Infinity

TITLE: Infinity (28/36)

AUTHOR: Master F&M

FANDOM: Law and Order: SVU

RATING: Everything from PG to R—just like life.

SUMMARY: A Fin-based saga to follow his life that isn’t seen on the show.

DISCLAIMER: L&OU anU and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf, NBC, and whomever

                          else puts the show out for our enjoyment. I just get to play with them.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sam is a character of my own creation. She does not exist on the show.

FEEDBACK: Please give some. For entertainment purposes only.

-----------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 28<
       㼠160;   Sam sat at her kitchen table flipping through the pages of a magazine she wasn’t really
reading. Giving up on it, she closed it and walked into the den. She surfed through TV channels
trying to find something interesting to watch and stopped at a police drama she liked, Cops and
Lawyers. She settled in on the sofa, hoping it would at least keep her occupied for an hour.

            This was the second Saturday in a row she was spending without Fin. She hadn’t, in fact,
seen him in nearly a week. It had been two weeks since Dorian had shown up at his door. Sure,
Fin called her every night and they talked, but it wasn’t the same as being able to see and touch
him. She missed being with the whole of him. Sam knew he’d come to her if she asked him to,
but she absolutely did not want to begrudge him any time he spent with his son, and from what
Fin had told her, Dorian apparently needed that time, too.

            A lot had happened in fourteen days. Dorian had gone back to Massachusetts to talk to
his mother again, and in an ironic twist of the past repeating itself, she had threatened to disown
him if he had anything more to do with Fin. Dorian hadn’t been dissuaded, so she had cut off all
contact with him. Fin didn’t think it would be the last that Dorian heard from her, though.
Charlene never liked not getting her own way.

            Fin was trying to remain neutral throughout all this. The last thing he wanted was for
Dorian to be caught in the middle of warring parents. Every day on the job he saw what the
effects of that could lead to, and although Dorian wasn’t a child anymore, Fin still didn’t want
him to suffer through the fallout of his past with Charlene. He chose, instead, to let Dorian make
his own decisions regarding his relationship with his mother by not letting on about what he
really tho of of her. He knew Dorian understood that Fin was furious that he’d lost out on so
many years with his son, but Fin tried to not point that fury directly at Charlene. He didn’t want
Dorian to think he had to choose one parent over the other.

            Sam didn’t think Dorian knew exactly what he wanted at this point. He was happy to be
with his father again, but it was also difficult for him to let go of his anger. He felt that his life
had been a lie, and that he’d been cheated out of the one he should have had.

            Fin had told her that Dorian had moments when he seemed so angry that Fin feared what
he would do, but that there were also times when he was incredibly sad. During it all, Fin made
certain to be there to talk him through it. Dorian always seemed better for it, and Fin believed,
given time, he would be okay. But in the meanwhile, he didn’t think Dorian was really ready to
make any permanent decisions about his future.

            Fin had been, therefore, surprised at first when he came home from work last Monday
and Dorian told him that he had taken a leave from his studies at Harvard Law. He said he
wasn’t ready to return to his life in Cambridge and asked if he could stay with Fin for a while.
Naturally, Fin was thrilled that he wanted to stay, but cautioned him against making any other
serious choices affecting his life. There was time, he’d told him, to work it all out before making
any decisions he might regret.

            Since then, the two of them had been virtually inseparable. Dorian reacquainted himself
with the city during the day while Fin was at work, but after hours they always went out together,
or stayed in and talked. Fin usually gave her a call after he’d climbed into bed and recounted his
day. He’d tell her what they did, what he thought about it, and how things were going between
him and Dorian.

            Sam would listen to the happiness in his voice, and be happy for him, but a little sad, too.
Although she got to hear all about this chapter of his life, she wasn’t actually a part of it. And as
much as she loved him, she wanted to be. She wanted to be able to see the smile on his face, not
just hear it. She tried not to dwell on it, and felt guilty about feeling it at all, but it was there
nonetheless. She felt no resentment, just a small de of of regret over the fact that she was being
left out to the point of not even being able to see him very much.

            Sam looked up as she heard the closing theme to Cops and Lawyers. She sighed, then
turned off the television. She’d spent the entire length of the show lost in her own thoughts.
Figuring she might as well just go to bed, she went to her room and changed into the pajamas set
she’d bought with Tori earlier that day. I suppose that’s one good thing that’s come out of
having so much time on my hands.

            After leaving Fin’s place the morning of the Lego contest, Sam had gone straight to
Munch’s apartment to tell him the good news. Tori was there, and rememng hng her pledge to
Fin to get to know her, Sam had invited Tori out to lunch. Tori had been surprised, but accepted.
Munch, on the other hand, after picking his jaw off the floor, had appeared to be a bit more
suspicious of her intentions. Nevertheless, he’d said nothing, and, as it turned out, they’d had a
pretty good time together.

            Sam appreciated that Tori was up-front and honest about her feelings for John, while at
the same time didn’t feel the need to try and claim him. She was interested in the little details of
Sam’s life that she told her about, but didn’t pry into anything that Sam didn’t offer. All in all,
Sam had actually found herself enjoying Tori’s company and had had to revise her original
opinion of her. So when Tori had called this morning inviting her to go along on a shopping trip,
Sam had gladly accepted. She was beginning to go through what she was calling ‘Fin
withdrawal’, and was happy for the distraction.

            Truth be told, Sam had never had a female friend before. She liked to think it was
because her profession, and thus the people she was able to meet, was mainly a male dominated
field. George Huang, however, believed it was because she tended to gravitate toward father
figures. Sam didn’t pay much attention to that, though. Unlike Freud, to George a cigar was
hardly ever a cigar. In any case, Sam was, much to Munch’s distinct pleasure, really beginning to
take to Tori. She wasn’t ready to say they were friends, but she was at least able to say that she
liked her.

            Sam climbed into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. It was amazing how quickly
she’d gotten used to having a warm body in bed with her. It seemed like without Fin next to her,
she was always cold.

            She got up again and turned on the heat. She already had an upset stomach and was
afraid she’d caught some kind of virus. Sam sighed at the unpleasant thought, then pushed it out
of her mind. That was the last thing she needed. Feeling drowsy, she looked at her clock and
hoped she could manage to stay awake long enough to get Fin’s call.

..............................................................

            Munch walked past Fin’s desk on his way to the coffeepot and did a double take.
Backing up, he peered at a framed photo over his partner’s shoulder. That’s new.

            “Is that Dorian?” he asked, although he thought he already knew the answer.

            “Yeah.” Fin picked up the picture. “He was five here. We were at the circus.”

            “So I see. Did he give it to you? I’ve never seen it here before.”

            “Nah, I’ve had it. Just never could put it out before.”

            Munch nodded in understanding. Now that Dorian was a part of Fin’s life again, it
wouldn’t bother him to see the picture anymore. It was no longer a reminder of what he’d lost.
Munch poured himself a cup of coffee, then came back to his desk.

            “How are things working out with him staying at your place?”

            Fin smiled to himself. “It’s nice having him around. It’s funny how some things about
him haven’t changed since he was seven.”

            “Still need a night light, does he?”

            “No, smart ass.”

             And neither do I, he remembered the candle he used to have to light in order to fall
asleep. “But he still likes to brush his teeth with his left hand, even though he’s right-handed.
And he still looks at the pictures on the cereal box the whole time he’s eating.” He paused and
smiled again. “It’s nice that he’s still the same.” His expression turned a little more serious.

            “It is a little cramped in there, though. I was thinking about maybe looking for a bigger
place. That way even after he goes back, he could still have his own room when he comes to
visit. Sleeping on the sofa is gonna get old after a while.”

            Munch chuckled over the image of Fin playing house with his son. Now all they need is
the Mommy. “How are he and Sam getting along? She hasn’t mentioned much about him to me,
only what you’ve told her.”

            Fin considered his answer. “I guess they haven’t spent much time together.” He thought
about it again. “Not any time, really.”

            “Oh?” Munch was puzzled. “Whose choice was that?”

            Fin shrugged. “No one’s. She and I talk, but . . . I guess I’ve been spending most of my
time with Dorian.” He paused, then offered by way of an explanation, “There’s a lot of years to
try and catch up on.”

            The phone rang, halting their conversation. Fin took the call, while Munch went back to
the file he had been reading. His thoughts, however, kept straying back to Sam. He knew his
niece. She might not let on to Fin about it, but if what he’d said was true, Munch imagined her
feelings were pretty hurt right about now. He decided to give her a call as soon as he was alone.

            Fin hung up the phone. “That was Deuthorn. He said you promised him a file of one of
our old cases?”

            “Right. You remember that cocktail waitress from about six months ago? The one who
said she’d been raped by a customer?”

            “I remember she lied her ass off about it.”

            “Yeah, well, she turned up dead a few days ago. Det. Dave thought there might be a clue
about who did her in the file somewhere.”

            “Then you should get on pulling it out of the file room. He’ll be here for it in a few
minutes.”

            Munch picked up a file from his desk. “Way ahead of you, my friend.”

            He noticed Fin looking over Munch’s shoulder and turned to see what had drawn his
attention. Sam had just entered the squad room. From what he could see, she hadn’t done
anything to change her appearance, but she looked a little different somehow. Different, but still
great.

&;
           “Hey, Princess.” Munch got up and gave her a small hug. “To what do I owe the
pleasure?”

            “Actually, and this has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the degree of my affection
for you, I’m here to see Fin.” She turned to his partner.

            Fin stood up smiling at her. “Okay. Then what can I do for you?” Sam held up a small
gift bag.

            “I come bearing gifts. Well, gift really.”

            Munch sat down again, protesting. “I’m hurt. He gets a gift while I get what, all but
forgotten?”

            Sam grinned at him. She reached into her purse and handed him a sample box of
chocolates she knew he liked. “I’d never forget either one of my two favorite men.”

            Munch took the box, then looked at Fin. “I remember when I used to have that gig all to
myself.” He popped a chocolate into his mouth.

            Fin shook his head then turned to Sam. “What’s up?”

         &#  Sam handed him the bag. “It’s just something I thought you’d want.”

            Fin looked at her questioningly, then reached into the bag. He pulled out a framed picture
of him and Dorian building their Lego skyscrapers. Both smiling, they had their heads cocked at
exactly the same angle as they worked on their models. The similarity between them was
glaring.

            Fin looked up, touched by the photo and by her. “How did you do this?”

            Sam held up her phone. “The wonders of modern technology.” She watched him
studying the picture. “I thought you’d like to have an updated one.”

            Without thinking, Fin took a few steps and drew her into a full on-the-lips-lasting-at-least-seven-seconds-in-front-of-the-entire-squad-room kiss. Several detectives stopped working
to stare, and even Elliot, watching from across the room, raised an eyebrow at Olivia and cocked
his head in their direction. Munch rocked in his chair, grinning at them.

            Fin pulled back to reveal a stunned Sam. She knew how he felt about his privacy.

            “Well,” she said, playing to the room to break the silence, “I should have brought you a
gift sooner.” There was some chuckling as the others went back to their work.

            “Thank you.” Fin put the picture on his desk next to the older one. It was apparent he’d
surprised even himself with the kiss.

            “You’re very welcome.” She decided to risk asking. “Any chance I might get to see you
tonight?”

            Fin felt guilty about not spending much time with her, and in light of the gift she’d just
given him, wanted to make it up to her. But he couldn’t tonight.

            “I’m sorry, Sam. Dorian and I have tickets to the Knicks game. It was something I
promised him we’d do when he was a kid.” Despite her best efforts, there was no mistaking the
look of disappointment that came over Sam’s face.

             “It’s okay,” she nodded, trying to downplay it. “I have some work I need to catch up on
anyway.” She looked away before he could say anything else, and turned to Munch.

            “Say hi to Tori for me, okay?” She waved at the two of them then left. They both knew
she was upset.

            Leaving the squad room, Sam passed by Det. Dave Deuthorn, who was on his way in.
Fin watched as Deuthorn stepped aside to let her pass, then kept his eyes trained on her until
she’d gone out the door. Wearing a grin as he approached their desks, he nodded in the direction
she’d gone.

            “She was nice to look at.” He took the file Munch offered him. “Now why can’t I meet a
girl like that?”

            “Maybe ‘cause you talk too much,” Fin hadn’t liked the way he’d looked at her.

            Deuthorn frowned. “Yeah, whatever. She’s probably already with some schmuck
anyway.”

            Munch choked down a laugh. “What makes you say that?”

            “The good ones always are, aren’t they?” Fin said nothing. Munch looked at him, then
back at Dave.

            “You don’t say?”