The Gift

After the initial confusion, came the unease.  But it didn’t last.  I was surprised at how well we got along.  Miles said we should make the best of our situation so he commandeered a second chair and a cot with a few linens.  He even went so far as to get me my own drinking glass.  Yep.  Just like home.  Only not really.  My new home, I suppose.  The tent was sparse and my companion quietly intense, but I managed to get through the day.  I took my time making up my cot and when I finished I looked for something else to occupy myself.  It was beyond kind of him to bring me a cot.  It spoke volumes about him.  He wasn’t a cruel man.  He didn’t try to take advantage of a situation that was so clearly in his favor.  But he didn’t go out of his way to ingratiate himself with me either.  We were to be roommates.  Both trapped by Monroe’s madness.  At least we both had that in common.

 I sat on my neatly made cot with my hands in my lap, trying to decide what to do.  Should I try to have a conversation with him?  He spoke mostly with body language but every now and then I was rewarded with a single word.  “Here” he said, handing me a deck of cards.  “You can sit at the table and play.  Or read one of those books I have stacked over by the dresser.  You can read can’t you?”  “Yes, of course I can read!”  I replied.  “Good, because I’m not going to sit here and read to you.  It’s bad enough I have to baby-sit.”  “I’m no baby,” I said indignantly, “I’m nineteen!”  I lied.  I didn’t want him to think of me as a child, and nineteen wasn’t so far off from seventeen.  Just a little fib.  I grabbed the deck of cards from his hand and our skin briefly touched.  I felt an overwhelming heat between us and I looked up into those dark eyes of his and realized he felt it too.  Uh oh.  I turned around, hoping he hadn’t gotten any ideas.  I sat down at the little wooden table to lay out the cards for a game of solitaire.  To my surprise he sat down next to me, picked up the deck and started to shuffle.  “You know how to play blackjack?”  he asked?  I nodded and he dealt the cards.  We played many hands and began to relax in each others silent presence.

“Lily…”  he started.  That was the first time he’d called me by name since Sebastian had left me with him.  “I’m sorry.  I’m not myself these days.  No one is.  Not since, well since the lights went out.  You might have liked me then.  Not a lot, but enough.  Now though…I’ve done a lot of things I regret. “  He paused for a long, long time.  “I have no idea why I’m telling you this.  Forget it.”  I looked at him questioningly.  Then blurted out, “You’re not a bad guy.  Sebastian’s a bad man.  Not you.  Whatever you might have done in the past, you’ve been nothing but decent to me.  Unless you have horrible plans for later that I don’t know about?”  I asked with a nervous giggle.  He actually laughed, a deep hearty laugh that lit up my insides.  “Well I didn’t have anything planned but things can always change” he said with mock seriousness and a smirk. 

“So what now?” I asked him.  “We bide our time.  We ready ourselves to escape this place.  Believe it or not I’m as much a prisoner here as you are.  Sure I’m free to leave, but I’m always expected to return.  Always.”  “You’re not happy here” I responded, and it wasn’t a question.  “Things have gotten out of control.  Even I can’t stop this ball, it’s rolling too fast and for too long.  Time to put some distance between myself and Monroe.”  “I’m coming with you, Miles.”  It was the first time I’d called him by his name.  It tasted kind of sweet on my lips.  “Look, Lily, I’ll get you out of here, no question.  I know you’re here against your will.  But as soon as I can find a safe place to leave you, I will.”  That stung and I had no idea why.  I hadn’t know this man twenty four hours, so why did it feel like I was being dumped?  He must have seen the hurt look on my face because he reached out and cupped my cheek.  Our eyes met in surprise but something smoldered deep in those brown orbs.  I turned my face into his big warm hand, surprising both of us.  My lips brushed his palm.  An intense heat flared between us.  I reveled in it.  I’d never felt anything like it before.  Was this what it felt like to be in love?  No way.  In lust, perhaps.  I could only hope feeling in love felt that good. 

And all too soon the moment was over.  Outside a bugle could be heard.  Gently, he pulled his hand from my face and turned from me.  “That music signals lights out.  I’ll take the cot, you can have my bed.”  His bed.  I opened my mouth to protest but he shook his head and climbed under the covers of my cot.  I just stood there.  I couldn’t sleep in his bed.  “Better get under the covers quick, Lily, I’ve got to turn this lantern off and it’s going to get cold tonight.”  The last thing I saw before he cut the light was his smirk.  I climbed into his bed in the darkness.  It was warm and it smelled of him.  Deep and musky and manly with a hint of the woods.  For the first time in my life, I slept in a man’s bed.  And I couldn’t decide if I was sad that I was alone in it.