Discovery of the Spirit

Title: Discovery of the Spirit

Chapter: 3/?

Author: Wesleys_Lady

E-mail: Brutal_Howell@hotmail.com

Rating: PG13 (Language and other stuff)

Category: Romance/Angst/Drama/General

Pairing: Archer/Original Character

Summary: See Ch. 1

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1 or 2

Archive: Yes, just ask first.

Feedback: Yes! Yes! Yes! Don’t matter what kind. To quote Sam Beckett, "Just give me what I want, baby!"









Discovery of the Spirit

Chapter 3



By



Wesleys_Lady





Trip was in for a sleepless night. His two closest friends had some fairly big issues to resolve between them. He wasn’t sure if pushing Kathleen to confront this so soon was a good idea. But it was here now – and it would either bring them together, or tear them apart. Trip wasn’t willing to sacrifice his friendship with either one. And that put him right in the middle – no matter what happens. He sighed when his door chimed. He opened it to find Archer and Porthos waiting for him.



"And so it begins," he mumbled.



"Excuse me?"



"Nuthin’. Come on in, Jon," he cleaned off a chair for Archer to use. "How was dinner?"



"Great…right up until she got called away. Something about the injection manifold for the starboard nacelle," Trip was surprised at the level of disappointment in his friend’s voice. Apparently, dinner went better than he thought. "Actually, it was better than great." Archer was somewhat embarrassed about that little revelation.



"Really?" Archer nodded.



"I can’t understand it. I spent the last two and a half hours going over correspondence between Kathleen and dad – and you," he paused. Trip could see that the question he was about to ask was a tough one. "I really was a jackass where she was concerned, wasn’t I?"



"Yeah, ya were. But you grew up…so did she." He made sure he has the Captain’s undivided attention. "Jon, if you’re askin me why Katie doesn’t hold a grudge…it ain’t her style. Hell, as far as I know, she doesn’t even hate the Vulcans." Trip got up to pour them both a drink. A thought suddenly occurred to him. "Is that why you never went to see her after she came out of her coma? You thought she’d hate you?" Archer didn’t answer him; he just looked at the floor. Trip chuckled, "I swear, you and Katie are a lot alike." That got his attention.



"How so?" he wanted to know as much about her as he could.



"Well, your drive to be the best…for one. You’ve worked for a main goal in the last twelve years – to be Captain of this ship. That in itself makes you the best. The fact that your dad had the biggest hand in her design and development – that’s just another point of pride with you. And you have never let anything distract you from that goal…least of all, women." Trip smirked, ‘Until now, that is.’ In the twelve years he had known Kathleen, she had gotten under more than a few men’s skins. "Katie got her first doctorate by the time she was thirteen. She’s just as good an engineer as I am – maybe even better than me. Ever since she came out of that coma, she pushes herself physically – harder than anyone I know. She’s got black belts in six or seven different styles of Martial Arts. Spars with Malcolm almost every day. I’ve seen her put him on his ass more than a few times. So, if you go swimmin’ in THAT pool, make sure you’re invited," he teased his friend. The blush that colored Archer’s cheeks told Trip all he needed to know. "You’ve already tested the waters, haven’t you?"



"We kissed," Archer admitted. The Captain wasn’t sporting a black eye, or missing any teeth. Trip made a mental note to go talk to Kathleen when Archer left.



"And?"



"And it felt like I was struck by lightning. It’s probably a good thing she had to leave. I’m not sure I could have stopped," he confessed. Trip was shocked. In all the years he had known Jonathan Archer, a woman had never gotten to him like Kathleen apparently had.



"Whoa, down boy. Looks like Malcolm ain’t the only one she knocked for a loop," he got suddenly serious. "Can I ask you somethin’ though?"



"Sure."



"You have had women throwin themselves at you for years – some even more beautiful than Katie. And you never gave them a second look. So why Katie? And why now?" Archer considered his words carefully before he responded.



"As you said, I have what I want. I’m here, exploring the stars. I’m commanding the best crew in Starfleet on the best ship Earth has to offer. And now that I have ‘everything,’ I realize what I’m missing. I’m 40 years old, never been married, my parents are dead, and you’re the closest thing to a brother I have. You’re probably the only person who cares what happens to me," he continued before Trip could interrupt, "I know Starfleet and the crew care what happens to CAPTAIN Archer. I’m talking about me, just Jon."



"Are you tellin’ me you’re ready to settle down?" Trip asked with a wry smile.



"I’m saying that I’m open to the possibility," he corrected. "As for why Kathleen…" Archer swallowed the lump in his throat. "I admit, I’m attracted to her," he began.



"You and about a hundred other guys," Trip snorted.



"BUT, that’s not it. And let me finish before I lose my nerve. I look into her eyes, and I see how intense she is. How full of life and compassion she is. I felt more alive in the forty minutes I spent with her – than I have in a long time. She should hate me for the way I treated her back in San Francisco, but you tell me she doesn’t. Rather than apply for a position on Enterprise that is rightly hers, as the hero she is, she circumvents me entirely – cuts out a significant part of her file – to preserve MY reputation. Trip, honestly, I don’t know what it is I’m feeling…I just know that I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. Every fiber in my being is telling me to get to know this woman. I’m not sure what will become of us – if there even is an ‘us.’ But I sure as hell want to find out," he held his breath.



"Are you done?" As far as Trip was concerned, Archer couldn’t have surprised him more if he’d slapped him in the face.



"Yeah," he had never heard hid friend sound so lost. Trip considered his options. No matter what happened, he would be stuck in the middle. But maybe, just maybe, if he helped get them together…



"I can’t believe I’m doin’ this. I’m countin’ on you to make this work. Cause when Katie finds out I’m helpin’ you, she’s gonna want my head on a silver platter. I’m gonna need you to diffuse that famous Irish temper of hers." ‘I gotta be out of my cotton pickin mind,’ he thought. "She ain’t gonna make it easy for you."



"I don’t care," that much he was sure of.



"You should. Starfleet doesn’t exactly condone Captain’s having relationships with officers under their command. You probably would never see another promotion," he knew this could possibly be an obstacle for them later. Archer shook his head adamantly.



"I never wanted to be an Admiral anyways. This is where I belong – out here. Not behind a desk. But it’s not only my career we’re talking about," he sighed.



"Katie doesn’t give a damn about her own career. She’d tell Forrest to take a long walk off a short pier, if it meant protecting you. Because of that, she’s gonna be hesitant to let you get close," he was surprised to see Archer getting irritated.



"What is it with you two, that you feel you have to look after me? Do I really seem that helpless?" he had made it forty years without a baby-sitter – he sure as hell didn’t need one now.



"Jon, don’t misunderstand. First of all, you’re my best friend. I’m gonna look out for you – whether you want me to or not," he noticed his friend making an active effort to calm himself, "you jerk," he added with a smile. Archer chuckled. "As for Katie…you gotta understand where she’s comin from."



"Why don’t you enlighten me," it wasn’t a question. Trip was real uncomfortable with this. But given Archer’s earlier confession, he was interested in where this could lead. And if he had to maneuver a few pieces to get the game started, so be it.



"Do you know anything about Katie’s family?" He didn’t. "Both parents were diplomats. They were s’posed to be among the first group goin to the Klingon homeworld. They were on the Curie when it blew up."



"Kathleen would have been…" Archer did the quick math in his head. "less than a year old." Trip nodded.



"Her and a whole slew of brothers got shipped to anyone who was willin to raise them. The kid never caught a break in her life. Your dad was the one that figured out her gift for Engineering. So how do you think she felt when he bucked Starfleet to take her under his wing – fought to get her a shot to work on these engines?" he was steering his friend in the right direction.



"Dad filled a big hole in her life," his dad always had a soft spot for the underdogs. "I feel like an even bigger asshole, now."



"She adored your dad, and was fiercely devoted to him. The fact that you were never willing to meet her was a pretty sore spot with him." Archer hung his head, "Katie always hated the strain her presence caused between you two. No matter what your dad meant to her, you were still his son. She tried to leave – go back to Ireland. Did you know that?" He didn’t look up; he just sat there shaking his head. "Three days before the ‘Vulcan Incident,’ he talked her into stayin’. Not exactly a mystery as to why she tangled with our pointy-eared friends, now is it?"



"God, I was such an idiot!" he still couldn’t understand why she didn’t hate him.



"You came through for her when it mattered. Your dad knew that – Katie did too. She doesn’t blame you…quite the opposite. And personally, I don’t think your feelings are the only ones in play here," Trip was almost sure of it. "She’s got some heavy defenses, just don’t give up. You’ll break through."



"Are you sure about this?" He wasn’t sure. Trip had come to love the beautiful engineer long ago. And he knew she loved him – like she loved her brothers. As long as he has known her though, her feelings for Jonathan Archer were always different. Things just weren’t meant to be for him. So he would do his damndest to see that Katie and Jon were happy. He smiled at his friend.



"I’m not gonna tell you her deepest, darkest secrets…you are gonna have to find those out for yourself," he teased. "But I will help you with the little details – like breakfast t’morrow."



"What about it?" he had noticed Trip’s far away look. Almost like something that got away from him. Was it Kathleen? Was he – as Trip called it – ‘swimming in another man’s pool?’



"She likes lilies. I happened to know that Ensign Skinner grows them. Get a couple for the table. And, if you can get chef to swing it, Blueberry Waffles. She loves blueberries and strawberries. Waffles, Pancakes, Jelly…keep in mind. It’s gonna be the little details that impress her." Archer knew Chef was going to be angry with him. But he was going to place the order for all of it. Oh well, there has to be some perks to being Captain. He wanted to broach his concern with Trip, make sure the field was clear. The direct approach always worked between them…



"Trip, you and Kathleen aren’t…" he never got a chance to finish the thought.



"No!" He piped up a little too loudly. "Katie and I are just friends…good friends. She thinks of me as another one of her brothers. And I won’t risk what we have now to try for something that ain’t there." Trip did love her, and for the first time today, Archer was unsure of how to proceed. Tucker noticed his hesitation. "Jon, I have known Katie over twelve years. At one time, I would have liked to see if we could have made it as a couple. But I have only seen her look at one man, the way I always wanted her to look at me. You’re gonna get to work with her in a professional capacity for a while. Compare that with the way she looks at you when you’re alone with her. You’ll see what I mean." He clasped his hand on the Captain’s shoulder, "You and Katie are my closest friends. I want you to be happy – with each other, if possible." He gave a wry smile, "That way I don’t lose either one of you." There was no way Archer could realize the sacrifice he was making.



"Thanks, Trip…for everything." The Captain was nervous. From what Trip was saying, the only thing that could screw up his chances with Kathleen was Archer himself.

"Do you really think I have a chance of making this work?"



"You better, Katie is a very dangerous woman when she’s pissed." He was half kidding. There was one message he wanted to convey with all seriousness. "Jon, if you hurt her, I’ll kick your butt from here back to San Francisco."



"Message understood, Commander," he replied.



"You better go let Chef know about the menu tomorrow morning. I know from experience, the man is hell on wheels if you interrupt his beauty sleep." He walked Archer to the door. Trip was putting on a good show of Malcolm’s ‘British Stiff Upper Lip.’ "Oh, and Jon, Ensign Skinner gets up around 0600. Gives you plenty of time to get the flowers."



"Thanks, Trip. I’ll never forget this." Tucker grinned at him.



"You better not. I want big birthday presents, from both of you," Archer just laughed.



"You got it." Trip clenched his fists as Jon and Porthos left. He was right; this was going to be a sleepless night. He set his alarm to be up at 0600. He wanted to be in the Mess Hall to run interference for the "happy couple."









MESS HALL



Things were going well this morning. Ensign Skinner had given him two lilies this morning – with a promise of a fresh one every two weeks. Even Chef had been happy to help. The moody little man had supplied them with blueberry pancakes, along with strawberry topping for the waffles. Archer walked out of his dining room to see Kathleen getting coffee from the dispenser. ‘Poor thing, she looks exhausted.’ He gave her a smile when she turned and saw him.



"We’re you up all night fixing the injector manifold?" he hoped not.



"No," she shook her head, "the problem wasn’t in the manifold, it was in the Warp Coils. I sent Johnson to bed about midnight, and I finished around 2am." She handed him the data padd. "My report, Captain."



He motioned toward his dining room. "Shall we?" Kathleen was a little surprised. She didn’t know why she had thought they were eating out here with the rest of the crew. Archer was clearly waiting for her to lead the way.



"So, what’s for breakfast?" she didn’t really care. The best part of this morning was going to be spending time with Jonathan Archer. Jon, for his part, was just grinning like The Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.



"It’s a surprise. But you won’t find out until we go in there." He was quite proud of himself. He only hoped Trip was right, that it was the little things she cherished. When the doors opened, Kathleen couldn’t hold her gasp. The table was covered with an emerald-green tablecloth – almost the identical color of the dress she wore last night. The places were set…and framing her plate were two beautiful lilies. Archer closed the door while she was looking under the plate covers. She could feel the tears welling up behind her eyes. ‘He did all this for me?’ she wondered.



"Oh, Jon!" she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him. "I can’t believe you did all this!" Jonathan was rooted to the spot. This was better than he had hoped. ‘What was it Trip had said? Big Birthday Presents?’ He just stood there and held her.



"I’m glad you like it. I told you, I have a lot to make up for," standing this close to her; he felt all the blood in his body start to head south. He reluctantly stepped back. She wished he would stop saying that.



"You don’t owe me anything, Jon," she accentuated her statement by gently placing her hand on his chest. She felt his heart beating under it. "This is wonderful," Archer wasn’t sure if she meant the breakfast, or the touching. And when he laid his hand over hers, she wasn’t sure either. "Where on Earth did you find the lilies?" she walked over and picked up one of the delicate flowers.



"I have my sources. I’m glad you like them." He held her chair out for her while she sat down. "I have two more surprises," he turned to the entrance from the kitchen. "All right, Ensign…" he called out. He took the first two plates from the ensign and brought them to the table. The ensign brought in a third plate and a bowl.



"Will that be all, sir?" the ensign asked.



"Yes, Cooper. Thank you." He waited for the ensign to leave before removing the covers from the plates. Kathleen’s eyes went wide – before her sat several of her favorite foods. Blueberry Pancakes, Waffles with Strawberry Sauce, and Fresh Strawberries! She had died and gone to heaven.



"How did you know?" she asked with the awe of a child. Her happiness seemed to be contagious. The memories from the past threatened to overwhelm her. She wished she could’ve made peace with Jonathan while Henry was still alive. ‘I’m here now, Henry.’ She was speaking to the ghost of her mind. ‘You would have been proud of the man he has become.’ She was so engrossed in her own thoughts, that she didn’t hear Archer speaking to her.



"Kathleen?" He had been worried when she zoned out on him, "Penny for your thoughts?" She smiled at him.



"I was just thinking how proud of you Henry would be." He gave her a puzzled look.



"For arranging breakfast for a beautiful woman? Hardly." She was horrible at explaining herself. ‘Have to work on that,’ she thought.



"Not the breakfast. The thoughtfulness. Your dad would be proud of the man you are now. You’re a good man, Jon – and a better Captain," Archer blushed at her compliments. He hoped she was right.



"I’ve made more than my fair share of mistakes," he mumbled. She grabbed his hand.



"We all have. But isn’t that why we’re out here? To learn? To explore?" Jon looked into her eyes and was speechless. She seemed to be talking directly to his heart. ‘I could love this woman, if she’ll let me,’ his soul whispered to him. He still felt the guilt of the past nagging at his sub-conscious; then he heard his father’s voice in his head:



If you can’t let go of the past, how can you hope to salvage the future?



The Mission of this ship and the presence of this woman in his life was his future. He had to keep reminding himself of that everyday – until the guilt went away. He had missed opportunities in the past…he refused to miss anymore. Still holding her hand, he leaned over and kissed her. He pulled her gently into his lap without breaking the kiss. Kathleen’s desire shot through the roof when his tongue dueled with her own. Jon’s desire was making its presence felt under her left thigh. Higher brain function returned to her first, and she broke the kiss. She placed her forehead down on his shoulder. "This is not good…not good at all," she mumbled down into his chest.



"I don’t know, it feels pretty good to me," every nerve in his body felt like it was on fire. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. Kathleen groaned at the loss of sensation when she stood up.



"Jon, you’re my Captain. I shouldn’t be getting involved with you." She was using that as a shield to hide behind instead of facing her real fears. Kathleen Kane had never been with a man before. And she was also terrified that should she let it progress that far. This man – the only man she had ever wanted – would be disgusted by the scars that riddled her body. He wasn’t about to let her get away. Trip said he would have to fight through her defenses…and fight he would. He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned back into his chest. In Jon’s arms, she felt safe. No one had ever made her feel like this before.



"Kathleen, I’m not proposing," ‘not yet, at least,’ he thought. "I’m just as confused about this as you are. Something about you calls to me. I want to learn everything I can about you…not what’s in your file. I want to know you here," he placed one hand over her heart. "And you know something? Nothing out there," he pointed out to the stars, "scares me as much as the chance that you might shut me out." She turned in his embrace.



"Do you mean that?" she asked. He trailed a finger down her jaw.



"More than anything," Kathleen took an unsteady breath. If he was confronting his fears, she at least should do the same.



"I can’t promise you anything…" his shoulders slumped in defeat, "except to take it one day at a time," she finished. "I only have one demand," Archer was too excited. He agreed before he even knew what it was. "Good or bad, we both speak our minds. Without fear of repercussion from the other." It was agreed. "Why don’t we get some food into us before we head to the Bridge?" They sat back in their chairs and began eating.



"Jon?" she remembered something she wanted to ask him.



"Hmmmm?"



"We have this friendly wager going on between some of the crew…Engineering vs. Security/Command. I’m fighting Malcolm tonight. You think you can make it?" he chuckled when he remembered Trip’s statement that she had ‘Put Malcolm on his ass more than a few times.’



"I wouldn’t miss it for the world. In the gym?" She nodded. "Should I cheer for you?" he added with a great deal of amusement.



"You should if you know what’s good for you!" She shot an evil smile, which set off his laughing. Trip and Hoshi had taken the table right outside the Captain’s dining room door. He had enlisted the help of the talented linguist to help head off any interruptions of Jon and Katie’s breakfast. Her help came at a price – Trip had to spill the story. He didn’t mind…Hoshi had proven her capabilities of keeping secrets. They looked at each other when they heard Archer’s laugh through the door. Hoshi smiled at Trip.



"As long as I’ve known him, I’ve never heard him laugh like that," she whispered. "He sounds…"



"Happy," Trip finished for her. Hoshi knew both Lieutenant Kane and The Captain fairly well. If anyone deserved to be happy, it was them. She had committed to helping Trip anyway she could.



"Yeah, happy." She looked at the clock, and practically jumped out of her seat. "Oh, Commander. I have to go. I promised the Captain I’d run a few Vulcan documents through the UT before 0800." After she left, Trip thought about his two friends. He was happy for them, he was sure about that. If he was happy for them, why did the ache in his gut hurt so much?