To Feel
folder
Smallville › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
5,540
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Smallville › General
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
6
Views:
5,540
Reviews:
12
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Smallville, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 2
Lex’s POV
What am I doing here? I don’t know what is with my obsession about Clark?... Ok, that’s a lie. He’s compassionate, generous, and fucking gorgeous. Not to mention that there is something about him that completely intrigues me. If only he would tell me what it was that he was keeping secret... and of course tell me he’s gay, or bi; then everything would be perfect.
I hope that boy knows what I go through for him. Not only do I wake up at 7:00 to go to that damn farmer’s market to see him, but then he’s not even there! So of course I’m not going to stay, I have a cute farm boy who can deliver anything I could want. And since the parents are away, what a perfect time to visit.
When I arrive the first place I check is his fortress. He’s always up there, more so these last few weeks, but no one’s quite sure why. He’s not spending as much time with his friends; I should know since I try to keep pretty good track of his movements. It’s not necessarily stalking; it’s insuring the safety of a friend, and knowing what they’re doing, and who they’re with so that I could possibly show up at opportune moments like now.
I’ve had a lot of fantasies about this barn, or more specifically his fortress; coming up on him star gazing and wrapping my arms behind him, pulling his back against me. Sitting with him on the couch, helping with homework which slowly turns into something not nearly so chaste. Or walking up these steps, as I am, only to reach the top and see Clark laying on that same couch masturbating, stroking his huge cock and totally lost in the sensations. With that thought firmly implanted I continue up that steps, I give a quick call to him as I’m almost to the top, letting him know I’m there but not enough time to hide anything if he had be up to something. I almost laugh at the thought, like Clark would ever do something that wasn’t completely acceptable and innocent and…
I think I’m hallucinating. This isn’t right, I must be fantasizing again, but this wasn’t my fantasy, he was supposed to be masturbating not…
I can’t tare my eyes away from his arm and the blade that is still poised less than an inch above it. Blood is running down his arm and from what I can see there are multiple deep cuts all along it. Neither of us has moved; him with his arm still in mid air, and me with my foot raised for the final step and my grip tightening on the railing, trying to get a hold on what I’m seeing. I finally raise my shocked eyes to his that are staring at me with the classical deer in the headlights look.
“C-Clark, what are you doing?” I whisper, afraid that speaking too loud will shatter the tension in the air.
His only response is a tightening of his grip on the blade and pulling it closer. As if the first thing on his mind is making sure that I don’t take it away from him. He doesn’t seem to be able to get his mind to work in his panic and I take full advantage of his inaction by slowly growing nearer too him. He’s watching me like some wild animal, unsure yet if he should flee or attack.
“Clark, it’s ok. I just want to talk to you.” I say gently and slowly, hoping that even if he’s not catching what I’m saying, at least he’ll understand my tone.
I go even slower the closer that I get. Kneeling on the ground just a foot away and tentatively reach out for the blade. I watch as his eyes widen in panic, and know if I push him any farther he’ll snap out of his shock and I’d rather have him in calm-shock than desperate-panic.
“Easy Clark, it’s ok.” I say again and back away a little. “Clark… why are you cutting yourself? Talk to me.” I ask in a gentle calm voice, still not really able to believe what’s happening, that this is Clark.
“I have to. You don’t understand, no one will understand, you couldn’t. But I have to, I need to, you don’t understand.” He babbled, but at least he was talking, and thinking a bit more.
“Explain it to me Clark, I want to understand.” I implored, trying again to sound calm despite the fact that my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
“I can’t, but I want to, Gods do I want to. They tell me I can’t, that no one would understand, that they would just hurt me. But I think they’re wrong, you might; you’re the only one who might understand, the only one I could trust. You would understand wouldn’t you? You can see more than the humans in this town, understand things, know things, understand what someone could need; you wouldn’t try to stop me would you?” I tried to unravel what he had just said, but he was clearly still too upset to make since. It brought me to thinking about why he was doing this; I couldn’t think of a single reason, I thought he had the perfect life. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have not noticed?
“Clark, can you hand me the blade?”
“NO!” His loud vehement response caused me to jump a little; you’d think I suggested destroying the planet. “I can’t be apart from it, I need it, you should understand, I thought you would understand…”
“Clark.” I said a little more harshly to grab his attention. “Hand me the blade, and when your parents get home we can all sit down and talk about the problems that you’re having together.”
Clarks eyes widened again with such horror, and he seemed to break at even the thought I proposed.
“No, please Lex, pleaseLexplease. You can’t! They don’t understand, they know and they don’t understand. They don’t know what it feels like, how empty it is. They’ll try to take it away, think it’s just another phase that I can get over, something I can adjust to. But I can’t, I can’t. I won’t live like that. They won’t believe me, believe that I need it, you believe me don’t you?” He turned pleading eyes towards me, and it pulled at my heart, but I didn’t know what to say. I just watched him as he stood across from me, eyes pleading for understanding while he held a blade in one hand and his other dripped with blood.
“Help me Lex. Help me and I’ll give you anything. I’ll tell you all the secrets, everything I know if you do.” I stood stunned once more, as I was tempted by his offer.
“Please Lex…” He said softly as he came closer and then kneeled at my feet looking up into my eyes. “Give me this and I’ll give you everything you've dreamer of, and more than you ever possibly could.”
It seemed that Clark was making more sense now, and the sensibility of his last statement rang very true for me. He was offering me everything I had wanted, no strings attached. Even a fool would go for that, and Luthors were far from being fools.
“Ok Clark. Why don’t you put the blade away, we’ll leave a note for your parents and then go to the mansion to talk.” I offered him.
“No, I can’t put it away, not yet, don’t ask me to yet.” He said with such desperation that I couldn’t understand.
“Alright, then wrap your arm in this at least, ok?” I asked tossing him an old shirt that had been lying around and was pleased to see that he didn’t hesitate further. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t even put the blade away, but at least we had made some progress. After he quickly took the jar with blood and hid it beneath the couch, I was surprised though to see that no blood had gotten anywhere else. When he was done he turned to me, waiting for his next command, so I gave him a nod of agreement and led him down the stairs and away from his fortress.
What am I doing here? I don’t know what is with my obsession about Clark?... Ok, that’s a lie. He’s compassionate, generous, and fucking gorgeous. Not to mention that there is something about him that completely intrigues me. If only he would tell me what it was that he was keeping secret... and of course tell me he’s gay, or bi; then everything would be perfect.
I hope that boy knows what I go through for him. Not only do I wake up at 7:00 to go to that damn farmer’s market to see him, but then he’s not even there! So of course I’m not going to stay, I have a cute farm boy who can deliver anything I could want. And since the parents are away, what a perfect time to visit.
When I arrive the first place I check is his fortress. He’s always up there, more so these last few weeks, but no one’s quite sure why. He’s not spending as much time with his friends; I should know since I try to keep pretty good track of his movements. It’s not necessarily stalking; it’s insuring the safety of a friend, and knowing what they’re doing, and who they’re with so that I could possibly show up at opportune moments like now.
I’ve had a lot of fantasies about this barn, or more specifically his fortress; coming up on him star gazing and wrapping my arms behind him, pulling his back against me. Sitting with him on the couch, helping with homework which slowly turns into something not nearly so chaste. Or walking up these steps, as I am, only to reach the top and see Clark laying on that same couch masturbating, stroking his huge cock and totally lost in the sensations. With that thought firmly implanted I continue up that steps, I give a quick call to him as I’m almost to the top, letting him know I’m there but not enough time to hide anything if he had be up to something. I almost laugh at the thought, like Clark would ever do something that wasn’t completely acceptable and innocent and…
I think I’m hallucinating. This isn’t right, I must be fantasizing again, but this wasn’t my fantasy, he was supposed to be masturbating not…
I can’t tare my eyes away from his arm and the blade that is still poised less than an inch above it. Blood is running down his arm and from what I can see there are multiple deep cuts all along it. Neither of us has moved; him with his arm still in mid air, and me with my foot raised for the final step and my grip tightening on the railing, trying to get a hold on what I’m seeing. I finally raise my shocked eyes to his that are staring at me with the classical deer in the headlights look.
“C-Clark, what are you doing?” I whisper, afraid that speaking too loud will shatter the tension in the air.
His only response is a tightening of his grip on the blade and pulling it closer. As if the first thing on his mind is making sure that I don’t take it away from him. He doesn’t seem to be able to get his mind to work in his panic and I take full advantage of his inaction by slowly growing nearer too him. He’s watching me like some wild animal, unsure yet if he should flee or attack.
“Clark, it’s ok. I just want to talk to you.” I say gently and slowly, hoping that even if he’s not catching what I’m saying, at least he’ll understand my tone.
I go even slower the closer that I get. Kneeling on the ground just a foot away and tentatively reach out for the blade. I watch as his eyes widen in panic, and know if I push him any farther he’ll snap out of his shock and I’d rather have him in calm-shock than desperate-panic.
“Easy Clark, it’s ok.” I say again and back away a little. “Clark… why are you cutting yourself? Talk to me.” I ask in a gentle calm voice, still not really able to believe what’s happening, that this is Clark.
“I have to. You don’t understand, no one will understand, you couldn’t. But I have to, I need to, you don’t understand.” He babbled, but at least he was talking, and thinking a bit more.
“Explain it to me Clark, I want to understand.” I implored, trying again to sound calm despite the fact that my hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
“I can’t, but I want to, Gods do I want to. They tell me I can’t, that no one would understand, that they would just hurt me. But I think they’re wrong, you might; you’re the only one who might understand, the only one I could trust. You would understand wouldn’t you? You can see more than the humans in this town, understand things, know things, understand what someone could need; you wouldn’t try to stop me would you?” I tried to unravel what he had just said, but he was clearly still too upset to make since. It brought me to thinking about why he was doing this; I couldn’t think of a single reason, I thought he had the perfect life. How could I have been so wrong? How could I have not noticed?
“Clark, can you hand me the blade?”
“NO!” His loud vehement response caused me to jump a little; you’d think I suggested destroying the planet. “I can’t be apart from it, I need it, you should understand, I thought you would understand…”
“Clark.” I said a little more harshly to grab his attention. “Hand me the blade, and when your parents get home we can all sit down and talk about the problems that you’re having together.”
Clarks eyes widened again with such horror, and he seemed to break at even the thought I proposed.
“No, please Lex, pleaseLexplease. You can’t! They don’t understand, they know and they don’t understand. They don’t know what it feels like, how empty it is. They’ll try to take it away, think it’s just another phase that I can get over, something I can adjust to. But I can’t, I can’t. I won’t live like that. They won’t believe me, believe that I need it, you believe me don’t you?” He turned pleading eyes towards me, and it pulled at my heart, but I didn’t know what to say. I just watched him as he stood across from me, eyes pleading for understanding while he held a blade in one hand and his other dripped with blood.
“Help me Lex. Help me and I’ll give you anything. I’ll tell you all the secrets, everything I know if you do.” I stood stunned once more, as I was tempted by his offer.
“Please Lex…” He said softly as he came closer and then kneeled at my feet looking up into my eyes. “Give me this and I’ll give you everything you've dreamer of, and more than you ever possibly could.”
It seemed that Clark was making more sense now, and the sensibility of his last statement rang very true for me. He was offering me everything I had wanted, no strings attached. Even a fool would go for that, and Luthors were far from being fools.
“Ok Clark. Why don’t you put the blade away, we’ll leave a note for your parents and then go to the mansion to talk.” I offered him.
“No, I can’t put it away, not yet, don’t ask me to yet.” He said with such desperation that I couldn’t understand.
“Alright, then wrap your arm in this at least, ok?” I asked tossing him an old shirt that had been lying around and was pleased to see that he didn’t hesitate further. I didn’t understand why he wouldn’t even put the blade away, but at least we had made some progress. After he quickly took the jar with blood and hid it beneath the couch, I was surprised though to see that no blood had gotten anywhere else. When he was done he turned to me, waiting for his next command, so I gave him a nod of agreement and led him down the stairs and away from his fortress.