Courtship Rituals

AN: the Elven naming system started off based on the later Roman one, but I had
to adjust it for so much stuff that pretty much the only remaining thing worth
noting is the bad Latin, including my bizarre re-purposing of the word gens. Also, Merry Christmas if you celebrate it.

---

Sportacus got home from taking Robbie back to his place from the hospital to
find a mail tube lying on the floor.

The contents read:

Decius
Sportacus:

The news you took a risk with a non-elf and are currently
attempting to break the marriage bond so formed was received with
concern.

Your aunt Argenta Jewelia, and your sibling-selves Prima Sportacia
and Septimus Sportacus are on their way to LazyTown as I write. Your other
brother, Aurelius Jewelius, and I will follow with all possible haste.

Magic
grant that this not be our last correspondence.

Your loving
mother,

Lapillia Jewelia Sportacia

Sportacus smiled. His
mother's gens, the Jeweliuses, were ridiculously formal at times, and
such an obviously impractical formality like using his full name as the
salutation of what was otherwise a quick note made him feel a bit
homesick.

He was just pondering what to say in reply when another tube popped
through the floor.

Hey, 10, mind giving us a clue where you
are?

1

It read.

He chuckled, imagining his aunt hovering
disapprovingly over 1's shoulder as she wrote.

He got a piece of paper out,
and wrote quickly.

Coming down now, I'll explain when I see
you.

10

He sent the letter, and hurried down via the ladder.

---

There was a small gaggle of worried-looking people around the mailbox with
the launcher. At first, Trixie thought one of them was Sportacus, but the number
on the back of his vest was 7, not 10, and he was a bit younger-looking. The
other two were an old lady in grey, who, Trixie thought, looked a bit like
someone had stretched Bessie and bleached her hair, and a young woman who looked
like a girl version of Sportacus, wearing number 1.

The lady spotted her, and
called out: "Excuse me, young lady!"

"Hullo," Trixie replied.

"Have you
seen Sportacus?" the girl asked, with the same accent as Sportacus.

"I
haven't seen him since he took Robbie to the hospital earlier this afternoon,"
Trixie replied.

"Did he seem unwell?" the man asked .

Trixie shrugged. "He
was really sleepy for a bit, but he seemed to get better pretty quickly after
Ziggy broke Robbie's leg. He was well enough to carry Robbie there."

The
lady's brow wrinkled. "Could he have?"

"We've always been very dedicated,"the
man said.

"It's not unlike us for him to have done so, despite the risk," the
girl added.

"Then it is imperative we find him at once." said the lady
decisively.

"Nice thought, Aunt Argenta Jewelia, "said the girl "but we
have..."

"No idea where to start looking," the man finished.

Trixie saw a
blue paper aeroplane pass behind them, spiralling down and around, until it hit
the girl in the shoulder.

She unfolded it jerkily. "He says he'll be down to
explain in a moment," she said, as Sportacus jumped off his ladder behind her,
where none of them were looking. Trixie opened her mouth to greet him, but
Sportacus put a finger to his lips, moved the last few steps with an exaggerated
sneaking motion that made her work to suppress a giggle, and put a hand on one
each off the girl's and the man's shoulders.

"Boo," he said
conversationally.

"Ten!" they exclaimed together, and gathered him into a
group hug.

After he hugged them back with obvious joy, he turned to the lady,
stepped up to her, kissed her cheek formally, and stepped back, still
smiling.

"You look well, Aunt Argenta Jewelia," he said.

"You look better
than I had expected, Decius Sportacus, considering your letter to your mother,"
she replied.

"It all worked out in the wash." He glanced across at Trixie.
"Hello, Trixie. I suppose I'd better introduce you to my family. This is my
aunt, Argenta Jewelia Marcia, and my brother and sister, Sportacus number Seven
and Sportacia number One. Aunt, siblings, this is a friend of mine, Trixie
Lee."

"So, are there actually ten of you?" Trixie asked, rather confused by
the fact the eldest seemed to have the highest number.

"No, just us three,
and another brother who's a Jewelius," said One.

"The numbers don't mean anything," Sportacus added. "It's just what we're called."

"OK,
I'll see you later then," Trixie said.

"Don't get into too much mischief,"
Sportacus replied, as she wandered off

---

"Well, you're still bonded, I see," said One, once Trixie was out of
earshot.

"I take it he changed his mind," said Seven.

"Why ever did you
do something so stupid?" Argenta Jewelia asked. "I know Sportacuses are prone to
impulsiveness, but what you did was extremely reckless."

"Isn't love
worth the risk?" Ten said, aware that he and Robbie hadn't worded it that way to
each other, at least not yet.

One's eyes narrowed, and although scepticism
came off her in waves, because of their aunt's presence she vocalized nothing,
leaving the matter to be resolved within the gens.

"What species is
he, at least? You only told your mother non-elf, and you would have specified if
he were merely human, I believe."

"Gremlin," said Seven, a little
disapprovingly.

Let him vocalise his own thoughts, One weighed
in silently. Why do you disapprove?

Seven shared information with her
that was akin to that in the book, obviously acquired by the gens since Ten had
last been a proper part off it, and not previously shared with her
because she was a minor.

"Excuse me, young ones, but I would be grateful if
the conversation took place aloud, so as to include elves of other gens," said
Aunt Argenta Jewelia.

"Sorry," said One.

"Still, it matters none. What's
done is done, and since it appears the marriage continues after all, the next
order of business should be the nuptial celebrations."

"A party?" said One
excitedly, bouncing on her toes. "Can we have kiwi fruit? And strawberries? Oh,
and fresh cream. Venison? That's a good meat for a function, isn't it? "

Ten
shook his head. "No meat, One. One of the grooms, and quite a few of the likely
guests aren't Elven, and it wouldn't be polite."

"Gremlins and humans eat
meat," she said, confused.

"True, but they usually cook it
first."

"Ew."

"Which I suspect would be their reaction to our ways, so no
meat. I don't know about the cream, either. Humans usually cook their milk as
well, though they don't usually think of it as cooked."

---

Stephanie was on her way home from the park to do some work on her and
Ziggy's assignment. She pondered how much of what she had learnt was appropriate
to include, given that she was working with a seven year old.

She
balanced along the tops of the low walls as she walked, jumping over the posts
onto more clear wall beyond. On one post, distracted by the idea to just be very
clinical and include it all, she slipped, and tumbled towards the coloured
concrete that made up LazyTown's streets.

There was a split second of fear, a
flash of blue, and she was landing, rather predictably really, in strong arms.
Strong arms that couldn't be Sportacus's, she realised, because he didn't have
breasts, or braids. Nor did he smell so good. She looked up. The face she saw
could almost have been Little Sportacus's, though it was cute on her in an
entirely different way to him.

"Hi," she said.

---

One had been closer, and marginally faster due to not having had several
days of inactivity recently, and so was the one to stop Stephanie dashing her
brains out all over LazyTown's main street.

"Hi," Stephanie said awkwardly,
once she looked up, and seemingly realised that One was not Ten.

One put her
back on her feet, then stared blankly at her, accidentally broadcasting an
hysterical internal litany of equal parts 'say something, Sportacia' and 'oh my magic, she's so freaking cute'.

Ten stepped in to rescue her
from the horrible threat, practically a fate worse than death to a child One's
age, of making a fool of herself.

"Hello Stephanie. I see you met my little
sister, Number One."

"You can call me Sportacia," One added.

Stephanie
looked at her suspiciously. "I can see the resemblance, but I thought it was a
brother you had to replace you."

"No, we've got one of those too. Wait, what
do you mean replace him?" One asked.

Ten blushed, and shared the
exchange.

"You... you oaf! Don't tell me you actually expected that to
comfort her."

"Not really," Sportacus said, embarrassed. "Sorry
Stephanie."

"You were scared too, weren't you?" Stephanie asked.

Sportacus
nodded sheepishly, and she hugged him.

"I forgive you. Just don't do it
again."