Part 02 - Going Forward

Chapter 03 - Tell Me More

As Rose exited the TARDIS she was again bombarded by thousands of different emotions as she stood in the middle of the crowded London Street. For long moments, she stood just taking in all the life surrounding her in this place that was her home. She knew something had changed when she was on the space station but she couldn’t quite take it all in, what with everything that had happened with Cassandra. Strong emotions had seemed to be screaming at her from everyone on the station and she had decided at the time it was because of all the aliens surrounding her. Now, in the midst of an almost entirely human crowd, the sensations had eased but had far from disappeared completely. Some of the strongest emotions she was feeling were from the man next to her. She had never felt such sadness, such almost tangible loneliness; yet somehow everything that had happened had left her without tears, far too stunned.

Now she knew something had shifted and things would never be the same. This alien that she had left with on such a spur of the moment decision had just showed her things she would never have dreamed of before yesterday. Was it only yesterday? She had expected strange and exciting but… Well this had been stranger then her wildest dreams.

Then she realized he was speaking again “My Planet’s gone, dead, it burned like the Earth. It’s Just Rocks and dust... before its time.”

With each short sentence it was like he was ripping out a bit of himself just to verbalize them, to say them out loud, and Rose could feel exactly how much it took for him to speak those words and it hurt a kind of hurt she had never even imagined was possible. I was making her whole body ache just experiencing it second hand; but she had to understand what it was that so tortured him. “What happened?”

“There was a war and we lost.” He replied

Those simple words held such pain, a pain that went far beyond tears, a pain too great to be washed away easily by a little bit of salt water. This was a pain that can only be dealt with by numbness and she can feel that lack of sensation spreading outward though her body even as the pain had done moments before, but she can’t let the thought go. “A war with who?” When he doesn’t answer she just swallows the lump in her throat, she is afraid she knows the answer to the next question. “What about your people?”

“I’m a Time Lord. I’m the last of the Time Lords. They’re all gone I’m the only survivor. I’m left traveling on my own because there’s no one else.”

With those last words she feels his grief peak to a crescendo and before she can even think she says “there’s me” and knows that even with everything that has happened she can never turn her back on him. No one should ever have to face that kind of grief alone. The feelings she had begun feeling for him almost from that first conversation crystallize and she realizes that, no matter where he is, she wants to be there too; that no matter what, she wants to ease the loneliness and sadness that she can feel radiating from him in almost solid waves. She doesn’t know if she can go home again now. Even if she did go back, how would she be able to face her mum, tell her that she was leaving with him? Would she be able to do that without also explaining why, a why she isn’t even sure she could articulate to herself. Then, as if he is reading her mind, he says, “You have seen how dangerous it is, do you want to go home?”

Her own mind is astir with so many questions and she doesn’t know how to even work her way through them, so she answers him honestly, “I don’t know.”

Then, trying to formulate questions she isn’t sure she knows how to ask, she starts “I, I want…” She takes a deep breath, decides that anything this important needs thinking about over food, as the smell of fresh chips wafts past her senses and asks, “Oh, can you smell chips?” Thus giving herself a way to put space between the decisions she knows she will have to make and the time she needs to make them and well after everything they have just went though he owes her at least a meal over which to think things over.

Then suddenly the clouds of pain are swept away by an unbelieving amusement “Yeah,” he says as he begins to laugh, “Yeah.”

The relief is palatable and suddenly she wants chips more then anything else in the world. “I want chips”

With a broad smile he says, “Me too.”

“Right then, before you get me back in that box chips it is, and you can pay.”

He looks amused and states with a laugh, “No money.”

“What sort of date are you?” An alien one who has captured her heart and shown her more things then she ever could imagine. Then again, maybe she will buy the chips but she can’t resist saying with her tongue poked out to the corner of her mouth making it clear she is teasing. “Come on then tightwad, chips are on me. We only have five billion years ’til the shops close.”

She can almost feel the last of the anxiety flowing out of him and smiles widely, with the secret knowledge that it is she that made that happen. She has helped him let go, if only for a time, of the grief she felt so keenly just a few moments before. She couldn’t help smiling, almost laughing, at the joy now radiating off him.

It doesn’t take them long to find the chip shop and get two large portions. Looking across at this man, this alien, who is such a mystery, she can’t help but feel that he would be mystery she could spend the rest of her life deciphering and not regret a minute of the time spent.

The Doctor looks over at Rose, amazed again that this young shop girl has brought a smile to his face, light to his darkness. It never ceases to amaze him how much these humans can take in their stride.

“So Doctor, tell me more about the crazy life you lead and where you got that amazing ship of yours?” She figures these topics should be safe enough, remembering how he lit up at discussing his time ship earlier.

He smiles as he thinks of his beautiful TARDIS and all the wonderful places she has taken him to over the years.

Rose smiles again widely as she feels his happiness, and thinks she could really like this sensing what others are feeling thing.

“Oh, it’s absolutely amazing out there Rose! There are stars being born, there are caves filled with the most beautiful kinds of crystal formations, there are pyramids made up entirely of glass on San Clean, and in Barcelona, the planet not the country, there are dogs with no noses, actually to be more accurate no snouts but still funny looking little fellows. Of course there are the more local sights of Australia, Brazil, Greece, could even take you to the first Olympic games if you took a fancy to the idea, would have to figure out the whole you being a woman thing though, they didn’t let women into the first games.”

The Doctor was practically bouncing now with exuberance and it was so contagious she really did love seeing him like this; as if someone had waved a magic wand and everything became touched with enchantment.

“Then of course there is the far past, how would you like to see a living dinosaur up close?”

“What and get ourselves eaten by some tyrannosaurus rex, or maybe one of the raptor, bird things?” She said waggling her finger at him. “No thank you, don’t think I haven’t seen Jurassic park, those things can be lethal!” But even with her mock stern words she couldn’t help smiling at the idea. His delight was practically tangible now.

“Well if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed there were a lot of herbivores there too. Not all of them were meat eaters after all, impractical that would be, have to have a few to keep everything in balance you know. Then again, we could always go back to the future and see the planet New, New York, they have the most wonderful smelling grass, smells just like a fresh cut apples that does, wonderful place to have a picnic. Rose, you’re just going to love it out there!”

“Okay I believe you, so how about this magic box of yours, what about it?”

“Well first of all SHE is not, an it!” he said, stressing the female pronoun, “SHE is a beautiful sentient Time Ship! As to the rest, you already know that TARDIS is bigger on the inside then outside. The reason for that is because she is dimensionally transcendent, which means that her exterior and interior exist in separate dimensions, so her insides are not limited by her outer shell. When everything is working correctly she can look like virtually anything.”

The TARDIS can’t help to smile at his protectiveness and pride and she too is happy that Rose has him shaken out of his most recent bout of depression, even if he was more then just a bit manic right now.

“Then why does SHE look like a Police Box?” Rose asks making sure she to stressed the feminine designation.

“It’s a disguise, but well,” he looks a bit sheepish, “She kind of got stuck when her chameleon circuit malfunctioned; really do need to get that fixed one of these days, handy things chameleon circuits. As I had mentioned before, TARDIS stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space and she is also telepathic which allows her to translate almost all the languages we are likely to encounter.”

“Where did you get her, and if she can think for herself why doesn’t she just take off someplace when you get grumpy?”

“Oi, I don’t get grumpy, well not that frequently, and I will have you know she likes me very much.” He says this a bit indignantly, “’sides, she and I… well we’re the last…” He trails off, lost in black thoughts, which descend like a sudden thunderstorm on a sunny day, and he tries hard not to think of why they were the last, as visions of Gallifrey exploding burst into his minds eye, causing him to completely forget his young human companion as he for a few moments becomes lost in a flashback.

Rose watches as his happy delighted mood evaporates and she almost misses his last words in the flood of grief that flows off him. Her breath hitches as she feels the incredible impact of that emotion and decides that maybe feeling others’ emotions isn’t that big of a plus.

“Doctor?” She says gently trying to recapture his attention.

The Doctor’s head snaps up as he feels Rose touch his hand and her calling his name. Looking nervously at her, hoping that she hadn’t noticed his wandering thoughts, he plasters a cheerful smile on his face that comes nowhere near reaching his eyes.

“Yes, well, that and TARDIS’ and Time Lords have a special relationship. The Time Lords actually created the TARDIS race you see. TARDIS’ are not born they are… were, grown and would bond with a Time Lord, usually for the life of said Time Lord. Of course there were always those that, well, just didn’t have it in them to maintain that kind of relationship and would always be looking for the latest and greatest model out there, a bit like some humans do with regard to relationships. But me, and she… well she’s special, always has been. She’s not the latest model,” he says leaning forward a bit conspiratorially “she’s a type-40, but far better company than a lot of them.” Again he has to struggle to push away the grief as he thinks about the fact that there were no longer any others. “Anyway, if you’re done with those chips, let’s take a look at what else there is out in the Universe.” He says cheerfully in order to try to hide how uncomfortable the whole conversation is getting, and that it is causing him to practically itch to get underway again.

Rose has been sensing for the last few minutes how hard it was for him and eagerly agrees. “Yeah, sure, sounds great.” She says trying to match his cheerful tone. “Where to now?” Wondering to her self how long it has been since he lost his home while she gathers up her things and disposes of them, trying not to show him how upset she is because of his emotional upheaval.

The thought of that loss making her heart ache, so she takes his hand, hoping that contact will help him feel a little less alone. She doesn’t want him to ever be alone again if she can help it, and regardless of what dangers come, as long as she can be there with him, she knows it will all work out.