Heaven's a lie

A/N: Heaven's a lie;; Mixed and rewrote the lyrics to the actual Lacuna Coil song. Of the same name.


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Let me be

This Heaven's a lie

Set me free,

My Love

Set me free

Yeah

I had dreams.

Dreams where you and I were living in heavenly bliss.

Your brown eyes sparkled every time you caught my own.

Your soft lips took every breathe from my very soul.

You strong arms held me tight.

Comforted me through all my nightly frights.

But, dreams are meaningless. .

They are nothing more then a reality not meant to be. A slap in the face.

Prick teases, as you will.

I wish I could stop these dreams.

I wish I could stop feeling this way.

I wish I could tell you to go. Stop making my heart feel this way.

I wish... I wish of many things..

But my biggest wish:

I wish I could make you love me. ... The way I love you.

Days go bye, and you don’t ring my bell... as one might say.

I hear rumors that you are becoming romantically involved with someone.

The Delaney sisters are behind that one I can tell. I hear Seven’s name mention.

Oh, please! There is no way you would ever involve yourself with her. She is too much an equal. You seem to prefer someone who basically would be waiting on you hand and foot. That is definitely not Seven’s style.

But, it’s mine now. That is what you have brought me to. I’m so whipped right now, I don’t know if I can ever get the guts to tell you to leave me alone. Grow a pair, as I would say.

It’s got to happen. This is not a healthy relationship for anyone. Especially me.

I saw you are Sandrine’s tonight. I tried, I really did try to pay attention to the pool game I had with Harry, but I was distracted. You were talking to Seven, You were laughing. Smiling.

You never do that with me.

I just had to go. A forced smirk on my face, and a tall tale of how a certain Ensign was making her way to my room, got me out of there.

He didn’t know any better. He believed my lie.

I wish I could tell him the truth.

Sitting on my couch, I watch old movies from the twentieth century. In one hand an old fashion remote control for the television. The other hand, a glass of contraband liquor I was able to get a hold of. I lose myself in the my thoughts and never hear the door open.

You never bother to ring.

So I don’t ever bother to lock it.

You place yourself besides me, and grab the glass from my hand. Sniffing the contents, you then place it on the end table. .

A waiving finger is what I get. “That’s a no, no Paris. You should know better then that.”

I glance at you.. What a condescending asshole you are.

Forget you. I lean over to grab a hold of the glass, but you pushes me back.

I try to get up off the couch, but you keep me in place.

I see a sudden look upon your face. One that I really could not describe.

If I would take a guess, I would say it might be one of ... concern?

I shake that thought from my head. Since when you cared at all about me. I’m just a fuck. A whore.

I was right besides you when you told Dalby that.’ I’m nothing more then a whore. Open up and fuck anything and anyone that’s willing. ‘

Well, this whore has had enough.

You start to pull at my jeans.

My fly is opened and you start to pull them down my hips.

I don’t know where the strength came from. ‘Must be the alcohol.’ I push you away.

Never expecting that, I see you land hard on your ass.

There will not be an apology from me. EVER!

Anger crosses your features. I can’t take this any more.

‘What the hell?’ you yell at me.

Glazing into man I loves eyes, “No more. I’m no whore. No more.” I tell you.

Tears start to fall from my eyes. I refuse to allow you to see me cry. I have had far too much heartache caused by you. .

“LEAVE!” I tell you. Walking toward my bedroom. “Just go!” I refuse to look back. I just want to crawl in my bed and have a good cry. Maybe then, I’ll be all dried up and I could get on my life.

I lay my face down on my pillow. The tears seem endless. I know my pillows a complete wash out. But, I just can’t seem to stop myself. Love hurts. Love sucks. I will take my heart and bury it so far away, that no one will ever make me feel this way again.

Never.

I must of fallen asleep.

I feel refreshed, if you could believe it.

It doesn’t seem to hurt as bad.

I locked up my heart and threw away the key.

Who needs a heart. Who needs a love.

Not me.

A sudden swish of my bedroom door has me jumping up.

I turn and refuse to allow my heart to break free. It’s done. No more.

“Tom?” he says. His voice in a bare whisper. Concern evident in the tone.

“Commander.”

I don’t need him.

I don’t want him.

R/R