[Falling From Grace]

     Castiel’s arrival interrupted Dean’s long lasting stupor and at once he closed the distance between them. His face was filled with worry, an emotion that was not usually apparently on the angel’s chiseled mug. Castiel pushed Dean over onto his back placing his soft hand on Dean’s forehead. The bed creaked awkwardly under the sudden increase in weight.



      “Dean, do you have a fever?,” Castiel asked him, looking genuinely concerned. This caused Dean’s entire face to become flushed once again. His body was stiff and erect in surprise but his temperature was perfectly normal. “Tell me this, do you feel a pain in your chest right now?” Castiel rested his other hand on Dean’s leg. Dean realized then, that he did not have erectile difficulties.



     Castiel looked down. Dean looked down. As if time was suspended in a never-ending bubble of awkwardness; many moments went by. Castiel’s face became white as a ghost. He swallowed hard, making his Adam’s apple jut in and out of his neck. He instinctively looked up to meet Dean’s eyes but Dean’s eyes were shut tight. His face was a bright pink beacon of embarrassment.



      This is great. Thought Dean. Doing this in front of an Angel. One who would feel so strongly against this whole thing. Dean finally opened his eyes, once he felt Castiel’s weight get off of him. The angel looked like he was in distress. His complexion was that of a spirit, his eyes wide in fear. Dean’s heart sank a little when he heard the sound of angel’s wings and the angel was gone. Dean threw a pillow over his own head and swore into it.



       “FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. What the fuck am I thinking? FUCK.” Dean screamed, for quite some time. It wasn’t until Sam came home and told him to put on pants, did Dean move from where he was. He wasn’t entirely sure that the angel’s actions was one of rejection, but it definitely wasn’t good.

       Sam sensed something was wrong when he stepped into the door, finding his brother shirtless in his boxers, and not wearing a smug grin and boasting about his "exciting endeavors". Something was up and he intended to find out....

    Castiel was worried. He had the same feelings Dean had. When he had put his hand on Dean’s forehead, a fiery hot feeling made every hair on the angel’s body stand on end. When he realized Dean’s flesh had swollen in arousal, Castiel started to do the same. He actually had the urge to engage in explicit acts with his friend!

 

Castiel knew that this would be a Sin, but most of the things he had been previously taught to be wrong had changed. If God was against this, why would He make him feel it? Dean was someone he admired and had obviously been blessed by his Father. Would that really be a bad thing?

 

“So Dean? Want to tell me what has been up with you lately?” Dean had been walking out of the washroom and promptly tripped and fell over when Sam started the conversation. This was not like the usual Dean. Sam had even brought home four cheeseburgers for him. When Sam told him, Dean simply responded: “No. I am not hungry. But thank you.” Not the usual Dean behavior at all.

       “Uh. Sam, nothing,” Dean gruffly responded, after dusting himself off. Sam raised an eyebrow and gave him a skeptical I-Don’t-Believe-You look. “No, really. There is nothing going on.” Dean turned away, trying to hide his blush from his brother. He was usually good at poker-facing, why was it so hard now?

       “Seriously Dean. I am kinda insulted you won’t tell me. You’ll tell Castiel but you won’t tell your own brother?,” Sam made a sour face at his brother in hopes of trying to make him feel bad. Sam would get the just out of him somehow, he would just have to try a few angles .”I see how it is. You know what? Forget about it.”

       Dean didn’t need this from his own brother. He was torn enough with himself to need to worry about what his brother would think of the situation. “Listen Sam, it’s nothing personal, but I am going through some things and I am not even sure what they are". Dean looked very distraught, Sam noted. But still, this only made him want to know even more.

        “Maybe I can help. Come on, we’re family. Just tell me what the problem is, so I can help you figure this out?” Sam pleaded, not backing down. Sam placed a hand on his brother’s tense shoulder, to reassure him. Dean looked at his brother’s hand and thought: Yeah, if he knew I was a fuckin’ fairy he wouldn’t feel comfortable putting his hand there. I can’t tell him. Dean shook his head once more and pulled away from his brother, grabbing his keys off the table and leaving. He left Sam standing alone in the hotel room.

 

       Dean drove fast, going nowhere in particular. The cars and streets whooshed by in a flurry of yellow and red lights. It was raining quite hard and the wind had picked up since. He needed to clear his head. He needed to escape and figure things out, but still his problems followed him around no matter how fast he drove. He was just out of the city limits when he heard the sound of his angel’s wings. He stopped the car suddenly, the wheels skidded to a halt. Dean turned to see Castiel sitting in the front passenger seat.

       “Cas! Next time, a little warning? I coulda crashed the car!-” Dean started, but was abruptly cut off by the angel. “Listen Dean. I don’t have time for games. I need to know what is going on here. I know I feel what you are feeling. I need to know what this means, and what we should do. I don’t have answers here, and I need you to do what you always do and make the decisions”. The angel wore a serious scowl. Dean blinked, taken aback by Castiel’s forwardness.

       “C-cas?,” Dean stuttered. “I think we should act how we feel, regardless of what others may think. What I am feeling for you Cas, I can’t help it. And as much as I try it won’t go away. And I can’t hide it anymore as you noticed. You’re turning me into a shell of a man Cas, no one does that”.

      Castiel smiled, his blue eyes shinning in the darkness. Even in the dim light provided by a street lamp many metres away, Dean still looked attractive. Dean leaned towards the angel and grazed the curve of his jaw with his fingertips. The fiery tingling surged from his fingers down into his belly, exciting him. Castiel leaned into his touch, pulling Dean close into an embrace. They held each other for some time, listening to each others’ breathing and the drops of rain hitting the roof of the Impala.

 

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