Who Will Save Our Souls?

Chapter 3

The porthole between universes opened, spitting four figures out into the middle of aeet eet in Pyrus. Ares rolled and came up on his feet, Xena following his lead. Gabrielle was a little sore from the impact and shook herself off. As she stood, she noticed that one of her companions had not yet made it onto his feet.

"Joxer?" Not only was he still on the ground, he was curled up into a ball, hands over his ears as if he were blocking out sounds. She knelt next to him and shook his shoulder gently. "Hey, Joxer, are you okay?" She jumped back as his eyes met hers and she saw the pain they held.

"Please, Gabby, make it stop!"

Xena and Ares walked over next to Gabrielle and Joxer. Xena crouched down and tried to pull Joxer's hands away from his ears, but he wouldn't let go.

"Joxer, what's wrong? What happened?"

"I don't know! The voices! They won't stop!"

"Voices? What voices?"

"In my head! So many!"

Xena and Gabrielle exchanged a glance, both worried about their friend. He seemed to curl up even tighter, rocking himself.

"What do we do, Xena?"

"I don't know. I've never seen anything like it."

"Just leave him. We've got more important things to do."

The women turned to glare at Ares. "If you want our help, Ares, you're going to have to wait."

"We don't have time! If we don't act now, whoever's responsible might get away!"

"Help him and we can get going."

Xena's eyes locked with Ares' in a contest of wills until Ares looked at the rocking shape on the ground. He bent down, placing a hand on Joxer's forehead. He closed his eyes and, all of a sudden, his mind was filled with voices.

"Watch out for the Sovereign! He's trying to..."

"Joxer, I left the supplies in the..."

"Oh, Joxer, I miss you so much..."

"Take care of my boy. He loves you so much..."

All was suddenly clear to Ares. He used his power to buffer the voices calling to Joxer. As the noise reduced gradually, Joxer's rocking slowed and he finally pulled his hands away from his ears. He took several deep breaths to calm his nerves.

"Ares, thank you."

"Don't thank me. Let's just go."

As Ares turned away, he was stopped by Xena's hand on his arm. "Give him a couple of minutes." He looked over and saw the little bard helping Joxer to his feet. He scowled at the warrior wannabe.

"Joxer, you really know nothing about your heritage, do you?" Joxer just shook his head. "Did you recognize any of the voices you heard?"

"Well, one kind of sounded like Callisto, and I could have sworn one of the others was Perdicus. But that's impossible."

"Just as impossible as the fact that the last one I heard was Zeus."

"But that's impossible. They're all..."

"Dead? I know. Back in the tavern, you heard something then too, didn't you."

Joxer shook his head wildly. "I'm not crazy, all right!"

Xena patted his arm in an effort to calm him down. "It's all right, Joxer. We don't think you're crazy."

"Yes you do. They always think we are. That's why we don't tell anyone about it."

"We?"

"Jett, Jace and I. They've tried locking us away before, but we won't let them. It's not like the voices try to hurt us, or that they try to make us do bad things. They don't. They're just there."

"It's ok, Joxer. We believe you."

"Xena," Gabrielle whispered, "what's wrong with him?"

"He's Hades' son." All three looked at Ares. "Those are the voices of the dead you heard."

"But that doesn't necessarily mean he's Hades' son." Gabrielle was having a hard enough time dealing with Joxer being a demi-God, but this was getting to be too much.

"You're right. But add that to the fact that Hades asked me to put the three triplets under my pctioction, and you'd come to the same conclusion."

They stood in silence several moments until Joxer spoke to Ares. "The voices were never this bad in our universe. Why are they so strong here?"

"All the voices you hear are addressed to you, are they not?" Joxer nodded. "Maybe here, your counterpart knows about his heritage and so do many others. When they cross over, they speak to him -- or in this case, you."

Joxer shivered. "I can't imagine being that close to Callisto."

"Remember, Joxer," Xena comforted, "she's not the same Callisto here."

"Oh, Ares!" A sing-song voice called out. The group turned around in time to see a pink-clad Discord run up to Ares and wrap her arms around his neck, kissing him to within half his life. "Where've you , lo, love? You haven't switched to the other side, have you?" She looked over Xena and Gabrielle with a speculative eye. "Well, at least you got them to dress better."

Spotting Joxer, she walked over and hugged him, copping a feel in the process. "Ooooh, Jacie, how you doin' studmuffin?"

"Jace? That's my brother. I'm Joxer."

The Goddess began giggling, shaking her barely-clad body in all the right places. "Oh, you're so silly Jace. We both know if you were Joxer I wouldn't dare go near you. Babe over there may be the God of Love, but few can match his temper when you mess with his playthings." She walked over to the fuming Ares and pinched his cheek. "Oh, you're soo possessive, aren't you babe."

Ares didn't know what was more humiliating: being mistaken for the God urveurve or the fact that Xena and Gabrielle were now nearly rolling around on the ground with laughter. He'd had enough. With one swift throw, Discord was pushed off him with one of his best fireballs.

Discord made it back to her feet and immediately began readjusting her cleavage. "All right, I may be a ditz, but I'm not that stupid. re'sre's Arry? Who are the rest of you? And why did you kill my Daddy?!"

The Goddess began crying, great sobs heaving her ample bosom. Joxer, ever the gentleman, went over to her, laying an arm on her shoulder, and took out an old handkerchief which he offered to her. She took the hankie and blew her nose, then handed it back to him.

"Thank you."

"Umm, my pleasure." He threw the hankie somewhere behind him.

"Discord," Ares used as much patience as he could muster to lower the level of his voice. "I'm Ares, but the God of War. We're from the other universe. We didn't kill Zeus, but we want to know who did."

Discord sighed. "Do I *look* like I'm Discord? I'm Eris!" She wrapped her arms around Joxer and snuggled into his chest. "Oh, Daddy!"

"There, there," Joxer patted her head. "We're here to help. Aren't we, Ares." Ares grumbled in response, crossing his arms across his chest.

"I just wish I knew where to start," the Goddess floundered.

"Well, we met up with some of Cupid's men on our side -- your Cupid, not ours. Maybe he had something to do with it?"

She looked up into his face with awe. "Wow, I didn't think of that. You're a genius!"

"Aww." The slight blush that crossed his face turned son son when he saw the looks the other three were giving him. "Umm, well, it's gonna be ok. Ares will fix it all."

She sniffed. "Oh, thank you Jacie -- I mean, Joxer."

Ares growled. "Enough of this nonsense. We've got a murderer to find."

Joxer reluctantly let go of the Goddess, however she didn't let go of him. "Umm, Eris, could you please let go?"

"Oh, all right. If I must, studmuffin." She let go of his waist with one final pinch to his behind.

"Eris, if you don't mind my asking, what are you Goddess of here?"

"I'm the Goddess of Love, silly? Who else could possibly look this good?"

"So, Ares, what do we do now?"

"We go to one of Cupid's temples. It's simple."

"What?!" The Goddess raised her voice for the first time. "Are you nuts? He's psycho! He'll blast you back to your elements faster than you can say hello!"

"Then what do you suggest?"

"Well, if we're going up against Cupid, we're going to need some help."

"Yeah, sure, we talk a few Gods into helping us. Whatever. Let's go."

"Hold on a second. We'll also need the help of a few mortals. Too many Gods and fly-boy will get suspicious."

"Who do you suggest."

"Well, first we'll go see an old friend of mine..."

~*~*~*~

The foursome looked around at the town Eris had brought them to. It looked just about the same as everyer ter town in Greece, except somehow it seemed more peaceful. Eris led them to a building that had a star drawn onto the door.

The Goddess walked through the door and into the small room that took up the entire front of the building. She made her way to solesole table and draped herself over it, somehow not surprising the girl who had been sitting there, writing in some scrolls.

"Tara, honey, how's things?"

"Hello Eris," the girl said, rolling her eyes. "I didn't think the Sheriff was expecting you."

"He isn't, Babe. We need his help."

"I thought he'd helped you out enough already."

"Hey, there's never too much you can do for the Goddess of Love, honey."

"Alright, but you may not want to disturb him. He's in his office with you-know-who."

"Ooh, awesome! I love those two. They give off such good vibes." Eris jumped off the table and started for the door that led further into the building. "Follow me."

As they walked into the room, they saw two figures laying on a long table in a passionate embrace. The man was dressed head to toe in black, and the woman appeared to have on a long pink gown and long brown hair. The figures jumped as they heard the Goddess of Love giggle.

"Hello boys."

Four jaws dropped as they were able to identify the two figures on the table.

"Eris! What are you doing here?"

"Well, we had a problem and I knew the only man who could help us was Sheriff Auto." Eris waved to the figure lying beneath Auto. "Hiya Jettsie. Glad to see you takin care of my boy."

"The pleasure is mine, my Goddess," the 'man' smiled at Eris, keeping a hand on Auto so as not to let him retreat. "Anyway, somebody's got to keep the Sheriff up to date on my brother's activities." He noticed the four people standing behind Eris. "Oh, hi Jace! It's about time you showed up -- Jox and I've been worried about you!"

Ares, Xena and Gabrielle jumped as they heard a thump and looked in time to see Joxer's head hit the floor. Ares rolled his eyes as the women bent down to make sure the warrior wannabe hadn't hurt himself. "Why did I ever let Hades talk me into bringing him?"

"Give him a break, Ares," Gabrielle said. "He's been through a lot today."

Xena began checking Joxer's head for injuries as Gabrielle moved to hold his hand so she could check his pulse. Just as she found the pulse-point, a pair of hands grabbed her from behind and pulled her away from her best friends.

"Hey! What's the big idea?"

"You are under arrest," the familiar voice of Autolycus began. "You are hereby charged with multiple murders from your service to the Sovereign. You have the right to remain silent. If you to to get away this time, you little bitch, I won't hesitate to kill you."

"Autolycus, what are you talking about? I never..."

"Auto," Eris said, placing a restraining hand on the Sheriff's arm, "she may look like her, but she isn't the Executioner. These four aren't from our universe."

"Is this another of your tricks, Eris?"

Eris placed a hand on Auto's cheek. "No, sweety, it isn't. Remember Joxie tellin' us about the guy he met that was just like Sov's Jester?" Auto nodded. "These four are from the same place he came from. This Ares, he's the God of War in their world. Xena and Gabrielle, they're heroines and warriors. And the mighty fainting s Jos Joxie, not Jace."

Autolycus reluctantly let go of the blonde. "You may not be her, but I'm telling you right now, I won't let you out of my sight."

"Oooooh, my head!"

Autolycus bent down to help Xena get Joxer back to his feet. As the man was getting his bearings, Ares laid a hand on Eris' shoulder and growled in her ear. "How's any of this supposed to help us?"

"Hold your britches, Ar. Auto?"

The Sheriff turned away from the others to face his Goddess. "Yes, Eris?"

"As I said, we need your help. We want to find out who killed Daddy."

"I symize,ize, I really do. But how can I help? I'm just a demi-God, and a Sheriff. I can't do anything about the Gods."

"But you could talk to your Dad and try to get him to help."

"Why would... Wait a minute. Do you suspect Cupid?" She nodded. "I don't like this, but if anyone knows, it would be him and Persephone."

"Persephone?" Joxer was confused. "What would the Goddess of Spring know about the God of War?"

"She's the Goddess of Discord here, Joxer. Just like my Dad, Hermes, is the God of Mischief."

Joxer couldn't hold it back any longer, so he laughed. "Oh, man! Things are sooo screwed up here!" After a few moments, Xena and Gabrielle joined in with him, and even Ares's mouth lifted in a parody of a smile. Things had been so tense since Zeus' death, they all needed the release.

"All right, all right, enough of that." The annoyed voice of the Goddess of Love was enough to put a stop to their laughter. "Do you want our help or what?"

Joxer hung his head. "I'm sorry."

Eris pouted at the look on his face and pulled him into a hug. "Oooh, it's okay, studmuffin. I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

Ares grimaced and turned to the Sheriff. "Can you call Hermes now? The more time we waste, the sooner whoever it is can get away with this."

"Of course." Aycusycus closed his eyes and concentrated a few seconds, then opened them in time to see the appearance of the God of Mischief. "Hello, father."

"Yo, Auto! Man, look at the crowd you've fallen into. I swear, those are some people I never thought I'd see together. Well, we all know Xena's a slut, so she I can understand, but blondie's all against Ares' thing."

Auto rolled his eyes. "Father, I don't have time to explain. I've got a few questions for you, all right?"

"Sure, kid. What's up?"

"There's no use lying, Dad. We know Cupid's the one responsible for Zeus' death. You can either help us or go down with the War God when we take him out."

"Auto! It's me, Dad. You know I'm not in on that kind of stuff. I couldn't kill another God if I tried."

"Dad."

"Hey, I'm the God of Mischief, not the God of thievnd and assassins."

Joxer giggled but stopped when Autolycus glared at him.

"Dad. Talk. Now."

"You know, you're real pushy, kid. All right, I'll tell you some of what I know, but I'm tellin ya now, not not part of it."

"Well, that's something Dad. I'm listening."

"Okay. You see, Cupe's been mad at Zeus for a long time. Now you didn't hear this from me, you hear? I overheard him and bondage-babe talkin 'bout how he was so much better suited to be King of the Gods, specially since he wouldn't have to marry his Ma to do it. He said somethin about getting Athena's help, which is totally whacked out. Why the God of War would need the help of the Harvest Goddess, I'll never know.

"Now he said something else. Just wait a moment. Oh, that's it. He was talkin 'bout Joxie again, same ole same ole, wants him and wants to get ridda Ares. No biggie. Hey," Hermes paused in his rant long enough to notice the deadly gleam in Ares' eyes. "What's with you, love-boy?"

"Cupid wants to get rid of Ares?"

"Like that's news."

"Is that all you remember?" the Sheriff asked.

"Yep. Hey, kid, have you been a good boy and started takin after your old man? It's about time someone brought ole Ar over to our side."

With a final wink to his son, Hermes disappeared as he had arrived.

"Well, that was informative," the Sheriff said.

"More than you know," Ares commented. "Now I know who was working against us on our side."

"Man," Joxer finally spoke up, "this is more than enough to give a guy a serious headache."

"I'll give you a headache."

"Ares!"

TBC...