Faking It

Chapter Three

Scrutinizing, Cigarettes, and Squabbles


Tilly always chose the same place in Metropolis to eat, a Chinese restaurant called Shanghai Mamas, according to his daughter it was the best restaurant food she'd ever eaten- ever. And Clark had to agree- the best Chinese food, anyway.

Clark handed their menus back to Geoff, their waiter almost immediately, and ordered pot stickers and four egg rolls to start. He and Tilly came her so often neither one of them needed to look at the menu anymore.

Once the Geoff left, Tilly folded her hands on the table and looked at her father expectantly. "I think we should each make a list," she declared.

"A list of what?" Clark questioned, afraid of the answer.

"Well," the six year old started, trying her best to sound grown-up, "I'll make a list of things I want my mom to be like and you make a list of things for what you want your wife to be like."

"Tilly I told you I'd think about it, I never promised-"

"I know!" the little girl interrupted, "I just think we should be ready, that's all."

Clark took a sip of his water. "Honey, I don't think this is something you can plan-" his daughter's pouty lips and round, glowing eyes caused him to pause. After a moment, he sighed heavily. "Fine." He gave in, "we'll make lists, I promise. Now, how about we talk about something else? Like how your day was. Did you have fun at school? Did Uncle Pete take you to get ice cream?"

That seemed to do the trick. All thoughts of potential mothers and wives were quickly pushed to the back of the child's mind as she recounted her entire day to her father, in excruciating detail. Including the part where she beat Darren Mitchell in a race across the playground, without cheating. And how she got a check plus on her spelling test, and extra for the bonus word, successful. Clark tried to focus on his daughter's enthusiastic chatter, but Lois Leitz's perfect mouth and doe eyes kept flickering in his mind's eye.

Lois couldn't seen to force herself to relax. She was felt almost dizzy with apprehension. Thank god the meeting wasn't until tomorrow afternoon. She'd be a lot calmer if a certain law enforcement officer hadn't made his presence known. She knew it was unfair of her to attribute the cause of all of her anxiety to Sheriff Clark Kent. But she did it anyway. The man had definitely shaken her and not in a good way- well mostly not in a good way. Just because he was great ogling material did not mean she could let her guard down. In fact, it gave her more reason not to. Like she needed more reasons to be tense?

The only thing she liked about Clark Kent at the moment was his mother. How could a man that irritating have such an amazing mom? The dinner Mrs. Kent had cooked them was beyond delicious. And the homemade cherry pie she'd whipped up for dessert was even better. Of course, Lois hadn't eaten in what seemed like days, so a leather shoe would have probably tasted like heaven, too. Nevertheless, the brunette had at least two helpings of everything.

She'd liked Martha Kent instantly. But after that spectacular meal, it was now border lining love. She reminded Lois of an edgy, modern day Donna Reed. She was definitely in her element in the kitchen, however, the brunette had a feeling Mrs. Kent wasn't exactly opposed to working outside the home, either. Then again what did she know? Lois's mother and father had been shining examples of how not to parent.

"So, you girls have any plans for tonight?" Martha asked, conversationally.

"Nope. Just staying in," Lois shrugged. Smallville didn't exactly look like it was much of a party town. And for a girl who'd hustled pool and darts for the past few years to try and make ends meet, a country bar was the last place she wanted to be.

"Aw. C'mon, Lo. Let's go exploring! I'm sure this town has a few deep dark secrets we can dig up."

"Lucy-" Lois glanced at her sibling sharply, and then said through gritted teeth. "Aren't you tired from the drive, at all?"

"No."

Lois resisted banging her head on the nearest hard surface. For some unknown reason her sister never picked up on subtle nuances.

"Well, I am." She tried her best not to glare, but failed miserably.

"Lois, maybe getting a few brews wouldn't be such a bad idea," Chloe cut in gently. Lois opened her mouth to argue, but Martha interjected.

"You should try Sid's Place. It's not too far and it's very low key."

"Well-" Lois stalled, trying to think of a good enough reason for them to stay boarded up at the Kent farm without raising suspicions from their hostess. Although she had to admit a beer did sound pretty good. God knew her nerves could use a nice cold one, but- "I don't know. We have pretty big day tomorrow with filming- and everything-"

"All the more reason to try and relax," Chloe hinted. Unlike Lucy, Lois caught the blonde's underlying meaning. Lois sighed in defeat. Her cousin was right. If Lois walked into Lana's office tense and wound up, she'd blow everything. She needed to stay cool and collected. Panicking has never helped anyone. She could almost hear her mother's hypnotic-like voice resounding in her ears.

"I guess one beer couldn't hurt," the brunette reluctantly conceded.


After father and daughter left Shanghai Mama's, Tilly insisted they take a walk in the park to burn off the calories they'd just ingested. "At school, Mrs. Daily told us that if you don't exercise regularly or you'll get fat. Especially me, because I eat almost twice as much as everyone else!"

"You're teacher said that?" Clark was outraged that an educator would single out student like that.

"Well, not exactly, that's just what Tami told me last week at lunch. She said that if I kept eating like a pig I was gonna to turn into one."

Clark squeezed Tilly's hand affectionately, his daughter's precipitous change in best friends finally made sense to him. "Don't worry honey, you aren't going to get fat. You're just a growing girl, that's all." He reassured her.

"Do I eat so much because I'm special like you?" She asked, looking up at him with wide innocent eyes.

Clark stopped and brushed her unruly hair out her eyes, "yes, sweetie, because you're special just like me."

"I wish I could tell Tami that."

Clark sighed. He could empathize with the little girl. It wasn't easy keeping secrets and pretending to be something you weren't. But being his daughter, it was something she was going to have to do. He'd tried to keep her origins wrapped up until she was older, but it turns out Kara had been right. Girls do mature faster than boys.

So, when Tilly accidently ran across the state line, instead of just across the yard, he knew he had to tell her something. So, he used the explanation his parents had given him when he was younger- Clark told her that she was special and that she had to keep all of her special tricks a secret.

"I know honey," Clark crouched down so that he was eye level with his daughter. "But you know you can't tell a single soul, OK?"

"I know. I just don't like keeping secrets. And Mrs. Daily says that lying is wrong, too."

A thoughtful frown crossed Clark's features. "Sometimes," started choosing his words carefully. "Sometimes you lie to protect people you love, those kinds of lies aren't bad. Do you understand, Til? You're not doing anything wrong by lying about your- gifts."

"Are you sure? Cindy Connor says that people who lie won't get into heaven. She said they get sent," Tilly leaned in close to her father and whispered low, "down there." She pointed a finger toward the ground.

Clark furrowed his brows. "Who are you going to listen too? Me or Cindy Connor?"

Tilly's face scrunched up in concentration, as she weighed the question carefully. Finally, she looked at her father and smiled. "You." She answered decidedly.

Clark ruffled her hair and chuckled, "thanks, I think."

Tilly re-grasped her father's hand, as they started walking again. Clark saw the outline of the Metropolis University sign in the distance. The college was only a couple blocks away- "I've got to make a little stop before we head home, sweetie."

He had no real jurisdiction in the city. But he knew a couple of people who owed him favors that worked in the Met U admissions office. There were some perks to being a sheriff in a small town close to a major university.

Lois knew going out was a bad idea. She should have stuck with her plan of keeping a low profile, but no. Once again she'd given into peer pressure and she had no one to blame, but herself. Not only had she let her sister and cousin talk her into going to Sid's Place, but she'd somehow also allowed them to dress her, as well- big mistake. She looked like a hooker- a high-class hooker, but still- a hooker nonetheless.

"Will you stop doing that!" Lucy scolded for the millionth time, as Lois pulled self-consciously at her tight black skirt. "You look hot!"

"I look like I should be working the corner!" Lois snapped, tugging the zipper on her leather jacket higher. She could probably be arrested for the amount cleavage she was showing in Small Town USA. Why, oh why hadn't she insisted on looking in a mirror before they left? Instead, she'd caught a glimpse of her reflection in the front window of the bar and almost passed out.

The looks she'd been getting since the three of them entered the establishment had ranged from shocked and disgusted to sleazy and perverted. She felt like carnival sideshow attraction. Hadn't any of these people ever seen a scantily clad woman before? Jeez!

Lois took another gulp of her beer. The only good thing that had come out of her dressing like a tramp was that she hadn't had to pay for any of her drinks tonight. She was already on her fourth- or was it fifth? Oh, well. It didn't matter. Because as soon as she drained this long neck, they were leaving, she'd had her fill of leers, glares, and hand gestures for the night. And if she had to listen to another minute of Patsy Cline she'd murder somebody.

God, she needed a nicotine fix.

"Slow down, Cuz!" Chloe put her hand gingerly on Lois's beer. "It's not a race."

"The hell it isn't!" Lois grumbled, snatching her drink and placing out of her cousin's reach. "Haven't you seen the looks we've been getting?"

Chloe didn't get a chance to answer, because a large, robust red-neck, suddenly collided with their table. Lois grabbed her beer and eyed the unwelcome stranger with annoyance and malice. He'd almost spilled her beer! Bastard!

"Can we help you?" Lois snapped.

The man held on to the sides of the table to steady himself. Lois could smell cheap whiskey and stale cigarettes on his breath. "My buddy an' I was jus-" he cut off as a loud, disgusting burp escaped his mouth. "We was wonderin-," he slurred, his unfocused gaze falling to zipper on Lois's jacket, a debauched smile curling at his lips. "How much d'you charge, honey?"

That was it. She had to get out or she was going to do something like drop this ugly creep on his, drunk, fat ass, even though she knew that would only add to her already abundant supply of problems. But God, would it make her feel better. Barely containing her violent urges, Lois took a final swig of her beer and hopped, well tried to hop at least, up from the table and looked Jethro right in his beady little bloodshot eyes.

"You couldn't afford me, asshole."

She tried to make a clean get away. But her new vertical position was creating problems and she hit her ankle on the leg of a chair. Cursing under her breath, she regained her equilibrium and started moving toward the door, again. Chloe and Lucy tried to grab her arm, but Lois shook them off. "I just need some air. I'll be right back."

The cousins exchanged glances, but let her go. Lois spun back around and had to catch herself. When had the room started spinning? God! How many beers had she drunk? Blinking rapidly, while trying to maintain her balance, the brunette wobbled unsteadily to the front door of the bar. Screw the ten-step program. She needed a cigarette and she needed one now.

She prayed none of the creepy hick stalkers would follow her. She turned not so sharply to the left and around the corner of the bar once she made it outside. It was muggy and hot, but at least she felt like she could breath and there was no Patsy Cline. She leaned against the brick siding and pulled out an emergency cigarette and a book of matches from her clutch.

If this didn't constitute as an emergency she didn't know what did.

She stuck the filter between her lips and lit the match. However, when she tried to light her cigarette a strange gust of wind came and blew it out. She tried three more times, even when she attempted to shield the flame with her hand, it still went out. Every. Single. Time. Lois growled irately and pleaded with her matches. "Not now. C'mon! Don't do this to me!"

"Those things can kill you, you know." A deep, annoyingly familiar voice informed her. She let out a heavy breath and slid down the wall. Great. Just perfect! This was all she needed!

"Don't you have parking tickets to issue or jay walkers to reprimand or something?" She asked, looking up at the Sheriff. Except, he wasn't wearing his uniform anymore. Instead, he was dressed in a red and gold stripped plaid shirt and blue jeans. Lois wondered if this town had some sort of dress code she wasn't aware of.

Clark smirked and sat down on the ground beside her. "Nope. Not tonight."

"Look, I really don't need the third degree right now. And throwing questions at me while I'm intoxicated could be viewed as entrapment and inadmissible in a court of law."

"You're a very wordy drunk, you know that?"

"And you're a very irritating person."

Clark didn't take to the bait. "I didn't know you were a smoker," he changed the subject swiping the small caner stick from her fingers and tossing it in the nearest garbage can.

"That's because I didn't tell- Hey! What the hell did you do that for?" Lois cried, as she lunged desperately toward the trashcan. That was her last one, dammit!

"I told you those things will kill you," Clark answered, grabbing her by the elbow, pulling her back.

Lois tried to twist out of his hold, but she lost her balance and fell- right into the sheriff's lap. "Get off me!" She pushed at his chest, attempting to scramble as quickly as possible out of his grip. But Clark locked his arms around her waist and held her firmly against him. Her back pressed against his chest. He tried not to think about where her bottom was situated.

Lois wasn't sure if it was the booze, her anger, or the combination of both that made her vision suddenly hazy. "Let me go you cigarette Nazi!" She tried to struggle and squirm her way out of his lap, but his arms held her like a vice. It was like trying to escape from a hard place while a rock restrained you.

"Stop moving!" Clark clenched his jaw and recited the Pledge of Allegiance in his head. "Calm down! Jeez! You are the most wound up woman I've ever met!"

"You know what would calm me down?" She bit out, "A cigarette!"

Clark flinched. And Lois started wiggling again. "Would you stop that?" He cried, mentally switching from The Pledge to naming all the American presidents in order- and their Vice-Presidents.

"Let me go!"

"Will you promise not to go trash diving, if I do?"

"Only if you promise buy me a new pack."

Clark shook his head. "How about I buy you some Nicorette gum, instead?"

Lois rolled her eyes, "deal. Now. Let. Go."

Clark released her and Lois rose from his lap, glaring at him. "What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"So is that how you run this town? Impugning on a person's god given right to kill themselves slowly with lung cancer if they want to!"

"Are you sure there wasn't crack in that thing?" Clark asked.

Lois was about at her limit. "Would you just leave me and my family the hell alone?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because I know you're hiding something."

"Who died and made you god? I have a right to secrets."

"Not the kind that break the law."

Lois tried to look unfazed, but in her intoxicated stupor she didn't know if she pulled it off or not. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I went to Met U today."

"Your point?"

"I have a few friends up there that work at the admissions office. "He watched her expression closely, looking for any signs of panic or discomfort. "You and your sister aren't in the system. In fact, there's no history of you ever being enrolled there, at all."

Only one thought entered Lois's mind at that moment: Fuck.

TBC

A/N: Please leave me comments! Thank you! Good/Bad/Indifferent. I'm not picky!
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