Guardian Devil

CHAPTER THREE: CONSENT

I felt Lex's lips on my forehead: soft and warm, but gone all too soon. Then he was speaking to me, telling me he had to go back ... back to the cellar and would I be all right alone for a moment ... just a moment. I wanted to clutch him to me, not let him go back in there. Jonathan could … could hurt him! But no, Lex couldn’t be hurt by the meteor rock, besides Lex had the meteor rock, and Lex’s men had guns. He would be all right. I needed to wait for him like he’d asked. I could do this.

I repeated his last words to me over and over again. Lex’s voice had always given me strength. I would remember things he told me, stories about historical figures, myths, scientific anomalies, movie commentaries, anything at all and it would block out the sound of the belt flying through the air and the crack of it against my flesh. Lex’s voice was life.

I hung onto the warmth his kiss had left with me. That warmth seemed to spill outward across my forehead, down my face onto my neck and into my chest. When it touched where my heart was, I heard a hoarse sob, so awful, so broken. Then I realized it was coming from me. The driver, one I didn't remember seeing before, must have heard the sound, too, because he came around to where I was, half-in and half-out of the limo. He fidgeted, shifting his weight from foot to foot, asking if I needed anything. I shook my head and dropped my face down so it was thrust into the collar of the coat Lex had placed around me. The poor driver still stood there, worrying his lower lip, probably wondering if Lex would fire him if he found me sobbing.

"I'll be all right," I told him and gratefully he slipped back to the driver's seat. I was so used to lying, giving a lop-sided grin and wide-eyed look, that this little untruth slipped off my tongue no problem. I wondered if I’d always associate the feel of a smile on my face with lying.

I breathed in Lex's scent of sandalwood and vanilla that permeated the collar of his dress coat. But underneath I could smell my own blood, sweat and fear. And Jonathan. Yes, I could smell him, too, the musk damp scent like something left underground too long. The drying blood on my skin began to itch and I shuddered at the mess it must have made on the silk lining of Lex's coat. I hope he burns this coat. No matter how many times it’s cleaned, I’ll still be able to smell this day on it. I never want this scent to touch Lex’s skin.

A black SUV barreled down the road to the farm. I recognized it as one of LexCorp’s vehicles. It screeched to a halt next to the limo and three men, dressed in dark suits jumped out. One carried a still camera, another a video camera and the third a heavy black bag. They nodded at the driver and me, their expressions unreadable behind their matching sunglasses, and hurried into the house. I thought I heard Lex’s voice, raised to direct them. I used my enhanced hearing to pick up on what he said.

“…I want everything bagged and photographed. All of it. This is insurance, Jonathan.” Lex’s voice was so sure, so calm, as if this was a LexCorp board meeting or he was ordering his favorite steak at a restaurant. “You’re going to sign every paper my lawyers put in front of you, won’t you, Jonathan? Because if you don’t, all this comes out. That you’re a child beater, that you’re one sick son of a bitch, and I will make sure that there is no where in this world that is safe for you to hide.”

Jonathan mumbled, but I made out a yes.

Lex went on, “Why did you do this? How could you do this to Clark? He’s innocent. He’s special.” I flushed with pleasure when Lex said that about me, even though I knew it wasn’t true, not in the good way he said it. “You’re job … you’re one fucking job in this life that meant anything was to take care of him … to protect him. And you do this!”

Jonathan was silent. I heard his ragged breathing.

“You have nothing to say? Nothing at all?”

“You’re the devil, Luthor.”

“What?” There was amusement and shock in Lex’s voice.

“You heard me. The devil. I tried to purify my boy, but he was so tainted with lustful thoughts of you I had to … send him away, before it was too late. But you stopped me and now … he’s lost.”

“Send him away? You mean …,” Lex made a strangled sound and his voice was no longer cool or calm at all. “You mean kill him, don’t you? You were going to … kill him today.”

Jonathan didn’t respond again. I used my x-ray vision and saw that he was standing there, sliding his hands over and over the leather of the gore slicked belt. His head was tilted to the side as if listening to someone only he could hear. Then Jonathan spoke again with certainty and conviction, “I see you, Luthor. I see you, Lucifer.”

There was silence and Lex’s body went rigid. In an almost graceful movement, he placed a gun against Jonathan’s temple, then I heard his voice, cold and low, “Do you know how little pressure I need to put on this trigger to put a bullet in your brain?”

My head jerked up. Lex was going to kill him. I didn’t care if Jonathan died, not really. But this would hurt Lex. This act would put him in danger. I staggered a few steps from the limo towards the front door, willing my body to use super speed, but it wouldn’t.

“Lex,” Dominic’s voice was shaking a little. “Don’t do this. He’s … he’s insane, Lex. It’s not worth it.”

“Dominic, he was going to kill, Clark.”

“But he didn’t. You stopped it, Lex. This is a mistake,” Dominic’s voice lowered and I saw that he saw whispering this last part in Lex’s ear, “There are too many people here … too many variables … to cover this thing up right.”

There was a harsh exhale of breath from Lex and I felt the tension leave both our bodies, “All right. Mrs. Kent should be home from delivering produce soon. Bring both of them to LexCorp. The lawyers will meet us there with the paperwork. And Dominic, if Jonathan so much as looks at you funny, feel free to use force to subdue him. I’m going to check on Clark.”

I watched Lex carefully slide the gun in the back of the waistband of his pants and jog lightly up the cellar steps. When he exited the house, I was still standing between the front door and the limo, gripping his coat around me. I didn’t know what the expression on my face looked like, but Lex’s eyes crinkled in sympathy. He flew down the steps and wrapped me in his arms. His lean muscled form felt so wonderful, so right against my own.

“I’m so sorry I left you alone, angel. You were worried I can tell, but I’m going to take you home now, okay?”

Home? He meant the castle. I nodded slightly as my face was pressed into the soft flesh of his neck. Something about Lex’s skin especially that of his neck and head had always fascinated me, like alabaster and silk, so touchable, kissable. I’ve always wanted to drown in that skin. I’m horrified when arousal floods me and I start to get hard. Jonathan’s right about one thing: I’m tainted. Maybe my alien blood makes me this way. Or maybe I’m just morally bankrupt because I’d have to be if my best friend could arouse me after all that’s happened. I draw away from the embrace even though it’s the last thing I wish to do.

“Clark?” Lex’s voice was kind; his eyes searched my face to see what was wrong. Lex is so beautiful.

“I have to … show you something,” I said and was surprised how hoarse my voice sounded. “Before you help me any more, you need to know … what I am.”

“Nothing you can show me or tell me, Clark, will deter me from helping you.” The way he said this made my knees weak, so determined, so strong. Under all that silk, Lex was steel.

“Please … come with me.”

He put a gentle hand on my lower back and I shivered a little. I lead him into the barn. My ship … the space ship that brought me to Earth over a decade ago used to be in the storm cellar, but after Jonathan decided that our punishment sessions needed to take place there, he had me move it to the far back of the barn, hidden under a tarp behind bales of hay. Jonathan was unsure if the artificial intelligence that was Jor-El would be able to do anything to stop him or help me during the punishment sessions so he didn’t want to take the risk.

“What do you need to show me in here, Clark?” Lex’s voice was like heaven in my ears.

The barn was dim in the fading light of day, but there was enough light to show Lex the ship.

“Don’t be afraid, Lex, by what I do now.” Then I used super speed to move the bales of hay and remove the tarp from the ship.

A sharp inhale of breath and a hissed exhale were his first reactions. His slate eyes widened as I was suddenly back in front of him.

“I knew you were fast and strong but … seeing is believing. I did hit you with my car that day, didn’t I?”

I nodded. “Everything you thought is true, Lex. Only there’s more, obviously,” I said and pointed to the ship. “I’m the one … the one who brought the meteors with me … when the ship crashed.”

“You’re an alien?” His eyes took in every bit of the ship, memorizing it.

“Yes.”

He smiled softly and his face was lit from within as if this knowledge released something inside of him. He reached out with one hand to caress the ship’s silver skin.

“It’s warm,” he remarked. “It’s … working, isn’t it?”

“Sort of. Its … there’s a consciousness, an A.I. in it,” I explained. The tension that had been building in me since I showed him my secret exploded into shivering. I wrapped my arms around myself. “Lex, I’m the cause of … all the bad things in Smallville. The … loss of your … your--”

“Hair? That doesn’t matter, Clark.” Lex wrenched his gaze from the ship to look at me. He saw me shaking and its like he had super speed for a moment, because I was in his arms again before I realized he had moved. He rubbed my arms, chest and back to try and stop the trembling. “It’s okay, angel. It’s okay.”

“No, Lex, no, I’m the cause … I’m not good, Lex. I’m not!”

Lex gripped my shoulders and forced me to look at his face, “Clark, listen to me, Jonathan is sick and wrong and a million other bad things--”

“He wasn’t lying, Lex, when he told you … I have thoughts … bad thoughts about… about…” I tried to say it, but it wouldn’t come out. About you, Lex. I had to confess everything. He’d reject me and I … I’d survive somehow. Or maybe I wouldn’t … and that would be okay, too.

“You have sexual thoughts about me, right?” Lex said it for me as if it were nothing, as if it were normal.

I hung my head. “You’ve always been so generous in your friendship with me, Lex. Thinking those things about you … was wrong, because you never meant to be anything but … friendly, kind to me … it was wrong.”

A myriad of emotions flickered through Lex’s eyes, but the one that stopped me cold was love and beneath that was something else, something hot and dark, but in a blink it was hidden and only the love remained. His voice was low and smooth like water flowing over glass, “Clark, there’s nothing wrong about what you feel for me. Nothing. It’s perfectly normal and natural for you to have these thoughts.”

“But--”

“I promise you … I assure you and I will say it as many times as you need to hear it in order to believe it … there is nothing wrong about what you felt or feel for me.”

“I ... I see you believe that and ... thank you, Lex.” And I meant it although I just still felt wrong inside. “You’re not … wigged out about the alien thing either, are you?” I added realizing I was more worried about how he’d react to the fantasies I had about him than the fact that I wasn’t human.

He laughed suddenly, a rich full sound that anyone hardly got to hear, which was a shame because it’s wonderfully soul cheering. “No, Clark. The scientist in me can’t wait to find out more. But more importantly, the friend in me is ecstatic to be trusted with such a huge secret. I promise that you’ll never regret taking me into your confidence about this … or about anything. I want … want to protect you, Clark.”

“I would have told you long ago … but my fa… Jonathan wouldn’t let me. Lex,” my voice was suddenly small, “what happens now? I don’t think I can stay here--”

“You are absolutely not staying here. You can’t be anywhere near him. Never fucking again will he get the chance to … hurt you.” Lex closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard. He tightened his grip on my shoulders and I felt tension fill him. He gave me a little smile then started worrying the scar on his lower lip with his teeth. “Clark, I have something to tell you myself. I … hope you’ll agree to it. It would make me very … very happy if you would.”

“Anything, Lex. I owe you my life.”

“I want to become your guardian, Clark.”

“Guardian? What do you mean?”

“Like my friend Bruce Wayne is to Dick Grayson, the teenager who lives with him, you remember? Bruce is Dick’s guardian. It would be like that. You would live with me. I would take care of everything. You’d be safe, Clark.” There was this open pleading in Lex’s face. This was something he desperately wanted. I wanted to give him this.

“But they’ll never agree. Jonathan and Martha, I mean. And if what Jonathan did to me goes to the police and courts … something,” I gestured towards the ship, “something might come out.”

Lex was shaking his head, “Don’t worry, Clark. Jonathan has already agreed.”

The papers he wanted Jonathan to sign, threatened him, in order to make him sign.

Lex continued, “Did Martha know about what was going on, Clark?”

I felt the sickness settle in my stomach, “She … she’d wash his clothes with all the … blood. But she was always out of the house when he did it. I tried to tell her once, but she … she kept talking about the pie she was making for me. She didn’t want to … hear it, I guess.”

Lex made a disgusted sound in the back of his throat, his eyes narrowed and something like hate flashed across his face. “She’ll agree to let me be your guardian, too, Clark. Trust me on that.”

“What about Lionel? Won’t he totally freak?”

Lex grinned. “Surely you know a bad reaction from my father would be the icing on the cake for me, not a deterrent. Besides I’ve got LexCorp now. He doesn’t have the control over me he used to. I’d take any amount of unpleasantness from him to have … to protect you. So the only person’s consent I need now is … yours. Will you be my ward? Will you let me be your guardian?”

Joy was a frightening, dangerous, wonderful thing. My whole being lit with it. A smile, a genuine smile, was crossing my lips. “Yes, Lex. Please I want you to be my guardian.”