Breaking

Night 1

The chain hangs heavy on my neck and shoulders. I’ve wrapped it, covering half way up my throat and down to my shoulders, as if it were old chainmail. I’m wearing it, but can I really pray? Prayers have never helped for anything. I think of David. His smile and kind eyes. Could I be a pastor’s wife with no love of the church or faith in a God? Could I pretend for him?

I twist my long auburn hair and pin it into a bun. A fine white bonnet left to me by mother covers it and I stare into her little mirror. I look just like her, green eyes and fair skinned. With all the dirt and tears washed away, I could almost pass as a bride. Maybe James was right, I'm not getting any younger. I'm not as dainty and petite as other women, but I am thin. Men shouldn't be intimidated by a woman with some muscle. This would be my life with David. I would be loved and taken care of and every way I act would be a lie to myself. A pastor's wife does not hunt or ride or drink.

I open the door and cast my eyes up to the sky. Purples and deep blues weave across the horizon and chase away any remaining orange from the sunset. The grass seems so welcoming, so forgiving of any faults. I can imagine the feeling of it's cool blades cradling me as I trace the constellations. I long for it, but I can't go. The night isn't safe anymore. I'm trapped standing in this empty cage, and its only going to become more empty. Reality is cold.

Why did I come back? These walls are all I have anymore, but they aren't happy. The home my father built. How can I stay? How can I leave?

I leave the front door open and retreat into Samuel and James's room. Every thing is how they left it before the hunt. How can I part with any of this? I start with their clothes, making piles of shirts, pants, boots and anything that hangs much to loose off of me. I keep the blankets and pillows. Winter will be hard if I can't chop the wood I need. I carry the first load back into the main room and set it on the floor.

"You are beautiful tonight. Did you dress this way for me?"

My heart feels like it rips at the sound of his voice. I angrily pull off the bonnet and take the pin from my hair so the locks fall over my silvered neck.

"How dare you come back to my home!" I snap out, "You butchered my brother's bodies!" I point out at the woods, "You went back and desecrated them out of spite, you sick fucking monster!"

"Mind your tone when you speak to me, girl." He warns.

"And how would you silence me, boy?" I draw out the last word. "You can haunt me during the night, but, if I find you during the day, I will rip you apart like you did to my brothers."

A dangerous thought finds its way to my tongue, "Should I find Eric first and kill him? Maybe then you will feel something. I've already taken that woman from you. If I take another, I could call it even."

"She was not mine. Had she been bonded to me if have burned your home to the ground by now. I am not here to avenge a reckless vampire, though the punishment for killing one of our kind is death. I'm here to torment the too bold human who stabbed my progeny and attempted to kill me. I warned you I would make you suffer. How much more will it take to break you? I've spent over a thousand years learning all the ways to break one of your pitiful kind. I don't need to touch you, yet. I have patience. I will break you down until you beg me to kill you."

His hand traces an invisible wall across my open door way. It's so hard not to meet his eyes, not to bore my hatred into him. He has symbols running up his neck from under his clothes. Symbols from a thousand years ago.

"Leave me alone," his presence is draining in itself, "I have no intention on leaving home tonight."

"I am only here to make sure of that. In case you feel the sudden urge to leave this haven of yours."

He’s confidence is worrisome. Something is wrong. Why would he think I would leave this house? "What did you do?" My heart beat begins to hurt.

"I've done nothing," he assures, "but Eric..." He turns and looks across the clearing. "My child is taking the loss of our companion a bit hard."

The barn. My heart drops and I start to hear it. My goats are in a panic. Bleating, banging, and screams cut short.

“Stop! Stop this!” I want to wrap my hands around his collar and shake him but I fight myself in the doorway. “Make him stop!”

"Why?" He tilts his head to the side, "You were so beautiful in your anger yesterday. So raw and pure. I wonder if I could pull that from you again."

I cover my ears and turn away, my eyes shut tight. I pace in a frantic circle. My family's livelihood, my livelihood is being butchered just a few second’s run from my door. I have nothing without them. It’s all going to be gone. I steal a glance back at the demon, then around the house. I have a knife in the bedroom, or the fire poker near the stove, that could work. I could swing it and bash his skull in. I’d have time to save a few of my herd. If I can fight them off, I can spend the night skinning them and smoking any meat. I’d have to do it now. I grab the fire poker and drag it behind me as I head for the door.

Amusement lights in his eyes, “There it is.”

He's going to grab me, I know he is. Can I pray? If there is a God out there, help me. I swing the fire poker up and send it feeling through the air, through the doorway, and at the vampire with all the force I can put behind it. He catches hold and I am pulled out the door. His hands hold my arms to my sides and I’m shoves back against the outside wall. I kick out, trying to hit him between the legs or in the gut. I’m pulled away from and slammed back into it, hearing wood and something in my back crack.

“Shh,” he sooths. Tears are gently wiped from my cheeks, “It is not over.”

Light springs into view as my barn erupts into flames. I can feel the life crumble out of me as an anguished scream. I pull with all my weight. I try to scratch and bite and kick until my body is too exhausted to obey, all the while he strokes my hair. The roof of the barn caves in, lifting embers into the air. I finally look at him, blue eyes scanning mine. Probably to see if he’s broken the fight from me. I spit at him. Lips curl back into a snarl and his fangs drop.

It happens all too fast. A hand whips around and pulls my head to the side as teeth dig deep into my neck. Muscle and skin rips as he takes a mouthful of flesh and my silver chain.

Smoke bursts from my neck as he rears back and roars. His lips and tongue are burned. I need to get loose or he's going to break my neck. The soft part of his arm is exposed just an inch away. I can get him to let go as long as I don't hold back. Pretend that it's goat shank, that's all. My teeth sink in but my body fights me, not closing hard enough to take a chunk of flesh out.

His blood doesn't taste normal. It’s spicy with just a hint of sweet, like a gingersnap cookie. I swallow a mouthful and it goes down warm. I nearly get another drink of it but i’m ripped away from the screaming beast and thrown to the ground. Eric towers above me, hate in his eyes, wielding the fire poker.

The doorway. I need to get into my house. His arm pulls back. No, no, this can't be it. I try to scamper away but I don't even make it to my feet. My breath is cut short. I look down and see it, poking out right below my sternum. The black point of my fire poker. My last feeling is the radiating pain and the wood planks of the porch on my face.


Words.

"Not yet."

They're faint, but they're there.

"After all she has done, killing Melissa, insulting us, you would just have me leave her here?"

"She won't die yet. She's tasted my blood."

Voices float around like mist in my darkening mind.

"She took it without your permission! Let me kill her, Godric, and be done with it."

"Are you assuming I do not know what I am doing."

I can't move.

"No."

"As your maker, I command you. Do not kill this woman. She is mine."

I can't see.

"I never believed I'd see you with an obsession."

"An obsession makes you sloppy, remember that when you deal with your wolves. But, a hobby will keep you sane through the centuries. Humans only last a short time. They make the perfect hobbies."

I'm numb.

"What would you have me do, master?"

"Pull the rod out."

There is a strange pressure and sucking sound from my chest and I'm rolled into my back. Warmth is pressed to my lips. A wetness.

"Drink, child. Dream of the last happy thing you will ever see."