Long Journey Home

They sat in silence for a while after that. Tommy had accepted intellectually that Jess was intimate with his counterpart, but to learn now that Jason, as Jess, had actually consummated that relationship took some time to get used to. His own image of making love to someone just didn’t quite jel with Jason in the ‘receiving’ role. Not that he knew what it had been like -- he didn’t want to know, because it was just too uncomfortable. After all, he still had not been intimate with either Kim or Kat; Tommy had only textbook knowledge, so to speak, but found to his embarrassment that he was starting to get aroused by the images Jason’s words evoked.
 
Trying to len ten the suddenly charged mood (and to get his hormones under control again!), Tommy fumbled for the backpack they’d brought.
 
"Hey, it’s almost time for lunch ...." It was a weak attempt at diversion, and he knew it, but Jason accepted the break from his memories eagerly. It was still strangely disconcerting to think about the time he’d been Jess. Although to an outsider, his situation as Jay should have been the strangest, he had felt more comfortable then than during the time before.
 
Tommy handed over fruit and sandwiches, and they shared sodas that were still reasonably cool. For a while, they sat and ate in silence; when they were finished, they wandered a bit farther, until they got to a slight promontory which was shaded by a large slab of stone and afforded them a magnificent view of the desert. They settled down again; both knew that thwerewere still things they had to address. After a while, Tommy was the one to give voice to his thoughts.
 
"Y’know ... when we first found out what was wrong with you ... it wasn’t so much having to deal with different incarnations of you. That actually felt more like an adventure; like the time Kim, Rocky and I were caught in that storybook." He cast a slightly teasing look at Jason. "It wasn’t even having to deal with Jess, or Jay, for that matter; usually they both managed to behave themselves. Jess better than Jay, though," he mused.
 
The ex-Gold Ranger managed a tiny smirk; Tommy in las last reality had told him that Jay was very affectionate, and the more demonstrative of the two. Considering the fact that Tommy had never hesitated to touch, or even kiss him in public, he could make a good guess at what Jay considered ‘normal’ behaviour around Tommy. Jason suppressed a sigh; he hadn’t expected to miss those easy exchanges so m now now that he’d gotten a taste of what it could be like between him and Tommy.
 
The Red Ranger continued, not noticing the momentary lapse of concentration in his friend.
 
"No, it was more the fact that nobody knew what had happened to you. We assumed that you were in those other dimensions, but we didn’t know. It was driving me nuts," Tommy confessed quietly. He didn’t look at Jason, as he gave voice to his greatest fear for the first time.
 
"I ... all I could think of was that you were gone, out of my reach, possibly forever. I almost couldn’t cope, I was so scared. I mean, all those times we were in danger, or when you went away ... either I could do something to help you, or I knew it would only take a little extra effort to get in touch with you."
 
Jason just put a comforting hand on the red-clad shoulder. It gave Tommy the courage to look at his best friend as he admitted the things he’d felt during Jason’s absence.
 
"I’ve never felt so afraid that I might lose you permanently except for the time when the Gold Power had messed you up so thoroughly. Jase ... I know how this is probably gonna sound, but I don’t care. I need you. Please ... don’t leave me, ever!"
 
Jason was stunned. He’d never expected anything like this from Tommy; he always seemed so self-sufficient. For a minute, he debated with himself if he could tell Tommy about his own feelings now, but knew that he ultimately had no choice. Especially not after Tommy had just laid his soul bare for him. He knew his friend -- admitting to actually needing someone had to have cost him. All he could do was offer his own honesty in return -- soon. He met the anxious brown eyes with a reassuring smile.
 
"Tommy, you know I can’t promise you that -- not the way things have been ever since we became Rangers. I can promise you one thing, though -- as long as it is within my power, I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. Barring emergencies, or accidents, I won’t leave you, either. Not if I can help it!" Tommy’s lean face lit up at that; it was the reassurance he’d been ng fng for, hoping that Jason would be able to understand and accept his need. Instinctively, he reached over for a brief hug, which Jason returned gladly. He just hoped that Tommy would be as understanding when it came to his own confession.
 
The two young men sat for a while, watching the plf lif light and shadow the wind-chased clouds made on the arid landscape below them. After some time, Tommy had control of his emotions once more.
 
"So....what happened when you were with Jay’s Tommy?" He knew that Jason’s tale wasn’t finished yet.
 
He was surprised ae sle slightly sardonic smile on Jason’s face.
 
"Well, when the switch happened, at first I thought I was already home." Jason recalled those first moments from two weeks ago. "I was back in my own body -- or so I thought; my room was the same, there were even my two old communicators where I always leave them. I went to Ernie’s, and the gang seemed normal, too ... the first inkling I had was when you came. It sort of cleared things up quite effectively."
 
"Why? What did I do?" Unconsciously, they’d given up on keeping track of their various alter egos; it was easier that way.
 
"You kissed me -- right there, at our table at the Juice Bar. In front of everybody."
 
Tommy gaped; his own experience with Jay had been embarrassing enough, but certainly nothing like this!
 
"Hooo boy ...! What did you do?"
 
Jason grinned, blushing slightly. "I bolted."
 
"You .... what?"
 
"I ran away. It just suddenly was too much. I’d already halfway convinced myself that I was home; to have the rug yanked out from under me like that was the last straw."
 
"I can imagine ...!"
 
"How did you find out about Jay?"
 
It was Tommy’s turn to colour up. He looked out into the desert as he told Jason about the incident.
 
"I was in the locker room at the Youth Center, taking a shower. When you came in, I knew Jess had gone on -- she usually showered at home; she said she felt just too uncomfortable." He couldn’t help the small, reminiscent smirk as another memory surfaced. "Man, the first time we ran into each other in the bathroom at school ... she nearly fainted with embarrassment. Later, she told me she would have died if there’d been anyone else but me in there."
 
"Yeah; at least she’d seen you naked before."
 
"What? Oh God, of course! I never thought of that ..." Tommy blushed as red as his shirt; he’d never made the connection before until Jason had just pointed it out to him.
 
"Man, all the trouble I went to not to get undressed after gym when she was there ...."
 
"...was totally wasted!", Jason laughed. "She’d already seen it all, and then some!" He enjoyed seeing Tommy squirm like that; it was the first time he could get in a little payback for all the teasing he’d endured after his return. Soon, though, both teens sobered again.
 
"So ... what happened with you and Jay in the showers?" Jason asked, a bit too casually in Tommy’s opinion. He wished he could better control the rush of blood to his face. Looking at his friend out of the corner of his eye, he mumbled,
 
"He ... he started washing my back." Tommy couldn’t go on; at first, he’d thought it funny, but when those warm hands had strayed from his back down to his posterior, he couldn’t believe how good it felt. To his embarrassment, it had taken him far longer than he cared to recall to step away from the sensuous glide of skin against skin.
 
Jason hid his smile. While he and Jay’s Companion had abstained till that last morning, they had shared a shower of sorts under the waterfall in the glade where he’d gotten his Ninjetti Powers. It had been a close call for both of them, and only the knowledge that they couldn’t risk a transfer before their return to Earth had enabled them to stop. By mutual agreement, they’d gone solo that time, as well ... later, in private. But he still remembered the feeling of pressing himself against the leanly muscular body while the water sluiced over both of them, adding its own caress.
 
"Did you deck him?" he asked curiously.
 
"No, but I came close."
 
Jason sensed that that was all Tommy was going to say on the subject. He waited for the Red Ranger to go on.
 
"I could hardly believe what he told us about their relationship; I mean, Society over there must have really changed."
 
"It sure has. But I have to tell you, bro -- it took some getting used to, but it was also damn refreshing. I mean, for once you could talk about things like that without being afraid that people might think you’re weird, or something."
 
"Yeah." Tommy paused for a moment, then looked at Jason, a twinkle in his eye. "Can you imagine what my father, or yours, for that matter, would have to say if we tried to live like Jay and Tommy?"
 
Jason sobered.
 
"Yes, I can. To be honest, though, if that was something I really wanted, or if I were gay or bisexual, I don’t think I would care. And I know that both my parents would ultimately support me, no matter what." This line of thought hit just a little too close to home for comfort right now.
 
"I guess you’re right. So would mine, if I could convince them it’s what I really wanted. Still, I can think of easier things to confess to my folks. Like, being a Ranger ... having lied to them about our activities for over three years ... that sort of thing, y’know?"
 
Both boys shared a brief laugh, which was not entirely carefree. John Scott and Brent Oliver both had repeatedly told their sons about the importance of honesty and straightforwardness. They’d had a good reason for disobeying, but still ...
 
Tommy recalled himself to their previous discussion. He had a feeling that there was yet more to Jason’s story than he’d already heard, and he was curious to know the rest.