Run Jack Run... & Find The Doctor

It was war inside the TARDIS. The Doctor cringed as she relayed Jack's voice inside his head. Slamming his hands over his ears he tried to block her out. She had completely refused to go anywhere he told her, and was demanding his attention be brought to his old friend.

He knew Jack needed him, he knew he wanted to say goodbye, he just couldn't bring himself to add to Jacks pain. Watching Jack was gut wrenching. His hearts were bleeding for him. He just could not logically process how any good could come of either one of the situations they were both facing.

What good was going to come from the Doctor telling him he was dying? What good would it be to tell him what happened to Rose, and Donna? Jack would never forgive him if he knew. The Doctor could not handle the risk of losing someone else again. Not in this regeneration. Not again.

The Doctor felt tears weld up in his eyes. Right now, Jack would be the only person to ever come close to truly understanding how he felt about much of his past. Jack would now sympathize with destroying everything he loved, just for the benefit options. He would now realize what it felt like to truly be the reason for losing his friends. He now knew what it felt like to lose the one person he truly, honestly loved with every bit of his being. Sure, Jack may have felt those things before, but now they would truly have made their impact. The Doctor knew that. The other problem though, was Jack needed him more than ever, and under different circumstances it would be wonderful. They could travel more, see new things, talk about their travels and have a good laugh. There was no chance of that now, after all... he was finally running out of time. No matter how badly he wanted to stay like this, it would never last.

Frustrated he slowly got to his feet, swallowing down the pain of the radiation inside of him. The TARDIS seemed to glow at her control panel. She was trying to will him on. She knew the Doctor was terrified to regenerate alone, and maybe in the end he would, but for now he had someone who would understand. That meant everything to her. She was not physically enough, and she knew they needed each other now more than ever. Her beautiful idiot was definitely testing her limits.

He was missing Jack. Their reunion had not been long enough, and after losing Donna....it would have been nice to have someone, something left after he lost everyone else. It was right here in front of him. The Doctor knew it too. The only other problem was, he knew he was also going to add to his pain. The twinge inside of him at the thought made him sigh. He wondered though, if he could at least set something right before he left. He had crushed Rose. He crushed her a second time, left with

out ever telling her how he felt. 900 years and he still could not learn to change, even for Rose. The Doctor had wiped poor Donna's memory of him, all their beautiful moments as she bawled and begged. He would never be able to see his old friend again. That left Jack. Maybe he could change things in a positive way for once.

“Alright old girl, alright, you win” The TARDIS roared to life. The Doctor rolled his eyes, “Don't get cocky” He was smiling though. She knew that. It was the first time he had smiled in a long time. A twinge of hope, maybe today would be different.

As they descended to where the TARDIS had been pestering him to go, the Doctor suddenly had knots in his stomach.

What was he going to say to Jack when they finally started to talk? This was the last time he might have to finally say everything he should have said before. The only problem was it was something he still had trouble with. Bad Wolf Bay was proof of that. It reminded him every second it could.

His hearts ached at the thought, as he fought back never ending tears over her.

You can't teach old dogs new tricks, he thought.

The TARDIS made a familiar sound, and for a moment he fought to steady himself as she landed.

The wind whipped at his hair, and kissed his tired skin.

There not too far away, was Jack.

The Doctor couldn't breathe.