The Boys From Tennessee

The Boys From Tennessee
Rating: R
Author: Chissy_Rose
Pairing:
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.

The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 38 (38/60)
Libby’s Opinion

Jack had walked back to the caves and put his backpack in his cave. He sat and ate lunch by himself, thinking about everything he had heard at the lagoon that morning. Peter and Sawyer’s confrontation had disturbed him. He hadn’t realized that Peter was having sex with new people. The fact that he and Kate had sex shocked him the most. He’d felt a strong attraction to Kate, but every time he had tried to get close to her, she had run away from him. He was growing tired of trying to have a close relationship with her. To find out she’d had sex with Peter who she really didn’t know well, had blown Jack’s mind totally. He went outside and sat out in the sun near the waterfall. He just wanted to feel the sun warm his body. He tried to clear his mind and not think about Kate. After about 20 minutes Libby came by and asked if she could join him. He couldn’t help letting out a soft sigh. He didn’t know if he felt up to talking with Libby or not. She just sat with him for a couple of minutes and didn’t talk. He was grateful for the time to shift gears. She finally asked Jack how he was doing, that he seemed stressed. They spoke quietly so no one else could overhear them.

Jack shook his head yes, “Yeah, I’m a little stressed right now. There’s always a lot going on here, and my relationships are more complicated right now too. So I’ve got stress in multiple areas.”

Libby nodded, “Are you talking about your relationship with Sawyer and Peter?”

Jack looked at her, “Well that’s part of what’s so complicated. Peter’s apparently taking on new lovers left and right. He’s got Sawyer and I both upset with him right now.”

Libby reminded Jack that Peter had told him he was promiscuous and that he took new lovers frequently and that he and Sawyer shouldn’t be surprised when he did. Jack shook his head yes, but somehow when Peter actually did it, it still surprised him he was actually doing that.

Libby paused a moment before speaking. “Jack, I want to talk with you some about Peter so you’ll have a better understanding of what’s going on with him and maybe be more accepting.” Jack nodded yes. “I’m not going to reveal anything to you that he’s said unless he’s told me he’s told you. I am going to talk about his diagnosis some since you’re also a doctor. It’s got everything to do with the way he is with you, Sawyer and everyone else. I’m planning on having this same conversation with Sawyer at some point.”

Jack said he hadn’t given too much thought to it although he knew Peter had been anxious and depressed and that his lack of sexual control went back to the years of abuse he had suffered.

Libby nodded, “He’s got Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder on top of the sexual and physical abuse he suffered for so many years. He could be a case study example, his symptoms are classic. He suffered for almost ten years of total control by his father and other men who chronically victimized him. He tries to cover up so much. He’s admitted to me that he has suicidal thoughts daily, but he says he doesn’t plan to act on it. I got him to agree to a suicide prevention contract with me. He’s got a tremendous amount of inhibited anger that he represses but I think he manifests in other ways. Things he won’t let himself remember directly, he’s having vivid nightmares about since he’s been on the island. I think he probably has some dissociative features and may have had depersonalization episodes when he was abused. He’s got a tremendous amount of helplessness, shame, and guilt and feels completely different from other people. The fact that he sought me out and then told you and Sawyer about his past was probably due in large part to the previous counseling he’d had and his awareness that he needed to let us know what was going on with him. It takes a lot for a survivor to think about their trauma because the feelings associated with the trauma are overwhelming.” Libby paused to think. “There are things we need to be aware of with Peter. He’s in his twenties, but he’s really sort of stuck in a teenager mode. His promiscuity is not atypical of people who have suffered a great deal of sexual abuse at an early age. He’s using it on several levels, acting out what’s happened to him earlier over and over again. It’s both a search for a rescuer and an isolating mechanism as it tends to break up whatever long term stable relationships he manages to develop. I think he’s consciously searching for lovers to dominate him and assume total power over him. He’s admitted to all of us he’s a masochist. His obsession with BDSM is tied in with all the ritualistic sexual and physical abuse his father put him through and he still sees that as the way to experience sex with men. He’s incorporated a lot of this into his lifestyle and his sexual identity. I’m not interested in the specifics of what he does with either of you but I’m asking both of you to watch it with him. He’s very vulnerable to both of you right now. He’d be compliant and probably let either of you abuse him to the point of torture, mutilation or maybe even death. I’m not talking about bruises or welts here. I’m talking about permanent physical problems. I know he might even ask or beg for it. You and Sawyer have to be strong and don’t let it get that far. I think you both care for him greatly so I’m asking you to let that guide you. I just wanted to give you some awareness of what he’s dealing with.”

Jack looked at her. “I’m hurt Libby that you thought you needed to tell me this. I care about him a great deal. I’d never do anything to permanently injure him.”

“I know Jack; I’m not saying you would. I just wanted you to know that professionally I think he would let things go that far. You and Sawyer have to be the ones that set the limits with him. Peter would let it get too extreme for his own good.” Libby put her hand on Jack’s shoulder, stood up giving him a sad little smile and walked off. Jack sat in the sun thinking about what Libby had said and wondering where Peter was at the moment.

Jack went back to his cave to straighten things up some and spread out his wet towel from his morning swim. He’d been working a while when he heard someone come into his cave and clear their throat. He turned around and saw that it was Peter. Peter was flushed and having a hard time giving Jack eye contact. They said hey to each other. Jack waited for Peter to talk first and he did.

“Are you still mad at me Jack? I’m sorry all this happened, but I told you and Sawyer upfront what I was like. Please don’t tell me to go away… I don’t think I could stand it.”

Jack could see his beautiful green eyes were moist and full. He thought about the things Libby had just talked to him about. It wasn’t like he hadn’t warned both of them. ‘I just wish it hadn’t been with Kate,’ he thought wistfully. He looked at Peter, “I’m not going to tell you to go away Peter. You know I love you. It just hurt me to hear about you and Kate, but I can see how she made that decision. She hasn’t wanted any real emotional ties the whole time she’s been on the island.”

Peter could see in Jack’s dark eyes that he’d forgiven him. Peter stood where he was with his arms crossed, transfixed like he was unsure what to do next. Jack watched Peter and thought there was something not quite right but he couldn’t put his finger on it. Jack gestured with both his hands for Peter to come to him. Peter didn’t hesitate. He went into Jack’s arms and hugged him tightly like he was afraid to let go. The intensity of Peter’s emotions was so strong at times that Jack felt swept up in them. Jack stepped back to look into Peter’s eyes and smile. He ran his hands slowly into Peter’s hair, kissing him and he stepped back against him, pressing his left leg between Peter’s. Peter gasped as he tried to push Jack away. Jack let him push back but held onto him fiercely.

“What the hell was that about? What’s wrong Peter???” Jack knew Peter was physically hurt and that he’d just hurt him again. Peter had blanched white. Peter was shaking his head no like he wasn’t going to tell Jack. Jack held onto him tightly, “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong or am I going to have to strip you and examine you? Because I will. You were in pain. Did Sawyer do something to you?” Peter looked away and tried to pull free. That was all the confirmation Jack needed. “What did he do to you Peter?”

“Let go of me Jack. I don’t wanna talk about it. I shouldn’t have come here.” Peter was afraid of what Jack’s reaction would be.

“You’re not leaving this cave without me knowing. You know you can’t outrun me; I’m faster in a sprint. I’m going to find out.” Jack pushed him back against the cave wall.

“Noooo, please Jack…” Peter was pleading. “I don’t want any trouble between you, just don’t!” Peter’s face was anguished. Jack had a bad feeling. He held him tightly against the wall and very gently ran the back of his hand across Peter’s balls and cock. Peter cringed and moaned, “Oh God,” but it was a moan of pain and discomfort. Jack was determined now. He undid the button of Peter’s jeans and drew down the zipper. Peter was still trying to dissuade Jack.

“Stop it Peter!” he ordered. He pulled Peter’s hips away from the cave wall and carefully pushed his jeans down. “Spread your legs!” he ordered. Peter stepped further apart and wished he hadn’t come to Jack’s cave. He looked away; he didn’t want to see the reaction on Jack’s face. Jack went down on one knee to examine Peter and he let out a ragged breath and a curse, “Son-of-a-bitch! I’ll fucking kill Sawyer!”

“I don’t want you fighting him Jack. That’s exactly what I don’t want you to do.”

Jack stood up and took Peter’s face in both his hands. “What did he do Peter? Tell me exactly what he did.” Tears were welling up in Peter’s eyes. He was ashamed that Sawyer had hurt him, but even so he was trying to protect him.

“He swore he’ll never do it again and I believe him Jack. I told him I’d leave him if he ever did it again.”

“Tell me damn it!” Jack ordered again.

“It happened last night. You heard our argument this morning. I had sex with you and three others yesterday and Sawyer had followed me. I didn’t know it. He knew everyone I that I had sex with. When I went back to my shelter last night he was waiting on me. He was really pissed and kept asking me who I’d had sex with. I lied initially cause I knew he’d blow up cause of who it’d been. He wanted me to be honest with him and it pissed him worse that I lied about it. He pulled down my shorts and grabbed me by the balls and said he’d hurt me if I didn’t tell him. He started to squeeze and I told him I had fucked Sayid. It made him so angry he crushed them together and I almost passed out from the pain.”

Peter had never seen Jack this angry, had never seen him like this. Jack slammed his fists against the cave wall. “Bastard! Killing him would let him get off to easy,” Jack said darkly. He looked into Peter’s eyes, “Have you looked at your balls Peter? They’re black and blue because they’re bruised and swollen. The bastard could leave you impotent the rest of your life with shit like this! Are you going to forgive him if he makes you impotent? You know I can’t fix that right? You’ve got a sex addiction. How’s that going to be if you’re impotent?”

Tears ran down Peter’s face and dripped off his chin. He knew Jack was telling him the truth, but he still didn’t want them at each other’s throats. Peter felt exposed standing there with his pants around his thighs. He bent over and pulled his jeans up carefully and zipped them up. He wiped the tears from his face and walked away from Jack. “I’m not impotent Jack. I masturbated earlier and got it up and came fine. But I know they’re hurt cause it hurt when I came. But it ain’t any worse than shit my old man used to do to me. I’ll get over it. I warned Sawyer I’d leave him if he did it again and I meant it. I don’t want you to confront Sawyer. It’s between him and me, Jack.”

Jack shook his head no. “He hurts you like that again Peter, there won’t be anything you can say to stop me. It’s not just between the two of you. You’re my lover too. Anything he does to you impacts me as well.” Jack stopped and began to pack some of his clothes and personal items.

“What are you doing Jack?” Peter asked a little confused.

“I’m coming with you. I’m moving to your place for a while. You don’t want me to teach him a lesson? Well, I get to be first and foremost for now. I want to sleep with you, hold on to you and wake up with you. Give him some time to think about what he’s done,” Jack said as he finished packing.

“That’s more overt than anything we’ve done Jack. It might not be such a good idea. You’ve got a reputation to protect.” Peter worried about how it would look for Jack to move in with him.

“You’re my lover. I’m not ashamed of you Peter. They’ll have to get over it. I’m the only doctor they’ve got. Hang the reputation. You’re more important to me.” Jack handed Peter a bag with bottled water and threw his knapsack over his shoulder. “Come on, we’ve got a hike ahead of us,” he said calmer as he led the way out of his cave.