Infinity

TITLE: Infinity (27/?)

AUTHOR: Master F&M

FANDOM: Law and Order: SVU

RATING: Everything from PG to R—just like life.

SUMMARY: A Fin-based saga to follow his life that isn’t seen on the show.

DISCLAIMER: L&O: SVU and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf, NBC, and whomever

                          else puts the show out for our enjoyment. I just get to play with them.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sam is a character of my own creation. She does not exist on the show.

FEEDBACK: Please give some. For entertainment purposes only.

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CHAPTER 27

            Fin stirred at the sound of the doorbell, not quite sure what had awoken him. He felt the
weight of Sam’s arm across him middle, and tightened his own arm around her waist. He started
to drift off again when the doorbell rang once more. This time Sam woke up as well. She sat up,
allowing Fin to get up and put on a pair of sweats.

            “This can’t be good,” she yawned.

            “Never is, this time of night.” Fin pulled a shirt over his head and went to answer the
door.

            Sam looked at the clock. 1:17 A.M.. Fin was right. Nothing good ever came out of
being awakened at this hour. She was ashamed to find herself hoping it was about another case,
but she didn’t want Fin to have to endure another personal issue.

            Fin walked to the door cursing silently. The only person who ever came by this late at
night was Munch. And that usually meant work. He had, on occasion, come by for one of their
all-night talks, but that hadn’t happened since he’d met Tori. Looking through the peephole, Fin
froze for a second, then flung open the door.

            Dorian stood in the doorway looking surprised that he’d ended up at Fin’s apartment. Fin
opened the door wider.

            “Dorian.”

            Dorian looked into his father’s face. “I’m sorry. I know it’s late. I just had to get out of
there, and I wound up here.”

            “It’s alright.” He almost reached out to pull his son into the apartment, but thought better
of it. “Come in.”

            Dorian stepped inside and looked around. His eyes were immediately drawn to the
picture on the mantle. He went over to it, and picking it up, stared at it for several seconds. Fin
came up behind him.

            “Do you remember when we took that?”

            “Yeah.” Dorian smiled. “I wanted to see that circus so badly. I knew Mom wouldn’t
take me, so I kept begging you to go, even though I knew you had school.” He turned to Fin.

            “That was one of the best surprises I ever got, when you came home early that day to take
me.” He put the picture back and rubbed his forehead.

            “What happened, Dory?”

            Dorian sniffed. “No one’s called me that since I was a kid. Since I was seven.”

            Fin rubbed a fist into his other hand. “Yeah. Well, it’s been that long for me, too.” He
tapped him on the arm. “Come sit down.”

            Both men went to the sofa, but stopped short when they were confronted with the pile of
Sam’s clothing she and Fin had left on the floor. Embarrassed, Dorian backed away, apologizing
quickly.

            “Hey, I’m sorry. You have someone here, and I’m interrupting. I’ll go.”

            Fin had stooped over to pick up the clothes, but straightened up n ann and latched onto
Dorian’s arm when he said he was leaving. “It’s okay.”

            Dorian was doubtful. “I don’t want to intrude.”

            Fin dumped the clothes into a chair. “You’re my son. You’re not intruding. And trust
me, she’ll understand. Her uncle’s the one who found you.”

            While Dorian was considering it, Fin sighed. “Do you really want to leave now? After
everything that’s happened?”

            Dorian looked up. “No.” He sat on the sofa and Fin followed.

            “Tell me what happened.”

            “I went to Mom and asked her to tell me the truth. Why we really had to leave New York
without saying anything to you. Why I never heard from you again or why we never talked about
you once we left.”

            “At first she stuck to her old story. She kept saying it was because it was too dangerous
for us to stay there. That you’d gotten mixed up with the wrong people, and that they had wanted
to hurt us to get to you.” He took a breath then continued. His voice droned, void of the emotion
he had displayed earlier.

            “She kept it up until I told her that I’d talked to you. That you were still living in New
York, and that you were a cop so you couldn’t have been arrested for drugs.” He paused as he
thought about her reaction.

            “She went a little crazy. She got mad at me. She said I had no right to go behind her
back after everything she’s done for me.” He laughed sarcastically. “She wanted to know how I
could do such a thing to her.”

            Fin remembered her reaction to his news that he wasn’t going to stand for the Bar. “I
take it she still doesn’t approve of me being a cop?”

            “In a word? No. But I get the feeling it has more to do with you than with being a cop.”
He looked over at his dad. “Why is she so mad at you?”

            Fin scowled. “She thinks I let her down. That I wasted years of her life. She thought at
the time that I owed her.” He was tired of covering for her when she couldn’t show him or their
son the same consideration.

            Dorian scoffed. “I guess she’s right then.”

            Fin frowned. “About what?”

            BefoBefore I left she yelled that I was just like you. Then she said those same things to me;
that I was letting her down, and that I owed her.” His voice got quiet.

             “She was just using me, wasn’t she? All these years she was just hanging onto me so
that you couldn’t have me.” He looked his father in the eyes. “She didn’t want to have me at all,
did she?”

            Fin stalled for an answer, not to protect Charlene, but to spare his son. “Why would you
ask that?”

 0;�          “I heard her talking to Grandmom once about the mistake she’d let you talk her into. I
didn’t get it at the time, but I take it now that I was that mistake?”

            Fin had trouble getting past the fact that the Carvers had known all long where Dorian
was. He’d gone to the cou countless occasions begging for any information they might have,
but they always swore that they had no idea where their daughter had gone.

            Fin shook his head. “You were never a mistake to me. You were my boy from the
moment I knew you existed. I never forgot about you,” he looked at Dorian to make sure he
understood what he was saying, “and I never stopped loving you.”

            Dorian blinked back a few tears, then reached into his inside jacket pocket. He pulled out
his copy of the photo of that day at the circus. It was dog-eared and ragged from having been
folded and unfolded so many times, but it still showed the two of them. Fin looked at it, then at
him. Dorian shrugged.

            “You said to hold on to it so that we’d always be together, even when we weren’t in the
same place. I hid it when Mom started throwing everything else out.” He shrugged again. “I
guess I just couldn’t let go of it.”

            Fin smiled then reached out and hugged his son.

            Sam stood under the doorframe with her hand covering her mouth. When Fin hadn’t
come back to the room, she had thrown on some of his clothes and gone out to investigate. The
sight of the two of them together had stopped her cold. If she’d ever wondered what Fin must
have looked like when he was younger, now she knew.

            They were so engrossed in their conversation, that they hadn’t noticed her, and she was
glad. She’d retreated back into the hall and had permitted herself a few peeks at them. Fin
looked so happy, laughing at something Dorian was showing him. Sam snuck back, content to
let them have their time alone together.

            Fin rejoined her in the bedroom nearly an hour later bringing the clothes and purse she’d
left by the sofa. He was still wearing a smile when he climbed into bed. Sam propped herself up
on her elbow.

            “I take it things went well.”

            “You know who it was?”

            Sam nodded. “I saw the two of you together and came back in here. I guess you worked
things out?”

            Fin grinned even more. “Yeah. You know what? He remembers a lot; a lot of what we
used to do together.” He sounded like a kid at Christmas. “He’s gonna crash on the sofa, then
we’ll talk again in the morning.”

            Sam couldn’t help but be happy. His joy at being with his son again was infectious. She
leaned down and kissed him. “I’m happy for you, Fin.” He looked at her for a moment.

            “I guess I should thank you, too. Munch told me you had a hand in this.” He started to
say something else, then stopped.

            “What?”

            He paused, as if considering, then went ahead. “You should have told me what Munch
was up to.”

            Sam cringed a little. She had known that by not saying anything, she was risking having
him be upset with her, but she had promised Munch that she wouldn’t. And telling Fin may have
only ended up disappointing him again.

            “I couldn’t, Fin. He didn’t want you to know in case he never actually found anything.
We didn’t want to raise your hopes.”

            “All the same, you should have said something.”

            Sam looked at him a little puzzled. “I should have, but not him?”

            “I’m not sleeping with him.”

            “Oh.” She thought about Munch. “So you’re not mad at him, then?”

            “How can I be, considering? And I’m not mad at you either. I just don’t want there to be
any secrets between us.”

            Sam looked at him carefully. “I couldn’t go back on my word,” she paused, “but you’re
right. I promise, no more secrets.” She snuggled next to him as he turned off the lights.

             “So what are you guys going to do tomorrow?” She could feel him smiling again.

            “I don’t knowt I t I guess we have the time now to figure it out.”

..............................................................

            Fin lay awake waiting for morning. He hadn’t slept much in the past couple of hours. He
was too excited. Dorian’s here. He kept replaying every bit of their conversation last night,
eager to have contact with him again. He especially liked the part where Dorian showed him the
photo he’d managed to save. That meant something, didn’t it? He’d held onto the picture the
same way Fin had. He smiled as he thought about it. He couldn’t do anything about the years
he’d missed in his son’s life as a child, but he was grateful he could get to know him as a man.

            Fin looked at his clock. 6:15. Sam would be awake soon. She rarely slept past 6:30. He
didn’t want to wake her, but he was anxious to start the day. He sat up at the sound of a loud
thump in the hall. Sam bolted up as well.

            “What was that?”

            “I don’t know.” Fin got out of bed wearing the same sweats he’d worn the night before.

“Stay here.”

            Sam smiled at his protectiveness. As if she couldn’t take care of herself. Nonetheless,
she stayed put.

            Fin opened the door and walked out into the hall. Dorian stood in front of the open hall
closet. Several of the gifts had fallen out onto the floor and he held another one in his hand. He
looked up when Fin came out.

            “I was looking for a towel,” he explained. “I thought I’d take a shower. I couldn’t
pretend I was sleeping anymore.”

            Fin took a few steps and picked up a gift from the floor. He handed it to him. Dorian
looked at it, then at the one in his hand.

            “These are all for me?”

            Fin nodded. “I told you I never forgot about you. It didn’t seem right to not get you a gift
for your birthday or Christmas.” He shrugged at his sentimentality. “I wanted to have them . . .
just in case.”

            Dorian looked stricken. “I’m so sorry, Dad. I didn’t know.” He felt guilty for his father
having suffered because of him. “I would have come sooner if I had.”

            Fin focused on the word. Dad. He took another step closer. “You’re here now. That’s
what’s important.” Both men looked at the floor, uncomfortable with their feelings. Dorian
looked up first, grinning.

            “Can I open them?”

            Fin laughed. “They’re yours. Go ahead.” He lifted one from the floor. “Let’s get them
all into the other room.”

            Sam watched from behind the bedroom door as they began piling the gifts on the living
room floor. She was starting to feel like a prisoner to Fin’s bedroom, but she really didn’t want
to interrupt them. She smiled as she watched them. She could just hug Dorian for making Fin so
happy. She decided, instead, to get dressed and leave as unobtrusively as possible.

            Fin carried the last of the gifts from the closet to the living room. Dorian had already
planted himself on the floor to the side of the piles. Fin arrd thd them according to year, from
his eighth birthday and Christmas to his twenty-second, and Dorian dug in. He was as excited as
he would have been as a child, knowing that although his mom always got him what he needed,
it was his dad who always tried to get him what he wanted.

            The box for his eight-year-old Christmas was enormous. He tore off enough of the
wrapping to see what it was, then quickly ripped off the rest. He held up the biggest box of
Legos he had ever seen.

            “I used to love these things!”

            Fin laughed. “I know. Remember how we used to build whole cities? And have those
contests to see who could build the tallest building the fastest? You could spend all day with
those things.”

            Dorian laughed with him. “Me? I can remember you being right there with me.”

            “Hey, a challenge was a challenge.” They looked at each other. Fin jumped on it.

            “The first one to twenty-two stories wins. And no shortcuts. It has to have windows.”
He got down on the floor and started pulling pieces from the box.

            “And stairs,” Dorian added. “You can’t have a decent skyscraper without stairs.”

            Sam came into the room just as they were getting started. Fin saw her.

            “Hey.” He got to his feet and brought her over to Dorian who got up as well. “Dorian,
this imantmantha Munch. I already mentioned her uncle, my partner, is the one who found you.”

            He turned to her. “Sam, this is Dorian. My son.”

             He’s waited a long time to be able to say that, she thought. She held out her hand to
him. “I’m really happy to meet you.” She smiled warmly at him to let him know she meant it.
She turned back to Fin.

            “I’m going to take off.” Fin saw her face and understood. “Good-bye, Dorian,” she gave
him a little wave. “I hope to talk to you again.”

            He nodded. “Sure.”

            Sam headed out with Fin in tow. He gave her a light kiss at the door. “I’m sorry about
not coming back in. We just sort of got caught up with the gifts.”

            “No problem,” she smiled, “go have fun with your son.”

            Fin went back to Dorian before she’d gone out the door. “Hey! You started already.
Cheater.”

            Dorian laughed at him. “All’s fair in war and Legos.” Fin laughed, too, and joined him
on the floor.

            Sam was halfway out the door when a thought occurred to her. She turned around and
took a shot of the two of them together with her camera phone. She’d have someone at the
Bureau clean it up and enlarge it later. She knew Fin would want a memory of this day, too. She
smiled as she looked at them again, then left.

            Dorian heard the door close and looked up. He glanced at it, then at Fin. He nodded
toward the door.

            “Was that your girl?”

            “Yeah.” Fin kept working.

            “A little young for you, isn’t she?”

            Fin stopped and looked at Dorian. “I think that’s for me to decide.”

            Dorian chuckled. “Hey, I’m all for it. Good to know my Dad’s still got game. Gives me
something to look forward to in my old age.”

            Fin tried not to smile. “I ain’t old.”

            “Whatever you say, Dad. Whatever you say.”

            Fin felt his heart swell. He’d missed the sound of that. Dad.