Hard Won

Note: A few canon details have been conveniently misplaced. *cough* literary license *cough*











Jean-Luc Picard's eyelids fluttered open sluggishly and the man swallowed. Wincing at the way the action stung his raw, swollen throat, he wondered dimly, //Am I ill?// An unconscious shift in his position and a gradual clearing of his bleary eyes, though, brought everything that he and Q had done -- //When? Last night? Is it morning?// -- back to him in a wave that was too bright to see clearly but which nevertheless felt so good it hurt. Q was behind him, pressed all along the length of his body, his human face mashed into Jean-Luc's shoulder. Clumsily, the man began to roll backward, wanting to see his lover and to try and make sense of what had happened and what he was feeling. Apparently alert, Q shifted effortlessly to compensate for Picard's change in position, smiling shyly when their eyes met.



"Q," Jean-Luc croaked hoarsely. Q bit his lip, brows crinkled together in concern, and whipped a hand up to snap. A panic he didn't fully understand stabbed at Picard's chest, but he relaxed again when he realized that Q had taken away not only the soreness in his throat, but the pain in the rest of his body as well. Q wasn't going to leave him. "You're still here."



"Shouldn't I be?" Picard found himself frowning at the uncertainty in the entity's eyes that was in no way overshadowed by the easy smile on his lips. Did he really have that much power?



"You should be where you like, but… I'm glad you're here now. Speaking of which, exactly when is 'now'?" Actually asking the computer what time it was seemed liked a lot of work, somehow, while asking Q was more like thinking out loud. Q pursed his lips, playful irony tugging faintly at the corner of his mouth.



"Something in the area of… nineteen thirty, I believe, Mon Capitaine." Picard sighed languidly and his eyelids were beginning to droop closed again when a thought occurred to him.



"The same night we… did all of that?" Rolling his eyes, Q nodded.



"Yes, the same night." Picard snickered softly and resettled himself against the sheets, raising his arms above his head to stretch. He felt wonderful now, without all of the aches and pains of muscles pushed into extreme labor on unforgivably short notice. Images of what they had done so recently burbled up from his memory a few at a time and made him feel warm all over. Q had been so patient when a lack of restraint might have put the man off, and then, just when Jean-Luc had really begun to wish that the entity were there with him physically, Q had appeared. Now that he knew that he wasn't required to be anywhere at the moment and was not missing out on necessary sleep, perhaps he could allow himself to relax and enjoy the appreciation and contentment which pressed up so insistently from inside him.



"Q," he murmured thoughtfully, turning his head so that he could look the entity in the eye. "You've just been lying there for two hours? Like that? Holding me?" Q grinned smugly.



"Of course. What would you have had me do? Sleep?" The idea that Q had remained conscious for two hours, doing nothing but holding him, made Jean-Luc's stomach knot nervously. He was torn between feeling that, considering Q's typical attention span and his culture, no one deserved that sort of devotion, and feeling burdened by Q's unwillingness to restrain himself. Stronger than either feeling, though, was the fondness Q's presence seemed to now elicit in him, and his delight in the comfortable way they had begun to de-claw their old, adversarial dynamic without altering it significantly.



"Mmm. But it can't have been very interesting. Are you sure some part of you wasn't tripping the light fantastic with a couple of energetic stars?" Snickering dismissively, Q rolled onto his back and clasped his hands behind his head without taking his gaze from Jean-Luc's.



"Step right up, see the human make a pun." Though the entity's expression was disdainful, Picard basked in the warmth and adoration Q couldn't banish from his sparkling, dark eyes. //This is much more like it, yes.//



"Two puns, actually. Which did you miss?"



"And you call me arrogant." Lazily, Picard ran his fingers through Q's soft, dark hair.



"My being arrogant doesn't make you humble, Q." Q gave the man a winning smile as he pressed into the touch.



"No, it makes me irritated." Tipping his head back, Picard let out a rumbling chuckle, squeezing Q's head in his fingertips a few times for emphasis. The entity rolled onto his side and snuggled up against Jean-Luc, pressing soft kisses to his collarbone. With a sigh, Picard tucked a gentle finger under Q's chin and raised his head, trying to put openness and affection into an expression that suddenly wanted to be sober.



"I imagine what I'm going to say next is going to irritate you far more… We really have to talk, Q." Grunting and seeming about to scrunch his face into a petulant scowl, Q exhaled resignedly and nodded as Jean-Luc withdrew his finger.



"Yes, of course, Jean-Luc. Of course," he murmured hollowly, retreating onto his back again, though he still allowed his thigh to lie along the length of the man's. Picard frowned and passed a hand slowly over his face, wishing he had planned this conversation out more thoroughly. Or at all. Something had to be said, something had to be resolved; that much was obvious. The whole situation was utter insanity from beginning to end. Deep down, he wanted to find a justification for it, to find a way of looking at it that would allow him to keep the joy and the intimacy and the stimulation of it. If he couldn't, though, he knew that he had to end it while he could still see the rightness of condemning himself to what might amount to a life-long lack of fulfillment. Time was clearly running out on that; Q's physical withdrawal and the emotional withdrawal it symbolized made him want to rip something apart with his bare hands. He took a deep breath.



"Love is… an ambiguous term, as you were so quick to point out when I said that I loved Beverly. It can mean all sorts of things and be… true… for varying lengths of time." Q shifted slightly and remained silent, staring pointedly at the ceiling. Licking his lips, Picard forced himself to go on. "Q, I will admit to the majority of what you insisted was true about me, that night. I will also admit that I… have had what I have considered to be an… exceedingly dangerous… attraction to you for some time now…"



"But, Jean-Luc, but. Get to the 'but'. I might have all night but that doesn't mean I want to spend it listening to you try to soften whatever blow it is you've got coming. I've got all of eternity, and if I'm here I'm obviously a masochist, but please just have enough respect for me to get on with it." Slightly startled by the bitterness in Q's voice and the pain in the dark, glittering eyes that still did not look at him, Picard cleared his throat hesitantly.



"You're right, Q… That is, you would be right, if I knew what the point was and I was deliberately keeping it from you, but honestly, I don't." The entity turned his head then, his full upper lip curled in a snarl.



"It isn't as though you haven't had two weeks to think about it. I half expected you to whip out a padd with your speech already written. 'Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise respectfully declines your offer of undying affection. Please accept one last roll in the hay as an expression of his condolences.' But, then, even your tiny human brain could probably have stored that little gem without having to enter it into a padd to help you reme." P." Pressing the heels of his hands to his forehead, Picard blinked away the sting of Q's words. //He's in pain. Don't get angry. He's in pain.// The man shifted his jaw slowly and took a deep breath.



"Q, I admit to being unprepared, but it was intentional. I have a tendency to over think things, as you well know. I didn't want to argue myself into or out of this when I… really didn't have all the information." Q glared at him, his dark eyes shimmering wetly.



"Is that the best you can do, Jean-Luc? I'm pouring out my heart and you're talking about arguments and information. I might as well have become inordinately obsessed with the robot. I disgust myself." A hot, thick knot lurched into Jean-Luc's throat and for a moment he thought he might vomit. His eyes burned and his hands itched to clench and twist, to tear something apart, but he didn't know what. Q's pain? His own emotional impotence? Still glaring, Q sat up. Picard felt wild inside, terrified that the entity would leave again before he'd had the chance to say all of the things that were tumbling around in his mind and in his stomach and filling his chest so full it hurt, but if he had so many things to say why had he just made an ass of himself with his 'arguments' and his 'information'? Q had been right. With no more thoughts of propriety, diplomacy or caution, Jean-Luc grabbed Q's arm and scrambled up to kiss him. Mobile brows narrowing, the entity shoved him away with staggering strength, blinking and shaking his head as a tear plunged down and off the edge of a high cheekbone. //He hasn't learned to control that yet either,// Picard thought distantly. "No, Jean-Luc. Maybe we both thought I just had something I needed to get out of my system, that I'd tumble around with you and be done with it, but I didn't and I'm not." Jean-Luc inhaled shakily and, realizing how tightly he clutched at the entity's arm, opened his hand and let it fall to his side.



"You're right, Q… I'm… I'm sorry." Sniffing wetly, Q continued to glare, but Picard thought he could see the entity's eyes soften very slightly.



"I don't know why I thought I would be different, Jean-Luc. Oh, wait, maybe it was because I'm an immortal, god-like being unbelievably superior to the other men in your life." Picard felt dampness on his upper lip and stifled the urge to sniffle, felt pain behind his eyes and stifled the urge to blink tears onto his own cheeks. He didn't even consider the possibility of letting his body react as it wished to his nervous anguish; he had trained himself too well for that.



"What do you mean?"



"You really don't know? What is that Betazoid street magician doing on your ship if she can't even introduce you to yourself?" When Q seemed unlikely to continue, Picard squinted and raised his jaw at him. //He even talks in riddles when he wants to get to the point of something.// The entity sighed. "Jean-Luc, did you ever tell Jack how you felt about him?" Picard tensed. What did that have to do with anything? What business was it of Q's? Who did Q think he was? His whole being rebelled against the increasingly personal nature of the subject matter, but he put down the rebellion and ran a hand over his scalp.



"I… He knew." His expression softening further, Q crossed his legs and made a demonstrative, even theatrical gesture. Those dark eyes sparkled with hope and purpose now, and Picard couldn't help remembering the night two weeks ago, when Q had explained the man's own feelings to him as he might explain a physics problem to an eager but dense young student.



"Maybe he did, but I asked if you told him." Hesitantly, resigning himself more and more to the tone of the exchange, Picard shook his head. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was because he trusted Q to take the conversation wherever was necessary to illuminate the situation for him. He had locked himself away too tightly to break the clasp on his own.



"Not… Well, no. I told him that I cared for him, but by then I meant it platonically. I had to. He was married." Q grinned, but the look in his eyes was sad, not triumphant. //He isn't trying to humiliate me.// Only in realizing that he no longer suspected Q of having that particular motive could Jean-Luc see that he had continued to carry the suspicion even after his initial grudging acceptance of this particular Q episode in his life. The realization relaxed him, and extra layers of defense that he hadn't even been consciously aware of fell away with long-trained reluctance.



"That seems to be something of a habit for you, yes? You say, 'Well done,' when you mean, 'You're one of my closest friends.' You say, 'Very well done,' when you mean, 'You're like the son I never had.' What do you say, I wonder, when you mean, 'I love you desperately'?" A goofy smile stretched across Picard's lips and he didn't try to stop it. He was too consumed by a new feeling of wonder and warm affection that coated his insides and soothed away the fearful, nervous knots there.



"I say, 'I care for you a great deal, Q.'" How could he not have realized? //After what I've done to myself, and what he's done to me, I'm surprised I understood as quickly as I did. Neither of us could have been trusted with it before.// When Q's dark eyes twinkled and the corner of his mouth twitched upward, excitement fluttered in Picard's stomach. Suddenly he wanted to understand more. He wanted to understand everything. "That's why I didn't send you away when you gave me the chance… That's why I didn't make myself resist your advance even before I knew how you felt… That's why I couldn't stand to see you suffering…" Q leaned in abruptly and interrupted the rushed, joyful flow of words with a teasing, wet kiss.



"Yes, mon amour, and that's why you let me fuck you… twice," the entity breathed against his lips, his gaze sparkling with desire and the oh-so-familiar hint of a challenge. //Good God, who could look into those eyes and not get hard?//



"I did, didn't I?" Q seemed about to reply, but the memories the entity's words had conjured up compelled Jean-Luc to surge forward, to kiss him and press him back onto the bed. When Q's mouth opened and an image of being held down while the entity pounded him roughly and sweetly coursed through the man's mind like boiling, liquid metal, Picard groaned. Oh, how he wanted to take Q that way, to feel those strong thighs wrapping around him while tight heat enveloped his cock. More than that, though, he wanted to see Q writhe the way he knew he had, wanted to pin Q down and watch the entity succumb to helpless ecstasy as Q had done to him. He groaned again and realized he was already holding the entity down harder than he'd intended, but Q sucked eagerly at his tongue, showing no signs of reticence. Gasping, he pulled back, breaking the kiss and looking into hazy, impossibly deep brown eyes. Those eyes were so intelligent, so knowing, but Jean-Luc was certain that what he saw there was only a feeble dilution of the real knowledge behind them. Intellect had never failed to turn him on, but there was so much more to that response with Q. "Q… I want you."



"Like this?" The entity drew his heels back along the bed, spreading his legs.



"Have you ever…?" Jean-Luc found that, even as he wanted to know, he couldn't keep his lips from Q's soft, flushed skin. Every kiss was like a caress against his mouth; every damp patch of sweat was some deliciously cruel dessert that only worsened his hunger. Reminding himself to avoid the entity's mouth so he could answer, Jean-Luc sucked at Q's shoulder, stopping intermittently to nuzzle against it. When had he last made love with so little reservation? Had he ever made love with so little reservation?



"Me? Let a human stick his… organ into my body?" Q's snicker was breathless and his condescension lost all sting when he arched against the fingers teasing his nipples. "Jean-Luc…"



"Who's shy now, Mon Capitaine Illégitime? And it isn't really your body."



"It most certainly is," the entity gasped as Picard lowered his hot mouth over one straining pink bud. "It's as much me as I can be and still let you do that… Oh, Jean-Luc, don't stop doing that…" Smiling into Q's skin, the man mumbled around the nipple in his mouth.



"But you said you kept it for me." Picard swirled his tongue, drawing a quiet moan and the thrust of a striving erection against his stomach. "I got the impression that you could just as easily embody yourself in some other way." Q's hands were wandering over his back now, dancing quickly on light fingertips.



"I know what I said… I was trying to make a point… I could… ohhh… what are you doing…? I could be some other species… but… the other aspects are… basically me." Picard flitted his tongue over the edge of Q's ear and the entity pressed his head into the caress, snorting and shivering simultaneously when the organ slipped inside. "How… ridiculous… that that should feel good… Do you -- ahh! -- Do you realize… what sorts of things… are inside there?" Smirking, the man withdrew his tongue but not his lips and whispered,



"There are worse things elsewhere, but you didn't seem especially hesitant about that." Q shivered again as Picard pulled away to frown contemplatively. "It is interesting, though, isn't it? To have erogenous zones in places that have nothing to do with reproduction? No one these days would dispute that humans, as least, have a physical need for sex, but one can't help wondering why, if not to drive them toward procreation." A strong, warm hand flattened across Jean-Luc's back and pulled him down so that they were touching all along the length of their bodies. The sensation was heady and distracted the man instantly from his philosophical musings. Q kissed him, parting his lips with a tongue that wasn't going to take no for an answer and wasn't about to receive it, either. When the entity rubbed the soft, wet tip of his cock against Jean-Luc's stomach again, the man groaned, remembering what he had been getting at with his line of questioning. "Q…" he breathed into Q's mouth, raising his head as he shifted so that their erections would meet. The contact sent a pleasurable jolt up through Jean-Luc's cock to blossom and spread in his stomach, and he could see from the entity's expression that something similar had happened in his lover's body. "Then… this is you?" He pressed himself harder against Q's erection for emphasis. The entity smirked, his eyes shimmering wiustfustful mirth.



"Jean-Luc, are you asking if I'm really a man?" Feeling sheepish in spite of his desire, the man shrugged one shoulder.



"I noticed that some Q choose to appear as human females, and I assume there must be a reason for that." Closing his eyes for a moment, Q raised his hips, moaning softly at the maddening, insufficient friction. Picard shivered, but most of his attention was on the entity's face as he awaited a response.



"The Q don't have sexes, but we do have something vaguely similar to what you would think of as genders. There are more than two… almost as many as there are Q, actually, but when we appear to humans we invariably pick one or the other… to avoid the spooking the cattle." The man chuckled thoughtfully, his dark brows crinkling a bit as he considered the idea. It really was a sensible way of doing things, he thought, particularly if there were no physical delineations to suggest one alignment or another.



"So… what are you, then? In the Continuum, I mean. Do the genders have individual names?"



"What is this human obsession with naming things? Q don't even have individual names, Jean-Luc. Do you think we named everything else and just forgot that part?" Picard chuckled again, shrugging his concession. Grinning in a way that made his delight at having the opportunity to talk about himself obvious, Q continued. "No, they don't have names… Think of a spectrum with true red for absolute femininity on the left gradually bleeding into true blue for absolute masculinity on the right. A Q's 'gender' is something like where he, she or it falls on that spectrum, or how he, she or it feels today. Of course, I don't think any Q has actually hit true red or true blue, but you get the idea." Picard found the whole concept fascinating, but he couldn't help focusing on his original question. He knew Q would laugh at him for being so narrow-minded, but he wanted to know.



"And where do you fall on that spectrum?" Q's sensual upper lip twitched and at first Jean-Luc thought he would sneer at him, but there was no scorn in the entity's eyes. Instead, the expression was impious and full of insinuation. Of course, of course it was; this was his Q, not some overblown god-thing, terrifying in its apparent lack of care. His Q loved him. The thought reassured him, but he wasn't certain it would ever fully sink in. Q tossed his wrist lightly.



"Oh, I have my indigo days and I have my violet days. I'm blue enough for you, if that's the question." Picard closed his eyes and ground his erection against Q's, knowing he shouldn't be so relieved and aroused by such a trivial thing but unable to help himself. The entity began to chuckle, but the sound was strangled into a groan when Jean-Luc tugged at his hair and thrust more insistently against him. "If I were… pink… would you still… want me, Jean-Luc?" The man stilled over him, frowning.



"I don't know, Q. I should, shouldn't I? I don't know." Suddenly something cold and painful settled in the pit of his stomach. What if Q had stretched the truth out of fear of losing his desirability to Jean-Luc? More importantly, why did his attraction to Q threaten to hinge on the abstract concept of colors on a spectrum? Was he that shallow? One of Q's hands slithered around to cup his ass and pull him closer, and he had to catch himself before he resisted. Had Q told him the truth? Why did it matter? He had to know. "Q… You knew what I wanted you to say. That didn't influence…" Q rolled his eyes and exhaled.



"Did I lie so you'd still want to fuck me? No, Jean-Luc. I've loved you for a long time, but not so long that I would have committed myself to this particular form if it weren't representative of me. I was just curious… and as for whether you should or shouldn't, stop trying to represent all of Humanity for a minute and ask your body what it wants. Ask your heart what it wants. There's all the answer you're ever going to get. Now fuck me, ape-man." Grinning wickedly, Jean-Luc rose to a kneeling position, trailing his hand down the center of Q's chest and stomach as he went.



"How do you know so much about human sexuality?" Q held the man's gaze as he spread his legs further.



"I did some research. I had a feeling it might come in handy." Jean-Luc leaned down and kissed the inside of Q's knee before dragging his lips slowly up the length of a long, toned thigh.



"Research?" he murmured, smirking against the soft skin at the join of the entity's leg. Q's hips shifted. "Reading manuals, watching holo-vids, that sort of thing?" Q snorted breathlessly.



"Sure, okay."



"Field research, then?" Jean-Luc replaced his mouth with a strong hand and held Q's hips down firmly. Still smirking, he exhaled warm breath over the entity's straining erection.



"Mmmm… Mmmhmm." Picard drew the tip of his tongue so lightly up the underside of Q's cock that half of the stroke had him licking at salty, musky air. Q's body tried to squirm, his hips tried to thrust, but Jean-Luc supplemented his grip with some of his body weight and soon the entity stilled again, his breathing audible.



"So you've had sex? With humans?" Jean-Luc smiled against the soft, wet head of Q's cock, loving the way it slithered over his lips as he spoke. The entity made a breathy sound, as though what was supposed to be a moan had died on his lips when his lover had ceased to actively stimulate him.



"Jean-Luc…" His eyes beginning to glaze over, Picard watched Q's erection bod trd tremble as the entity wriggled in his grasp. The organ was urgent in its quivering, seeming to seek relieving friction on its own when the body it was attached to could no longer offer aid. He licked his lips, swallowing down some of the extra saliva that had formed in his mouth at the mere contemplation of Q's cock.



"How many humans have you had sex with?" Jean-Luc couldn't help chuckling against Q's thigh when the entity choked out a frustrated sound through clenched teeth.



"What difference does it make? Do you really want to know that I poked and prodded with thirty-seven different humans in preparation for having you? Do you really want to know that an embarrassingly large proportion of them were short bald men? Jean-Luc, just fuck me already!" Not wanting to risk removing his hands from Q's hips, Picard leaned in and kissed the straining, flushed cock in front of him, regretting as he did that he couldn't talk at the same time. Even now he found that some part of him rebelled against letting Q have the last word. Q's soft moan got louder when he swirled his tongue over the leaking head, and Jean-Luc couldn't believe he had managed to live for so long without the taste of another man on his tongue. But this wasn't just another man; this was Q, a man -- or something -- that he was increasingly starting to believe that he might love. The thought made him echo his lover's moan, and before he realized what he was doing, Jean-Luc had taken the tip of Q's erection into his mouth. Q's body tensed, and a sheen of sweat seemed to spring up over him instantly as the entity gasped and jerked. Jean-Luc could feel the resistance under his hands and tried to allot some part of his attention to maintaining his grip, but it was so easy to lose himself in the musky bitterness and living, pulsing need gliding over his tongue. Q began to tremble and then he was gasping softly, so softly, "Oh…Oh… Jean-Luc… It feels… It's so much better… but… but…" Unconsciously quirking a dark brow, Picard made an interrogative noise and plunged houthouth further over Q's cock, tightening his lips around the taut flesh and imagining he could feel the blood hammering there. Q was whimpering now, half-started words strangling in his throat. When Jean-Luc closed his eyes and exhaled through his nose to help relax his throat so that he could take his lover in more deeply, he felt strong thighs shifting as Q tried to pull away. Startled, he let the cock slip from his lips, pulling a tiny, glistening trail of saliva and precum between them as it went, and eased his grip on the entity's hips. "I… I don't want to… come without you… inside me," Q panted with much effort.



"It would help you relax," Jean-Luc murmured, smiling hazily up at the entity and tasting the inside of his mouth, thrilled to find traces of Q still there.



"I don't want to relax, Jean-Luc, I want to get fucked… and you didn't seem to have a lot of trouble when it was your turn. I think you're the one who needs to relax and just get on with it. I would suck you off first, but I think we'd have problems in phase two if I did that." Q's eyes were dancing under low lids and the man had to laugh at himself for over thinking things yet again. He could manage anal sex with a minimum of discomfort when he wanted to, and he had even learned to enjoy what pain could not be avoided. Why was he being so protective of Q? Q had never performed this particular act, but doubtlessly he had performed something analogous, probably more times than the man could imagine. Beyond that, there was also the possibility of Q's using his powers to keep his human body's reaction within the limits of acceptability, at least the first time. The idea of Q using his powers to alter the experience of sex for one or both of them did not disturb him, but the fact that it did not disturb him disturbed him. When he spared a glance up the length of that damp, straining body with legs open and cock so impossibly hard for him, though, all of his misgivings vaporized in a hot rush of desire.



Settling himself into a comfortable kneel between Q's thighs and trying to control his urgency with deep breaths, Jean-Luc held up his hand where the entity could see it and brushed his fingers against his thumb meaningfully. In an instant the brushing became sliding as Q wished silky lubrication into existence. He trailed his fingertips lightly over the underside of Q's erection and, though the entity shivered, Q frowned warningly down at Jean-Luc. //I know, I know, 'just get on with it.'// Grinning faintly, Picard urged the entity to spread his legs further.



"A pillow under your hips would be a good idea. Actually, you might do better to roll over." The man overcame his impulse to blink like a startled animal when Q's hips were suddenly a few inches higher than they had been a moment ago, a pink, heart-shaped, lace-lined pillow raising them comfortably. He snickered. "I always knew you were a flaming queen, Q, but somehow I didn't think you'd want to announce it over the comm system."



"Strong words from a man who won't even put his dick inside me."



Q's rejoinder had exactly what Picard would decide, in retrospect, had been the intended effect. His caution momentarily forgotten as he let himself be wrapped up and toted away by the invigorating challenge of their dynamic, Jean-Luc's only thought, if he had one at all, was, //I'll show you!// as he plunged one slick finger past the tight ring of muscle guarding the entrance to Q's human body. Q made a choked sound and Picard's heart stopped for a beat before the entity was spreading his legs wider and groaning,



"Finally…"



"Are you okay? Does it hurt?" Jean-Luc murmured, relieved to find, as he explored gently with his finger, that Q had at some point lubricated the inside of his own body. The muscle was more relaxed than he had expected it to be, and the man found that he was soon able to insinuate the tip of a second digit inside his lover.



"Hurt…? I… I'm not used to… I have no idea… It's…" Q was babbling, his voice suffused with quiet awe and even a hint of curiosity. Smiling as he let the knowledge that he had somehow managed to give the gift of curiosity to a being many times older than his own home planet wash over him, Jean-Luc inched his second finger further inside. He held his breath as the last knuckle breached the gently spasming muscle, but Q only moaned and trembled. Jean-Luc paused, letting the entity rest that way for a moment. Q's breathing slowed a bit and after a few seconds he was raising his ass, silently asking for more.



"I take it you approve, then?" Jean-Luc chuckled when Q tried to snort dismissively even as his hips squirmed and his human breath came in soft pants. "You'll approve of this, I know." Glancing upward as he focused on the landscape inside of Q's body, Picard worked his fingers in and out slowly until he located the warm, spongy gland he had hoped the entity had not neglected to include in this embodiment.



"What…?" But the rest of Q's words were lost in a choked moan as Jean-Luc brushed the pads of his fingers gently over that spot inside him.



"I was hoping to find that you'd been this thorough, Q," the man rumbled huskily, briefly closing his eyes against the sensation of the entity's muscles pulling at him, trying to draw his fingers in deeper. His cock wept onto the sheets, no longer content with being forgotten in favor of Q. //I could come just like this, with my fingers inside him, if I let myself.// Growling, Q bent his knees and hitched his hips hard, swallowing the penetrating digits up to their very hilts.



"I'm hoping… that you're… about to get a… lot more… thorough yourself," the entity gasped. Jean-Luc pressed against Q's prostate again, harder this time, and took the opportunity as his lover groaned and shuddered to spread his fingers apart, to test the muscles that held him. It would be tight but possible, he decided. Withdrawing gingerly, the man counted to five silently to calm himself before he dared to grip his erection, hot and straining, now slathered in lubricant of Q's making, at its base and guide it toward the entity's opening. Q trembled very slightly in anticipation and arched, twining his arms above his head in a self-indulgent pose that nearly had Jean-Luc coming hard before he'd even entered his body.



"My God, Q," the man whispered breathlessly, his hazy eyes wanting to leap out of their sockets and crawl along the length of Q's drawn, downy stomach, over his slick, quivering chest, and up and up until they had an intimate view of parted, full lips and darkly clouded eyes.



"Your sex god?" Those lips curved very faintly upward at the corners as Q caressed Jean-Luc's thigh with the pads of his toes.



"Yes, anything, just… stay like that." Q's answering smirk became a starry-eyed grimace when the man pressed forward firmly, the head of his cock breaching the tight opening before it stopped, quivering inside him. They breathed together, Q blinking rapidly and trying to relax around the strange new invasion, and Jean-Luc searching himself for the serenity and objectivity it would take him to keep from shooting immediately inside all of that tight heat. Dimly, the man remembered with pained amusement that his recent sexual experiences, what few there had been of them, had seen him digging inside himself for fantasies and ideas that would help to get him hard, help to get him off. //I had forgotten how good it is to feel powerless against pleasure, to be striving against it instead of striving to achieve it.// The thought gave Jean-Luc the distance he needed to continue, and he began rock his hips gently, burying more of himself inside the entity with each thrust. Whimpering and sweating beneath him, Q locked his legs around Picard's waist and drew the man to him hard. Their flesh slapped together and Jean-Luc lost his balance in the crackle and burn of nerves overcome with sensation as his cock was swallowed in groping heat. He fell forward over Q's splayed body, his lips sliding along the tight, flushed chest he so ardently admired and Q embraced him with strong, slippery arms. All premeditation was gone as their bodies found a rhythm, moderate at first and then rougher, with Jean-Luc clinging to the sheets to keep them both from sliding into the wall.



"More, Jean-Luc…" Q moaned into the man's ear, his hot breath caressing that sensitive spot and making Jean-Luc shudder and whimper. "Fuck me harder… Please...! Oh, more…" All at once, in a devastating rush, Picard knew he was going to lose it. His muscles strained and his wiry chest hair rasped over the entity's nipples as he shook, trying to hold on just that much longer. It was too much; there was fire stroking his in in a rhythm made perfect by its having been conceived by his own body; Q was biting his shoulder and clawing at him, transformed into an even more primitive animal by his rapture; the pain from the entity's abrasion of his skin triggered sparks behind Jean-Luc's eyes and in his balls, drawing them painfully tight. Any second now, any second, it was going to happen, he was going to come and empty himself and he wanted to think of Q's pleasure, to ensure that his lover achieved climax first, but he was quickly losing the ability to think of anything at all. //If only it hadn't been so long since I… Dieu, oh Dieu…// The man moaned, grimacing, feeling himself beginning fall. He glanced up helplessly and Q's dark eyes were there, waiting for him, wide and euphoric. "Do it. Do it. Come inside me, Jean-Luc."



Jean-Luc was shuddering before his name left those perfect lips, his eyes rolling back into his head, his back hollowing, his hips pounding forward in stuttering, arrhythmic surges. Heat gushed up from his thighs, pouring into Q's body and into his own, making him grimace and gasp and shake with the force of it. The man was faintly aware that Q was convulsing beneath him, crying out and squeezing him inside, but by then he was already falling in slow motion with no strength left to catch himself. They collapsed together in a spent heap, Jean-Luc's head fitting comfortably in the hollow of Q's shoulder and resting wetly there for some time.



"Any pain?" Jean-Luc mumbled against the entity's skin when his body had calmed.



"Mmm? Oh…Some." Q's voice sounded dreamy and far away, but the man couldn't elude a sharp prick of guilt at the thought of having hurt his lover.



"I'm sorry, Q." //But you were so impatient. I tried to warn you.// Q's slick chest vibrated against Jean-Luc's cheek as the entity chuckled.



"Don't be, Jean-Luc. About five minutes ago I thought of wishing it away and then decided I actually sort of liked it." Jean-Luc smirked sleepily, running the heel of a lazy hand up and down the length of Q's slack bicep.



"'Five minutes ago'? You'd better get back to the Continuum before you really start to think like a human." Q snickered dismissively, but the man could feel a subtle change in the entity's posture. He had tensed slightly, and his breathing, while still even, was just that much shallower.



"Speaking of the Continuum…" Wincing as his muscles protested, Jean-Luc pushed himself up to lean on one elbow so that they could look at each other.



"You have to go." Q nodded, his eyes flitting around the room with a calculated sobriety that nearly concealed his nervousness. He sat slowly and raised his hand to snap but the man took it in his own. Arched, expressive brows drew together. "Don't… change anything. I mean, leave me like this." Jean-Luc nodded down at himself, indicating his sweat and semen slicked body. Nodding once with a faint, rueful half-smile, the entity tried to pull his hand away but found that it was still held fast. "Q, are you in some kind of danger? Are they angry with you?" Jean-Luc felt the Q's hand go limp in his and he risked letting go, hoping his lover wouldn't vanish without answering. The man had a flash of wondering whether he would ever trust Q not to come and go inappropriately. Instead of snapping, Q shrugged and glanced around again.



"I don't know exactly what they're up to. All I know is that I've been… absent recently. They couldn't locate me properly because I was spending a lot of time in my human form and I wasn't using my powers much."



"Research," the man rumbled, and Q nodded.



"Mmm… But tonight… Well, I might as well have sent out an all points bulletin. I just want to get back before they decide to demand my presence. You know, 'the best defense is a good offense', as you humans are so fond of oversimplifying." Jean-Luc's legs squirmed under him as he struggled into a sitting position. Q's wandering eyes made him uneasy and he mustered what presence and charisma he had that hadn't been pumped out of his cock and into the entity's human body along with his energy and his heart and his liquefied brain to hold his lover's gaze.



"But surely you're allowed to be absent for as long as you like… I thought the Continuum was about individuality and suggestion rather than conformity and requirement." Q made every effort to turn his grimace into a sheepish smile, but Jean-Luc saw it for what it was. "What, Q? What are you not telling me?" The entity's face contorted into a scowl, but his eyes drooped, making the expression grotesque and almost painful to look at.



"It's complicated." Jean-Luc narrowed his eyes.



"Too complicated for my miniscule human brain to comprehend, I suppose you mean."



"Something like that." Sitting back on his heels, Q made a show of putting some distance between them as he crossed his arms over his bare chest.



"I'm not buying it, Q. There's something you don't want me to know." Jean-Luc was frowning, preparing to turn the other cheek to whatever hurtful thing the entity might snap at him, but suddenly Q lowered his face into his hands and shook his head. Muffled, bitter laughter squeezed its way between his long fingers.



"Oh, Jean-Luc," Q sighed as he raised his head, a sardonic grin seeming to crack his face in half. "It's so ironic I can't stand it." The man furrowed his brow and inched toward Q on his knees, hoping the entity wouldn't pull away again.



"What is?" Q bore Jean-Luc's gentle touch of his thigh, and in a moment he was covering the man's hand with his own.



"If you were as stupid and insensitive as most humans, it would be so easy to lie to you that I wouldn't even think twice before I did it… but if you were as stupid and insensitive as most humans, there wouldn't be anything to lie about." Snorting mirthlessly, Q shook his head again. Jean-Luc squirmed his thumb out from under the entity's hand to run it soothingly across the dainty knuckles along the back.



"So this… situation with the Continuum has something to do with me?" Q drew in a deep breath and when he let it out again, looking regretfully at the far wall, it was as though his purpose had gone with it.



"It has everything to do with you, actually. Well, that's not true; it has everything to do with Q and Q being sore losers, and Q's having been jealous of my ingenuity since time immemorial. But it's all getting hung on you, unfortunately." Jean-Luc kissed Q's shoulder chastely, almost incidentally.



"I'm afraid my miniscuumanuman brain requires a bit more elaboration." The entity smiled softly, looking back at him. //He loves me. I don't actually think those three words will ever make sense to me.// Jean-Luc deliberately dog-paddled above another set of three words that he was not ready to face.



"Right. Well, Q and I used to tool around together a lot. We were interested in a lot of the same things, and at the time I was as reckless as he was but not jaded enough to snub him on the basis of my not needing anyone else to enjoy myself. He was always getting us into scrapes… always taking things just a teency bit too far.



It took me a few hundred years to realize he was trailing along on my cosmic coattails because he was too stupid to think of interesting things to do on his own and he was so resentful about it that he wanted all of my brilliant ideas to blow up in my face after he was finished enjoying them."



Picard's dark brows knitted tightly as he tried to absorb Q's narrative as quickly and thoroughly as he might be expected to. Which Q was this? What sorts of reckless things? What in the universe could 'just a teency bit too far' mean to a Q? Throwing planets out of alignment? Blowing them up? Causing an entire species to evolve as organic lawn chairs? He blinked and nodded when he realized Q was waiting patiently for permission to continue.



"So that's Q. Q and Q aren't as destructive, but they've got a lot of sway among the others. Actually, they're worse because they're big advocates for the Continuum as a whole taking more interest in the private affairs of individual Q. It's this whole 'social government' idea they're philosophizing about; total sophistry."



"Isn't it always? Sophistry, I mean."



"What?"



"When anyone tries to justify poking into people's private lives as a matter of social concern."



"Who's telling this story? Presumptuous human. Anyway. The basic gist is that when a Q does something he oughtn't -- and who decides that, hmm? -- we're all supposed to get together to scowl disdainfully at him and refuse to join with him until he's learned his lesson. Of course, as you know, when a Q does something he REALLY shouldn't do, the Continuum steps in and does a lot more than scowl at him… but the sorts of things Q and Q want to discourage don't really justify that kind of action on the part of the Continuum."



"Such as?" Q shrugged, sighing.



"I don't know, neglecting one's fellow Q in order to obsess over a primitive lifeform, the mere mention of whom has them all glaring blue murder anyway?" Jean-Luc couldn't help grinning faintly.



"A sort of 'there goes the neighborhood' situation? Little Susie's mooning over a Cardassian?" Q snickered, but the man caught the twinkle in his eyes before they roamed away from him.



"Right, only the Cardassian is an amoeba and Little Susie is a hyper-intelligent, telepathic, empathic immortal entity." Rolling his eyes, Jean-Luc nipped at the soft flesh of Q's bicep. Q tried to glare at him, but the expression dissolved into a fond smirk.



"I believe you said something about Q and… Q being sore losers." The entity shifted gently against Jean-Luc, pulling away and drawing up straighter.



"It's a long story, and I've already told you more than I'd intended to. Whatever happens, I don't want you to think it's your fault. I really do need to go." The man nodded soberly and tucked his hand behind Q's head.



"Be careful," he murmured as he kissed the full lips that lowered to meet his.



"I love you, Jean-Luc." Before he could answer, or even think about what he might say, Q was gone.