Carry On My Wayward Son

Chapter 3

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Carry on, you will always remember

Carry on, nothing equals the splendor

The center lights around your vanity

But surely heaven waits for you

 

-Carry On My Wayward Son

-Kansas

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Sitting there, Sam rubbed his eyes, feeling them burn slightly from the mere thought that he was talking to his brother once more, he then grinned, sadly, before saying, “Yeah, Dean, it’s me.”

 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, Dean, too, felt the tears but was able to shove them back and swallow ‘em.  Just hearing his brother’s soft tone once more after allthis time was a relief that made much of the anger he was feeling melt away, for now anyway.  “Dude, you’re fine, right?  You’re safe and nothing happened?”

 

“I’m fine, Dean, nothing happened,” Sam told him softly taking a drink of the booze that he had poured.  Though he wanted to elaborate, to give his brother a rundown of what did transpire, he didn’t.  Right now, he couldn’t allow Dean to find him so any information had to be kept to himself.

 

Nodding, Dean let out an internal sigh.  Though Bobby had, indeed, told him that his brother was safe and well, getting a confirmation from the source himself was better at setting his mind at ease.  “Where are you, Sammy?”

 

And, with that question, Sam knew that the civility of the conversation was about to come to an end.  With an internal sigh, he said, quietly, keeping his tone neutral, “I’m not going to tell you that, Dean.  Just, rest assured, I’m safe and nothing or no one is going to get to me.”

 

The anger that had receded at hearing Sam’s voice began to make a reappearance.  “Dude, it’s me, Dean!  Your brother!  Just tell me where you are!  I’ll come then we’ll sit and talk so we can get on with our lives then continue on with the family business.  You know, hunting things, stopping seals from breaking to prevent friggin’ Armageddon from happening?”

 

“No, Dean.  I’m not telling you where I am,” Sam said as he downed the last of his drink.  Getting up, he made his way back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of whiskey.  He was sure, as fast as this conversation was headed on the downhill slope, he was going to need all the liquid courage that he could get.  “For right now, I need to stay where I am and it’s safer for you, along with everyone else, that you not know where that is.”

 

“What the hell, dude?”  Dean exploded, the anger coming back full force.  “Do you think I need to be protected from you or something?  That is complete bullshit!  Just tell me where you are, Sam!”

 

“No,” Sam said firmly, taking a swig out of the bottle as he walked back to the living room.  “Right now, I’m not going to do that.  If you can’t accept that, this conversation is over because I’m not going to argue with you about it, Dean.”  Honestly, this was much easier to do over the phone than it would have been in person.  If they were together, they would be coming to blows very shortly, this way, that couldn’t happen.  If worst came to worst, and Dean didn’t drop it, he could just hang up. 

 

Snorting angrily, feeling his head pounding from the rise of his blood pressure, Dean gritted his teeth then hissed out, “What the hell, Sam?  Tell me why I can’t know where you are?  Give me one good reason and I’ll drop it.”  This was… well, this was certainly not the way that he expected the first conversation with Sam to go.  Sure, he expected arguing and some nasty things to be said but Sam would eventually cave then tell him where he was so he could go get him.  After all, Sammy was a big softy about things and he could always get through to him.

 

Seating himself back at his desk, Sam took another swig of the liquid fire, relishing the burn in his throat and stomach from it.  “Not right now, Dean.  I will, eventually, but right now… I can’t.”

 

That was it, Dean exploded.  “BULLSHIT, Sam!  I don’t know what you think you’re pulling or why you’re pretending to be a martyr but the crap stops now!  Just tell me!”

 

Shaking his head sadly, Sam set the bottle of booze on his desk then said, bitterly, “No, Dean, I won’t.  You can yell, scream, whatever, all you want.  I’m not telling you.”  Almost as an afterthought, after a short pause, he added, “It isn’t like you would believe me anyway.”

 

“I am SO kicking your ass when I see you, Sam!”  Dean shouted.  “First you vanish, now you’re being all secretive and won’t even tell me what’s up or where you are.  That’s crap!  What the hell did that Ruby chick put you up to this time?”  Honestly, the damn demon skank was the only one he could think of that could be behind this.  Though she didn’t know where his brother was, a huge relief he would admit, he was sure she was behind this.  It had her stink all over it.

 

“She is one of the reasons I’m hiding,” Sam snorted out before he could stop himself.  Catching what he did, the younger Winchester wanted to smack himself for the slip but quickly figured that might aid his cause slightly, getting Dean off his back.  Rather than elaborate, he stayed quiet, waiting for Dean’s reaction to gauge what to do next.

 

What his brother said was like a bucket of cold water dumped on him, pulling Dean out of his red haze.  Serious expression sliding across his face, he said, “What did she do, Sammy?  Just tell me.  I can protect you, you know that.  Hell, if nothing else, I’m sure Cas will help.  Between the two of us, you’ll be safe.”

 

“You can’t be with me 24/7, Dean.  And, honestly, I don’t trust Castiel.  This way is better,” Sam imparted quietly, eyeing what was still in the whiskey bottle, pondering if he should down the whole thing or not.

 

“Look, we can find a way.  That and I’m going to hunt the bitch down and gank her.  That’ll be that, end of problem.  And Cas… you can trust Cas.  He’ll help,” Dean said firmly, looking over at the angel who nodded to him, serious expression on his face.

 

“One; I don’t trust Castiel at all, Dean.  I don’t care what you say.  Nor is there anything you can do to convince me otherwise,” Sam said forcefully.  From the research he had done up to this point, almost all of it looked over and confirmed with Bobby, he felt that he was fully justified in his feeling towards the angel.  “Two; offing Ruby isn’t going to stop what is going on.  Another demon will just take her place.  I would rather have her alive.  At least, when it comes to her, I know what I’m dealing with and what to expect,” he finished, tone more than slightly bitter.  If Ruby were killed, he was sure the being that would take her place would be far more powerful and twice as nasty.  In fact, he was certain that he knew whom it was and that made him shudder.  No, Ruby was far better to deal with.

 

Glancing at the angel, Dean’s brow creased slightly.  He didn’t understand why in the hell Sam would say he didn’t trust Cas.  He was an angel after all.  They might be serious dicks but they were the good guys.  However, what he got was the tone of Sam’s voice when he said those things.  Knowing his brother the way he did, he had heard that before from him, and when he had in the past, it had proven to be something that he needed to listen to.  Sam’s instincts might not be the best when it came to judging beings, but when he was vehement about not trusting someone there was little Dean was going to do to change his mind.   Then there was what he said about the demon skank… that, honestly, worried him.  Glancing at Bobby, wanting to ask if he knew something, he didn’t when he saw the still slightly angry expression on the old hunters face. 



Rubbing the back of his neck, the elder Winchester brother tried to think.  It was obvious that Sam wasn’t going to budge at this point.  All the yelling, screaming and shouting in the world wasn’t going to do much good.  Sure, he wanted to do all of the above, just to let his brother know how pissed and hurt he was about what had happened but he didn’t think it was a wise idea.  Nor, at this moment, did he have any other kind of real leverage to use so as to make him see sense.  If Sam were here, he might be able to work with it but it wasn’t something that he could pull off over the phone.  Right now, he got the feeling that there was something seriously spooking Sammy.  Whatever it was had to be bad enough to cause him to take off and hide himself as well as he did.  That was something he needed to ponder, not go off on him over.  Hell, Sammy knew that he was the best there was and could protect him against anything.  Whatever this happened to be, it must be bad enough to make his brother think that he was no match for it.  That he didn’t like and thought was bullshit but he took it into consideration.

 

Walking over, Dean flopped down on Bobby’s ancient sofa and put his head in his hand, rubbing his throbbing temples with his fingers.  After a few moments, he sighed then said, “Alright, Sammy, you win.  I won’t press the issue.  But tell me this… in time you will fill me in, right?  And if shit goes downhill and you’re in trouble, you’ll call?”

 

“When I get what I need in the form of real proof, I’ll tell you, Dean.  And, yes, if I’m in serious danger, I’ll call,” Sam assured him, slouching in his chair, once more grabbing the whiskey bottle and taking a long pull directly from it.

 

“I don’t like this shit, I’ll tell you that right now, but I’ll deal with it.  However, that comes with one condition; give me some damn way I can contact you so that I can make sure you’re safe!”

 

Quiet, Sam thought that over.  No, he didn’t like the idea, the further Dean stayed away right now, the better off he was going to be until he figured out a solution to this mess.  But he could understand why his brother wanted that.  He didn’t want to give out his phone number either.  It wasn’t because Dean could trace it, that wasn’t a problem, he was more worried about Castiel and what he might be able to do.  Thinking quickly, he tried to come up with something before an idea hit him.  “Do you have a computer or do you still go somewhere to use one?”

 

Puzzled look crossing Dean’s face, he said, “Yeah.  I had to get a damn laptop after you left.  Why?”

 

“Get a piece of paper to write on and I’ll tell you how to go about this.”

 

Quickly, Dean was able to find something to write on then said, “Alright, go.”

 

Quickly, Sam gave him the URL to a site to download a messenger program.  After brief instructions on how to install it, get a screen name, how to add his and the like, something he was sure that Dean could follow, he explained, “I have that on all the time the computer is.  You can PM me there.  My screen name is Silent_NonLucidity.”  Stopping, he spelled it out making sure to include where the underscore went.  This, he felt, was the perfect solution.  Dean would get to talk to him like he wanted and his location would be protected.  He was smart enough, when it came to computers, to have a program installed that masked his IP address.  If anyone tried to trace it, something he wasn’t even sure Dean would think to try or know how to go about doing so if he did, it would show up as coming from somewhere in Russia.  Nor did he think Castiel could do anything to trace it back to him with all the protection he had laid out around him. 

 

Making sure to write it all down, Dean nodded.  This did sound good to him.  At least he had some way to get hold of geek boy. “Look, Sam… this is all well and good but I’m not the best with typing shit out. I’d rather talk, you know?”

 

“We can do that, Dean.  You don’t have to type it out.  Just go and get a headset mic for the computer and we can talk over messenger.  It’s almost like a phone call.  If you get a webcam, we can even see each other.”

 

To Dean, that sounded like something that he could deal with.  He wasn’t the best in the world with the computer and how to go about things but he could manage this one.  “Alright, Sammy.  I can work with this.  I’ll get the mic thing and webcam tonight then we’ll start talking that way.” Stopping, he shook his head then added, “But don’t think you’re getting out of the asskicking you so righteously deserve for this stunt though.”

 

That actually made Sam grin slightly.  “I know, Dean.” 

 

After talking about general b.s. for a few minutes, Sam had Dean hand Bobby the phone. One very cryptic conversation later, after he was assured that the old hunter knew he had some important information to pass along and needed to talk when he was alone, Sam then hung up. 

 

Leaning back in his chair, Sam rubbed his eyes in a tired way.  Really, he didn’t want to deal with this crap right now but had to.  There was going to come a point where Dean had to know what was going on.  If his brother was mad at him, he wasn’t going to be able to pass along the information he needed to and get Dean to listen.  That would put his brother in as much danger as he felt he was in.  No, that just wasn’t acceptable. It was best to try to maintain some semblance of good relations and he felt this was the way to do it.



Eyeing the whiskey bottle, something that had a lot less in it than when he had started, he pondered finishing it off.  Lord knew, his nerves needed it and he seriously wanted to get blind-ass drunk.  But, considering what he needed to tell Bobby and then discuss, he felt it was for the best that he put it up.

 

With a weary sigh, he grabbed the bottle then walked back into the kitchen.  After stowing it back in the cupboard he made his way to take a long shower.  Hopefully, that would relax him a little.

 

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Just as full dark was setting in and the cold from the late autumn night was starting to wrap around the cabin he was in, making the heat kick on, Sam’s phone rang.  Seeing it was Bobby after checking the caller ID, he put the earpiece in and answered.  “Dean didn’t chew on you too much, did he?” Was the first thing he asked the old hunter.

 

With a slight chuckle that sounded more like a grunt, Bobby leaned back in his chair then said, “Oh, he’s still plenty mad and tried to rip chunks off of me but he didn’t get very far.  I can take care of myself, Sam, so no need to worry about me.  Now, what’s up?”

 

“He’s not around, is he?  Or Castiel?”  Sam asked, making sure.  He didn’t want to get into this if either of them had a chance of popping up.

 

“Naw.  Cas left not long after you hung up with Dean.  Off to do whatever it is he does.  Dean left a while ago to get that stuff for the computer.  I imagine, knowing him the way I do, he’s going to stop and have a few before he comes back.  So, we should be safe.  Besides, if he does come back, I’ll hear him before he gets here,” Bobby explained.

 

“Good.  I don’t want to be interrupted,” Sam said as he slid into his desk chair, pulling up the documents he needed.

 

“Is this about Asmodeus?  What we were talking about earlier?” Bobby inquired, moving over to his desk, preparing to take notes.  They had, by this point, had enough of these conversations about such things that he knew the routine by now.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Sam sighed dejectedly, organizing things on the screen so he could get them off in a logical manner.  “I’ll e-mail you all the info I have when we get off the phone but this is serious, Bobby.”

 

“Alright, hit me with it,” the old hunter said, picking up his pen, ready to go.

 

“To start off with… Asmodeus is Lilith’s son.  He came about from her affair with the arch-angel Sameal.  At least that’s what I’m finding.  There is so much crap out there about him and Lilith, most of it contradicting everything else, that it’s hard to sort through,” Sam sighed.

 

Snorting, Bobby said, dryly, “I know. Lilith is a nightmare from what I’ve seen while researching.”

 

“Anyway… I went through that professor you hooked me up with and he found most of what I needed.  Then I started gathering all the other stuff up and pieced it together.  What I got was this….he’s half angel, of course, very powerful.  A prince of hell.  One source even says the king of hell.  From what I’ve been seeing, he and Lilith do not get along.  Hatred actually might be a better word for it.  I doubt that he would have any problem offing her.  And, yes, he is on earth right now.”

 

“That ain’t good,” Bobby said distractedly as he took notes, brow furrowing.  “You think he’s here to help her or does he have something else in mind?”

 

“I don’t think he’s here to help her,” Sam sighed, shaking his head.  “From all I’ve been able to find, he’s been here a while or comes and goes, depending on what you read.”

 

Stopping, Bobby looked at his sparse notes then asked, tone concerned, “You think he’s tied in with Ruby and all this crap?”

 

“I think so, Bobby,” Sam nodded.  “Ruby might be powerful but I don’t think she’s pulling this on her own.  She has to have someone she’s getting orders from.  I think Azazel was her first ‘boss’ and am sure it was Asmodeus that Azazel answered to.  This whole thing is probably his plan to release Lucifer and rid himself of Lilith at the same time.  Lilith is competition to him, one of the few beings that are more powerful aside from the angels that fell with Lucifer.  On top of that, many sources say she was Lucifer’s lover.  That would put her heavily in his favor, something Asmodeus must not like.  From what I’ve come across, he’s always bragged that he would be the one to set his Lord free and reap the reward for doing so.”

 

“Shit,” Bobby muttered, rubbing his eyes with the hand that was holding the pen.  “You sure about this?”

 

“No,” Sam snorted dryly, “but the information seems to point there.  The legends about the old demons are so contradictory that it is hard to piece it together.  But evidence leans that way.  Look at Ruby’s knife… no ordinary demon that was once a mere human, witch or not, could come up with or create something like that.  To pull that off you have to be old and powerful.  That means she either stole it from one of the old ones or one had it made for her.  I’m gathering it’s even capable of killing Lilith herself so we’re talking a powerful weapon.”

 

“Aw, hell,” Bobby muttered, tossing his pen on the table, leaning back in his chair and rubbing his eyes.  “I was hoping that it was something she had concocted because she had been a witch.”



“It might be, all I have is guesswork.  But I don’t think as young as she is, by demon standards anyway, that she could have come up with that one by herself.”

 

“I agree,” Bobby said with a sigh.  “Alright, any way to stop this?  I mean Dean is all for taking out Ruby right now.”

“Can you see if you can’t get his focus elsewhere?”  Sam asked quietly.  “I don’t like Ruby and, frankly, she scares the shit out of me right now.  I have no idea what she’s going to pull next.  But I’d rather deal with her than something else.  Who knows whom they would send after me next?  If Asmodeus is on earth and is her boss, it might be him.  When it comes to a choice between her and him I’d chose her every day of the week.”

 

“I see your point,” Bobby nodded.  “Alright, I’ll see if I can’t point him another direction.  Asmodeus might be a good place to start with that.  You gonna send me all the stuff you have?  Signs of him and all that?”

 

“As soon as we get off the phone, it’ll come your way,” Sam replied with a nod.  “It’s everything I can piece together.  If I’ve got it wrong or you find something else, let me know.  I don’t want to be off on a wild goose chase with this.  That could be what they want.” 

 

“Don’t worry, I will,” Bobby nodded.  But, by now, after having seen the work Sam had done researching various things, he was sure he was right on the money with what he said.  His own research would only shore up what Sam had.  But he would double check things.  Switching topics, he asked, “Got anything else for me?”

 

“I did a little research on Castiel.  There isn’t much out there though.  Most of what I get is he’s the angel of Thursday or will give you guidance if you’re moving or traveling a lot.  From what I gather he’s rather low on the totem pole of things in heaven.”

 

“Doesn’t sound like one that would be heavily involved in something this big,” Bobby observed, taking cryptic notes.  “Any idea how he’s involved?”

 

“No, not really.  He’s so low-level I can’t even trace whom he would answer to.  But, if he’s involved, it has to be something big.  I was going to ask to see if you can’t get anything out of Dean that might help.”

 

“I’ll see what I can do, Sam.  But I doubt it’ll be much.”

 

“Any little bit helps,” Sam observed, opening a few more documents.  Looking at them, he changed topics.  “I’ve been looking into binding spells…” he started then stopped as he looked at all the stuff on the document he opened, frowning. 



“You find anything that matches what Ruby was trying?”

 

“There are so many of them, Bobby!  Most of the older, darker stuff involves a blood exchange of some kind but even narrowing it down to those doesn’t help much.  I don’t know what I’m looking for honestly.  And I’m not even sure if old world black magic is what was used.  Hell, it might even be something that we don’t know about.”

 

“If this all came about because ofAzazel giving you blood when you were that young, I’m sure it’s a binding of some kind,” Bobby told him, brow furrowing.  “With Ruby trying to get you to drink her blood, it has to be something like that.  I’m sure it did increase the powers like she told you or helped to jump start them but my gut is telling me there is more to it than that.”



“I agree,” Sam nodded, starting to close out everything on the screen.  “I’ll send you what I have and keep looking on this end.  Could you see what you can find and shoot it my direction?”

 

“I will,” Bobby assured him.  “There are a few people I can talk to about it and see if they know anything.  I’ll go from there.”  Tossing the pen on his desk once again after taking a few more notes, he then said, voice deadly serious, “Now, I understand you agreeing to talk to Dean but you better be careful, boy!  If he finds out where you are I’m sure both sides are going to know then land on you with both feet.”

 

“I know, Bobby, I know,” the youngest Winchester told him with a deep sigh.  “If I didn’t do something he was going to kick off the search again.  That’s bad news.  Dean is damn good at what he does and might find me.  This was the best I could come up with.  I can throw anyone off the track on the computer unless they are a hardcore hacker.”

 

“Just don’t get it in your head to tell him where you are.  You do that and Cas will know.  Plus, I’m sure the other side will have someone sticking close to keep an eye on him.  Everyone knows that you two are your own weaknesses.  That happens and he’ll lead them right to you.  I didn’t go through all of the time and hassle of setting this up with the Blackfeet for you two idjits to screw it up because you couldn’t stay away from each other,” Bobby told him harshly.

 

“Don’t worry, I won’t,” Sam assured the older man.  “I know what’s at stake here.  There is no way I’m going to willingly play into hell’s plan and I know enough to get that if I’m not willing, they can make it so I do it anyway.”

 

“Remember that,” Bobby cautioned.  Starting to hear a familiar rumble approaching, he said, “Dean’s on his way back.  Shoot me that stuff in an e-mail and I’ll get back to you when I find something.”



“Will do, Bobby.  And thanks,” Sam told him sincerely.

 

After grunting a ‘you’re welcome’ Bobby hung up then buried the notes he took under a pile of other things so that Dean wouldn’t see them.  Rubbing his eyes in a tired way, he wondered how long it would be before shit really hit the fan with this whole mess and how bad the fallout was going to be. 

 

Not wanting to think about that, he got up to go find himself a cold one while he waited for Dean to come in.

 

 

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