Path of Forgiveness

[ A/N :: Muahaha, I'm on a fucking roll. ]

CHAPTER THREE - FLICKER OF HOPE

“You rang, Xena?” Ares asked, smirking as he made his way over to us.

Everytime I see that man my stomach boils with anger. I know I can’t blame him completely for how I was as Livia, but he had a large part in it. He corrupted Mother just as he corrupted me. Him becoming mortal I thought would change him, but I guess that was too much to hope for. The only time he ever shows compassion is when it comes to Mother, since he’s in love with her. I really don’t know why he doesn’t just give up, it’s obvious Mother’s heart belongs to Gabrielle. Or obvious to me at least.

Mother scowled, her upper lip curling. I stepped instinctively behind her. “What the HELL is going on, Ares? Still trying to play games with me?”

Ares smiled, “Xena, Xena, Xena...” he went to touch her face but Mother slapped his hand away. He just laughed it off. “You honestly didn’t think that just because you saved your daughter from the Amazons wrath that I would stop my plan for the biggest war in history, did you? This has nothing to do with you, and everything with me.”

Mother growled at him. “Ares... I’m warning you...”

“Warning me? You forget Xena, I’m the God of War, and you.. you...” he laughed a little as he circled us both, “No longer have the power to kill me. So what are you going to do Warrior Princess?”

“I’ll stop this.”

“Really! How? Out of curiosity, by the way, how’s Varia doing? She had such potential, pity you ruined it.”

Mother took a step forward towards him and he took a step back. “Stay away from Varia.”

He put up his hands, “Hey, I don’t want her anymore. I’ve been watching her, she’s starting to grow soft, fast. And I have no use for that.”

“Not being a murderer doesn’t make someone soft,” I say.

He looked at me, “You had potential too, Livia. Too bad Mommy saved you.”

I glared at him, “My name is Eve.”

He sighed dramatically and waved his hand, “Livia, Eve, potato, tomato, or however that goes. Your still the same person, no matter what name you go by.” I felt a sting in my heart, he was right.

Mother pulled her sword and pointed it at Ares, “I think you should stop talking to my daughter now.”

“Overprotective much? No matter, Eve bores me, at least when you weren’t around she had spunk. Much like what you had, when we first met.” He smiled, no doubt remembering when Mother fought at his side.

“Ares, you have about thirty seconds to get out of here.”

He stepped back, “Alright, alright, I can tell when I’m not wanted. Good luck beating me Xena, and good luck with having ‘the talk’ with your daughter, it seems she’s going to need it soon.” He laughed and disappeared.

Mother shook her head before turning to me. She looked at me a moment, no doubt replaying Ares’ last words in her head, “Do we have something we need to talk about?” Mother was never really that great at those mother-daughter type conversations. Not that I needed one. I have no idea what Ares is even talking about.

“Not that I know of.”

She looked me in the eyes for a long time, obviously checking to see if I was lying. When all she saw was genuine confusion she said, “Good.” She nodded her head towards the door, “We should get back.” She opened the door for me, and we exited the hut. Gabrielle was outside the door, trying to make it look like she wasn’t listening to everything that went on.

Mother smiled, “Gabrielle, you were never great at playing it natural.”

Gabrielle smirked, “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. So he’s still set on having his war? I should talk to Varia, prepare her for what’s about to come.”

Mother nodded, “Ares will stop at nothing until he has his way.”

“I know, that’s why we need to be prepared.” Gabrielle turned and left in search of Varia. I took a deep breath and looked around. Most of the bodies had been moved, and I could hear the cries of pain coming from the medical hut. The Amazons versus the Romans... this will be a blood bath.

Mother put her hand on my shoulder, and I did all I could not to cry for the pain that’s about to come.

*****

We all sat around the campfire, most of us in silence. There was a few odd whispers here and there, but mostly the air of the night was solemn. I watched the flames flicker against the night sky, and the sparks rise and fall. The crackling of it was a repetitive sound that made my mind wander.

I looked up as I felt someone sit next to me, it was Varia. She stared into the fire for a long time, and we sat there in silence for a good while. Until finally she spoke, softly, but spoken none the less, “Why?”

I looked up at her face in confusion, “Why what?”

She looked at me, the orange light of the fire making her skin glow and her features bold. “Why did you throw yourself on me like that?”

Why did I? It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the past couple of hours. At first, I thought it was because Varia’s life was important to the Amazon’s survival. Then, I thought it was because I needed to make amends with her and sacrificing myself would do that. But as I thought about it more, the more I didn’t want to think about it, because it was nearing an answer I didn’t want to be true.

I looked down, my tell tale sign that I’m not telling the entire truth. But Varia doesn’t know me all that well, so I doubt she would pick up on it. “Your life is valuable to the Amazon Nation. Without you, I don’t think they would survive.”

She looked at me, confused. “But you’re the messenger of Eli, you have this entire destiny that was formed before you were even born. How do you figure that my life is worth more than yours?”

She has a good point, on the outside. If you put it like that then what I did does sound stupid. But no one knows how I feel inside, how much guilt I carry around. How much I don’t feel like this bringer of peace.

I looked up at her, “It just is.”

There was silence for a little while. I could see the flames of the fire flicker in her eyes. We sat there for a little while, just looking at each other. Then she slid her hand over mine, and held it. I suddenly felt very hot, and I wish it was from the fire.

“Thank you.”

I felt my cheeks burn and I dropped my head, staring at the leaves on the ground beneath my feet. I whispered, “Your welcome.”

She put her finger under my chin and made me look at her, “When you did that... it reminded me of how my sister tried to save me. You did it the exact same way, did you realize that?”

I flashed back to her sisters body flung over hers, then to mine flung over hers not hours ago. I didn’t notice I did it, but it was all very similar. “No, I didn’t. I see it now, though.”

She smiled a little, the first time I’ve seen her genuinely smile at me after knowing who I really was. She leaned in and kissed my cheek softly, before rising, “Goodnight, Eve.” And with that she walked away, back to her hut.

My hand reached up tentatively to touch my cheek where she kissed me, and despite myself I smiled. I know I shouldn’t be feeling this, it’s so wrong. I murdered her sister, and though she is on the path to forgiving me, I doubt she has completely, even with me trying to sacrifice myself for her. I know the kiss was just friendly, that was obvious, wasn’t it?

I looked up and saw Gabrielle smirking at me from across the fire. She knew, but then again she always does. I just hope she doesn’t tell Mother. That’s one conversation I’m not looking forward to having.

I felt someone sit next to me again, and this time it was Mother. Oh Gods, I hope she wasn’t watching. But if she was she showed no signs of it, or didn’t mention it anyway.

“How are you feeling?” She asked me.

I shrug, “As well as can be expected. I’m worried, but so are we all.”

“The Amazons will pull through this, they’ve been up against tougher. Plus, they have us on their side,” she smiled at me.

“They have you and Gabrielle, I’m of no use to them, I barely fight.”

Mother put her arm around me and smiled, “Your forgetting something, Eve.”

I look up at her, “And what’s that?”

“You were the best commander Rome ever had, you have insight on the other side, and know how they operate. You know BETTER than how they operate now, and your knowledge will be very useful. Plus, your battle plans rival my own.”

I thought about that a minute, and smiled back a little, “Yeah, I guess your right.”

She hugged me tighter, “The sooner you learn your mothers always right, the better off you’ll be.” She laughed a little, and so did I.

“Well...” I rose from the rock I was sitting on, “I guess I should be going to bed. I’ll see you all in the morning. Goodnight, Mother.”

“Night, Eve.”

I turned and headed back to my hut, my mind plagued with a thousand different questions to a thousand different things, and yet I still couldn’t find the answer to a single one.

TBC...