Wish A Little Wish

Dean went into his bathroom, took care of his business and brushed his teeth then came back into his room, got dressed and walked through the connecting doors and didn't see Sam right away. Then he saw the sheer curtains near the sliding door billow in the breeze and realized that was where Sam had gone.

As he quietly walked toward the door he saw Sam sitting alone on his balcony with his face in his hands. The sight almost broke Dean … and the thought that what they had shared last night was in any way a source of pain for Sam. But he was determined, Sam was not running away again.

Walking through the door unnoticed by Sam, he squatted down in front of his brother and put his hands on the tops of Sammy's thighs and said, "Look at me Sam."

Sam didn't move, for the longest time and Dean didn't think that Sam would look at him. When Sam finally raised his head to meet Dean's, Dean's heart almost did break. "Sam, I know you're freaked out but you said that you were done running and so am I. I meant what I said about you being my 'baby boy' and you need to realize that, I love you. This is real and if you want to think about it a little, that's fine...but I am not giving you an easy out and I'm not gonna pretend that last night didn't happen. How can I pretend that the best night of my life didn't happen?"

Dean stood up and looked down at Sam. "So give it a good think through right now, and get over it and come on in the room when you're ready and we can go have breakfast and coffee. Got it?" With that, Dean turned and walked back inside. He really didn't think it would go as smoothly as he had suggested, but he felt compelled to go on record with Sam that he wasn't expecting too much emo crap and that Sam needed to man up and deal with it.

Staring at the blue ocean, Sam thought it wasn't fair. Dean made it sound so easy. As if everything hadn't changed in one freakin' night. Everything. Dean had no idea how much that scared him

One thing Dean was right about though. That had been the best night in Sam's life too. Hands down, it beat every other experience he ever had. Yeah, he'd loved women, and he'd been in love with them. But with Dean, it was like Dean said... he did belong to him. Somehow that was the truth. It just was.

He turned his head to look through the window and found that his room was empty. Should he have seen this coming? That was part of the problem. He hadn't had a clue, not one… not in all the years. There were times when he'd been obsessed with his brother, but he'd thought it was about wanting to 'be Dean'… not about 'wanting Dean.' Talk about a big difference. Huge.

He got up and gripped the railing and delayed some more. Fighting his demons, and there were plenty there. So many doubts, so many questions. And no answers, no real ones. No, that wasn't quite accurate. There was one answer. He did love Dean. He'd always loved him more than anyone or anything. More than their father, more than the mother he'd never known. And now… His heart constricted, did he love him in a new way? What did that mean to them?

He finally pushed away from the railing and walked inside, moving with heavy steps to the connecting doors where he stood inside the frame, leaning against it until Dean looked away from the television and locked gazes with him. There was a warning in his brother's eyes, one that made Sam's stomach muscles tighten.

"I just... I always just wanted to be normal. Then I find out I have demon blood in me, and these freaking powers." He licked his lips, and tried not to remember how good Dean felt under him, over him... next to him. "And now I'm lusting after my own brother. That's not normal Dean. Why can't I have normal?" It was no less than a plea.

"Sam, what in our lives has been normal? Kind of think the 'normal' train left the station and we weren't on it."

Dean stood up and walked over to where Sam was standing in the doorway and stopped in front of him. He reached up and put his hand behind Sam's head and pulled him down for a kiss, just like that was the way he kissed Sam every morning when he woke up, even though this was the first morning he had done so.
"You really want normal Sam? Seriously? Because I'd trade, no, I did trade every bit of normal that I had for this, for you. Don't you get it? It's just you and me, there isn't anyone else."

Sam flinched. Dean hadn't meant it that way, but it was true. Their lives had changed for one reason alone. The YED had been after him as a baby, and his family had to turn into hunters. Give up normal.

"So... what? We just wake up, kiss good morning, go hunting... fight like married couples, and then fall into bed like... like last night?" He felt the heat steal up his cheeks. "It's just that easy?" he spread his hands as he asked.

Looking at Sam, Dean could see the inner conflict written all over his face and in his body language. But he could also see in his eyes that even though his mind was making him ask those things, what he really wanted, no matter how wrong he thought it might be, what he really wanted was Dean.

"Well, yeah...I'm gonna kiss you in the morning," Dean said as he pulled Sam in for another little kiss and nibbled on his lips, then deepened the kiss and as he pulled back, sucked on Sammy's tongue so slowly, till it slipped from his lips. "You have a problem with that?"

Sam stood there stunned, with a bemused look on his face and shook his head, 'no'.

"Yes, we are going to go hunting. That's our job and nothing there has changed, but no, we are not going to fight like married couples. Dude you're my brother and if we fight, it is going to be like it always has been. I don't want to marry you, but, I do want to fall into bed like last night, I want to sex you up against a wall, and in the shower, on your knees for me, on your back, I want to taste you all over, I want to slick you up and slide into you and make you come so hard, I want you to suck my dick all the time that I'm not fucking you, and if you play your cards right, I might let you do the same things to me. We are partners, nothing has changed, and everything has changed."

In the face of Sam's stunned silence, Dean continued. "Come on Sam, I know you're man enough to handle all this. Dude, you gave me the best blow job I ever had and now you're getting all shy on me? Hell no, it's not easy, but is anything that is worth it ever easy?"

Sam's heart flip flopped over and over as Dean described the things they were going to do. Seriously, he hadn't even thought that far ahead. The thought of Dean inside him... that made him swallow. It scared him a little, but the intensity in Dean's eyes ... the need... hell, just imagining how it would be got Sam hot and bothered.

"You're amazing." He pointed a finger to stop Dean before he claimed credit. "No, I meant 'outrageous.' And you're about ten steps ahead of me." So what else was new? He nodded again. "Okay. Okay, Dean. I've got some catching up to do, and I need coffee. But I also need you." Lowering his head, this time he took control of Dean's mouth in a hot, blistering kiss, meant to show him that the younger Winchester could give as good as he got.
When his baby boy leaned in and gave him that perfect kiss, Dean knew for sure that even if he was ten steps ahead of Sam on this, that Sammy was definitely with the program. Licking his lips, then rubbing his thumb across his lower lip when Sam got done plundering his mouth, Dean told Sam, "Let's go get coffee, and if you have catching up to do, you can come back here and look at internet porn and I'll go sit near the pool. That gonna work for you?"

Dean laughed at the expression on Sam's face, then added, "Come on Sam, you know all that stuff I said I want to do with you, I've never done any of that either. It's just last night was so incredible that my whole body feels like it is just humming and I've been thinking of all the things we could do. I'm totally good with on the job experience, but if it makes you more comfortable doing research, then by all means, knock yourself out."

How'd he know? How'd he always know? Shaking his head, Sam walked out. This was not a conversation he was gonna win, and he wasn't gonna give Dean any reasons or opportunity to tease him.

Not that dumb.

* * *

It was kind of weird not hunting, not investigating, not finding themselves in the seediest parts of town. But damned easy to get used to, thought Sam.

For such an awfully abnormal day, they sure were doing a lot of what the normal people in the world did. They were on vacation, for one. An actual holiday, a break... no work at all. They were in a great hotel, eating, drinking and playing sports... with other people. They read the paper, discussed the non-weird news and even went canoeing.

And throughout the day, Sam would catch Dean looking at him just so, and suddenly his pulse would race. Or his heart would kick up, because he could read Dean... know what he was thinking, just as well as his brother could read him. Just based on that, it was pretty damned amazing that they'd only kissed each other breathless once, though he did owe Dean for waylaying him in the bathroom near the pool, of all places. Didn't the guy know how pervy that made them look? Okay, dumb question...

When he'd had enough fun, he'd snuck up to his room and done his research. Thinking Dean would get a kick out of it, he bookmarked some instructive pages and even a diagram, and left the computer on Dean's bed with a big yellow sticky on it.

And now, Sam found himself sitting at the bar, talking to Lorne. The guy seemed to know everything about everything, including what was going on in Sam's life. When he tried to give him one of those fruity things, Sam was ready and raised his hand. "Uh uh, those got me in enough trouble already. Just a beer."

Lorne laughed. "Anything you want sweetie." Opening a bottle for Sam, he passed it to him and leaned across the bar. "Don't be nervous, you'll just have to relax and let it happen."

Sam spewed a mouthful of beer as Lorne proceeded to advise him on the best lube, and that the little store in the lobby carried it.
"And if you need any hands-on instructions?" Lorne went on, as if he didn't see the older Winchester approaching.

Dean had gone back to the room to clean up and found the laptop on the bed with a snarky note from Sam telling him to get studying. Well, hell. His baby boy just may be a freak after all. The first sites that he had bookmarked looked pretty mild, but then he had marked some more interesting and actually very kinky sites. Dean wasn't exactly sure if Sammy wanted to go there or he was just trying to freak Dean out as payback for the way he'd startled Sam with his bold ideas this morning. Whatever Sam wanted to do was going to be just fine with Dean, he'd go at Sam's pace as long as Sam didn't run away from him again.

Approaching the bar Dean saw Sam sitting at the bar being chatted up by that bartender, Lorne. Dean wasn't necessarily jealous, but wanted to be sure in no uncertain terms, that Lorne knew Sam was off limits. Let Lorne know in essence mine.

Sam was sitting on a barstool that didn't have a back on it leaning forward and Dean walked up behind him while he was making eye contact with Lorne the entire time. Dean put one hand on Sam's hip and the other hand on his shoulder and leaned in, giving Sam a quick kiss on the neck, "Sammy, I thought I'd find you here."

Dean enjoyed Sam's befuddled expression at receiving such a public display of affection from his brother, but even though Sam blushed he could feel his body react to his claiming in front of Lorne. It kind of made Dean seem a little bit like a caveman, and frankly, Dean didn't give a shit.

"Hey, Lorne. Give me a beer, will ya?" said Dean with a huge smile as he slid onto the stool next to Sam and put his arm across his shoulder.

"Cut it out, Dean." Sam appeared to be smiling too, only he was actually speaking through gritted teeth as he managed to shrug Dean's arm off and gave him a look. It seemed perfectly alright somehow to touch and kiss here, at the Cabana Club, nothing anyone did fazed anyone else. But what bugged him was that he knew why Dean had done it, and it was so freakin' obvious that Lorne would too. "Not real necessary," he said under his breath, his gaze battling the amusement in his brother's eyes.

"Oh, no worries, sweetie… we're all family here," Lorne said getting Dean his drink.

Family. Could these two embarrass him anymore? Sam looked anywhere but at them.

"So you boys have your evening cut out for you," the bartender said, wiping the bar top. "I was just telling Sam here that the store…"

Sam started coughing, and clearing his throat. "Gum. They have great gum there," he filled in, begging Lorne with his eyes not to go there now.

Dean smacked Sam on the back. Whatever. Dean didn't know Sam to be a huge gum chewing kind of guy, but, hell you never knew with Sam. Besides, this resort had all kinds of interesting things, maybe Lorne had clued Sam in to something exotic that he couldn't get just anywhere. "Sam, you okay?" Dean finished smacking Sam's back and started rubbing big circles across his upper back.

Sam just nodded and took another drink of his beer while giving Dean what he hoped was a warning look from the corner of his eye.

Dean was not as oblivious as Sam thought, but just kept being Dean. The charming one with the smile that could light up a room. He got a dialog going with Lorne while he nursed his beer and occasionally would touch Sam, on his back, or his thigh, or his arm, all casual and as if it wasn't pre-planned to drive Sam insane.

Dean and Lorne talked about the weather, how long Lorne had been at the Cabana Club, and then Dean asked whether there were any other activities that he recommended that he and Sam hadn't tried yet. That last one actually made Sam choke on the sip of beer he was swallowing at the exact second those words had come out of Dean's mouth.
Dean reached over and patted Sam on the back again, "Dude, you okay? You know it really helps to swallow if you open your throat."

"He's absolutely right," Lorne chimed in.

How had his relaxing drink at the bar gone to this? Sam's entire body was all tight and on edge, waiting for Dean's next touch, and he was sitting here worrying about what would come out of these two jokers' mouths next.

Sliding off the stool, Sam intentionally kept distance between himself and Dean. "You guys keep doing what you're doing, I'll be back later. Maybe we can get some dinner at the pool side cafe?" He directed that to his brother since he was constantly hungry.
Giving another shake of his head at their antics, he left them behind.

Dean just watched his brother walk away and told Lorne that he'd like another beer.

As Lorne placed the beer on the bar in front of Dean, Lorne said, "You know, you shouldn't tease him so much. I think he's kind of scared."

"What do you know about it, anyway?" Dean asked almost aggressively.

"Bartender, Dean. I've seen a lot in my day and I can see a budding romance in the making, and I can tell he's frightened. I'm not just talking about the physical part of it, but the emotional stuff too. He didn't say anything to me, it was just the vibe that I was picking up," Lorne said all this with a very even voice and his hands held up letting Dean know that he didn't mean any harm and was just trying to help.

Dean nodded his head, and looked off in the direction that Sam had gone. He was no longer there to be seen, so he turned back around and said to Lorne, "Well, you're right. I guess what they say about bartenders and barbers is true, they do have a lot of insight into people's heads. Do you cut hair too?" Dean added that last part with a chuckle for Lorne to let him know he wasn't mad.

Dean and Lorne chatted for a while longer and then Dean decided to see if he could go and find Sam so they could have that dinner on the patio. Now that he thought about it, Dean was starved.

*

After turning all shades of red, Sam had finally paid for his purchase at the counter. It felt like the first time he'd gone out to buy condoms... same sweaty palms, same fear of the cashier giving a double take of his purchase, but it was over quickly.

He'd pulled the narrow rectangular box out of the bag and was reading it as he walked out of the store when he saw a familiar figure approaching. Shit! He'd thought he'd get it to the room before dinner. Now he was blanching and shoving the box and bag behind him before Dean started on him.

Dean's first instinct when he saw Sam come out of the store with something in his hand that he shoved behind his back as soon as Sam saw him was to immediately start razzing Sam and trying to see what he was hiding. But, something about what Lorne had said to him stuck with him about not teasing Sam so much so Dean did something completely out of character for him, he just let it slide. He acted like a grown up and pretended that he hadn't seen a thing.

"Oh good. I was looking for you, I'm starved. We gonna eat or what?" was all that Dean said to Sam with an almost shy smile, wanting Sam to be comfortable around him and not frightened about what Dean was hoping would be happening between the two of them later after dinner.

Having Sam freaked out, even if he was just teasing was a bad idea. If he needed to make a joke later to break the ice he would, but he decided to be extremely solicitous throughout dinner and till they got back to the room. Almost like being on a date and on his best behavior.

Sam searched Dean's face and found no double meanings in what he said or his expression. "Yeah, we'd better. Cause you gotta be starving, after eating only a huge breakfast, lunch and having those mid day snacks they were passing around. I'm amazed you've got the strength to keep standing." Grinning, he shoved his hands in his pockets, pushing the small box and paper out of view, and elbowing Dean lightly as he passed, leading the way to the café.

It was a bit weird at first, acting normal, eating and talking, neither of them saying a thing about the obvious, not even when a guest came by and asked if they wanted to go to the luau on the beach later that night. Sam had expected Dean to pop off with something, about a hot date or sexing... something snarky or embarrassing, but he'd just said they were playing it by ear.

Okay maybe he was looking for a reason to be nervous, but Dean wasn't giving him one. Sam could only be on edge for so long before he slipped into normal. As Dean shoved food into his mouth, Sam told him some of his theories about where the coven of witches might be located, and how they'd misread the clues.

When the waitress came, they both said "beer" at the same time. Sam gave a chuckle. "You're afraid as I am of those damned umbrella drinks, admit it." It was true.

After dinner, the waiter came to the table and let them know they had a special dessert bar with a variety of desserts for their enjoyment. Sam just put up his hand giving the sign that he was stuffed and was fine just sitting and waiting for Dean to go pick something out for himself.

Dean headed inside to the dessert bar where they had an attendant available to answer questions and make suggestions, or put special requests together. "Man, you have at least one of everything here. What do you recommend," Dean asked the attendant.

"Well, sir, it depends on what you like," he replied.

"I really like pie, but I have that all of the time. I do like ice cream and chocolate and ooh, what are those?" Dean asked pointing to something on the display.

"Those are crepes, sir. I can make you some fresh crepes right here, they are like a very thin pancake which I can fill with whatever you want. Very delicious, sir. I think you will like them."

*

While Dean was taking his sweet time at the dessert bar, Sam wandered to the edge of the patio. The cafe was up on the cliffs, above the hotel and bar. It had a really great view, though there was a bit of a climb from the hotel to the restaurant.

He was looking down at the beach, where torches were being lit and the luau was starting, when something made him look straight down. At the foot of the cliffs, he saw a hand coming out of the water, then he heard a cry. If he hadn't seen the hand, he would never have heard it.
Without thought, he hopped over the glass fence, took a deep breath and dove into the dangerous waters below, hoping to hell there weren't any hidden rocks.

About five minutes later, Dean carried out his crepes that were loaded with ice-cream, fruit and nuts and then covered in some liqueur which had been set ablaze back to their table, but Sammy was nowhere to be seen.

However, there was some major commotion and someone was saying something about, "He jumped..."

Dean heard the words, "He jumped..." and dropped the plate of crepes on the table and rushed over to the edge of the patio. He had a sinking feeling in his stomach. 'Where was Sam?' Could they be talking about Sam? Why would Sam jump over the cliff and into the ocean? It didn't make any sense.

Oh my god, it was like that scene in Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid, where Sundance didn't want to jump off the cliff because he couldn't swim and Butch told him, 'Hell, the fall will kill, ya.' It was that kind of cliff. It didn't matter how good a swimmer you were, that was a hell of a fall.

He started asking questions, one after the other. "Who jumped? Who actually saw him? Did anyone hear anything before he went over?" Then he took off running down the path from the restaurant to the beach. He would be no help to Sammy if he got hurt following the same path that his brother had taken. He needed to get to the beach right now. He was panicked at what he would find. It wasn't even clear that from where Sam had jumped he could have hit the water. He had a bigger chance of hitting the rocks.

Dean reached the area that he estimated was near where Sam had gone over, but the beach ended there as the rocks met the water. "Sam! Sam!" he yelled over and over.

Several people had followed him and he was trying to see if Sam's broken body was on the rocks, but it didn't appear so. That meant he made it into the water but there was no sign of him.

Dean continued to shout for his brother, "Sam! Sam! Answer me, dammit. Come on, Sammy, where the hell are you. Don't you do this to me!" He started to take off his boots and strip out of his own clothes so that he could enter the water and look for his brother without worrying about the weight of his clothes pulling him down.

He was grabbed by several hands and heard disconnected words telling him, "No, it's too dangerous. We'll get a boat, we'll get some floodlights, you can't go in there, you'll kill yourself."

Dean was beside himself and struggled to break free and get into the water to do what he could to help find Sam. But the hands holding him were too strong. The next thing he knew is he had been pushed down to a sitting position in the sand, and Lorne was kneeling in front of him.

"Don't worry Dean, we'll find him. They're getting lights the boat's on the way. They're doing everything they can. It's too dangerous for you to go in too. What will I tell him when they bring him back, that you went into the ocean and got yourself killed? I know it is hard, but you have to wait this one out. You'll see, they'll find him," Lorne told Dean all of this with one hand on his shoulder and gave him a little squeeze at the end.
Dean sat there with his head in his hands and tears running down his face with Lorne right next to him, thinking 'No, no...not again. Dammit, Sam, I can't lose you again...."

*

Sam fought. He fought the water. He fought the blackness. He fought the rocks that he kept banging onto, and he fought to hang onto the kid. The current was strong, too strong for them, and yet he hung on. Only one word was torn from his mouth, his brother's name. Dean would get him... he wouldn't give up, not until he found him.

It seemed like hours, but only because his muscles were screaming with pain. A light was coming closer. A boat. He only had to hang on a little while longer.

And then hard hands were dragging the kid out of his arms, and then pulling him into the small fishing boat. Sam coughed out the water that had been choking him, got on his hands and knees and looked at the child. The others in the boat had already helped the kid who had a big gash on his head, and tears were streaming down his face, but he was fine. They kind of just smiled at each other. They'd survived.

Someone explained that the boy had been on a raft and that the current had taken him to the cliffs. Sam knew once they got to shore the kids parents would be ecstatic... that was something he always looked forward to. Dean... well he'd probably kick his ass for interrupting dessert.
The boat started to sway harder, and a couple of people got out and pulled it to shore. Just as he got out, he saw a group of people running down the beach toward them. "The welcoming party," he said, shaking the water off himself.

"I'm gonna kill him! Let me through. Lorne, help me get these people out of the way," Dean implored of the bartender. And, then he saw Sam, all wet, handing a child out of the boat and into the arms of what must have been the kid's parents. The parents appeared a little the worse for wear with worry, kind of like Dean looked.

The tears had stopped streaming down Dean's face and the second he saw his brother standing in front of him, alive he almost lost it. He ran forward and grabbed Sam in a huge hug, right there in front of everyone. "Sam, dammit! Don't you ever do that to me again. I couldn't live without you."

And he couldn't hold it back any longer, he reached up and grabbed Sam by the back of the head and pulled him down for a kiss, a kiss full of relief that he hadn't lost the one person that had meant more to him his entire life than any other person or thing.

At first, it seemed that Sam was fully participating in the kiss, but suddenly he felt Sam stiffen in his arms and struggle to pull out of Dean's embrace and break the kiss.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" Dean asked sure that something serious must be wrong.
The hug, Sam could have lived with. But the over-reaction? The public declaration... the kiss like he'd just come back from the dead instead of just another day in the lives of the Winchesters where they saved lives. Just like that, Dean robbed Sam of his illusions of normalcy.

"Stop it." He shoved Dean completely away from him, hating that his body had other ideas. "You're making an ass of yourself, and me... dammit." He started to storm away, trying to deal with the feelings bubbling up inside him. So many. So confusing.
He felt Dean come up behind him and grab his arm. "Cut it out, Dean, I'm serious," he pulled away roughly, glaring at him. The steely look creeping into Dean's eyes didn't faze him. He just walked away again, cursing at his clothing dripping with water and his shoes making ridiculous sounds once he reached the walkway toward the hotel.

What the hell? One second Dean was standing and holding Sam in his arms and kissing him because he was so glad to see him delivered safely ashore and all in one piece, and above all else, not dead, and the next minute Sam shoved him away and said things that cut him to the bone.

Things that he thought they had an understanding about now. They were together and no one here knew they were brothers, they were just two guys here on vacation that happened to have a relationship, as far as anyone else knew. And what business was it of anyone else's anyway? If anyone was over-reacting it was Sam. Dean felt his reaction at not having lost Sam a second time was very reasonable and he couldn't figure out what his brother's problem was. But it wasn't like he was going to get a chance to find out yet, as Sam shook his hand off again and stomped away.

All that Dean could do was to follow Sam and try to catch up and talk to him. If he could just talk to Sam and get him to listen it would be alright again. He was heartbroken on the beach thinking that Sam had been taken from him by the sea, and his relief at having him back was short-lived and he was almost heartbroken watching his brother willingly walk away from him, again.

"Goddammit, Sam. Will you stop so we can talk about this? What the hell is the matter with you?" Dean called after Sam as he followed him in the direction of their rooms.

Reaching the door to his room, Sam rounded on Dean. Fuck, he hadn't realized Dean was so close... so close he could feel his body heat through the wet clothes. His self preservation instincts kicked in and he put his hand out. "Back off."

Pulling his gaze away, he quickly unlocked the door and walked in, starting to shut it in Dean's face. He needed to think, and he needed to do it without Dean in his space.

(A/N: If you want notice of updates on my fics, please sign up to the yahoo group on my profile. If you enjoy this fic, you may like "An Unholy Union" - Spike/Dean. Comments much appreciated)