Another Chance

“Finally got her to sleep,” Jake reports, his voice lowered and his eyes betraying how exhausted he is. But still, he sits down beside his teammate and waits for him to start talking.

“I went round there to apologise, ‘cause the way I’d left things…” Lucas begins finally, as Jake joins him at the kitchen table.

“With Nathan?” Jake asks, already knowing how this is going to play out. He shakes his head in disgust. “What happened?”

“He swore he wouldn’t see Tim anymore. He swore to me,” Lucas grinds out, angrily. “I heard them arguing as I got there, then the door opened and Nathan didn’t realise I was standing there. I just left…I couldn’t deal with it. Not again. At least this time they weren’t fucking.”

Jake rests a sympathetic hand on Lucas’ shoulder. “At least you know now. You gave him a second chance and he blew it. You know it’s not meant to be.”

That isn’t comforting, not by a long shot, but Lucas is grateful that at least Jake is trying. At least Jake is honest and actually cares about his feelings. If only Nathan would try and do the same, just once in a while.

“I’m an idiot,” Lucas states, staring numbly at the wall. “How could I be that stupid?”

“Come on, this isn’t you fault!” Jake argues. “Nathan’s a great guy, he really is…but he can’t handle responsibility and he can’t say no to temptation.”

Lucas hates hearing every word spoken against Nathan, is even tempted to scream at Jake for daring to even suggest those things. But they’re true, it hurts like a bitch, but he knows every word is true. He eyes clench as his heart physically aches. “I hate him so much,” Lucas grinds out, emotionally. “But I love him just as much. Maybe more. I don’t know how to stop!”

Jake sits by him, sympathetically, listening to Lucas without saying a word.

“I can’t forgive him for this. Not again,” Lucas says, barely believing the words as they fall from his lips. The first time he’d been shocked, angry and hurt…it’d been easy to say things he didn’t mean. This time, he knows that his choice will have to be final. If he says he can never forgive Nathan, he’ll have to mean it. It’ll be the end. It scares him to death.

“It’s going to get easier,” Jake assures him.

Lucas frowns at him. “How the hell would you know?” The anger surprises them both. Jake looks away awkwardly, perhaps even a little hurt. And Lucas immediately feels guilty. “I didn’t mean…I’m sorry.”

“You’re hurting,” Jakes tells him, standing up. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I just want to help. Anything you need, I’m here, okay?”

Lucas resists asking him to strip off and fuck him like a crazed animal, preferably in front of Nathan. “You’re the only person I can talk to about this.”

“You can tell me anything.” Jake smiles, warmly. “You know that.”

*~*~*~*

“He’s not here, Nathan.” Karen repeats, giving the boy a strange look as he paces in front of the door. “Has something happened?”

“No! I just…need to see him.” He explains, desperately. “If he comes home, will you tell him…” He stops, realising that no message he could leave with her would do any good. “Just tell him he has to let me explain.”

“Goodnight,” Karen says, pointedly, shutting the door on him. Confused and worried, she picks up the phone and calls Lucas’ cell, leaving a message on his answer phone. “Lucas, it’s me. I know you’re staying at Jake’s tonight, but Nathan’s been round and he’s really upset. I didn’t tell him where you were, like you asked me to, but you should really talk to him. And maybe you should explain to me exactly what’s going on? Call me tomorrow.”

*~*~*~*

The car squeals as it makes the turn. Too much speed, not enough control… the story of Nathan’s life. He’s been round to Jake’s several times before. Not much, since the baby, but certainly enough to find the house with ease. Lucas’ truck is there, just as he’d predicted. Any sense of relief at finding him is overshadowed by all the fear and jealousy that has been building up from the moment he first saw Jake looking at Lucas that way. He parks on the other side of the road and tries to calm down, refusing to blow this.

But the idea that every second that is currently passing could be the difference between stopping them and interrupting them…

And the worst part is. He knows he deserves it. This is exactly what Lucas had to go through. Except he has images. Pictures in his head of Nathan’s cheating. And for that Nathan hates himself so much more.

He looks up at the house as a light goes on upstairs. He sees Jake, wondering around, talking to someone. His heart stops.

And then Lucas comes into view.

Nathan’s out the car and at the front door as fast as humanly possible.

*~*~*~*

“I’ve got some spare clothes if you need them,” Jake explains, pulling open his wardrobe and tossing a few things on the bed. “You can take the bed, I’ll sleep in Jenny’s room.”

“No way, you don’t have to give up your bed for me. I’m fine on the floor,” Lucas assures him. “Please, I feel bad enough for invading your home as it is.”

“No need to be! My parents are away, I could use the company. I love my daughter but her conversational skills leave something to be desired…” Jake jokes, slapping Lucas’ arm playfully. “And I like having you around.”

“Right back attcha,” Lucas replies, smiling.

There’s a moment of silence between them where Lucas thinks that maybe Jake is going to lean forward and kiss him. His chest clenches and he begins to panic, afraid that if it happens it’ll ruin everything. But before it has a chance to happen, the front door begins shaking from the pounding it’s being given. Lucas knows immediately who it is and groans in horror. He thinks that maybe he’d prefer the awkward kiss after all.

“Shit, that’s gonna wake Jenny,” Jake complains, running off the answer the door before she wakes up.

Lucas follows; not wanting Jake to take the crap that Nathan will inevitably throw at him if he tries to claim Lucas isn’t there or doesn’t want to see him. He lets Jake open the door and the moment he sees Nathan, quickly gets in between the two. “Nathan, what the hell?”

“I’ve been looking for you,” Nathan starts, looking over at Jake for telltale signs that might give away what the two were up to. He sees Jake look away and wonders if maybe there’s guilt there. That maybe something has or was about to happen. “Luke, let me talk to you. Explain.”

“Keep it down guys, Jenny’s asleep,” Jake tells them, his voice tight as he heads upstairs, leaving them to it.

“He’s right. You shouldn’t be here. Just go,” Lucas orders. “I’ve got nothing to say to you.”

“Well, tough, ‘cause I have something to tell you,” Nathan argues.

“No, Nathan! I’m sick of crying over you!” Lucas hisses, not giving a shit what Nathan thinks of him for admitting it. “You’re not worth it.”

“Luke,” Nathan begins, trying to plead, do anything…

“Stop!” Lucas demands, seriously. “You blew it. No more.”

“Luke, come on…”

“Over,” Lucas whispers, before getting louder. “We’re over. Me and you are done.”

“You don’t mean that,” Nathan argues. “You can play pretend with Jake all you like, you love me, not him. No amount of lying is going to change that.”

“If loving you means hurting this badly, I can live without you,” Lucas states, firmly. “You’re not worth the effort.”

“You’re wrong,” Nathan says, oddly calm. “You’re wrong and you know it.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lucas tells him, eyes fixated and jaw clenched. “I made my decision.”

“Luke…”

“Don’t talk to me anymore,” Lucas interrupts, coldly. “As far as I’m concerned, you don’t exist.”

*~*~*~*