Hindsight

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda nor do I profit from my writing of Fan Fiction. All licensing and trademark rights belong to Tribune Entertainment

Author's Note: I started this because it seemed to me that Dylan never really understood, never 'got it' about Gaheris. Or at least least not how I did. I got caught up in writing my Telemachus/Beka stories and put this on the back burner waiting to be proof read until an e-mail from a reader prodded me to post it-thanks Sierra. I will write another short story later that ties up all my- and the TV series- loose ends after I figure out the series finale and how I will tweak it. I promise.

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Chapter 3

Dylan sat in the dark in his office. The sensors were programmed to dim the lights if there was a lack of moment and he had been still for a long time. He stared sightlessly at a framed picture of the Andromeda on the far wall. Slowly he focused. He absorbed the sleek lines of his ship rendered by a long dead artist. He remembered seeing her for the first time. He had still felt guilty over getting this commission as a result of his actions on Mobius. But here was no doubt of Gaheris' pride and excitement as they viewed her together on their approach. 'Magnificent' was the description he had used. Dylan remembered switching his attention between watching the Andromeda and his new First Officer's face. There had been no guile or subterfuge in his expression, just a happy openness Dylan had enjoyed seeing. Dylan knew now from reading the personal journal how Gaheris felt like he had to hoard moments of happiness because it could all be lost so easily. And that they were always bittersweet.

He tore his eyes from the picture that Gaheris had helped him hang and the image viewer caught his attention. It had an illuminator frame that lit and showed him the picture even in the half-light. Slowly, moving like an old man, Dylan tapped the button. The beach picture changed to one of the two of them with Gaheris' children. They were roughhousing on the floor and one of the wives had snapped it. They had insisted that Dylan visit for the afternoon on one of their early shore leaves together. He remembered feeling uncomfortable for the first few minutes until the three wonderful women had set him at ease. The relationship between the two men did not bother them because it would never threaten their family in any way. In fact, they confided that it relieved them to know Gaheris was not alone when he was separated from them and that Dylan would be watching their husband's back in dangerous situations. It was actually Gaheris with his kids that prompted Dyla to think of Sarah in a more serious manner.

Remembering Gaheris as a devoted father and now having brutal first hand experience with the Magog, Dylan understood how fear as well as duty would have prompted his friend's actions. The Commonwealth's policy of peace with those savage animals would have been intolerable to Gaheris as well as all the other Nietzscheans. Many times in conversation and private debates the two men had discussed the Magog, Nietzschean viewpoints and their perceived weakness of the Commonwealth that their race had been members of for centuries. Dylan had thought Gaheris had always taken the opposing viewpoint to be devil's advocate, not because his lover was trying to warn him. But Dylan had been so blinded by the fading glory of the Commonwealth he could never see beyond it.

He remembered explaining to Harper how the mutiny attempt had not been personal. He realized how most Nietzscheans felt that turning on the Commonwealth was the best way possible to keep their families safe. In their eyes the Commonwealth had already betrayed them as well as being weak and stupid, qualities Nietzscheans could not deal with. They felt their stand against the Magog threat was the right one, the only one. And now that Dylan had fought the Magog in such close quarters he agreed with them, too late though. Despite what he had said to Harper he had felt and considered Gaheris's actions personal. Now he understood better, it wasn't 'how could Gaheris betray him' but ' how could he not?' And he had not wanted to. Torn between duty and loyalty, his friend had spent most of their time together tormented by things that could not be changed or avoided. And Dylan had been blind, deaf and dumb...oh how dumb, to it all. Maybe that's why he had wallowed in his self-righteous sense of hurt and betrayal, so he would not have to look closer at himself and his own failings. Of how he had loved what he had wanted to see in Gaheris and not the whole man. Because he would have been too weak to deal with the reality of the situation that was growing in plain sight around them.

Tiredly he pushed away from the desk and stood. His muscles protested and he wondered how long he had been sitting in the dark. Dylan walked to the washroom telling Andromeda to leave the lights dimmed. When he splashed water on his face Dylan refused to look in the mirror. Avoiding the Command Deck he headed for Ops Deck instead. Again he instructed Andromeda to leave the lighting low as he stood looking out at the stars. She complied without addressing him, understanding his need to be alone. He tried to assimilate all he had just learned about a man he thought he had known so well. And the bitter insights he had realized about himself; his self-absorption, selfish obviousness and naive arrogance. Dylan closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool clear panel that separated him from the emptiness of space. He heard the door behind him open and footsteps approach. Glancing sideways he viewed the beautiful profile of Trance as she stood beside him and stared out into the vastness.

"The crew is worried," she commented quietly.

"I'm fine," he responded automatically.

"You missed your rotation on Command Deck."

He gave a noncommittal noise, not admitting that he had been unaware of the passing of time.

"We know that you received your former First Officer's things. Telemachus feels responsible for upsetting you."

Dylan sighed, "The only one responsible for that is myself and my failure to admit the truth."

"And what truth was that?"

"Too complex to explain when I am just starting to understand it myself."

Trance's gaze appeared ancient as she turned to face him. "Complexity is my specialty."

Dylan gave her a tired smile. "Complex? Yes, but so simple too. I miss him."

There was a long silence and he barely heard her whispered reply.

"Me too."

"Trance?"

Dylan's gaze sharpened as he watched his mysterious friend turn back to stare again at the stars.

She hesitated before continuing, "Gaheris was a good man, a fine friend and a Captain that earned my loyalty."

"Please." Dylan begged her.

He listened as she told him of a future where the Nietzschean had been quicker, more accurate and how that had unfolded. How it had mirrored his in many ways, most of which she remained vague about, and that it failed. That Gaheris had returned back in time to help fix things, burdened by his guilt and loneliness.

Dylan did not know when Trance left him and Andromeda's hologram took her place by his side. But she stood silent and he was grateful. Slowly Dylan shuffled to his rooms, stopping to retrieve the image viewer on his way to his empty bed. He set it on the side table before stripping off his uniform and climbing under the covers. Reaching out he pressed the button again. Rhade's wives sat on a couch smiling into the hover cam as the children played at their feet, Gaheris and himself standing behind them. Gaheris' arm around his shoulder the other resting on the curve of his first wife's neck, and everyone looking so damn happy. Dylan began to sob silently as he slipped into a numbed sleep.


A part of Dylan knew he was dreaming but the rest of him clung to the memory he was reliving in his sleep. He had woken in the middle of the night after enduring an endless diplomatic dinner and party that Andromeda had hosted. Gaheris had left a few hours into the party for his shift on Command Deck and now was slipping into bed with him. Dylan felt the smooth hard body of his lover spoon around his. A muscled arm slid around his waist and a palm flattened possessively over his chest. Dylan smiled in the darkness as the Nietzschean nuzzled his nape and hair.

Gaheris softly growled,"I know you're awake, stop faking."

"Gaheris, I never 'fake it' with you," Dylan protested with laughter in his voice.

A sharp nip on his neck was Gaheris' response to his teasing. Dylan's fingers moved to feather lightly around the bare bone blade bases of the arm encircling him. A deeper growl and a growing erection pressing into his buttocks was the reaction he earned from his caressing fingertips.

"Don't you want to know what you missed at the party." Warmth breath on his neck as his lover sighed.

"I suppose so," Gaheris groused.

"Once you left, Constanoble started flirting with me."

Dylan felt the arm around him tense and the blades flared under his fingers at the mention of the other Nietzschean Alpha. Constanoble was the Alpha of Jaguar Pride and a stunning specimen of genetic perfection. Taller than himself with tanned skin and a tawny mane of hair the other man had shown a marked interest in both of them. He had even talked to Gaheris alone for a length of time, something that stirred Dylan's own possessive streak. When questioned, his lover said they had talked of duty and their families. Dylan had not believed the subject matter had been so tame, not with the glitter in Constanoble's eyes. When they talked later the Alpha had inquired about their personal relationship. For once, throwing discretion to the wind, Dylan had been swift to stake his claim. Constanoble had seemed amazed when he realized Dylan was the more dominant partner and his gaze had appeared more interested and began to follow Gaheris around the room. Only refocusing back to Dylan when he had hinted that he would like to change that. They played an interesting game of 'cat and mouse' with Constanoble as the cat and Dylan pretending to consider being the mouse. The other man was certainly...

A dangerous growl grew in the dark.

"You're beginning to smell aroused and it's because you are thinking of him." Was the angry accusation.

Dylan blinked in the darkness, he knew better than to lie. Evasion was a better tactic and one he might use to his advantage.

"Not Constanoble personally- just some things he hinted at." Dylan quickly defended.

"That Alpha's all dominant, so what was he suggesting that interested you so much?"

"Something I want to try that you're not willing to consider." Was Dylan's soft rebuttal.

An unsettling stillness radiated from his lover's body and Dylan could not prevent himself from tensing. Still, he was unprepared when in a fury of swift motion, Gaheris pinned him on his back and loomed over him in the darkness.

"Andromeda, low lights please," was the rumbling request from Gaheris.

When Dylan saw his lover's face he realized taunting the tiger was going to have serious repercussions tonite. He shivered in hopeful delight. Gaheris' face was taunt and his eyes burned with unbanked fiery desire. The slighter body held him down easily, muscles flexing under the smooth skin.

"If you are even thinking about.."

Dylan interrupted,"Hell, yes! I'm thinking about it all the time- just not with someone other than you."

With a deep growl Rhade swooped his head to capture Dylan's mouth with his own. As their tongues tangled and dueled Dylan shifted his body under his lover's. Moving them slightly so Rhade was cradled between his thighs. His own erection was trapped between their straining bodies but Gaheris' cock was pressed down flush against his balls and brushing along his anus and the crease of his ass. Exactly where Dylan wanted him but where Rhade had only explored with his long strong fingers. One of his hands buried in the short thick hair of his lover and held Gaheris' lips against his own. The other stretched down his side and under his thigh as Dylan lifted his legs to coil around Rhade's slim hips. The reach that served him so well in basketball aided him now. Grasping Gaheris' cock in a firm grip Dylan guided it to his opening and gently forced the blunt head inside. Even though he had prepared himself with various toys the girth of Gaheris' cock stretched him almost to the point of pain. But it was a wonderful, sought after pain and Dylan tightened his thighs to draw Gaheris deeper. Gaheris' growl echoed in his mouth before his lover wrenched his head away. Dylan heard harsh breathing in his ear and his lover's caution, "Slow down."

"We are not stopping." Dylan's voice was the firm tone he usually used only as the Captain.

"We won't, but let my pre-cum do its job."

Dylan paused with the crown of Rhade's cock inside him and felt the slick fluid trickle to lubricate him for his lover's penetration. He felt Gaheris draw his head back and brace himself on his hands so they could look face to face. Gaheris' gaze burning into his, Dylan shuddered as his lover started to slowly surge forward. He only sank a few inches before drawing back, waiting a moment before returning a little deeper this time. Dylan's hand had slipped to cup the nape of Rhade's neck the other slid lower to caress the taunt skin covering his lover's balls. A soft but savage snarl was the response to his exploring fingers.

"Dylan, move that hand and use it to hang on or I swear next time I will tie you down," was the warning he received.

He paused to consider this new threat, it really sounded quite enticing. As Rhade's hips pulled back he was out of touching range for that particular caress and Dylan sighed in disappointment. He slid both hands between their bodies to play with Rhade's nipples as the other man carefully stroked in deeper. As Gaheris was withdrawing Dylan pinched his nipples and bucked upwards. He was impatient and tired of the slow measured pace of his lover and wanted to be filled by him.

"Gaheris fuck me or I'll find someone who will." The moment the words were said he regretted them. "I didn't mean that!"

The Nietzschean had been withdrawing and ready to push back in when he heard the threat. Gaheris stilled and his lips curled in a silent snarl.

"Shit, I'm sorry!" Apologized Dylan.

"No, but you will be... tomorrow morning."

With a powerful surge Dylan felt Gaheris bury his cock balls deep in his body. Before he could truly adjust to the overwhelming feeling of fullness his lover started a steady strong rhythm of strokes. With each slamming thrust Gaheris' hips ground into Dylan's and rubbed a spot deep inside him that made him writhe with sensation. Arching his back Dylan tightened his thighs around his lover's pistoning hips. Dylan knew the growling was from Gaheris so that meant the tiny breathless noises were his. The air around them was filled with their sounds of passion and the wet slapping of their muscled, sweat dampened bodies. Dylan's hands had moved to grip his lover's shoulders and he hung on as Gaheris rode him with fierce intensity. He was filled with Gaheris' hard territorial thrusts and his lover's face was taunt above his. His own cock was trapped between their bodies, slipping in their sweat and rubbing with wonderful friction along Gaheris' rippling muscles. Gasping as Gaheris lowered his body, heavy and demanding and braced himself on one elbow. Dylan felt the graze of bone blades along his stomach and a firm grip encircled his own cock. Short strong pulls on his cock echoed the savage strokes deep inside him. Dylan's body was stretched to accommodate his lover and almost seemed overfilled as he was overwhelmed by the rioting sensations coursing through his body. His head was thrown back and Gaheris sharp teeth nipped his neck. Dylan didn't even care it was above his uniform collar. A violent rippling spasm racked his body that he felt from his hair down to the soles of his feet. Shudders swept through him as he came all over their bellys in thick creamy spurts.

Gaheris grip was unrelenting as he continued to stroke and milked Dylan for every mili-ounce. Dylan dazed mind slowly returned to the wonderful reality of Rhade still pounding into his limp relaxed body. If possible Gaheris was sinking deeper and continued to rub over his sweet spot deliciously and triggered more tiny tremors. His lover's cum covered hand moved to grip his hip and the long strokes changed to short savage digs. Dylan's arms circled Gaheris' back as the other man labored over and in him. With a roar Rhade emptied himself and Dylan felt warm wetness splash deep within his body. The Nietzschean collapsed on his chest and Dylan squeezed his ass muscles to wring another heated jet of cum and a guttural groan from his lover. He easily supported the weight of the slighter man and cradled him close. He relaxed his legs, sliding them down to the twisted sheet and ran his hands up and down Gaheris' perspiration damp back and ass.

"You're mine...for as long as the universe lets me," was the harsh whisper he heard in his ear. Dylan had mummered something soothing back to his possessive lover. Little knowing how short that time would be.


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'Time..it could be so tricky,' thought Trance. 'Sometimes time could unfold unexpectedly, even when she had considered every angle- another could develop.'

She frowned as she puttered around the nursery room off the main Hydroponics Garden room after leaving Dylan on the Ops Deck. In the other future Gaheris had helped her set it up and they had spent many hours together. Gardening was Gaheris secret passion and he liked to spend most of his free time there. He had said it was nice to nurture life after his actions had ripped so much apart. He had explained, when she asked about the strange hoop in the main room, of Dylan's love for basketball and them putting it there so he could watch his Captain play as he planted. Going back in time and asking Gaheris to sacrifice himself had been so difficult for her. But she had know when her Captain had shot Tyr that things would not unfold right- for the Kodiak was necessary for the best possible future. Her mind tangled as she remembered arranging everything involving Anasaszi and she was still unsure if the results would fall into place correctly.

She sighed. Was it so selfish that she had done that one little teensy thing involving Gaheris? She had waited outside the Command Deck as they fought knowing with a heavy heart the outcome. Following Dylan as he carried the Nietzschean's body to Med-bay. She had hidden the body of the younger Rhade close by. With Andromeda's internal sensors down it would be easy to switch the bodies and take her Captain away. To someplace safe and warm in the coldness of space- like a nice sun. Somehow she knew she would have to leave that puzzling scar for Dylan to spy years later and change their clothing back. But as she set things in motion to follow a new Captain she could not abandon her old one. She remembered being prepared to tesseract them away when she felt that faint spark. So unexpected.

Trance chewed on a strand of hair as she stared at the long counter her baby plants rested on. No one, not even her younger self, has suspected it held a self-contained regeneration bed. Very soon, now that she felt Dylan was becoming ready for the truth, she would reveal her small secret to him. She just had to wait for the right time. Trance shrugged as she tossed her dreads over her shoulder, she would know- after all its not like she was going to forget and miss the perfect opportunity to further the best possible future.

The End (for now)

< myladymystere >

P.S. opps when Trance became a younger version of herself in the pilot of Season 5, she did forget. Hmm...I wonder how and when her little secret is going to be discovered. --later--