Confessions

Grissom rolled over and slowly disengaged from her embrace careful not to wake up Sara. He went to the bathroom and then to the living room. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands thinking to himself; She was so open with me, what’s wrong with me?

Sara had confessed her utmost secrets to him. The ones she had been harbouring for twenty years. She confessed all of this to him and she didn’t even know his middle name.

He had always been a loner too, much like Sara. They had so much in common it hurt for him to even think about it. His childhood was hard on him too, that is what had led to his eccentric nature.

He was a genius. He excelled at his job as well as in the fields of Biology and Entomology, but he couldn’t confess his secrets to Sara, what was wrong with him?

Sara hadn’t woken up yet. He returned to the bedroom to join her again. He stood and watched her sleeping, curled up in a ball, she looked so peaceful and tranquil. He carefully got back into the bed with her. Feeling the shift in weight on the bed she reached for him.

“Griss?”

“Yes Honey.”

“Umm, where did you go?”

“Just to the bathroom.”

“Ok.” She said snuggling into his chest.

She smelled so good. He loved the feel of her in his arms. He inhaled deeply and realized that this was what he had been missing for so many years. He could have had her in his arms before this. Why was I so stupid?

Sara kissed him on the cheek. “I’m ready to get up, what about you?”

Grissom nodded. “Sure, do you want breakfast?” Its funny how eating at 6 pm could be called breakfast, but for people who work graveyard shift, it was breakfast.

“I guess, what were you thinking about?”

“Pancakes? How about an omelette?” He was grasping at straws, he didn’t know what she liked, he only knew she was a vegetarian.

“Umm, Omelettes would be good. I haven’t had one in a while.” Sara got up and tried to press the wrinkles out of her pyjamas.

Grissom jumped up. “Omelettes it is then.” Maybe I can muster up the courage to talk to her while I cook, cooking always relaxes me.

In the kitchen, Grissom began to look for the ingredients for breakfast. “Sara, where are your pans?”

Sara bent down and passed him a pan. “Do you need any help?”

“Sure, you want to cut up some veggies. I don’t know what you like.” He said a little nervously..

He didn’t know much about Sara and he vowed to learn all about what made one Miss Sara Sidle tick.

Sara chopped up some peppers, onions and mushrooms and put them in a bowl for Grissom. “Do you like cheese in yours?”

“Sure, do you?”

“Yes. I’ll get it out of the fridge.”

Grissom whipped the eggs and placed them in the pan shaking some salt and pepper over the mixture. He added the veggies and the cheese and waited for it to cook. He dished up Sara’s and passed it to her.

Sara sat and ate while Grissom cooked his own. “This is really good, Griss. Where did you learn to cook?”

“My mother. It was just her and I, she taught me to cook.” He finished up cooking his omelette and joined Sara at the table.

“What happened to your dad, Griss?” Sara asked wondering if she overstepped the boundaries.

Grissom wanted to tell her everything. He was having trouble finding the words. “Sara…..” He swallowed hard. “Sara, my dad left when I was six. Just after my mom went deaf.” He was silent.

“Your mom went deaf, Griss?”

“Yes, she had ostoscelerosis. It is a genetic condition that rendered her completely deaf. I have it too.” He was surprised for his own admission.

Sara was silent while processing this newfound information. She slowly pecked away at her omelette.

“A couple of years back when I went on leave. I had an operation. I have the same genetic disorder mom has but, advances in the medical field allowed me to have a stapendectomy to repair my hearing.”

“That was why you were so detached?” Sara asked. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He put his head down. He knew he should have told her but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Catherine had found out by accident. She was a trained investigator and she was good at her job. “I…I couldn’t.” He finally choked out.

“Griss. I…I” He interrupted her.

“Sara, I want to tell you about my family.” He blurted out, struggling for words.

She nodded and reached for his hand to offer him the same comfort he had offered her.

“My mom is an artist, Sara. She runs an art gallery in California. She's amazing, she was a wonderful mother. She raised me all by herself, even when her and my father were together, he was never home. He was a businessman and it kept him out of town for long periods of time. I didn’t even miss him at first, when he left. It was months later I realized he wasn’t coming back.”

Grissom was choking up. He tried to suppress the tears that were begging to fall.

“I was a loner as a child, much like you.” He forced a smile at her. “I discovered bugs and they took over my life. I had learned to sign before I was seven, I needed to learn it to communicate with my mother.”

“Between helping mom and my studies I didn’t have time to make friends. I was nothing more than, to use your word, a ghost." he looked at Sara. "I was invisible in both school and college. I guess living in a silent house I didn’t like to talk a lot. I still don’t.” Do you have any idea how hard this is for me?

As if reading his thoughts she spoke softly, “Griss, I know this is hard for you, but you don’t know how much it means to me.”

“I figured if you bared your soul to me, Sara, why couldn’t I bare mine to you.”

Sara got up an approached him. “I’m happy you did.”

Grissom looked at his watch. “Sara I need to go home and get ready for shift tonight.”

“Don’t remind me,” Sara spat. “Forgive me if I’m not excited about working with Catherine and Ecklie.”

“Sara, don’t worry. Everything will be fine.” He assured her.

Sara leaned into his chest. “I hope so.”

He pulled away from her embrace, Sara pouted. “I'll see you at work tonight. Sara, don’t worry, everything will be alright.” He assured her for the second time in so many minutes.