Requests

Title: jakisbishlygay
Author: llewellynprince
Series: Drabbles
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard, McKay/Beckett
Category: romance, humor
Summary: Really, they should know better then to steal Rodney’s coffee.
Notes: beta’d by Lyndasty and Linda!

jakisbishlygay
Pairing: McShep, maybe with a little bit of Beckett
what you want one of the characters to say: McKay: "If you bring me my daily coffee injection, I'll pull your hair in all the right places..."
plot: huh? there needs to be a plot?
rating: as high as it goes


Major John Sheppard was officially scared out of his wits, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one.
Dr. Carson Beckett was relatively sure he wasn’t going to survive the rest of the day, and he was pretty sure he wasn’t the only one. “We’re going ta die,” he stated.
Major Sheppard nodded frantically in agreement.
“MAJOR, CARSON….” The threatening voice floated over their radios again and they grimaced.
Elizabeth stared at two of her chiefs. They looked terrified and rightly so if she was right about the voice on the other end of the radio. Bates arched an eyebrow.
“Was that-“
“Yes!” Carson and John said at once, turning pleading eyes on Elizabeth. “Please! Make him go away.”
“Major, Carson…If you bring me my daily coffee injection, I'll pull your hair in all the right places...” the voice sing-songed over the radio.
Elizabeth, Bates, and Caldwell turned different shades of red at the implications of that.
“See! We told you something was wrong!” John cried.
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. “What did you two do?” she asked bluntly, they spluttered.
“We dinna do nothing!” Carson claimed.
“It’s the truth!” John agreed. Elizabeth just looked at them. “Okay so it’s not the whole truth.” He admitted. She turned to Carson.
“We took his coffee,” Carson admitted. John sighed - so much for staying power.
“Why?” Elizabeth asked.
“Because he was being so damn annoying about it!” John sighed.
“I can’t believe you two did something so stupid,” she sighed.
“Ya donna have to tell us twice!” Carson moaned.
“Major, Carson if you ever want a hot shower again you’re going to tell me where the coffee is!”
“You’re screwed,” said Bates pointedly, Caldwell nodding in agreement.
They whimpered.
“Major Sheppard, Dr. Beckett, this is Zelenka. I wish to give you piece of advice. Give us back the coffee and we will not cause you harm. If you do not give us back the coffee…we make no promises.”
Carson and John swallowed and Elizabeth coughed to hide a chuckle. Zelenka may have been small and good-tempered compared to Rodney, but there were times when he was a force of nature in its self. She shook her head and turned to the two. “You’re on your own here Dr., Major, I suggest you hide.”

Two Hours later

Carson let out a sigh of relief. So far he’d managed to avoid Rodney and he just began to think that he might be able to do so for the rest of the day, when he saw his reflection on the wall down the hall. He managed to skip back the way he’d come before Rodney saw him and now he was headed towards his quarters, thankfully without any further sign of Rodney.
Stealing his coffee was the stupidest thing John or Carson had ever done, Rodney seethed as he headed towards Carson’s room, it was where he always hid. Honestly, though, he’d thought between the two of them at least they had more of a brain then that, maybe even half of a real one. Really! It’s not like they didn’t see him with the coffee everyday, usually every hour. He rounded the corner and saw Carson heading to his room not 20 feet in front of him. He grinned; this was almost too easy, at least the Major tried to hide even if Rodney always found him. He picked up his pace and slipped up quietly behind the doctor.
“Carson…” Carson jumped at least ten feet in the air, at the very least eight and spun around, backing into the wall.
“Rodney…Ur, hello,” he smiled sheepishly hoping to look innocent. Even if he managed it however, it appeared it wouldn’t matter as Rodney advanced and he had nowhere to go. “Look, lad, we can talk about this, right?” His voice cracked.
“Tell me where the coffee is and I’ll let you go.”
“I canna do that, Rodney and you know it,” Carson sighed then tried to inch away only to find Rodney’s hands braced on either side of his head, his face up close. Carson swallowed nervously. “Rodney?” The other man ignored him and cocked his head to the side before leaning forward so his breath ghosted over Carson’s ear.
“Tell. Me. Where. It. Is.”
Carson shivered as the voice washed over him. “No…Huh? Wait, Rodney! What are you doing?” he panicked as Rodney dropped to his knees in front of him and started working on his fly. “Rodney?!”
“Tell me where the coffee is,” Rodney got his zipper open and reached in, pulling out Carson’s cock and stroking it to hardness.
“No-uhg!!!” Carson gasped as Rodney swallowed him whole and sucked. Carson sputtered and tangled his hands in Rodney’s shirt. “Rod*gasp*ney, I *groan* can’t! Uhhh!!!!” Rodney doubled his efforts, holding Carson’s hips against the wall as the other man started thrusting into his mouth. “Ahhh!!!!” Carson moaned, God! Rodney was good at that! Figured with the mouth he had on him! He whimpered, should ‘ave known Rodney would fight dirty. He could feel his orgasm coming when Rodney suddenly pulled back. He looked down and Rodney had a smug smile on his face. “Rodney?!” he whined, his breath coming out in gasps.
“Where’s the coffee?” Rodney asked, his voice low, it sent a thrill through Carson who held out for a few more seconds and before giving in.
“Sheppard’s got it! Now, please-“ Carson moaned as Rodney took him back in his mouth then jumped when he started humming. God, the vibration brought on his orgasm and he bit his lip to keep from crying out.
Rodney swallowed and hummed bring Carson to the edge and over it, he swallowed the tangy liquid and rocked back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He smirked and looked up at Carson. His face was red and his mouth open and panting.
“Thanks,” Rodney said with in a low voice that sent a whole new group of shivers down his spine. Rodney stood and headed off down the hall towards Sheppard’s quarters. Carson could practically see the smugness coming off him and he wondered if John knew what was coming. Groaning he slid down the wall and collapsed in a heap. He didn’t care if anyone saw him, he had no energy left.


1 Hour Later

John paused at the fork in the hall, mentally debating the chances of getting Radek and the other scientists to help him. Normally they probably would have, just to see Rodney get worked up at something other then them. However, John was realizing that was only the case as long as no coffee was harmed in the event. Whilst he hadn’t actually harmed the coffee, he wasn’t sure how you could unless you counted drinking it and that said, it was really the scientists who caused all the damage so—“GAAHH!!!!”
*thud* okay, that was the wall.
*crash* and that was the floor.
“Fuck!”
*crack* Holy %#$*!
*swish* Wow, the floor was cold.
*tie* What the fuck?! Where’d that rope come from?
“Ha!”
“What the hell! McKay?! Rodney! Where are we going? Get off me! Hey, untie me!”
Rodney grinned. “No. Way. In. Hell. Major.” He cooed.
“Goddammit Rodney! Untie me! And its Lt. Col. I got promoted.”
“Yes, which is why many people worry about the military leaders these days.”
John growled, then glowered, but neither seemed to have any effect as Rodney hauled him up and dropped him in a chair, closing the door to John’s room behind them and when the hell had Rodney gotten so strong?
“What are you doing?” He asked suspiciously. Rodney ignored him and kept poking around his quarters. “Hey! Don’t go through my stuff! Rodney?!” He spluttered; Rodney was going through his underwear drawer, casually flinging underwear everywhere, John blushed as his yellow smiley face boxers went flying and landed on his balcony. “Rodney…”
“I wouldn’t have to do this Lt. Col. if you would just tell me where the coffee is,” he paused, as if to give John a chance to answer and when he didn’t, continued without missing a beat. “But since you won’t, and I know you have it, it’s a matter of eliminating the possibilities,” he explained smugly and started going through John’s bathroom.

An hour later

Rodney let out a string of curses that would have made any sailor proud. The coffee wasn’t in John’s quarters and he’d already checked everywhere else. He glanced at John, still tied up; sitting in the chair Rodney had tossed him in, staring at his room in dismay. Granted he had a right to. Rodney had torn his room to shreds searching for the coffee and he hadn’t even found it. He muttered under his breath.
John sat in a stupor, staring around his room, or what was left of it. Geez, Rodney hadn’t left one thing right side up. He snapped out of his stupor and turned a glare on Rodney. “You are picking everything up,” he growled and on lesser men it would have had an effect, on Rodney, well it just served to make him more annoyed, which meant he was going to suffer more. Why couldn’t he ever remember that? Suddenly he shivered. The look on Rodney’s face…. “McKay?” he squeaked and any other time he would have berated himself for it, but now, he really didn’t care because Rodney was looking at him like he was the missing coffee and he’d been missing for longer then a few hours. “Rodney?” his voice broke as Rodney advanced and dropped to his knees in front of him.
Rodney grinned as John’s voice broke and he blushed when Rodney busied himself with he snaps on his BDUs.
“Rodney?”
“Yes, Major?”
“What are you doing? And it’s Lt. Col.”
“Of course, I apologize, I forgot,” Rodney grinned when Sheppard went bug-eyed.
“Huh? WhaAHHH!!” John jumped when Rodney’s calloused, warm hand wrapped around his cock and gave a firm stroke upward, fingers ringing the head.
Rodney grinned. “I’ll stop when you tell me where the coffee is.”
John glared at him; he wasn’t that easy, “No way in heLLL!!!!!” Okay maybe he was. His head fell back and his eyes rolled back in his head as Rodney wrapped his lips around the head of his cock and licked the liquid gathered at the tip. He made a sucking noise and gave a happy sigh, which alone made John squirm. “Rodney!!” He panted. Damn, Rodney was good with his mouth, no scratch that, he was great with his mouth! Which he realized, he should have guessed long ago. He moaned.
Rodney pulled back long enough to see John’s eyes roll back in his head and gave a small, satisfied smiled before deep-throating the Major-Lt. Col. and he got a ridiculous amount of pleasure from the surprised jump the John made.
“Holy %#$^#@!!! Rodney! Ugh!” John tried to thrust his hips, tried to force his cock further into the wet heat of Rodney’s mouth, but he couldn’t and he let out a sob of frustration. Rodney seemed to take pity on him because he pulled back and sucked, hard. “Yesss!!!” John hissed, with a moan of relief and pleasure; letting his body go slack in the chair.
Rodney grinned around John’s cock; it wouldn’t be long now. He turned his attention back to John’s erection. The soft, warm shaft was thick and heavy in his mouth and like its owner, rather stunning to look at. Oh, they were definitely going to do this again. He reached up and cradled John’s balls in his hand, massaging them gently.
John let out a happy sigh when Rodney fingered his balls, and spread his legs wider, allowing the scientist more access. He was rewarded when Rodney mouthed his balls, sucking lightly before moving lower, his tongue circling John’s entrance. John let out a cry of surprise as Rodney’s tongue pressed inside him. His hips bucked off the chair on their own, his legs widening even further, his body moving of its own accord, reacting to the pleasurable movements of Rodney’s hands and tongue. “Oh god!” He whimpered, his head falling back. “Rodney!”
Rodney smiled and pressed his tongue further inside John, rimming him. It made John arch off the chair and let out something suspiciously like a scream past swollen lips. He smirked and pulled back.
“Don’t…ugh…stop!! Please!” John begged, though he’d deny it to the end of his days.
Rodney sucked John’s leaking cock back into his mouth, putting his tongue and teeth to good use.
John thrust upward into the warm cavern of Rodney’s mouth as Rodney deep-throated him, a sensation John had never felt before.
Rodney carefully slicked a finger in his mouth then found John’s hole and slipped it in without a moments notice. John arched up off the chair with a howl, and then after adjusting to the intrusion, did the hottest thing Rodney had ever seen.
He started fucking himself on Rodney’s finger, pressing himself down onto the finger whenever Rodney moved to pull out, whimpering when Rodney pressed against his prostrate. His entire body quivering when Rodney crooked a finger and scraped it down his inner walls. He felt Rodney’s throat muscles contract around, massaging his dick and then Rodney started humming and John started seeing stars.
Rodney watched John’s face as he hummed. Sweat rolled down over his forehead, his hair plastered to his head, his face contorted, eyes rolling back in his head, as his mouth opened in an endless scream as his body hummed, then went taunt, then seemed to explode in Rodney’s mouth.
John felt his body go taunt, like a bowstring pulled ready to fire, it held there, nerves sharpened, the fire in his veins froze, everything holding then released with the force of a tidal wave on the turn of a dime. His orgasm slammed into him, and then seemed to wash right through him, pulling him after it, fire erupting into an inferno.
Rodney swallowed as John came, the tangy, warm liquid sliding over his tongue. He swallowed it all, milking John’s cock for all it was worth. He then rocked back on his heels and gracefully stood up, licking his fingers. He leaned forward sliding the fingers into John’s mouth. “Mmmm, so, the coffee?” he whispered nipping John’s ear.
“Armory,” John gasped, taking huge gulps of air.
“Mmmm, thanks,” he nipped John’s neck one last time, hard enough to mark and high enough for said mark to be seen.
“Mfurblegur,” John just lay boneless over the chair, too shocked and sated to move.