That One Time

That one time John was banned from driving.

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It only took 45 minutes to work Sherlock into such a state that he declared John was never allowed behind the wheel of a car again. John had guessed it would take at least an hour.

That morning when Sherlock had suggested that John drive so he could give directions, John adamantly said no. But suggested turn to pouty, frowny complaints and he gave in, regretting it almost immediately after he started driving. Giving directions had been code for 'playing with my phone and not paying attention where we are and blaming you for every missed turn.'

After the fifth time Sherlock failed to mention when he should have make a turn, John decided to make the best of it. It didn't long for his distracted partner to not be so distracted and John could see him periodically glancing up at the road then at the dashboard.

"John you do realize the speed limit is 60?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you only going 50?"

Trying to be cute he flashed Sherlock a smile. "It the max allowed, not the required speed."

"Hmm." Tightly pressed lips and narrow eyes, Sherlock didn't find that very cute. He went back to playing with his phone but kept a permanent eye on the dash.

"John, you don't need to drive so slow, there's hardly any traffic."

"Just relax, we're in no hurry."

Sherlock always being in a hurry when he had made some important discovery for a case, found that statement even less cute.

"For god's sakes John, we were just passed by a sheep lorry."

"Yes I see that"

Only twenty minutes into their trip and Sherlock was getting fidgety. The phone was completely forgotten.

"Why are you going slower? Are you sightseeing now?"

"Well it is a nice view isn't it?" John cracked another smile.

"Seriously, John. Everyone is passing us."

"I'm not going to speed up so quit your moaning."

Sherlock held his tongue as he tried to figure out how to pace in the car.

"We're going to be late."

"No, we're not. We have 3 hours before our appointment.

"At this rate, 3 hours won't be enough...damn it John, you missed the exit."

"Bloody hell Sherlock, how did I miss it when you didn't tell me it was coming up."

Sherlock found absolutely nothing cute at that accusation. He was just about to go on a tirade of 'Don't you dare blame this on me' but John cut him off.

"Shut it and figure out which way I need to go now."

Snapping his mouth closed, Sherlock seemed to be trying to inflict bodily harm with just his glare. Grabbing his phone Sherlock starting giving directions again between numerous complaints about John's driving.

35 minutes in and Sherlock was losing what little composure he had left.

"John it's a bloody roundabout, you don't have to stop."

"Damn it, just go, it's clear!"

"For gods sakes, the light is green."

"Fucking drive faster."

John finally snapped back "Sherlock not another word about my driving."

The mixture of anger, frustration and irritation that passed over his face was impressive.

Then they missed one more turn off and Sherlock was right on the edge of losing it so John did just what a loving partner would do, he pushed him over. "Pay attention to the fucking directions and not my sodding driving, we've missed 7 turns because of you."

Very calmly Sherlock said "Pull over."

"What?"

Less calm "Pull over!"

"I'm not pulling over."

Far, far from calm. "Pull! Over!"

John pulled over.

And with the least amount of nice words Sherlock made perfectly clear that John was never going to drive them anyway ever again.

John snatched the phone from of his hand and got out of the car so Sherlock could get in the driver's seat. Standing outside the car he tried to control himself. He wanted to laugh so bad it hurt. He should have felt like a bastard for putting Sherlock through that but he didn't. This is just what John's and Sherlock's do.

Sherlock would stay mad all hell until he finally figured it out. At which point he would begin plotting revenge but first he would probably cancel their appointment and head directly to the hotel because there was always one guarantee with their games. Getting the upper hand on the genius detective was guaranteed to get him in the mood.

His lifetime ban on driving was completely worth it and he didn't like driving much anyways.