It Comes To This

McCoy entered his own rooms and sighed. It had been a long day. He had been posted here a few months ago, at the Starfleet medical academy, while Jim argued with Starfleet about whether or not he was still allowed to have the Enterprise after he had already been told bluntly to retire. Originally he had assumed his stay on Earth would be quiet, involving lots of research and paper writing, yet he found himself bombarded with calls from the school. He was constantly being asked to come teach this, or show the kids how this would work under this circumstances, or fix a possibly fatal mistake a student had made. He had once assumed that was what professors where for but, he ruefully thought poring himself a drink, obviously he had been wrong. He yanked open the collar of his uniform and took a sip of bourbon, he would be glad to be back in space right now, and almost glad to retire. Serving as an emergency medic for a war zone had been easier then this. His door chimed and he barked “enter” at it, out of habit, before wondering who would be coming to his private courts, he dearly hoped one of the little fools hadn’t cut there own hand off, again. The door slid open and McCoy looked up in time to gape at the last person he had ever expected to see there. Spock in full Vulcan robes swept, calmly into the room.
“Dr.” Spock nodded towards the still stunned doctor. “I am sorry for the intrusion but think we need to talk”
McCoy waved his hand vaguely at the room, “by all means Spock come in talk”
Spock entered the room then stopped and stood simply regarding McCoy for a few minute. The Dr. began to feel a little nervous, what in God’s name did Spock want with him?
“For the last few weeks I have found myself.. distracted” Spock began. “I have used several forms of control to correct the situation but it was beginning to become out of hand. So I mediated on it, asking myself what had changed in my life that might be the root cause of my distraction. In time I came to think of my time of the Enterprise. When I meditated upon my time on the ship. I found two things stood out, the relationship I had with Jim and the relationship I held with you. Since I communicate regularly with Jim, I deduced that there was something about my relationship with you that was causing the distraction.”
McCoy took a large gulp of his bourbon. His mouth had gone dry and he found his hands were shaking very slightly. Spock continued on calmly.
“Upon meditating on our relationship as shipmates and colleagues I came to find that I miss that contact” He spread his hands palms up. “ I miss the time we spent together, I miss working and researching with you, and as strange as it might seem I miss our arguments. In short Dr. I miss you, I miss being with you.”
Spock folded his arms and moved closer to Leonard, so the Dr. could almost feel the intense heat radiating off the Vulcan.
“However after further consideration I have come to believe that the situation might be different than merely missing your company” Spock’s voice was quiet and even. McCoy’s brain had stopped working, and was simply refusing to process this.
“I have long considered myself your friend” Spock continued “I now begin to think I may wish for something more, that you may have become something more for me.”
McCoy’s brain went into hyper drive for a few overwhelming seconds then seesed working again. “I’m flattered that you consider me your friend Spock, and I would be happy to spend more time with you” he was not happy with the fact that his voice was shaking ever so slightly.
“but this is the earth-bondness, and boredom talking. Once your back in space you wont think twice about me.”
Spock’s eyebrows drew together “Vulcan’s do not experience boredom Dr.” his voice was beginning to have an edge in it, “and friendship is not what I am asking for. I thought I was making myself clear or shall I use the human way of declaring ones intentions in this matter?”
“yes use the human way” McCoy snapped his temper rising along with his confusion and discomfort “I am only human or had you forgotten”
Spock’s eyebrow’s rose even further “not ever, by any stretch of the imagination would I be able to forget that you where human, Dr.” he told him before moving a few steps forward to claim the McCoy’s lips with his.
The kiss was awkward and clumsy since it was not a Vulcan costume. But to the Dr. it was far beyond the realm of anything he’d ever experienced. The taste of Spock’s lips, the sent of his body, the feel of him pressed so tightly against McCoy’s own. Spock’s hands where pressed against his back, his long fingers digging into him. After a few stunned minutes, Spock pulled back and McCoy was left to gap at him.
“No” his voice was openly shaking now “No, no. I’m not who you want, there’s Jim.” He cleared his throat trying to make the words come out right “your in love with Jim, you have been for ever, and I’d bet money on the fact he loves you too. If you need someone go to Jim”