Admissions

Admissions
Chapter Three

Michael went to his personal quarters instead of back to his observation room. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he placed his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. Teyla had been so adamant about not wanting to participate in his capture and experimentation. He did believe her; he just couldn’t help but wish she had defied the others and told him the truth. However, he understood why she didn’t. She had chosen to place her trust in them and she was far too dedicated to her duties to disobey a direct order, even one she didn’t believe in.

He sighed, straightening up and running his hands through his hair. He had known she would be angry that he’d experimented on some of her people. Maybe he should have foreseen just how furious she’d be. He had believed that, because he’d only used a handful of them, she would understand. Apparently, he’d been very wrong.

Lying back across his bed, Michael placed his hands beneath his head. He hadn’t used the Athosians he knew she was closest to. Such as the one called Halling and his son, Jinto. Next time he spoke to her he would make sure to point that out to her. The only one he used that she deeply cared for was Kanaan, of course.

He had quite a bit of trouble deciding what to do with that one. Kill him on principal, or use him to further his experiments. In the end, Kanaan’s Wraith genes had been the only thing that saved his life. Besides, he couldn’t deny the pleasure he got from having complete control over the one who had touched his Teyla. Anger and jealousy filled him. Perhaps he would still exterminate Kanaan.

He forced his thoughts back to Teyla. Did she really not understand that he had kept her people safe? If he had not taken them they could have fallen victims to a culling or been destroyed by the Replicators.

He snorted. He had heard about the Lanteans reinitializing the Replicators program to destroy the Wraith. Undoubtedly Dr. McKay’s doing. It may have been a good plan, if they hadn’t begun annihilating entire human civilizations in order to take away the Wraith’s food source. He doubted that they even had a plan to stop the Replicators once they had finished what they wanted them to. Leave it to the Lanteans to take a bad situation and make it worse. They truly excelled at failing spectacularly in most of their endeavors.

There was a knock at the door, pulling him from his musings. He got up quickly and moved to the door. No one on this ship would dare disturb him here without good reason. When he opened the door, one of his hybrids stood before him, holding a bowl of food.

“Yes?” He thought he knew what this was about, but he wanted to hear it, anyway.

“Master, the Athosian woman is refusing to eat,” the hybrid told him in a dead, emotionless voice.

Sighing, Michael took the bowl from him. “I will deal with her. Go back to your duties.”

He noticed that the hybrid had not gotten a spoon for the bowl of food. His annoyance rising, he walked to the kitchen to retrieve one for her. He would force her to eat if he had to. If he was unable to without hurting the child, then he would not be above taking drastic measures to ensure that she got the nutrition she needed. He could not let her weaken herself. She was very close to giving birth. He knew how painful, exhausting, and potentially dangerous human childbirth could be. Upon finding out she was with child, he made sure to find out as much as he could. He would not risk losing either Teyla or the baby just because she wanted to defy him. He loved them both too much.

After getting the desired utensil, he swiftly made his way to her cell. She did not rise to meet him or even acknowledge his presence. He sighed as he studied her. She was looking down at her belly as she caressed it. Her hair fell like a curtain in front of her face, hiding it from his view.

“I was told you are refusing food.”

“I am not hungry.” Her voice was so soft he barely heard her.

Frowning, he wondered if she thought he was drugging her food. He certainly did not want to experiment on her. “Teyla, your food is not drugged.”

That got her attention. She looked up at him with a frown of her own. “I did not even consider that it could be.”

His annoyance grew. She was pale and obviously hurting herself by not eating properly. “Do not starve yourself to spite me. Think about the health of our baby.”

She looked taken aback for a moment before narrowing her eyes. “You truly think I would endanger our child out of spite?” Her voice was filled with irritation, but not as strong as usual. Suddenly, she closed her eyes. Laying her head back against the wall behind her, she began taking slow, deep breaths. “I am not feeling well, Michael.”

His annoyance was instantly replaced with concern. Was something wrong with her or the baby? Fear the likes of which he’d never before felt surged through his veins. Panicked, he moved his hand to the control panel to open the bars. He hesitated for a moment, looking back at her. What if this was just a ploy on her part to try to escape? She seemed to be even paler than before. Feeling foolish, he realized that she could not change her pallor at will.

He swept his hand over the door control and impatiently waited for the bars to retract. Rushing to her side, he knelt before her. After placing the bowl on the floor beside him, Michael touched her forehead. Teyla opened her eyes and looked at him in surprise. Since she didn’t recoil or attempt to move away, he moved his hand to cup her cheek. Her skin was not fevered, but cold and clammy. He didn’t think one was any better than the other, though he didn’t know for sure.

“Is it…” Michael trailed off, scanning his memory. He remembered being told something about human women feeling ill while pregnant. “Is it morning sickness?”

Teyla smirked slightly, apparently amused. “Some women do experience that aliment throughout their pregnancy. However, I have not suffered from it for some time.”

“Then what is it? Is something wrong with you or the baby? When did you begin feeling ill?”

Teyla looked uncertain and hesitated before answering him. “During our last conversation,” she admitted.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fear, concern, and confusion filled Michael’s face. Teyla did not want to lie to him, but she did not want to start another argument, either. Deciding he would know if she was not truthful, Teyla reluctantly said, “I am disgusted with us both.”

He looked instantly hurt, almost immediately followed by furious. He snatched his hand away from her face and made a move to rise. She grabbed his hand in both of hers, stopping him. “Michael, wait! Please, allow me to explain before you leave angry again.” He looked at her hands holding his own. Raising his eyes to meet hers, he nodded his agreement to stay. Relieved, Teyla closed her eyes and took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts so that she could make herself as clear as possible.

Opening her eyes, Teyla looked directly into his. Though it was apparent that his feelings were hurt and he was still angry, he was looking at her attentively. “Michael, you were right when you said before that what happened to my people was my fault. Though, I do not believe that it is because of what was done to you by the others.” He looked as though he was ready to protest, so she held up her hand to stop him. “Please, allow me to finish before you speak.” Frowning, he closed his mouth and waited for her to continue.

“You were also correct when you said that I knew on New Athos that it was you I was with, not Kanaan.” He looked surprised at the revelation, but did not try to interrupt her. “I had known all day that there was something not right with Kanaan. I felt your presence. However, I could not bring myself to call you on it. I denied what I felt. When we made love and we were connected, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was you that was with me. I felt just how much you loved and cared for me. I was frightened by it, by all that I felt for you. I convinced myself that I wanted it to be you, but that it was not.” She saw hope spark in his eyes and the affection he had so obviously felt when she had first saw him on this ship return. “I can not help but think that if I had admitted everything to you then, things would be different now. You may not have taken my people. We may have been able to find some kind of solution for you, for us. I am disgusted with myself for not having the courage to tell you.

“However, I am disgusted at you as well.” The hope and affection in his eyes disappeared instantly and his body stiffened. “You had no right to take my people. How could you have done this to them when you know how much they mean to me? If you truly care for me as much as I had thought you did, how could you hurt me in such a way?” Tears formed in her eyes and she could hear the desperation in her own voice.

Michael leaned forward slightly. His eyes had darkened with the intensity of what he felt. “Teyla, I didn’t take them to hurt you! I took them to help! Yes, I did experiment on some of them, but it was only a handful. Fifteen, that is all I needed. The rest of them are safe. If I had not taken all of them, they could have been culled or wiped out of existence by the Replicators. I have kept them safe for you. They have shelter, my protection, food, and clothing. I’ve made sure to see to their every need. I used people from other worlds to build my army; I just needed those with Wraith genes to finish the retrovirus.”

Teyla looked at him incredously. Was the fact that he had used people from other worlds to turn into hybrids supposed to make what he had been doing better? She sighed deeply, looking away from him. How could she convince him, preferably without starting another argument, that was he was doing was very wrong?

She did have to admit that, though she mourned for those he had used, she rejoiced in the knowledge that most of her people were safe. She supposed in the strange logic he was using, when he kidnapped her people he was doing it out of love for her. Though it made no sense to her, she did believe that it made perfect sense to him.

She looked back at him when he began to speak. “I am going to make this universe a safe place, for you and our child. I will destroy the Wraith threat and you will never have to live in the fear you have felt since you were born.” He looked down at her belly and then back up into her eyes with the fire of determination glowing in them. “Our baby will never have to experience any kind of fear. I will make sure of it.”

Teyla considered his fervent words carefully. Perhaps, in time, she could use her and the child’s influence on him to make him see the error of his ways. She would not argue with him now, she would wait for another opportunity to gently begin to persuade him. She knew that he was not an evil being, he just believed that what he was doing was necessary. She needed to convince him otherwise.

She gasped softly as the baby kicked and moved. Glancing down, she smiled. He was getting so big that it was uncomfortable for her when he was very active. However, she loved to feel him move. It let her know that he was healthy and strong.

Teyla looked up at Michael with a large grin. “Would you like to feel your son?”

His eyes widened. “My son? The child is a boy?” The look of happiness on his face was beautiful. He stared at her belly as she guided his hands to the place where he could feel the baby easiest. The baby kicked at his father’s hands, as though he could sense him. Teyla could not help but feel pleasure in the wonderment on his face as he felt his child move for the very first time.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“He’s so strong,” Michael said after holding Teyla’s belly for a while. Suddenly, he remembered the reason he’d come in here in the first place. Teyla needed to eat to keep both of them strong.

He reluctantly removed his hands from her and picked up the bowl of food from the floor. She had more color in her face now. Perhaps it had just been the stress she felt that made her feel ill. Looking at what he held, she gave him an apprehensive look.

“You must eat something. You can not let yourself become weak. Our son,” he paused to savor those words before continuing, “will be here soon. You will need all of your strength for his delivery.”

“Michael, it does not look very appetizing.”

He sighed in agitation, but decided to be diplomatic with her. Anything to ensure that she ate at least a little. “I have made sure that all the nutrients that you and the baby require are in this. It may not be what you’re used to, but I promise to try to get you something more to your liking when we reach our destination. If you eat some of this now.”

He scooped up a small amount onto the spoon and held it to her mouth. Though it had been hot when he brought it in, it had cooled off. It wasn’t cold yet, so he hoped that it wouldn’t be too offensive for her. He was suddenly struck with the memory of when she had fed him in much the same way. Of course, he’d been tied to a bed at the time, but she had still tried to help ease his hunger. From the look on her face, she was remembering it as well.

Teyla slowly opened her mouth and took the first bite. It must not have been as bad as she had feared because she swallowed and allowed him to feed her another spoonful. He managed to get her to eat almost the entire bowl with some encouragement. He was relieved and made a mental note to try to get supplies when they stopped, as he’d promised.

She tried to stifle a yawn, but he clearly saw it. She needed to rest, but he was reluctant to leave her here in this cell. He sighed and studied her intensely for a moment. If he could get her to promise him that she would remain put, then he could let her out. He knew that she would not go back on her word.

“Teyla, I do not want to leave you in here.” He paused and sighed, frowning as she instantly perked up. “If you give me your word that you will not try to run away and that you will remain in my quarters, I will take you there now. I promise not to make any advances. My quarters are much more comfortable than this cell and I’ll know that you’re safe there. You can bath, rest, meditate, whatever you want. No one will disturb you as I will be the only one allowed to enter.”

“I understand and I promise not to leave the room or try to escape.” She looked directly in his eyes and he knew that she was telling him the truth.

He got up and helped her to her feet. He led her through the halls before finally stopping at his door. He opened it with a wave of his hand across a control panel and waited for her to enter. Doing so without hesitation, she paused in the middle of the room and looked around. He followed her in, closing the door behind him.

When she turned to him with a small smile on her face, he felt suddenly nervous. He began fidgeting and moved to the closet to retrieve what he had brought for her. They’d spent so much time arguing since her arrival, he hadn’t had a chance to give it to her yet. Now was the perfect time. He just hoped she liked it.

Turning around with what he knew was a shy smile, he held out his hands. Teyla gasped in surprise, taking in the sight of the Athosian maternity dress he’d brought for her. She looked up at him with a smile that lit up the entire room. “I knew that you would not have anything when you got here. I asked one of the Athosian women if they had anything that you could use. When she found out that it was you that I wanted it for, she asked me for material and made this for you herself. Do you like it?”

“Yes, it is beautiful.” She hesitated, clearly wanting to ask him something. She must have decided against it for she smiled again. “Thank you, Michael. Where is the bathing room? I would like to take a long, hot bath.”

Michael flushed slightly as an unwanted thought of her in the bathtub entered his mind. Quickly pushing the image away, he pointed at the open door across the room. “It is through there. I took the liberty of gathering a few things that you might need. You’ll find everything in the cabinet to your right. I’m going to the control bridge to see how long it will be before we arrive at the planet we’re headed to. We’ll only be there long enough to pick up a few things, then we’ll set course for the planet where your people are.”

Teyla looked elated at the thought of seeing her people again. “Thank you, Michael.”

He nodded before turning and exiting the room. He walked down the hall deep in thought. After how upset she’d been when he’d told her about her people, he knew that she’d be unhappy when she saw who it was that they were picking up. Sighing, he knew that he’d have to tell her about his clone of Dr. Beckett before he was brought to her. He hoped that she’d be happy to see him. After all, he’d hear from the Athosians that the real Dr. Beckett had been killed in a freak explosion. Perhaps she’d be happy to have a piece of him back in her life. He thought it highly unlikely that she would be happy about him cloning the good doctor, but maybe, just maybe her happiness at seeing him would temper her anger toward him.