Darkest Nights

He was yelling for help before he even registered what was happening. A few doctors ran in and ordered him out. He paced in the hallway, terrified.

Was George going to make it?

He felt tears running down his face. He had failed George so many times- the time he'd failed to protect him from Matthew Brodus, the time he'd used George to coerce a confession from a schizophrenic, the time he'd snapped at George when he had ordered him off a case involving several murdered kids. And he'd failed George by not catching the sadists before they got him.

And through all that, George had been there for him. True, it was George's job, but George had been there outside of work hours too. He wished he could help George.

He was so lost in thought that he almost didn't notice Olivia running towards him.

"I got a call that George was found. How is he? What's going on?"

"He's… not good." His throat tightened and he felt a wave of shame come over him when tears left his eyes. Olivia put her hand on his shoulder.

"What is it, Elliot?" Elliot struggled to speak.

"He was kidnapped and tortured by the sadists we're after. And the cuts let bacteria in his blood and he's septic and now he's flatlining, and- god damn it, I'm in love with him."

Olivia sucked in a breath. "He'll be okay, Elliot. George is tougher than we all know."

"Not when he's been totally broken," he choked out.

A doctor came out of the room.

"Is he…?" Elliot asked breathlessly.

"We got him back. But we had to put him on a ventilator, and he's still critical. He has an overwhelming infection, and his immune system responded to it but was only able to do so much. He has a fever, due to both the bacteria and his body's response. It's not high enough to warrant icing him down, but we're going to give him a bed bath and see how he responds. We'll worry about other things later."

"Can I see him?"

"In a few minutes. A nurse will tell you when," she said as she started to walk away. When she was gone Elliot let out a shaky breath and leaned against the wall for support.

"He'll live, Elliot," Olivia said.

"I hope so," Elliot murmured. A nurse came out and told him he could go back in. Olivia decided to leave Elliot alone, instead opting to give the squad news about George.

Elliot walked in the room nervously.

The heart monitor was beeping steadily as if trying to reassure him that George was still there. The ventilator breathed for him, at a steady rate that no human would ever breathe at. The machines were precise, a little unnerving, yet crucial- "A lot like George," Elliot mused sadly. "Or what George was like." Because, now, the person being assisted by the machines was a sharp contrast to the machines themselves. He looked at George for what felt like the hundredth time, looking at the injuries that had caused him so much pain.

He found himself imagining what it must have been like for George. The cutting, beatings, burns, bites, rapes- escaping from that, only to find the pain of a dangerous illness. He grabbed George's hand. He felt a powerful need to say something.

"Please hang on. I… I love you. It'll be hard but I'll protect you." he trailed off awkwardly.

He got no response, but he wasn't expecting one, as much as he would have liked to feel the hand tighten around his.

"I'll wait for you, George," Elliot promised him. He would stay here overnight. In the morning Cragen would probably order him home, so he figured he'd get some sleep then and then come back. He settled in for a long night.

---

Elliot looked at his watch. It was 10:00 in the morning; the team would be coming in to see George in an hour.

Suddenly, a noise came from George, then another. It looked like George was trying to breathe on his own. He felt amazed when he noticed George seemed to be awake.

A nurse came in and removed the tube and then Elliot was left alone with George.

"George, are you awake?" he asked gently.

"Mm-hmm." The noise sounded harsh and Elliot berated himself when he remembered that George's throat would probably be hurting after being hooked up to the tube. He grabbed some ice chips and put them in George's mouth, coaxing him into swallowing them.

"Better?"

"Mm-hmm," George hummed again.

Elliot realized that George was semi-delirious because of the high fever. "Do you know where you are?" he asked.

"A dream."

Elliot blinked. "What do you mean?"

"It's another dream."

Elliot wasn't sure what to say. He decided to go along with it. "How do you know it's a dream?"

"Not there anymore..."

Elliot felt like someone had kicked him. "George, this is real. You were found on a highway. You have a bad infection but you're alive." He managed not to add a bitter "for now."

"Wish this wasn't a dream," George said with a sigh. Elliot sat down next to George and put George's hand between his.

"What do I need to do to convince you?"

"Nothing."

Elliot stopped trying to talk to George logically. But he wanted to reassure the smaller man. "George, I promise no one's going to hurt you. I'm going to take care of you from now on." George gave another sigh, which turned into a cough. When he was done coughing he murmured:

"It feels good when you say that." Elliot moved a hand and set it on George's cheek, speechless.

George spoke again. "I'm in love with you," he whispered.

Elliot swallowed, his throat tight. "Same here, George." He knew the small man was hallucinating because of the fever, but he also knew that George's feelings were real; he hoped he'd get the chance to make George happy again.

George soon drifted off again. Elliot wished that he could say that George waking up had reassured him, but he knew George wasn't out of the woods yet, and now he felt an ache in his chest for what George was going through mentally and physically. He had never reached this level of empathy for anyone, even Kathy, before. Sighing, he decided to busy himself by running another towel over George's forehead. He was sure he was going to hit something otherwise, and he didn't want to destroy hospital property.

The others came in the room. They drew in a collective shocked breath when they saw George's condition; pale skin, cuts and burns, and overall worn look.

"What the hell?" Olivia fumed, angry tears on her face. Fin grounded his teeth in anger while Munch and Cragen shook their heads sadly. Alex Cabot punched a wall, something she'd never done before.

Elliot filled them in on what he knew.

"He was kidnapped and tortured, obviously, and he's in septic shock. He flatlined once right after he got here but they managed to bring him back. He woke up a few minutes ago, sort of. He was semi-conscious and… he thought he was dreaming, because he wasn't there anymore." He had difficulty saying the words.

They shared a significant look, and made a wordless promise to each other. When they caught the perpetrators, they were going to make sure the bastards regretted harming one of their own.

They watched him for a few more minutes. Alex Cabot started talking.

"When I get my hands on them…" she growled.

"Don't worry, they're getting my classic, 'oops I didn't mean to hit you' attacks," Elliot said. Olivia nodded approvingly. Cragen shook his head sadly.

"I think George wants us to just stick with legal revenge. If we find them they'll get life in prison, I'm certain of it."

"They'd escape on some technicality," Alex fumed.

"Fin, Munch, you guys ok?" Olivia asked suddenly. They hadn't said a word.

"Just kind of a lot to take in," Munch answered.

"Yeah, the doc and I aren't best buddies but this sucks."

They all agreed on that.

They made plans to start taking turns watching over George. One of them would always be at his side; they managed to align their hours that way.

They wanted and needed George back.