Long Journey Home

Dawn came and went; the four men gathered round the breakfast table in
silence, only broken by requests like "Pass the butter, please" and the
like. David wondered at Tommy and Jason’s quiet mood, but a glance and
headshake from his father forestalled any comment. Soon after, the two
teens said their goodbyes and were back on their way to Angel Grove.
 
David looked after the red 4X4 for a long time, until it disappeared
behind a bend in the road. He turned towards his father.
 
"What was wrong with t two two?"
 
Sam Trueheart shook his head and guided his adoptive son back inside.
 
"They are at a crossroads. There is no right or wrong road, but only
one will bring peace to both. One has already chosen his path; it is up
to the other whether he will follow or walk alone."
 
 


***

Tommy drove slower than usual, and only partially because the road was
still slippery with mud and puddles. He couldn’t get their conversation
out of his mind, and was hard put to concentrate on his driving. Whenever
he thought about the moment when Jason had told him that he loved him,
he was filled with pride and warmth. At least that had crystallized
in his mind. A lot of other things, though, were getting more confusing
the longer he thought about them. His instinctive reaction was to give
Jason what he so obviously wanted, but he was sure it was the wrong reaction
for once. Whatever he decided to do, it would affect both of them profoundly,
and their near future, at least. He simply couldn’t afford to base a decision
on gut feelings and a sense of obligation towards his best friend; not
this time. Besides, he’d never envisioned himself intimately involved
with another guy -- although he had to admit, if it were anyone, it would
have been his best friend. This was all so confusing!
 
*Damn Jase anyway! Why did he have to spring this on me?*
 
Tommy knew the answer to that, though. They were too close -- had been
through too much together -- for there to be anything but total honesty
between them. Sooner or later, it would have come out, one way or another.
It was just that he’d been totally unprepared for something like this.
And of course, there was the matter of that tiny little sliver of excitement
deep in his belly and at the back of his mind which made its presence felt
every time he even tentatively tried to envisage himself and Jason in anything
like an intimate situation. That would have to be considered as
well.
 
They were reaching the outskirts of town before Tommy could bring himself
to look at his friend. Jason was gazing out the window, but turned towards
him when he felt the brown eyes on himself. Reading Tommy’s look perfectly,
he smiled his customary warm, slightly mischievous smile.
 
"Tommy, don’t worry so much. I told you, I expect nothing from you.
I ... I just wanted you to know, that’s all."
 
Abruptly, Tommy pulled over and killed the engine. Turning towards his
friend, he let some of his turmoil show.
 
"Then why do I feel as if I owe it to you, somehow?"
 
Jason sat up almost violently.
 
"No! You owe me nothing -- especially not something like this."
 
"But ...."
 
"But nothing. Look, Tommy -- I won’t lie to you. There’s nothing that
would make me happier right now if you were to tell me, ‘Jase, I feel the
same, would you kiss me.’ But only if it’s what you want,
as well. Not for any sense of obligation, or to humour me. I’d rather live
with the memories I have and keep you as my friend than that you do something
you can’t live with, and I lose you altogether." Jason drew a deep breath.
"That’s what I was most afraid of; not actually telling you about my feelings,
but that I’d drive you away because of them. It doesn’t matter if all I
ever get from you is a handshake -- what does matter is that I don’t lose
you over this. I need you too much for that."
 
He fell back into his seat and turned his head away, but not before
Tommy saw the flash of fear in the dark eyes. He was silent for several
minutes, thinking about what Jason had told him, listening to the rapid
breaths of his friend as he tried to control himself. Finally, he touched
the black-clad shoulder gently -- like he’d always done.
 
"Jase ..." He got no answer.
 
"Bro, will you look at me?" Tommy’s voice was very gentle, and Jason
hesitantly looked at him, not bothering to hide his pallor or the single
tear track down his cheek. His own eyes moist, Tommy reached out and carefully
wiped it away.
 
"If there’s one thing I’m sure of right now, it’s that you’ll never
lose me as your friend. I told you, I need you too much myself." Heled led
at the glimmer of hope that lightened the former Ranger’s eyes.
 
"All that other stuff ... I need some time, Jase. I have to think real
hard about what you told me, and how it will affect us. And it’s us,
not just you or me. I can’t and won’t make a decision without thinking
it through, from all sides. I can promise you one thing, though
-- I’ll tell you honestly and directly what it’ll be."
 
Jason sat for a moment, the colour slowly returning to his face. He
searched Tommy’s eyes and found the truth in his words, accepting the need
to wait for Tommy’s decision. Finally, he nodded, a slow smile curving
his mouth.
 
"Fair enough."
 
Tommy sighed, and slumped back in his seat. It was too early in the
morning for heavy stuff like this! Nevertheless, he was glad they understood
each other. He turned the key in the ignition again, and drove silently
to Jason’s house. Before his friend could get out, he grabbed for the strong,
tanned hand.
 
"There’s just one thing I have to tell you."
 
"What’s that?" Jason didn’t know whether to be anxious or expectant.
He opted for the latter.
 
Tommy drew a deep breath. This wasn’t going to be easy, but it needed
to be said. Besides, it felt right. He clasped Jason’s hand in his, squeezing
firmly. Holding his best friend’s eyes with his own, his voice very sure,
he said what had been on his mind since the night, ever since he’drd
rd
Jason say it first.
 
"I love you, too. Maybe not the way you love me, but maybe that will
come in time. Then again, maybe it won’t. I don’t know. But never doubt
that I love you, Jase."
 
He almost didn’t hear the whispered "Thank you", but felt the strong
fngers close almost convulsively around his own. Then, Jason released him
and grabbed for his overnight bag from the back seat. He was already reaching
for the doorhandle, when he suddenly turned back and grinned at Tommy with
warmth and a touch of ... what? It made Tommy’s heart beat faster.
 
"There’s just one thing I’d like you to think about ..."
 
"What is it"?" Tommy asked, slightly suspicious.
 
"Nothing much, really. I just hope it’ll help you decide."
 
Before Tommy could react, Jason reached over and pulled him close. Fastening
his mouth to the Red Ranger’s, he kissed Tommy leisurely, gliding his tongue
across the firm lips which instinctively opened to let the moist invader
inside. Tommy’s eyes closed involuntarily, and as Jason engaged his own
tongue in a gentle duel, he moaned softly. Then, he withdrew as softly
as he had come, leaving Tommy breathless and slightly dizzy. He touched
the lean cheek in a brief caress, then got swiftly out of the car. Closing
the door firmly, he looked back inside into chocolate eyes which were wide
with astonishment. Quirking another smile, Jason stepped back from the
car.
 
"How can you make a decision without having all the facts?" he asked
rhetorically.
 
"Think about it."
 
With that, the former Ranger turned and walked up the path to disappear
behind the crtabrtable ranch-style house, leaving Tommy behind with his
mind in chaos, lips tingling and a throbbing erection.
 
 


The End ...r isr is it?)

Author's Note: This was my first standalone fic; I've edited
it a little for reposting, but I wasn't able to fix all plotholes without
major rewrites. Seems I was far too ambitious as a rookie writer two years
ago and put in a few details too many. I'll try to do better in the sequel
I'll be writing eventually. Hope you'll forgive me for the minor bumps
... DB January 2001