let Christine down as easily as I could before going straight to their house and begged Delilah to take me back, we had broken up two weeks prior to all this happening."
Her facial expression softened ever so slightly. "Okay, so what went wrong besides that you hooked up with her sister? You figured this would never get out, right?"
Billy nodded. "Yeah, I did, but then after Delilah's birthday, Christine told me she was pregnant and that she wanted to keep the baby. I told her that I'd pay for her to get rid of it at one of the best OBGYN's in LA, and that's when she threatened to kill herself and then she fooled me into believing so many things. That Delilah was cheating on me with Angelo, that she was only marrying me for my money, that she didn't want kids, that she was secretly a lesbian. I knew I should've just asked Delilah about all this, but Christine told me if I went and confronted her that she would get violent. At the time it was possible, considering all the medication she was on, but I should've known better. Please, after everything we've been through, I am begging you to please give me a chance to explain how this happened."
Jennifer threw her backpack to the ground and folded her arms across her chest. "How could you believe any of what she said?! Delilah a lesbian?! She was the most boy crazy girl that I ever met! God, where did Christine come up with this stupid shit, some moronic soap opera or reality show?"
"Delilah and I were fighting a lot, things got out-of-control. I was really weak and vulnerable and Christine got me. I actually thought that I loved her more than Delilah, but now I know that that's not even possible. She lied and manipulated me and turned me into something I'm not, and I lost the love of my life because of it. No offense."
"None taken, there's somebody for everybody, we just weren't that somebody for each other. So, you said you figured out the reason this all happened, what is it? How did you allow yourself to become so passive and be so easily manipulated by that insane self centered bitch?" She huffed, fixing her dirty blonde caramel hair from the loose bun it was in and making it into a semi tight ponytail, the hair out of her steel colored wide set eyes.
Jennifer had hit the nail on the head with her words. "I take full responsibility for what I did, but I wasn't exactly cognitive, kind of beyond choice more or less. I think Christine knew that and used it to her advantage." Billy didn't want to reveal his nasty little secret, he hadn't told anybody before the outbreak, not even Delilah because he didn't want to upset her. With his entire family and now Delilah gone, Jennifer was the last connection he had to any type of a real friendship or life before the world died. They had their problems in the past, but she was a true friend and he knew he could confide in her, as she with him.
Jennifer's gaze was quizzical, but she could tell Billy wasn't lying. Even though their own romantic relationship hadn't worked out and there were a few mishaps, she still cared about him deeply, he was all the family she had left. "What was it?"
Neither one of them had even bothered to check down the knoll to see if there was anything there, nor did they hear the gurgling sound of a walker crawling up.
"For the past almost two years I have been-" He was stopped mid-sentence when he saw a pair of hands rising up from the top of the knoll and panicked. "Jennifer, look out! Below you!"
She looked all over, frantic and confused, but was unable to catch his warning in time. The walker had grabbed her by the ankles and pulled her down to get a bite. Jennifer screamed as she lost her balance and went falling backwards, tumbling down the knoll. Luckily, her fall was hard enough that it had killed the first walker, but it hadn't prevented the four that were surrounding her by the time she stopped rolling. Billy was right behind her, but once again, it was too late. Two walkers took a deep bite into her hips, another one tried to bite into her left calf but couldn't get through her jeans, and the last one sunk it's decayed teeth into her neck. Jennifer let out a blood curdling scream and tried to push them off of her as Billy shot them all in the head, both of them thankful that he had a gun silencer to prevent any more walkers from hearing.
"Oh, my God! Jennifer!" He ran up to her, seeing her bleeding profusely, and swept her up in his arms, running up the knoll the best he could. She was coughing violently and trembling in his arms. He set her down on the sidewalk and took his shirt off. Jennifer was secretly grateful that the last image she saw before she died was of Billy's incredible abs, but she waved her hand away as he wrapped it around her neck to stop the bleeding.
"No, it's not worth it, just listen to me."
He shook his head. "No, I'm not letting you die! Come on," Billy bent down and wrapped her arm around his neck. "We have to get back to the hotel, both Dr. Scott and Dr. Ray will take care of you."
"Billy, put me down. It's too late and I accept that. I don't have much time and I need you to hear me."
"What is it?" He obliged with her dying wishes as she kept coughing up blood, which soaked through the wrapped shirt with it's minimal compression.
"Billy, you did something horrible, but you're a good person deep down. You're one of my best friends and I love you."
He nodded, they both had tears in their eyes. "You're one of mine also, more than a friend, you're like another sister, and I love you, too."
She weakly gripped his hand on the back of her head. "Delilah is an incredibly strong girl. Ever since I found out the news, I've had this feeling that it wasn't true and that she could still be alive somewhere out there. Billy, what we had was great, but Delilah loved you more than I ever did. You'll regret leaving her." Jennifer smiled the best she could and let her tears fall freely to join Billy's already falling tears.
"I know, and I already do, sweetheart. Don't try to talk too much, just rest."
"Don't try, I'm signing off. It's so cold, now I know what Leo felt like in Titanic." They both let out a short laugh through the tears, Billy seeing the low dimples in what would be her final smile. "The fact that you know what you did was wrong shows that you still have a heart, you're on the right track for God's forgiveness. If you're lucky, your path will cross one day with Delilah's and you'll know what to do, you'll-"
*BANG!*
Before she could finish, a loud sound emitted through the air and her head went snapping back, officially killing her. The sound even startled Billy, and he turned around to see Christine standing there with a gun and a nasty look on her face.
"That's what you get for calling me a bitch, bitch." Her statement had indicated that she had heard their entire conversation. Billy's face turned up into a snarl as he laid the now dead Jennifer down and walked up to Christine, her nasty look had been upgraded to a smirk. "I bet your precious little Jennifer didn't tell you that she beat the truth out of me, huh?"
He stared down at her, his anger quickly rising. "You deserved it. That should have been you instead of her, it should have been you instead of Delilah. You single handedly destroyed my life!"
Christine let out a menacing laugh. "Don't be so mellow dramatic, now you're stuck with me for good because I'm all you've got." She walked over and slung Jennifer's backpack on her shoulder, but something caught her eye as she made her way back to Billy. It was Jennifer's three fingered gold mockingjay bird ring with ruby eyes, the ring that Delilah had been whining about after killing everybody at Steverson Ranch. A smile spread across her lips as she grabbed Jennifer's limp hand and snatched the ring off her cold fingers. "Finder's keepers, loser's weepers." Christine wiped the ring off on her shirt and put it on her fingers as she looked down at Jennifer. "Buh-bye, Jennifer. Nice to have known you." Even though she knew that Jennifer was officially dead, Christine raised her foot and stomped on her face as hard as she could before walking ahead of Billy. "Come on, we need to head home. This place is deserted, but who knows if those freaks heard the shot."
Billy still had a grim look on his face. "Karma will get the best of you, Christine Daltrey, when you least expect it."
She turned around, slightly cringing, for those exact same words had been directed at her once before. "Not even close, and if it does, I've got my gloves laced up and ready to knock it out of the ring." Christine kept walking.
Billy let more tears fall and watched until Christine turned the corner to go back to the hotel. Jennifer was gone, he was now all alone. Although he loved the twins, they were his children, they were unwanted. They should have been his kids with Delilah, but thanks to him, that would never be happening. He had to figure out a plan to get the three of them away from Christine, but didn't know if he could do it alone. Billy walked over and picked up Jennifer's lifeless body in his arms. "I'm not going to leave you like this, you're getting a proper burial. I'm so sorry, Jennifer. I let you down, I let Delilah down, I let us all down." He hoisted her up and rose to his feet as he made his way back home. For the second year in a row, this date had been one of an extreme loss. April first was cruel, he didn't know if things would change by the next April first, or else he wouldn't want to be around.
"That's how she died. Dr. Scott and his dad Dr. Ray cremated her, we have Jennifer's ashes with us."
Delilah knew her eyes were brimming with tears over the confirmation that her second best friend was dead and had passed in such a horrible manner. A single teardrop fell down her cheek, but she brushed it away. She felt someone grab her hand, not even having to turn around to know it was Rick. His own heart was breaking for her, it made him think of how they all thought Sophia could still be alive. It was hard to believe that in a few hours he had gone from messing around in the locker room to being involved in this confrontation. More than anything, Rick wanted this conversation to end and for this day to be over with so he could comfort his Delilah. Things had become overwhelming for all of them, but for Delilah especially, and nobody thought that the day would take this turn of events when they awoke this morning.
"Who's Jennifer?" Tara asked, breaking the silence.
Billy looked over at her. "My ex-girlfriend before Delilah."
"And one of my best friends." She cleared her throat, trying to prevent herself from further crying, and knew that this was the right time to reveal one of her secrets. "While we're on the subject, there's something I should tell you. Angelo and his parents did not leave the country. I went over to his house one day in June, during one of our many breakups. I decided that I was done with you for good and that he was the one that I wanted to be with instead. He had already confessed his love for me not too long after we got engaged, and I rejected him. I was going over there to surprise him with not only the final cut DVD of the choreography we did for that movie, but with the reciprocation of my feelings as well. When I arrived, the door was open. I walked in on him eating his parents. He had somehow been turned into a nombie, he saw me and came charging over, I was the newest source of food, and I didn't have a choice. I killed him."
Now both Christine and Billy looked overcome, the former finally showing genuine sadness while the latter spoke up.
"What? How?" Neither one of them could believe their ears at what Delilah had just confessed, as were the others.
"Remember that hideous Augustus Caesar head mold that I couldn't stand? I grabbed it and hit him repeatedly until he stopped. Then, I buried the three of them in the backyard. I had always had problems before this, but having to kill him really kick started my depression."
"That's how he died?" Beth asked, to which Delilah nodded.
"Yes."
Christine spoke next. "Why didn't you say anything?" Despite the fact that she couldn't stand Delilah and anybody associated with her, she had always liked Angelo. He was a good boy that she watched grow into a good young man, and she hoped that Delilah would end up with him so she could have Billy to herself.
"Who was going to believe me? Nobody. If I said anything, I was at risk for either being charged with manslaughter, second-degree murder, or being sent back to that shit hole of a hospital." Delilah knew that the others were staring at her inquisitively. She turned around and faced them. "I was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital when I was 16 years old. I've been on numerous medications since I was eight years old and have received pretty much every diagnosis in the DSM-IV. I'm sorry I didn't tell any of you sooner, it's a very painful part of my past, and one that I chose to forget. With that being said, it's made me who I am today, and you all know who I am today. So, I hope you can understand and forgive me like Rick did."
Everybody seemed kind of stunned except the three people that already knew. The others looked over at Rick, who nodded, indicating that it was nothing to worry about. Glenn was the first to speak up.
"It's ok, Delilah. We all have a past."
Maggie nodded. "It doesn't matter, because we do know who you really are now."
"Yeah, you've done so much good, don't worry yourself." Carl added, patting her on the shoulder.
Delilah felt relieved and thankful that they had forgiven her so quickly, proving that they were genuine and believed in her. "Thank you, I appreciate that, it means so much to me." She smiled warmly at them, and back at her lover, who returned the smile, before facing Billy and Christine again.
"Is that why you wouldn't come to Texas with us?"
Christine nodded. "Yes."
"Did Mom know about it? Does Mom even know what you did to me?"
"No, she didn't. Only Billy and I knew. We haven't been able to reach her."
"Somebody must have stolen her satcoms or something." Billy added.
"She's still alive, I know she is." Delilah glanced over at her first love, the words she was about to say were painful to her, but were honest overall. "Bill, if you came and told me how you felt, I would have been upset, but I also would have been understanding. You can force somebody to stay but you can't force them to love you back. I did love you, with all my heart. You were my world, I would have followed you anywhere."
The look on her face further distressed him, all the pain he had put her through, Billy's own heart was breaking, which is why he had to confess his long kept secret. "Delilah, I had no idea what I was doing, with any of this. I thought I loved her but my mind was playing tricks on me, and she only made it worse."
"Yes, you did."
"No, not really."
"We're all adults here, just man up and stop lying."
"My judgments and actions were impaired, I was addicted to anti-depressants."
Billy's statement stunned Delilah, it showed in her face. "What? Are you joking?" He had to have been joking, why else would he take medication?
He shook his head. "No, I'm not."
Delilah found herself stammering, his pronouncement had sent her mind into a 360 turn.
"When? How? What? Why didn't I know?"
Billy took a deep breath. "I was on Effexor, Dr. Heffernan prescribed 225mg a day for anxiety disorder. It helped, but I didn't realize that how I was acting was due to side effects from the medication, I figured it was just me. Dr. Heffernan told me it was fine to take a dose or two more at my own leisure throughout the day, tripling it up to 675 mg. It's not an excuse, and it wasn't to get high, it was to numb the pain and I couldn't stop myself, I was in over my head."
It all started coming back to Delilah as she thought everything over. All the signs were there and she had been completely oblivious. Billy had been irritable and more aggressive, constantly tired from insomnia, when he did sleep he had nightmares and strange dreams, having memory problems, some anxiety attacks, she remembered going weeks at a time without hearing from or seeing him. He had stopped playing basketball as frequently as he used to, or writing songs or playing guitar, and started going to raves with Jennifer, getting hostile when Delilah refused to attend. He complained of chest pains and often times felt nauseous with headaches, and he also had developed erectile dysfunction, which lead to difficulty having an orgasm and decreased his overall libido, the combination of those causing more frustrations for him. Every time she asked him what was wrong, he brushed her off and she couldn't get through to him, leading to another fight and sometimes breakup. She figured he was really stressed with the wedding and work and that he would overcome it, or that it was genetics or the flu and kept telling him to get to the doctor's office. How could I have been so stupid that I didn't realize any of this?! These were most of the symptoms I had, why didn't I do anything to stop this?! The termites of guilt began eating away at her psyche of how naïve and clueless she had been. Delilah looked over at Christine.
"Did you know about this?"
"Not until after the twins were born, his backpack was full of them. They finally ran out in May, but they stopped working long before that, because he was so isolated from me. Him going through withdrawal was a nightmare in itself, I thought he was going to die." Christine kind of wished he was still on them, because when he was, all he saw was her and what she wanted him to see. Now, all he saw was the truth and who she really was.
Everybody around the three of them was bewildered to say the least. It had been the last thing they ever saw coming from Billy, but everything started adding up and making more sense. Christine had to have known that he was on them, it made him susceptible to being manipulated easier. Tara empathized with him immediately, for it had been more or less the same ordeal that she had went through with The Governor. Rick was starting to feel a little pity towards Billy's weakness, as did Carl and the rest of them, for they all saw what he really was, and that was a broken man.
Delilah was still flabbergasted, not even realizing that she had walked up closer to him with sorrow in her eyes. The sorrow evolved into anger and she slapped him across the face so hard it made his head turn to the left with a loud smacking sound, causing Christine and Beth to gasp. "You fucker! What the hell is wrong with you?! Why did you do something like that, so fucking idiotic and dangerous?! And Dr. Heffernan was a fucking quack, don't you remember from when I went to her? For crissakes, she had her damn medical license revoked two months before the outbreak for over prescribing medication! Didn't you read the news?"
The intensity of the slap had actually brought tears to his green blue eyes, amongst other things, making them shine as a red palm imprint flushed on his face. "Delilah, I didn't know what to do. I was just as much of a mess as you were. By the time the story broke about Dr. Heffernan, I had more than enough to last me for the next year, I had been getting triple the prescriptions and filling them at different pharmacies."
"I had reasons, you didn't have to kill your best friend! You didn't endure the other traumas I did, either! You're lucky you're still alive, you could have had a heart attack and died!" She felt herself tense up at the thoughts of how worse things could have ended up being than what they currently were and knew that angry tears were wanting to form.
"I had severe anxiety and I was getting depressed! I finally understood why you kept wanting to go off them, you get too dependent. In my case, I became too addicted and it morphed into something bigger than my body could handle."
"This is all your fault, you ruined our relationship, you ruined our lives! Everything we ever wanted and dreamed of was taken away from us, and it's all because of you!" She felt her heart beating violently inside her chest and heard it ringing in her ears.
"I wanted to kill myself, especially after what happened to you, but I couldn't let my child down before they came into the world by leaving them without a father. I tried to stop her, Chickpea, I did. "I'm sorry" will never be enough, but I really am, for all of this. I was a fool to ever leave you behind, I deserve everything you're giving me, and I'm not just saying that to take the easy way out. Every action and word and insult hurled my way, I deserve it. I know that the damage is done, and that kills me. It kills me that I fucked everything up big time between us and how it can't be fixed. I have to live out the rest of my life suffering the consequences, and it's nobody's fault but mine."
Just hearing him say "my child" and knowing that it wasn't her kid with him made Delilah that much more infuriated, but she felt her scowl fading into more of a sad frown, her grief almost matching Billy's. "Bab-" For a moment, she lost sight of everything and almost called him "Babeadee", but stopped herself in her tracks. Delilah wanted to hug and console him like he had done for her so many times when she was on those medications or having anxiety attacks, taking her in his arms and telling her it would be ok, but it hadn't. Things were far from ok, they were in a haze, and it was unsure if things would ever be clear again.
The others had noticed that she was about to call him something besides his name, and the sinking feeling Rick already had in his stomach went even deeper over Billy's words and Delilah's actions, making him even more worried that he could lose her to Billy.
Delilah took a deep breath. "Bill, while you did play a big part in this, after hearing your side, I guess I understand a bit more how this happened. I know what it's like to go through medication side effects and how those pills can warp you into something unrecognizable. I can see that your remorse is sincere, but at the same time, you're taking on what should be somebody else's, also. There's still questions that remain unanswered." She turned back to Christine. "Why did you hate me to the point of wanting me dead?"
Christine found herself hesitating as she was being watched, a gloomy look taking over where the smirk had left off, knowing that she had to reveal every reason why she was so jealous of her sister. "Everything about you was big. Who was I, really? You were a stunningly gorgeous, ultra glamorous beauty queen and super smart and multi-talented, kind to everybody Disney Princess. The world was at your feet with your big perfect dimpled smile, your big charming personality, and your big natural boobs. All of that made you a constant threat to everybody wherever you went, including me, because you had an on switch that would never turn off! I hoped you stayed chubby with picked skin forever so it would be my turn, but not even that lasted for long. You were already famous in the skating and dance world with your wins and in the beauty pageant world, why not take the rest by storm, too? When you lost Miss Teen USA, it was a huge upset, but it caused your career to catapult, all the event hosting at the clubs and the photo shoots, movie premieres, music videos, the screen tests for Disney, people stopping you on the street for your autograph, the Barbra Walters interview, let's not forget what a hit you were overseas. Australia, Japan, Barcelona, Rome, Amsterdam, Wales, and your caburlesque charity events back in the mainland like you were the female Neil Patrick Harris. You were an inch to two inches shorter than average modeling height and you were still selected for runway shows and ad campaigns. You freaking lost the competition and it didn't matter, it's like you were America's sweetheart, and for you, all that glittered was gold, because only your inner circle knew what you were like when the lights went down and the cameras turned off. I could have exposed you so many times, but I figured the bottom would fall out eventually, except you just kept getting bigger and bigger. You also had Billy, who I loved long before you knew he existed, and you took him from me without any consideration of my feelings at all. He was and still is as equally crazy about you as the day you first met on the basketball court. When you were around, no other girls existed. You two were like the Blair and Chuck or Sam and Diane of our generation, or JFK and Jackie O. Jennifer went through hell and back trying to break you up, and what happened? She became your best friend. Even when people hated you, they loved you, and who was I? I was your makeup artist, your hair stylist, your spray tanner, the "unidentified friend" and "step to the side, you're blocking the shot.", nothing bigger than part of your entourage and nothing more than just the help. I was the whore that fucked guys to get attention. When you were around, nobody noticed me." She felt her chest tense up from her declaration, knowing she had just done Delilah a huge favor by coming clean. Everybody else wasn't sure to feel disgusted over her envy or pity over her self inflicted isolation.
Delilah shook her head and folded her arms across her chest, feeling her voice crack slightly as she spoke. "That is not true. There were things you were good at. You always did my hair and makeup flawlessly, you were part of the reason I was so interested in makeup design. I'll never be as good in math as you are or make as good of cocktails as you can. Despite how much of a conniving bitch you were to me, I always defended you no matter what you did, telling people not to talk that way about my sister because they didn't really know you. Even when you were holding me back in the house that day, I told you that you could have Bill, I was willing to sacrifice my love for your happiness to spare my life. I will not apologize for any of my accomplishments. Maybe if Bill did fall for you instead, we wouldn't be in this mess, but again, I will not apologize for that, either." She really was something. Even after all was said and done, Delilah still highlighted good qualities Christine had and how she wanted them to be closer. She wasn't even going to feed in and mention all the stuff Christine had said about her career.
Billy looked over at Delilah, completely mystified over that revelation. "What? You did?" He was astonished and aghast that she would actually do something like that as he watched Delilah nod.
"Yes, I did, but not even that stopped her. All I ever wanted was my big sister, and all I ever got was a big monster."
"Where the hell was any of that going to get me? Nowhere important, that's where, and it's not just that. What I'm about to say kills me, because I hate owning up to anything and admitting to my faults." She took a deep breath before talking. "I shouldn't have done all the things that I did, treating you so horribly and resenting you just because you were more desired. I should have taken Mom up on her offer to send me to therapy and worked out my issues. I should have been a better role model for you instead of being so angry at the world. I should have tried to make something of myself and be happy with who I was instead of trying to be better than you or just as good as you. Lastly, I should have respected your relationship with Billy and found somebody else, I shouldn't have turned him against you for myself." Christine had tears in her eyes, but nobody could tell if they were real or not. This was not the first time Delilah or Billy had heard this speech, they had actually heard many different variations of it. She would keep to her word before reverting back to her old nasty habits, but maybe things were different now. Perhaps after so much time had passed, she had had a mature change of heart and was ready to take responsibility for her actions.
"I really did try to go back and get you. I regret leaving you, not as much as Billy does, but I do in my way. It was wrong of me, but does it really matter now? You're alive and it looks like you're doing just fine, so now I don't need to feel badly anymore." She let out a small smile and rubbed the tears away while Billy gave her an "Are you serious right now?" look.
Just as quickly as everybody started to wonder if she really meant it, it went away and they resumed their disgust. Carl rolled his eyes, Rick clicked his tongue, Glenn scoffed as Maggie and Madison shook their heads, Tara and Beth looked sickened as well, but Delilah felt it the most. Christine hadn't changed at all, she was just trying to save face, and she didn't learn a damn thing. Her sister was a heartless bitch through thick and thin, nothing would break that, and Delilah couldn't help but notice that not even once during her speech did Christine actually come out and say the words "I'm sorry".
Delilah shook her head, simply amazed, but forced herself to speak. "You're unbelievable, Chrissy. Eighteen months later and you still haven't comprehended the moral of the story. You took my fiance and tried to kill me instead of being an independent and strong mother for the children you didn't want. You're right, you should have poured your rage and frustrations into something to be the best you that you could be, but you didn't. I don't feel sorry for you, because you hold the keys to your destiny, and you obviously have no regrets with the road you chose or any remorse of the repercussions that stemmed from your egotistical actions. All those times that I told people they didn't know the real you, maybe it was me that didn't know the real you. I always thought you'd change, but you just got worse. Maybe I should have left you back in California, and just gone with Bill and Jennifer, instead of the two of us staying behind begging you to come to Texas. Maybe then Jennifer wouldn't have died. Let's face it and be honest, she wasn't even related to us and she was more of a sister to me than you have ever been in my whole life. Maybe Bill and I still would have been together, but I didn't leave you behind. I didn't want it on my conscious for the rest of my life that I selfishly left you to go off with my future husband, and at the end of the day, whether either one of us likes it, you are my family. We're blood, Christine, and it's the one thing we can't shake off and away from." She stepped back a little, looking at both Billy and Christine, knowing what she was about to admit would knock them flat on their asses, but it all came with realizing the growth she had obtained. "After hearing everything you both have revealed to me, all I have to say is this: Thank you."