Our Spot

Spot 28

Sara sat holding Gil’s hand.

After talking with the couple for forty minutes, Dr. Aleta Peprah looked up from her extensive notes.

She nearly laughed at the tension and fear etched across their faces. They had selected her because she known for common sense approach to therapy. They had no time for vague diagnosis. They needed clarity, answers, and a plan. Such was the case with most of her patients.

“Relax. I am not going to tell you not to get married.”

Gil face relaxed visibly. Dr. Peprah was surprised at how nice his eyes were. He was man treading in fear. He was afraid of losing Sara and his daughter despite Sara’s constant reassurance.

“Actually, you don’t have to postpone it if you don’t want to.”

Sara gripped Gil’s hands tighter. It was his turn to garner reassurances. He covered her hand with his as she whispered in his ear. “Legal sex.”

Dr. Peprah watched as she turned towards him and began to murmur something against his beard.

“Excuse me. It isn’t that kind of therapy. You two don’t seem to have any trouble in that department.” She said with a hint of mirth.

“Sorry” they said in unison.

“Do you want to know what I think?”

They nodded.

“For the most part, this is a healthy relationship especially considering both your pasts. You don’t seem to have any anger issues. You deal with difficulties in a calm, rational manner, and you are committed to your daughter and her happiness.”

She watched the couple before her visibly relax for the second time.

“That being said, your path into this relationship was a bit unconventional. You started out having what you believed was a purely sexual relationship. You then found out you were going to have a baby and in the middle of that you, Dr. Grissom gained two male relatives. That’s a lot of emotion for a man who’s used to controlling every circumstance of his environment.”

Gil leaned forward a bit. He’d never thought about it that way.

“You almost lost Sara, and you blamed yourself for that. In order to regain a bit of control, you have neglected to tell Sara some very important information. You do this for two reasons. There are the control issues and the fear that you will loose Sara. This had not caused as much damage that it could have because you and Sara were friends for so long. We just have to get you, Dr. Grissom, to a place where you aren’t afraid to be completely honest with Sara. Remember this woman has known you a long time. There is probably not much she doesn’t know about you.”

Gil shot a sheepish look at Sara.

“How do we do that?” Gil wanted to know.

The woman clicked her pen and removed her glasses. “You know my therapy is a bit unconventional.”

Gil nodded wondering what was coming next. Dr. Peprahtook out pink sheet of paper from a folder that rested near her hand on the table.

She handed the sheet to Sara.

“Homework?” Gil asked appreciating the orderliness of the process.

“Assignments for the next month. I’ll see you each week at the same time. Any questions?”

Gil and Sara both said no.

Dear Gil and Sara,

These are your assignments for the next four weeks. I know that you two are task oriented. I ask you not to focus on completing the tasks but on the process. Your homework serves two purposes.

First, it gives you the opportunity to observe other relationships, fictional though they are, with a thoroughness and detail that you might not be able to in real life. Second, it forces two doting parents to take time for yourselves. Meaningful time together is vital to the health of your relationship. A healthy relationship is vital to Claire’s emotional development. You two both know what damage is caused when a child is only exposed to dysfunctional or nonfunctioning relationships.

So, hire a babysitter for these date/homework nights.
Assignment Week One

Book: Their Eyes were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston
Movie: Their Eyes were Watching God staring Halle Berry

1. How did Janie end up in two less than satisfying marriages?
2. What was Teacakes greatest fears with regard to Janie?
3. How was Janie’s intuition affected by her two marriages?
4. Were you sad that Janie lost Teacake?


Sara looked up from the assignment.

“Is this too weird? I mean we are going to watch movies and read fiction as part of our therapy?”

Gil handed her a bowl of popcorn.

“I like it. It’s kind of like film appreciation class with a very cute tutor, and besides she’s right. We do need some alone time where we do more than have sex.”

Sara nodded. “It’s hard not become completely focused on Claire. Especially considering our pasts. We don’t want to make our parents mistakes. Even now I wanted to call Audrey and Nick to be sure she’s sleeping or eating or laughing.”

Neither discussed why they hadn’t taken Claire to Warrick and Catherine’s, which would have made since.

“Me too.” Gil admitted as he sat down next to her.


Dr. Peprah observed the couple. She could usually tell who was going to make it by observing how much they touched in a ten minute span. Sara had one hand on Gil’s knee. His arm was draped around the ancient brown couch in her office.

“So….”

Sara fought the urge to wave her hand in the air like she did when she was in grade school.

“I’ve never read anything by Zora Neale Hurston.” Sara admitted a little embarrassed.

“It’s okay. She only came to prominence in the last couple of decades. Kind of lost and found. You liked it?”

Sara nodded. “It was amazing.”

Dr. Peprah gave a gap toothed Ghanaian smile. “I thought you would. I try and tailor my reading selections and movies to the clients.”

Dr. Grissom was looking at Sara, mussing about her beauty.

“Dr. Grissom. You with us?” Dr. Peprahsaid gently.

“Sorry.” Red colored his skin under his olive complexion.

“You do that a lot?”

Gil frowned. “What?”

“Stare at Sara. Tune other people out.”

Gil wondered if this signaled some kind flaw in there relationship. “I…”

“There’s no right answer.”

“I don’t know.” Gil admitted. “Maybe.”

“Ms. Sidle?”

Sara shrugged. Embarrassed at Gil’s obvious adore. “Maybe. Sometimes.”

“Since you two met?” Dr. Peprah wanted to know. She watched Sara lean into Gil nearly resting her cheek on his shoulder. He said a couple of words that Dr. Peprah could not hear.

“Maybe.” Sara’s throaty voice came again.

“So you don’t know if you were being stared at, and you, Dr. Grissom, don’t know if you were staring?”

They looked at one another helplessly.

“Want to know what I think?” Dr. Peprah asked.

“Yes” They said together.

“I am positive that you have stared at her like that since you met. You were probably conscious enough of it not to do it at work Gil. Sara tried not to take the staring to heart because it sent her mixed signals. You were obviously attracted to her. She couldn’t figure out why you didn’t ask her out. She probably told herself that you were shy. When she finally got up enough nerve and it did take a lot of nerve, Dr. Grissom, you rejected her. It plays into your need to control things, Gil. You could stare. You could openly, openly for the two of you anyway, want her, AND you could make her act on the mutual attraction. You could stop her cold. One of the reasons you did this was because Sara made you feel completely out of control. She made you feel all the things you tried not to feel. She made you feel dumb and overtly sexual and reckless. Fair assessment?”

“Dead on,” Gil said.

Sara spoke into Gil’s shoulder. “It is?”

“How could you not know that? The minute we started sleeping together I started doing crazy things. The presents at work. Sitting outside of your apartment. Brass and Cath both had a sit down with me. Said I was out of control.”

“Oh,” Sara said.

“The day of the party I came prepared to be on my best behavior.”

Dr. Peprah listened to the back and forth for awhile. She never worried that any conflict between these two would get out of hand. They had given one another the permission to have their own thoughts and opinions.

“That brings me to another issue.”

They looked back at the woman, their bodies pressed together closer than before.

“Dr. Grissom. What was your overall impression of the story? I want your emotional reaction, preferably to Teacake.”

“He didn’t deserve Janie.” Gil said with conviction.

“Was that the actual state of the relationship, or what Teacake believed?”

Gil thought for a second. “It was the actual state. She was too good for him.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Honey, I can’t believe you said that. They were perfect for one another.”

“He was some rambling migrant worker, a good time charlie. She was the mayor’s wife. She was used to a better life.”

“That better life nearly killed her spirit. Teacake made life worth living again. Everyone else wanted to make her into something she was not. He just wanted her to be Janie.” Sara was gesturing with one hand now the other still on Gil’s knee.

Dr. Peprah slipped back into the conversation smoothly.

“So what is the actual state of your deservedness, Dr. Grissom? Do you deserve Sara?”

Sara was unbalanced by his quick response. “Of course not…” Gil stopped, wondering if he actually said it out loud. He laughed a little. “You are a wily one, Dr. Greer.”

She smiled knowingly. “When you watch any relational dynamic, one tends to identify with the players. I thought you would find a little affinity to Teacake. At one point, he says that he never wanted Janie to see anything common in him.”

Sara gasped. “You said that once.”

“I did?”

“Yes. When we first started talking about counseling. You said hadn’t told me because you didn’t want me to see anything common in you. I thought it was the strangest thing I had ever heard you say.”

Gil looked at her hand. It was still on his knee.

Sara tucked the perpetually errant curl behind one ear. She didn’t have time to straighten it now that she was a mother. “Common means ordinarily or the norm. You are anything but ordinary. Your whole life is extraordinary. Even Melanie and Catherine are out of the ordinary. A history professor that looks like a retired model and strippers come scientists. You don’t do common.”

“Why do you think you don’t deserve Sara, Gil?”

Again the promptness of his reply startled Sara. “She’s young and beautiful and smart. She could have anyone she wants. She is fun and lively, and I am old and difficult.”

“Stop it.” Sara said.

“It’s true, Sara. You could do a lot better than me.”

“Where? Who? You are a handsome, sexy, genius who is a wonderful father. Gil Grissom, you are my dream man. When I walked into that lecture hall in Boston, I thought I was dreaming. There he was. The guy I had dreamed about all my life.”

Gil looked at manicured fingernails. Sara had given him a manicure during the movie.

“Are you hearing her, Dr. Grissom?” Dr. Peprah asked gently.

“Yes. I hear her. I have made so many mistakes. I just don’t want her to wake up one day and realize that I am not the night in shining armor.”

“Interesting that you think a woman who has loved you for ten years would wake up to that.”

Sara gave a triumphant harrumphed.

Dr. Peprah raised a sleek brow. “You don’t trust yourself. Part of you doesn’t trust Sara because she must be nuts to love a guy like you. Her love for you seems to invalidate her somehow.”

Sara spoke softly. “It’s kind of insulting that you still think I am too young or stupid to know that I love you and that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I am going to be your wife, and you don’t trust me enough to share your past relationships because any sign that you had a life before me will make be bolt. Of course you had a life before me.”

“Honey, I don’t think you are stupid. I am sorry if I made you feel that way. I was trying to protect you, I guess.”

“You do that lot.”

“I do?”

“Yes. Sometimes I feel like my feet will never touch ground, especially since the fight. You won’t let me hold my own baby half the time. I didn’t know it, but I have waited all my life to hold my own baby. You won’t let me cook. You won’t let me clean the house. Gas appears in my car. My favorite foods appear in the refrigerator. I feel a bit useless.”

“Sorry. I was just trying to be helpful. It’s just you work full time. I don’t. I wanted to do my part.”

Dr. Peprah snapped her notebook shut. “Are you comfortable with any of the things Gil does for you?”

Sara gave her a lethal look. Dr. Peprah returned her own serene gaze. Dr. Peprah was wily one.

“No. I guess not. I am not used to depending on someone else.”

“Did Janie have that problem?”

Sara shook her head. “She kind of folded under all the pressure. She just went from man to man waiting for them to save her.”

“And Teacake?”

“She didn’t need him. She had her own money. She knew how to take care of herself.”

“So that made the relationship ideal in your mind? That she was financially independent and appeared not to need him?”

Gil gave Sara a smug look.

She narrowed her eyes at him playfully.

“I get your point.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. I have control issues too.”

“Interesting that you say Janie folded under the pressure. It was the beginning of the century. She married one man who was comfortable and another who was more prosperous. She was a Black woman in the South. She didn’t have very much education. She did have her beauty and her mother wit. She did the best she could under the circumstances. When she had the opportunity to have a different kind of love, she didn’t run away.”

Sara blanched a little as she thought of the fight she and Catherine had once. She’d accused the woman of trading on her sexuality. “I never thought of it like that. I guess I tend to judge other women by my own circumstances and abilities. If I was different kind of woman, one known for my looks, maybe I would use it too.”

It was Gil’s turned to roll his eyes. “I can’t believe you just said that. You showed up at the lab and I had to review the sexual harassment policy with Greg, Nick, AND Warrick almost every month for the first year.”

Sara waved her left hand. The large engagement ring glinted in the light. “They don’t count.”

Dr. Peprah spoke again. “They don’t count? What’s wrong with them?”

Sara immediately jumped to the defense of her friends. “Nothing. They are all great guys. Smart, funny, kind.”

“Sounds like you might have a little bit of what Dr. Grissom has. If they were ever attracted, you then thought something must be wrong.”

Sara let out a low “ah”.

The rest of the session went much the same way as Dr. Peprah helped them process what they had learned

Twenty minutes later, Sara and Gil were in Sara’s small SUV. Gil drove while Sara read their next assignment out loud.