Reap the Whirlwind

"Don't make me whip it out and show you!" Autolycus said as he and Iolaus continued their argument over breakfast.



"Sure." said Iolaus. "Let me go get a magnifying glass."



"And anyway, it's how you use it that matters."



"Yeah, Joxer uses yours with a pair of tweezers." Iolaus snickered.



Before Autolycus could retort, he felt warm air blow on his cheek "He needs you." a soft voice whispered.



"What?" Autolycus turned to the sound.



"You heard me!" Iolaus laughed, thinking Auto was responding to him. "It's so small you can pick your teeth with it!"



"Hurry!" the voice whispered again. A warm gust of air nearly knocked Auto out of his seat. "He needs you now!"



"Who?" Autolycus asked.



"Whatsa matter, Auto?" laughed Iolaus. "No more snappy comebacks?"



"Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!" the whispering voice urged as warm air urged Autolycus to walk out the door.



"Oh, you're just gonna walk away?" asked Iolaus. "Well, I guess that means I can finish his breakfast for him."



Autolycus walked out the front door of the inn. "Where?" he asked.



"This way." the warm wind blew him in the direction of the barn. "Hurry! Hurry!"



"I can't outrun the wind!" he protested. It seemed like the very wind he was talking to.



"He needs you! Hurry!"



/Who needs me? Joxer?/ His heart contracted at the thought of his love in peril. He followed the wind to the barn. Autolycus walked in, and the sight tore his heart to shreds. "Joxer!" he shouted, running to his side. "Joxer, baby, please, speak to me." His face was pale white, the wan cheeks streaked with tears. His lips were an unhealthy shade of blue. The pulse was there. Dreadfully slow, but there. He showed no signs of breathing. "Joxer, Joxer you have to breathe! Please!"



Another gust of warm air. A flurry of flower petals. A young man with a pretty face and wispy blond hair materialized with iridescent wings on his back. Autolycus looked up at the newcomer. "If you're one of Hades' minions," he said. "You can just fuck yourself! You can't have him!" Autolycus leaned protectively over the body.



"You can save him." said the apparition. "He needs a mortal to breathe for him."



"How do I do that?"



"Lay him out flat." Autolycus did so. "Tilt his head back slightly. Lock your mouth over his and pinch his nose shut." he said. "And breathe air into him. Keep doing it until his lungs are full again."



"OK, OK, I can do that." Autolycus tilted Joxer's head back and pinched his nose shut. He took a deep breath and let it out as his mouth locked with Joxer's. He blew in several more breaths. "Please don't leave me." he gasped between breaths. "I love you."



Joxer could hear Autolycus' voice in the dark oblivion he was trapped in. He was begging him not to leave him. /I'm not going anywhere./ Joxer mentally answered. /I'm right here./ He felt a sudden stinging sensation in his chest as his lungs were full once more. "Joxer, Joxer, please, come back to me." Auto sounded close to tears. He opened his eyes to see his beloved's face. /Why is he pinching my nose?/ Auto smiled at him.



"Joxer? Joxer! He's awake! Oh, gods, Joxer, I thought I was gonna lose you!" It would have been terrible enough had Joxer ended their relationship because he was unhappy. To have him dead, the world forever bereft of such a gentle soul, knowing that no amount of begging would ever bring him back was unthinkable.



"Auto..." Joxer gasped weakly.



"Shh, don't try to speak, babe." Auto said, stroking his face. "Save your breath." /Literally./ "Would you like to sit up? Just nod or shake your head." Joxer nodded and Auto helped him sit up, letting the younger man use his chest as a pillow when he was too lightheaded to sit upright.



"You have given him air to breathe," Auto had almost forgotten about the being that had led him to Joxer. "But it won't last long. Hera's enforcer stole his breath. Until it is returned, you must see that his lungs are kept full."



"OK." said Auto. "Jox, listen to me. You need to breathe nice and slow. If you feel like you're going to pass out, squeeze my hand." He took Joxer's hand in his. "You got that?" Joxer nodded. Auto turned to the winged stranger. "I hate to admit it, but I need Hercules. I need him to get Joxer's breath back."



"My brother Boreas is already contacting him." he said. "My other brother, Notus, is fetching the items he will need to face the enforcer."



"And who are you?"



"My name is Zephyr."

*************************************************************



Hercules had the misfortune of being stopped by Falafel in the streets of Thrace. "You have to try this new dish!" he insisted. "I call them chicken nuggets! I take bits and pieces of the chicken that would otherwise go to waste, mash them together and fry them to a golden brown!"



"Uh...which part of the chicken?" Hercules had to ask.



"Oh, you know, the skin, the gizzard, the bits off the back and ribs, you know, the left over bits. They're bite sized! Try one!"



Before Hercules could politely refuse, a blast of cold wind caused them both to shiver. "This is unseasonably cold." Falafel commented.



Hercules saw a flurry of snowflakes form into the image of an old man with large grey feathered wings and wearing a black cloak before him. "Hercules," the old man said. "Your life is in grave danger."



"So what else is new?" Hercules sighed.



"I'd say a freezing wind in the middle of summer is rather new!" said Falafel.



"Oh, excuse me." said Hercules. "I was just talking to a man who isn't there. We'd better be going."



Falafel watched Hercules leave with the man who wasn't there. "Hercules has an imaginary friend now?" he asked himself. "He must be going crazy! First sign of insanity is standing around and talking to yourself." Suddenly, he realized that he was doing that just now.



"Boreas, right?" Hercules guessed as he walked side by side with his new companion.



"You know any other old men with impressive wings who can make it snow in the summer?"



"Only the God of the North Wind could do that."



"I'll get right to it, Hercules." said Boreas. "Hera has sent another enforcer to find you. A wind enforcer this time."



"Another enforcer?" Hercules stopped short and remembered the other two enforcers. "Iolaus!" Hercules raced back to the last place he had seen his partner.



Boreas shook his head. "I tell him that Hera's sent the enforcer for him, and he worries about that mortal friend of his? He must be going mad. He'll be talking to himself before you know it."



Horrible images of Iolaus being mutilated by the last two enforcers plagued Hercules' memory. He had to make sure Iolaus was safe. There he was. At the bar, finishing Autolycus' breakfast. "Morning, Herc." he said. "Nice trick you played on me and Autolycus this morning. Very cute."



"Iolaus!" Hercules embraced his beloved.



"Hey, it's OK. I forgive you." laughed Iolaus. "Just don't ever put me in bed with Autolycus again, OK? Bad enough I had to nurse a hangover without...."



"Iolaus, Hera created another enforcer." said Hercules. "After what happened with the other two, I was so sure you were...."



"Someone else suffered at the hands of the wind enforcer." Hercules wondered how Boreas slipped up behind him so quickly. Oh, that's right, god powers. "If you would save him, you must capture the wind enforcer so that he may have his breath back. My youngest brother Zephyr is in the barn with him. He has found a mortal willing to lend his breath to keep his lungs working until you capture the wind enforcer."



"Tell me where she is." said Hercules.



"How should I know?" asked Iolaus.



"Boreas," Hercules sighed. "Can you make yourself visible for Iolaus here?"



"I would fain speak with you in private." Hercules felt another blast of cold air as a snow flurry filled his vision. When the snowflakes went away, he found himself and Iolaus in a barn. Autolycus was fairly cradling Joxer's limp body and holding his hand. A fair young man with colorful wings stood nearby.



"Autolycus..." Hercules knelt by the thief's side, knowing exactly what he was going through just now. "I'm so sorry."



"Zephyr's been tellin' me how to keep him breathing." said Autolycus. "For now. Hercules, get Joxer his breath back, and I'll never ask you for anything ever again."



"You don't need to make bargains with me, Autolycus." said Hercules. "I'm going after the enforcer and bringing back Joxer's breath before she hurts anyone else."



"I'm going with you." said Iolaus.



"Iolaus, you can't...."



"Don't even try talking me out of it, Hercules!" Iolaus cut him off. "Back to back. We promised."



"It may well take at least two to capture the wind enforcer." said Boreas. "As Hera's creation is an imbalance of nature, the Anemoi is willing to aid your quest."



A pillar of fog formed, surrounded by a flurry of autumn leaves. A man with long auburn hair and dressed in earth tones appeared with a pair of russet colored wings on his back. He had a coiled rope in one hand and a leather bag in the other. "Here they are, Boreas." he said. "The Bag of Astraeus and the Lasso of Thymascerra."



"Good work, Notus." said Boreas. "Hercules, you and Iolaus are being leant these magical items to control the enforcer." Notus gave them the items.



"Wow." Iolaus said, inspecting the non-descript leather. "A real wind bag!"



Autolycus looked at the bag critically. "You're gonna need a bigger bag." he said.



"The Bag of Astraeus can hold any wind of any size." said Notus.

"Notus and I will help you corral her." said Boreas. "Let us hope we can do this with minimal damage."



"Let's do this!" Iolaus said enthusiastically.



"We'll be back soon with Joxer's breath, Autolycus." Hercules said as they left. "I promise."



"You've never broken your word before, Hercules." Autolycus said softly. "Please don't start now."

****************************************************************



Townspeople ran for cover as an erratic tornado swept the streets. Anything that wasn't nailed down went flying. People screamed. Animals called out in panic. Falafel's chicken nuggets were flying everywhere. In the midst of the swirling cloud that caused such chaos was a purple haired woman with black, soulless eyes. "Must kill Hercules!" she shouted just above the roar of the wind.



"Hey!" shouted Hercules. "You looking for me? I'm Hercules!"



"Then you will DIE!" She blew a gale towards him strong enough to lift even a man as heavy as Hercules off his feet. He would have been thrown like so much debris had Iolaus not caught him by the ankle.



"If you must battle," said Boreas. "Then battle on the plain where no more innocent mortals shall come to harm!" With a great flapping of wings, Boreas and Notus forced the full strength of the north wind and south wind upon the enforcer. The immense wind pressure carried the enforcer away on a ball of lightning.



"This way!" said Notus. With a flap of his russet wings, the God of Autumn Gusts was airborne. His older brother soon followed.



"There is an empty plain less than a mile outside town." Boreas called down to the two men who were following him. "The damage there will be minimal."



The enforcer landed face first in the dirt, her hair singed by the lightning. Iolaus had to laugh. It wasn't often that someone else wound up filthy with frizzed hair. "Well, check out the skank." he chuckled.



"What's a skank?" asked Hercules.



"It's a slut with bad hygiene." Iolaus explained. "I mean, look at her. If that dress was any smaller it would be a belt! And what's with the things on her wrists? Is she gonna hang herself with 'em?" The enforcer sent Iolaus flying with a gust of wind. This time, Hercules had to save him.



"I don't think she cared for your fashion advice." said Hercules.



"Your end has come, Hercules!" yelled the enforcer as she conjured up another whirlwind. "Even you cannot catch the wind!" She laughed evilly as she ascended into the air.



"I can always try." Hercules said as he readied the lasso Notus had given him.

****************************************************



Meanwhile, Autolycus was keeping vigil over Joxer. He felt a weak squeeze on his hand as Joxer's eyes closed and his breath came dangerously slow. "Stay with me, babe, stay with me!" Autolycus performed the resuscitation technique on him again. Soon, Joxer was breathing and (barely) conscious. Autolycus gasped from his efforts. He was feeling mildly light headed. "Hey, Zef." he gasped. "You're...you're a god. Can't you...can't you do...do something?"



Zephyr shook his head. "There is precious little I can do. I am the God of Gentle Breezes, not a god of health. I can't even ask a favor from Hades. I-I don't think he likes me much."



"Why not?"



"I'm a harbinger of spring. Every year, I escort Persephone from the Underworld to Demeter's Palace. It's not personal, it's just a job. Still, I understand Hades' dislike for me. I know what it is to lose a loved one."



"Do you?" Autolycus ran a finger over Joxer's wan cheek.



"I loved a mortal once, long ago." Zephyr settled close to them, his legs crossed under him. "His name was Hyacinth."



"So, you play for the other team too, huh?"



"Actually, I, um, play both teams." A rosy blush tinted Zephyr's cheeks. "Hyacinth was beautiful. He had perfect, porcelain skin, just like Joxer's. Long, silky dark hair that waved in the breeze. And these big hazel eyes that shamed the rainbow."



"OK, I get it." said Autolycus. "You thought he was hot."



"Yeah, well, so did Apollo." Zephyr frowned. "Apollo always gets the boy and the girl. He's this big, important God of the Sun, so of course Hyacinth chose him over me."



"Ah, his loss." Autolycus shrugged.



"There are some who say I killed Hyacinth out of jealousy. It's not true. I loved Hyacinth. I only wanted him to be happy, even if it was with someone else. I'm almost sure it was Eurus who blew the discus his way. Eurus' ill winds always bring trouble."



"Eurus?"



"God of the Maelstrom. He's another brother of mine. Next youngest after me. He's become Hera's tattletale lately. That's how I found out about the enforcer. I followed him to Hera's temple." Zephyr looked at Joxer. "He reminds me so much of Hyacinth. I'll see what I can do to help him." He closed his eyes and concentrated.



A small warm breeze swirled about them, mildly disturbing the straw. Suddenly, the air felt a bit cooler, clearer. The smell of old straw and animal musk was gone, replaced by a clean scent that almost wasn't even a scent at all. "I've purified all the air in a ten foot sphere." said Zephyr. "It will be easier for him to breathe. It should buy him some time."



"Hope Hercules and Iolaus come back soon." Autolycus said as he smoothed Joxer's hair. "Wish I knew how they were doing."