Jumping Over Shadows

Pairing: Clark/Lex
Disclaimer : Smallville belongs to DC comics and WB. This is non-profit entertainment, and no infringement is intended so please don't sue me.

A/N: This is an AU Alien!Clark/Lex fic. I have changed the original episode content in places in order to bend the story to my whims.

Please note I am using May 15,1986 as the date on Clarks birth certificate and September 28, 1980 For Lex. That makes Clark 14 at the beginning of Season One and Lex 20. At the beginning of this Story, Clark is 16 and Lex will turn 22 in September.

Beta Love: A Huge thanks to skuf for her beta skills and always helpful critic. Any remaining mistakes are my own. Please feel free to point them out.

OoOoOo


Chapter 3
Lost and Found

Lex felt the involuntary smile at the same moment he spotted Clark on the sidewalk outside the Talon. For someone who was notoriously late, Clark was not only punctual, but in possession of two large coffee cups. He pulled the Range Rover into the next available parking space a bit further down the street and waited.

Late this afternoon, he had received a somewhat cryptic phone call from Clark suggesting that they meet downtown. Although he was certainly curious as to where they were going, it didn’t really matter; if Clark was truly ready to tell him what he had been hiding all this time, Lex would have agreed to meet him at the town dump.

A burst of clammy heat invaded the car as the passenger door swung open and Clark slid into the seat beside him.

“Hey, Lex.” He grinned and handed over one of the cups. “Cappuccino with milk froth, no sugar.”

Lex felt the smile he was already wearing stretch a little wider. “Thanks. Been waiting long?”

“Nope. I just walked out with our coffee when I spotted you coming down the street.”

Lex nodded as he peeled open the drink slot. “I hope the car and the clothing suit,” he said dryly. It had amused him to no end when Clark specified he drive something bigger than a matchbox and that he wear jeans.

“Sorry about that,” said Clark sheepishly. “I wanted to be somewhere other than your house, or mine. I thought we could just drive around if it rained, otherwise park somewhere and find a place to sit and talk. I wanted us to be comfortable either way, and, well, I felt kind of guilty about the grass stains on your good pants.”

Lex placed his coffee in the cup holder and glanced over at Clark, who was determinedly looking elsewhere. “I appreciate your concern for my wardrobe. So, where to?” he asked, backing out of the space.

“Turn left at the light and then head out towards Chandler’s field. When you get to the first fork in the road go right, at the second go left; there’s a place to park the car at the end of the street.”

“Okay.” Lex couldn’t remember ever being down that way, but was sure it was some deserted corner of Smallville only a true local would know about. “Was there a specific reason you didn’t want to come out to the mansion?”

Clark shrugged. “This is important and I wanted to be sure we’d be alone – free of parents, staff, and anyone or anything that might disturb us.” Clark gave him a significant look.

“You can be sure I took care of the bug problem after that last fiasco, Clark. I’ve also made sure my private rooms are secure – we don’t have to drive to the outer dregs of Smallville to have a private conversation.”

“Certain is certain, Lex. Anyway, you need to get out in the fresh air more often,” Clark teased him, and then reached over to lightly finger the arm of his long-sleeved T-shirt. “Don’t you ever wear short sleeves in summer?”

“No. Fair skin – it either burns or turns into a mass of freckles; very unattractive.” Lex reached over and picked up his cup. When he glanced at Clark mid-sip, he could see there was a question stalled behind his lips. “What?”

“I never asked before, but, um, were you blond, I mean, you know, before…” Clark trailed off awkwardly, unsure if the question would bother him.

Lex grinned at him. “Nope. Flaming redhead.”

“Really?” Clark stared at him for a moment, a curious expression on his face. “That’s kind of hard to picture.”

“One of these days I’ll dig out some old photos for your amusement.” Lex turned off onto a small unpaved road. “You call this a street?” he bitched, swerving to avoid a large pothole only to hit the next one.

“Geez, Lex. This is an off-road vehicle, isn’t it?” Clark was shaking his head amusedly. “I doubt a couple of potholes will do it any harm. Anyway, it’s not very far to the end. Just pull off there to the left where the clearing is.”

Lex bit down the automatic reply about treating expensive cars with respect, because, well, Clark did have a point. He turned onto the small gravelled lot and, against his better judgment, turned off the engine. A sigh escaped his lips when the cool, dry air stopped flowing through the vents. If Clark was going to make him hike into those woods, in this muggy heat, he’d better compensate him with a damn good story. He grabbed his coffee, climbed out of the car and locked it when he heard Clark’s door slam shut.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Clark laughed as Lex came around to his side of the car. Pointing his coffee cup in the direction of the woods, he said, “Just over that little bridge is an old picnic area. You can even still see your car from there.”

“Great.” Lex sounded less than enthused.

“Hey…” Clark reached out with his free hand and lightly grasped Lex’s wrist; without thinking twice, Clark moved in and kissed him. Lex’s mouth was warm coffee. The subtle pressure of Lex’s hand against his chest came quickly, and Clark pulled back, reluctantly ending the kiss.

“Clark, you need to be careful about doing that in public.” Lex looked around reflexively.

“No one is going to see us here, Lex,” Clark grumbled and headed off towards the bridge. There wasn’t anyone around, though this wasn’t the moment to explain how he could know that simply from sight and sound. He felt the apprehension about coming clean with his secret coil in his stomach, and wished the kiss had lasted a little longer; it might be the last one he’d get for a while.

“You think there’s no one around, until tomorrow morning when you’re trying to explain the picture of us in the paper to your parents,” Lex replied, shuddering at the thought as he followed him over the bridge.

“There’s not going to be a picture, Lex. Anyway, my parents already know.” Clark turned around when he heard a small choked noise behind him.

“They know?” Lex was wiping coffee from his chin.

Clark nodded and continued on, ignoring Lex’s muttered ‘shit’ behind him. Things were getting off to a great start.

“Did they see us yesterday? Is that why you didn’t want me coming over to the farm?”

Clark cringed at the controlled panic in Lex’s voice. “No, they didn’t see us, and I already told you I wanted to talk away from both of our houses.” He sat down at an old stone picnic table wishing he had kept his mouth shut.

“Are you saying that you told them – that you volunteered the information?” He saw the truth of that on Clark’s face and said reproachfully, “So you just fucking outed me without bothering to ask if that was okay?” Lex sat down heavily on the bench opposite him and slammed his cup on the table.

“No, it wasn’t like that either. I didn’t tell them anything about you, just about me and how my feelings for you have changed.” Clark toyed with the plastic lid of his cup. “I’m sorry telling my parents upset you, Lex. I would never repeat anything you told me in confidence, but I don’t lie or try to keep things from them very often. This was something that wasn’t possible for me to hide any longer.”

Lex wanted to tell him that there wasn’t going to be anything to hide – whatever had happened between them was not going to repeat itself. The strange attraction would burn itself out, and they would both be best off keeping their distance from one another until it did. The unspoken words mocked him; he would never say them, because he knew he would never abide by them. Lex ran a hand over his scalp and looked into Clark’s worried face. Shit.

“What did they say?” Lex supposed it was a positive sign that Jonathan Kent hadn’t come looking for blood yet.

“It was more of a shock for my dad than my mom, but they’ll get over it – and they don’t think this is your fault.”

Lex let out a mirthless burst of laughter.

“It’s true. I know you have a hard time understanding how my parents, okay, mostly my dad, behave towards you. When you know everything about me, maybe it will make more sense,” Clark said quietly. His stomach was rolling.

“Which brings us, I believe, to the reason you hauled me out here in the middle of nowhere.” Lex was not pacified, but had no intention of getting into an argument; not before Clark made good on his promise to come clean.

Clark nodded, but remained silent, his eyes intent on watching his fingers fiddle with the lid of the cup

His obvious unease caused an unaccountable feeling of guilt to creep up on Lex, which totally threw him off balance. This meeting was all Clark’s idea; he had neither asked nor pushed for information; so why did he suddenly feel…nervous and uncertain? Why was he now thinking that this conversation might be a mistake?

“Look, Clark, we’ve been friends a long time. Do you really think I’m going to be judgemental or turn my back on you, no matter what it is? I’ve told you repeatedly that I’m here for you. You don’t have to hide anything from me, but if you’ve changed your mind, I won’t be angry.”

“You can’t know how you’ll feel until you know what it is, and once I’ve told you, it’s too late. I can never make you forget it, and you will never be able to forget, even if you want to.”

“Clark…”

“I said I would tell you, and even though I’m worried about your reaction, I want you to know.” Truthfully, he was more concerned with how angry Lex would be about being decieved, than how he would react to the whole alien thing.

“I swear that I never kept this from you because I didn’t trust you, Lex. I had to keep it from you because I promised my parents that I would never reveal my secret to anyone. If I lied to you – and you know I have,” Clark sighed and looked directly at Lex, who shrugged and nodded, as though that were a given, “I did so only to protect the promise I made. There were many times I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t break that promise.”

“And now – is that reason no longer valid?” Lex had an almost jealous respect for the kind of trust there was between Clark and his parents.

“It’s no longer a promise my parents can ask me to keep. Since I first made it, almost two years ago, I’ve grown up and things have changed; there has to be room for exceptions. I’ve already told them that I intended to explain everything to you, so I’m not going behind their backs.” He hesitated a moment, then continued, “I need your word, Lex that this conversation stays between us.”

“Of course you have my word,” Lex assured him without hesitation. His word being something of value in Clark’s eyes was impetus enough to make him keep it.

Realizing he couldn’t delay any longer, Clark stood up, reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a deerskin cloth. Clutching it in his hand he sat back down and looked at Lex, who merely cocked an eyebrow. The expression on his face quickly changed, when Clark opened the soft cloth and placed it, and the object it held, on the table between them.

“You stole that from me! You stole it and then repeatedly lied about it!” Lex grabbed the octagonal disk from the cloth and examined it closely; he had never expected to see it again.

“I didn’t steal it from you. I certainly could have, but I didn’t.” Clark kept his voice calm.

“No? Then how exactly is it that you have it?” Lex’s tone was icy. “If memory serves me correctly, I specifically asked you about it a couple of months ago and you lied about having it.”

“No, I didn’t. Are you going to let me explain, or not?”

Lex folded his arms over his chest, the disk tightly fisted in one hand, and waited for Clark to continue.

“Nixon is the one who stole it from you last year, just before the tornado. My mom saw him with it when he trespassed on our farm that day. I honestly don’t know where it disappeared to it after that, or where that disk turned up again, but I know who got their hands on it next.” Clark was relieved to see Lex’s aggressive posture relax.

“Who had it?” he asked, leaning his arms back on the table, the disk still clutched in his hand.

“Your father.” Clark smiled faintly as Lex cursed. “When those thugs broke into LuthorCorp and held my mom and your dad hostage, they emptied the contents of your father’s safe; that disk was in there. Apparently, in all the confusion, my mother ended up with it. She never told anyone she had it, not even my dad. When you asked me about the disk, Lex, I told you the truth. The last time I saw it was in your office before Nixon took it. I certainly never would have guessed that my mom had it.”

Lex’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “Your mom was working for my dad at the time, so I can understand that she would try to keep those miscreants from taking it if she could, but why wouldn’t she tell my father, or anyone else about it afterward – that doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because she knew that it didn’t belong to your father. She wanted to give it back to its rightful owner.”

“Well, she certainly didn’t give it back to me!”

“Just because you found it, doesn’t make it yours, Lex.”

“You mother is a very upright and moral person, Clark. I’m sure she had every intention of doing the right thing. The question remains, why is my disk still in your possession?”

“Because it belongs to me.”

Lex inspected the disk with exaggerated care. “Funny, I don’t see your name on it anywhere.” His voice was steady, but his fingers were trembling.

With inhuman speed, Clark took the disk from him, turned it over and placed it on the cloth. “That’s because you weren’t looking properly.” He carefully pointed to the Kryptonian symbol that he now understood to be his own. “That is my symbol, the name my biological parents gave me at birth. The same parents who created this disk, and built a spacecraft, for which this disk is a key.”

Clark could hear the startled reaction as Lex’s heart began to pound in double time and his pulse raced, even though his face remained calm.

Lex surprised himself by the first words he uttered, because they weren’t at all what he had meant to say. “I hit you with my car on the day of the accident. I hit you exactly the way that computer re-enactment shows it.”

“Yes, that’s how it happened,” Clark said simply. “The force of the impact knocked me into the water. I swam until I found your car and then ripped back the hood so I could get you out.”

“So the very first words you ever spoke to me were a lie – and you looked me in the eye and lied about it, every day after that.”

“Lex, I was fourteen at the time and totally unaware of how I could have survived being hit. I knew I was stronger and faster than other kids, but that accident really freaked me out. I was so distraught by what happened that my parents finally told me the truth about my origins,” Clark said patiently. “I was pretty damn well occupied trying to cope with that revelation to worry about whether or not I lied to you.” He sighed at the obstinate look on Lex’s face. “I was terrified, Lex. Do you have any idea what it’s like to be just another adopted teenager one day and the next to have your entire identity stripped away?”

Lex stared at him blankly for a moment. Why did he give a damn about that accident? The disk was a key – the key to a ship. Clark’s ship? Yes, if he claimed the disk was his, then the ship belonged to him as well. Parents. Right, he said his birth parents created the ship. Clark wasn’t just different, not just mutated by the meteor rocks in some astounding way; he was completely alien to this planet. Lex didn’t know why he was surprised by that revelation, but he was – then again, maybe it wasn’t surprise at all, but the side effect of a paradigm shift. Various pieces of information he had gleaned over the past year flashed before his eyes – the disk, the caves, the pilot who saw a ship go down – holy crap, there was a ship – an alien spaceship. Disgusted with his inability to order his thoughts in any meaningful manner, Lex carefully studied the face in front of him. He failed to see anything but Clark. Was there anything else to see? He absently picked up his cup and drained the last of the warm coffee from it.

“Lex, are you alright? You look really pale.”

“I’m fine. I’ve always known you were different, I just didn’t realise how different. What are you?” Lex sighed when he saw the hurt look on Clark’s face. “I didn’t mean it like that – like an insult. You appear to be human, of course, but, if you have a spaceship, you came from somewhere outside this solar system. Where and why? Is there some reason you haven’t gone back or that no one has come to get you?” Lex knew there were a million more appropriate questions to ask, but damned if he could think of them.

“There isn’t anyone left to come and get me – there isn’t anything left to return to. My biological parents sent me away as an infant so that I would survive the destruction of the planet. I think the meteor rocks that came down in Smallville are the remnants of Krypton…the planet I was born on,” Clark explained as matter-of-factly as he could. He still found it difficult to think about the parents who placed him in the ship; they had died without even the assurance their son would be safe. Clark ran a finger over the symbols on the disk, then looked up into inquisitive blue eyes. “I’m the last survivor of that culture – the last of my race.”

The explanation left Lex with an unexpected sense of melancholy. Discomfited by the emotion, he swallowed and pushed it down. This was ridiculous. Clark was a fucking alien. That knowledge alone should have him dancing in ecstasy; it was like winning at every game ever. The very thought of being so immensely one-up on his father should fill him with glee.

“Stop looking at me like that, Lex.” Clark sounded annoyed.

Lex blinked. “How am I looking at you?”

“Like a homeless person who just realized that I’m the winning lottery ticket. Stop it.”

Lex ran a hand over his face, his fingers lingering to rub his eyebrow. “Clark, I have about ten billion thoughts going through my head right now. And, let’s get real, you are a lot like a winning lottery ticket. You’re the winning power-bowl ticket in a game scientists, theologians, and philosophers have been playing at for centuries. Your very existence tears the unique event hypothesis to shreds and validates that humans are not alone in the universe. Do you have any idea what your existence means to the people on this planet?”

“Don’t go there, Lex. I didn’t have any choice about being sent here, and I have no intention of allowing anyone to turn me into some kind of Grail.”

“Clark, I’m not saying you should, but you can’t expect me to just ignore that the field of human science has just been blasted wide open. It’s – ”

“Look,” Clark cut him off. “Can we forget about the implications for the rest of the world right now? The only thing I care about is that this is okay between us; if there are things you need to know to understand, then ask me.”

Carte Blanche to ask Clark anything he wanted. Lex was almost dizzy with the possibilities. “You said you always knew you were stronger and faster than other kids. I know you can be hit by a car at over sixty miles an hour and not have a scratch…how fast are you?”

“Riding in any of your cars slows me down…way down.”

Lex’s eyes went wide in stunned appreciation. Somewhere his brain made a connection and, without meaning to, he muttered, “It was you.” The blur on the observation tapes from the Metropolis Museum was Clark escaping Phelan. Another loose end tied itself off and Lex knew it wouldn’t be the last one.

“What was me?”

He re-focused on Clark and waved his hand as if to dismiss his words. “Just thinking out loud. What else is there to know? Your appearance doesn’t give anything away; only the odd things that happen in your presence cast any suspicion on you – or is your appearance a façade?”

“No, it’s not,” Clark said, insulted. “You should know that better than anyone, Lex. I eat, and sleep, and can be hurt – you’ve seen me bleed just like anyone else. I’m not indestructible, just more durable than humans. When I was small, the only noticeable difference was my strength. As I got older my other physical abilities began to develop: speed, sight, hearing – all just enhancements of human abilities, okay?”

“So, you’re saying that the only thing that makes you different from the average human is that you’re stronger, move at incredible speed, and you can see and hear at an accelerated level. Is that it?”

“Well, yeah, except with the sight, I can sort of see through things, like an X-ray and,” he glanced up at Lex and then looked back down at the table, his fingers nervously toying with the cloth between them. “Um, and there is the thing with the heat…”

Jesus. Lex began racking his brain for odd memories that might have involved Clark being able to see through walls, and halted mid-thought. “Heat?”

Clark stopped worrying the corner of the deerskin and sighed. He picked up Lex’s empty cup and set it at the far corner of the table.

The cup burst into flames.

“Shit!” Lex made a sudden, startled move to jump away from the table and ended up tumbling over the bench, landing on his back in the dirt.

Clark was quickly at his side, helping him up. “I’m sorry, I should have warned you…” he offered in apology.

“What the fuck was that?” Lex did his best to school his voice towards annoyance, deliberately moving back away from Clark to wipe the dirt from his clothes. Fear was not a weakness that was wise to show at any time and most certainly not after such a blatant display of power.

“The heat vision. It only started happening this past fall – it takes a bit of getting used to.” Clark pressed his hands to his sides to keep himself from reaching out to calm Lex. He could feel his panic, but also his need to put distance between them. Clark wanted to kick himself for having been so careless.

Lex shook his head as he brushed the remaining dirt from his hands. “The fire at the school, the Talon…”

“Those were accidents – I didn’t even realize at first that it was my fault. When I did, I stayed home away from everyone until I could get it under control. I would never put anyone in harm’s way, Lex.”

“I didn’t say that you would.”

Heavy, uneven raindrops began to hit the leaves of the trees above them.

Lex was relieved to have an excuse to leave. “It’s going to pour. We should get out of here.” A clap of thunder underscored his words. Lex turned his head to look at the table, where the disk still lay on the tan colored cloth. When he glanced back at Clark, he noticed Clark’s hand was shoving something into his pocket, and the words he had wanted to say died on his lips. Lex knew without looking that the cloth and the disc were no longer on the table. “Jesus,” he muttered and began walking back to the car on unsteady legs, gratefully leaving the faint smell of melted plastic behind him.

OoOoOo

Lex curled up on his bed, one pillow clutched to his chest and his head nested in the remaining pile against the headboard. He was doing his best to keep his mind blank while waiting for the sedative to kick in. He wasn’t a great friend of medicating, but practical enough to know when it was needed. The situation with Clark was surreal, and he knew that if he could clear his mind and get a good night’s sleep, he’d be able to put everything in perspective in the morning. Eyelids heavy, Lex burrowed his head deeper into the pillows and sighed, content that sleep was so near.

Driving Clark back to the farm had started off awkwardly and ended in an argument. Clark wanted to continue their discussion and Lex wanted time alone. Clark suggested that maybe he had been wrong to believe Lex could handle something so important, and that he hadn’t known ‘being there for him’ meant running away at the first opportunity. Lex had countered by asking Clark if he was going to set anything in the car on fire. That had shut Clark up for the rest of the drive and he had exited the car without another word. Lex refused to feel guilty, he just needed sleep…

Panting and damp with sweat, he sat straight up in bed. Completely disoriented he looked around the room, which was bathed in early morning sunlight. His entire pillow collection was strewn about the floor and the sheets and blankets were twisted and hanging off the bed in several different directions. Lex groaned and fell back against the mattress. The night had been both endless and nonexistant. His dreams were filled with bizarre shadows and voices and the feeling of being watched – watched by Clark who could see through walls. Lex groaned again and rolled off the bed.

The clock on the dresser said it was quarter past eight, which meant he had slept for almost ten hours. His body was rested, it was his mind that seemed to have forgone nocturnal slumber; he felt distinctly unsettled and edgy. His thoughts automatically wandered to Clark, but he resisted, relegating those emotions to a compartment in his mind and firmly shutting the door on them.

What he truly needed was to get the hell out of Smallville for a while. The noise and the crowds of Metropolis offered their own kind of solitude and Lex wanted nothing more than to lose himself in it. The day spent in the restful quiet of his penthouse and the night immersed in hot, sweaty sex with one of The Colony’s fine patrons was exactly what the doctor ordered. Yes, Lex thought as he stepped under the hot spray of the shower – that was exactly what he needed.

tbc...