Killing Me Softly

Killing Me Softly

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long I have been very busy building my own Website (http://jazzmynangel.tripod,com/) and working on a blog.....but here is a very long, very important chpt I hope to have the next one up very soon.


Chapter Two ~ The Weakness in Me

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(August 2011, The Kane Estate)

The air around the courtyard sizzled with tension. Everyone had stopped their own converstations to center their attentions on the one going on in the corner. Keith's blood pressure shot up and he tried hard not to squeeze the life out of the crystal wine glass he was holding. He had warned her, he had told her that coming home was a mistake, but she hadn't listened, and to be honest he had wanted to see her so badly. He turned his eyes from the blonde trio and did a quick scan of the courtyard and forced himself to bite his tounge, everyone was staring at his girls and it was pissing him off. He could just see the rumor mill being set into motion. He looked to the understanding eyes of his wife and handed her his glass, kissing her on her check and then he walked away from , to his daughter and grandaughter, his stance proud and strong.

Veronica blinked, her stare with Logan broken as she felt her father come up behind her, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. She turned her head slightly, acknowledging her father and nodding when he reached for the girl in her arms, willingly handing over the child to her father. Keith smiled at his grandaughter and kissed her softly on her forehead, dismissing her questioning stare. He nodded at Logan, understanding the pain and confusion that was shining in the other man's eyes, then he walked towards the house, slipping into the sliding glass door, away from the prying eyes.

Logan stared after the pair for what seemed to the onlookers like hours. Then he blinked, his eyes slightly wet and then focused his gaze onto the tiny blonde infront of him. Veronica stood there, her stance no longer proud, but humbled, her eyes to to ground, her hair falling into her face. Logan kept his gaze trained on her until she couldn't stand it any longer. She looked up at him, avoiding his eyes for as long as she could. When she finally did her heart broke. The pain, anger and grieve were so strong in his eyes that she couldn't even look at him. She turned her face from his, looking at the pool that hadn't been used in almost a decade now.

Logan took one last look at Veronica, his stomach rolled with disgust and he closed his eyes as he turned to walk away. Whispers spread like wildfire throughout the courtyard and Veronica's face flamed with shame, her entire body breaking out in a cold sweat. She shivered when she felt someone come up to her from behind. She stiffened when Duncan laid a hand on her shoulder. She stared after Logan as he whispered into her ear. She looked back at him and then took off running after Logan. Duncan's soft words filling her ears as the wind whipped at her face, making the tears finally fall.

"Don't lose him again. Not like I lost you Veronica."

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Logan's heart raced as he climbed into his SUV, not the same yellow one he had loved in highschool, but a newer model one, this one was painted a bright neon green. He slid into the vehicle, his chest feeling as though it would burst, slamming the door he quickly turned the key that had been left in the ignition and looked into the rearview mirror to see if it was safe to back up. Just as he was about to shift into reverse he heard a soft voice beside him, coming from the crack in the window.

"Do you think it's a good idea for you to drive, Logan?"

Logan's eyes shut in pain, his knuckles turnig white as he gripped the sterring wheel tighter. He didn't have to look out of his window to know it was her. He swallowed the bile that was rising in his throat and laughed sadistically. "Hmm...Lets' see, Ronnie, do you think it wasa good idea for you to tell me about my four year old daughter in the middle of the Kane's annual 'social event of the season'pool party?"

Veronica closed her eyes, expecting the blow. She sighed and looked at the man she had loved more than life itself. "Logan, I know it was in bad taste, but....." She cut herself off, not knowing what to say, not having a real excuse for her actions. Other than she was just tired of running, tired of the lying.

Logan laughed again, this one sharper and more false than the last. "Oh please Veronica Mars, please tell me, explain to me how I deserved this. Enlighten me with you holier than thou bullshit, about how I wasn't worth your time. Tell me why I wasn't decent enough for you to let me know I had a child. That we had a child. Veronica we have a child, a daughter. That beautiful little girl is ours. We did that. And you didn't even fucking tell me." Logan's eyes burned with the flood of tears that was threating to break. He slammed his SUV into reverse and started to back out of the drive way when she put her hand on the open window.

"Logan, don't. You can't just run away from this." Veronica's wide eyes stared at him, begging him to understand. Logan looked at her, disgust edvident n his face. He smiled coldly and then said "No, baby, that's your job." With that he slammed on the gas and sped from the driveway, roaring onto the quiet streets of Neptune, heavy metal blasting throught the open windows.

Veronica stared at after him for what could've been hours before her father came to get her. His eyes hard, but understanding. She looked at him her smile broken and empty. "Dad...what...what am I going to do?" Veronica asked him, her voice coated with grief.

He wrapped a arm arund her, ignoring the tears than were suddenly soaking his shirt and smiled sadly. "Oh, baby..." he said into her hair. "It'll be okay, you'll fix this. You'll fix everything. But not tonight. Tonight we're going home. You have a lot of explaining to your little girl.

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(4:00am Mars Apartment)

Keith's eyes burned with sleep but he knew it was useless to go back to bed. He couldn't sleep peacfully knowing that both his little girls were hurting. Everything had been ging so well. Veronica had done good for herself after leaving Neptune all those years ago. She had carried her secret to term, even while managing a full course load at NYU, a part time job at a small P.I firm. She hadn't tken long to to decide tat she wanted her and Logan's baby more than anything else inthe world, so with some money her father had saved up she moved into a small two bedroom aprtment in New York and finished college, with a degree in photo journalism. She was quickly picked up by a small independant paper in Manhattan and loved every minute of it. Her and Ameila had been doing great. The child was very well adjusted and happy, had lots of friends at her pre-school and loved mystery shows, just like her Mommy. Keith hadn't gotten to see either of them as much as he would've liked, but had made it a priority to get to New York at least once every few months.

Veronica said she was very happy being a single hard working mother, but lately Keith had noticed that his daughter wouls get those far off gazes, and her telephone converstations often contained long, distant pauses. He knew she was lonely, that she longed for a real, adult relationship. He knew she wanted love.

He had tried to keep his nose out of it but when she had asked about two months ago if everyone in town was okay, if he had heard about...'anyone', in a while, he knew something was going on. He knew she was starting to miss Logan. She had said she was starting to see him in Mia more than ever. Veronica said that she had his nose, and lips. He voice always got so distant when she talked about things like that.

He had even gotten a call from Duncan last week, he was worried about Veronica. During her weekly call to him she had broke down in tears. She was becoming a mess. She had even broken down and flat out asked how Logan was....what he was up to. That had been the whole reason Duncan had invited her to the party. He had stopped inviting her to Neptune function years ago, but he knew the time was right, it was time to clean out the spiderwebs and come to terms with the past.

Keith had called Veronica back right after he talked to Duncan and begged her not to come home. He had known it would turn ugly. He wanted his daughter to be happy more than anything, and yes, he did want Logan to know his daughter, but not like this. But Veronica had been as head headed as ever and had told him she already had bought her and Mia's ticket. She also told him she would be home in a few days, then she told him that she loved him and bid him goodbye.

When she got home she had calmed his nerves somewhat when she told him she had a plan on how to break the news to Logan. She wouldn't tell him the plan, but she was sure she had one, a good one. She told him she was just tired of lying to Mia everytime she asked about her Daddy. She smiled and old him that Duncan had been right. It was time to great rid of some spiderwebs.

Keith shook the memory from his mind and slid off the barstool, tired of watching the clock on the microwave and set his coffee cup in the sink. He made his way down the hall to his bedroom. first checking on a happily sleeping Mia and then walking a bit further to Veronica's old bedroom. He poked his hed in, not really all that shocked to see her gone, a lone seashell laying on her pillow. He shook his head, and made his way to his room and crawled into bed with his wife, his mind at ease knowing both his girls would be okay.

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(4:30 am Logan's Hotel Room)

Logan stared at the ceiling of his hotel room, his eyes far off. He had been laying there for hours now, still in the clothes he had had on for the party. Memories just kept running through his mind. Veronica's smile, her laugh, the feel of her lips on his, the way her eyes glittered when he told her he loved her. Then his stomach curled when flashes of the last few weeks of their relationship surrounded his mind. The way she avoided his eyes when he asked if she was feeling okay, the way she kept canceling dates, the sound of her voice, so broken, the last time he talked to her. He closed his eyes in pain, breathing in the sweet smell of the salt air that was driting into his room from the open balcony door.

Then he good flashed started in his mind again, the stolen moments they had shared on the beach, all the times they had went walking on the pier, the summer crowds surrounding them. The way the moon reflected in her eyes. Those eyes, so much like their daughters'. He gasped suddenly, his throat closing. He sat up quickly, the room spinning around him.

Their Daughter.

They had a daughter....him and Veronica had created a life together.

He was a father.

Suddenly the room began to close in on him. He needed to get out of there. He needed air. He quickly looked out the balcony door and felt safe again. He grabbed his keys off the dresser on his way out the door and locked up behind him, then he walked barefooted across the parking lot of the motel and made his way to the beach, smiling slightly at the way the moon light bounced of the calm water.

He beathed in the air as he walked slowly along th beach, feeling the sand between his bare toes. He ingored the way the current kept sweeping at the edges of his slacks, making them cling to his bare ankles.

He looked away from the starry sky gazing along the shore. His heart nearly stopped when he saw that he wasn't alone. About fifty yards in front of him he saw her. The blonde girl that had occupied his thoughts daily for the past ten years. She hadn't spotted him, he could still walk away and she would never know he was there.

He could.....but yet there he was still walking towards her, entranced by the way her hair blew in the breeze. He took his time in getting to her, for some reason not wanting to startle her. He was about ten feet from her, his feet making squishing noises in the wet samd when she spoke.

"I didn't think you'd come. I thought you would leave once you saw me." She said softly to the water, her voice far away.

Logan seemed stunned by the sound of her voice. He quickly corrected himself and went to sit beside her, a safe distance of about 4 feet. He looked into the water, noticing all the sea shells that were being swept away with the current. "I didn't think you knew I was here." He told the seashells quietly. He was taken by suprise when she laughed quietly.

He looked at her, he was seduced by her hauting eyes. She smiled slightly. "I always know when your around, Logan. You're ever bit a part of me as Mia. I can always feel when you're close to me." With that said Veronica turned back to the water, her eyes distant.

Logan stared at her for a while. She took no notice of his gaze. Finally the question that had been burning on his tounge for almost five years came forth.

"Why?"

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~TBC~