The Long, Lonely Road Ahead

The following events take place after Hotch’s divorce but prior to JJ’s giving birth.

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The Long, Lonely Road Ahead

Chapter Twenty-Seven

When I awakened the next morning, Aaron was already up and showered.
“I turned off the alarm before it went off,” he said. “I didn’t want to wake you.”
“Mmmmm, what time is it?” I asked. I tried to stretch but was hampered by the handcuffs. “Look, I’m still here!” He laughed.
“It’s about 7:30,” he said, undoing the cuffs and putting them back on his dresser. “And yes, you are still here.”
“And we had sex too. So there isn’t as high a correlation between our having sex and my leaving as you’d like to believe,” I said, stretching properly. He had a towel wrapped around his waist; his hair was still damp. He stepped back into the bathroom to put on his deodorant. “I have to pee.”
“Let me just step out,” he said. “Don’t…”
“… Close the door, I know, I know,” I said, pulling down my panties and sitting on the toilet. “This is silly. I refuse to leave the door open when I have to… uh…”
“I suppose I could let you have a bit more privacy,” he said, obviously a bit uncomfortable. I guess he hadn’t thought that far.
“Good, thanks,” I said, finishing up and washing my hands. I left my panties off and looked at my neck in the bathroom mirror. Yikes. You could see every detail of Darrel’s fingers in dark purple around my throat. “I want to take another shower.”
“You took one less than seven hours ago,” he said, holding a pair of boxers in one hand.
“I still feel dirty,” I said. “Hmmmm… maybe that’s not outside…” I walked over to him and pulled his towel off.
“Hey!”
“Yep, definitely feel a bit dirty,” I said with a smirk. I dropped to my knees in front of him. “Mmmmmm… you look delicious.”
“Terra…”
“Your mouth says no, but every other part of you seems to think this is just fine,” I said before taking him into my mouth. He just groaned and wrapped his hands in my hair. I fellated him thoroughly for a few minutes before he pulled me away from him, and hauled me to my feet. He pushed me down on the bed, and was inside me before I could blink. “Oh yeah… Aaron, that’s amazing… Oh god yes…” He was almost frantic, I’d revved his engine so much by going down on him. His hips pumped wildly, thrusting him into me again and again, and I just wrapped my legs around his waist and went along for the ride.
“I can’t believe what you do to me,” he said when it was over. He was breathing heavily, laying next to me on the bed. “I was never like this before. Never.”
“What? Insatiable? I find that hard to believe,” I said, my hand on his stomach. I loved feeling his breathing slow as he calmed down.
“You’ve made my life so incredibly complicated,” he said with a sigh. He sat up. I rolled off the bed and headed for the shower.
“Complicated isn’t a bad thing. It is what it is,” I said from the bathroom. He came inside with me to wash up again. He splashed some cold water on his heated face as I stepped into the shower.
“I don’t know how to find a balance between my work and my personal life at the best of times. And now you’re here, and you are my work and my personal life, and that can’t be good,” he said, leaning against the bathroom counter. I peeked outside the shower at him.
“It is what it is,” I repeated. “We either find a way to deal, or we don’t. If we do, we can continue this, at least for a while longer. If we don’t, then we don’t and it’s over. Which do you want?”
“Obviously I want it to continue,” he said, heading back out into the bedroom. “I just don’t know if it’s possible.”

I finished my shower, drying off and blow drying my hair. I applied deodorant, brushed my teeth, did all the things one needs to do in the morning, and then headed into the bedroom to get dressed. Aaron was sitting in the chair by the window, fully dressed for work.
“Get dressed in something a bit more… formal, conservative. We have to meet with the DA today,” he said.
“Hmmmm… conservative.” I rummaged through the clothing I’d brought and finally came up with a pair of black slacks and a white button down blouse, with a grey dress vest. “How’s this?”
“Perfect,” he said. “I had no idea you had clothing like this.”
“I did work at a college for a while. I had to interview in something. I brought it just in case something came up and I needed to meet with a potential employer,” I said, pulling on my panties and doing up my bra. “I know life isn’t all jeans and t-shirts.”
“It’s kind of sexy seeing you look all professional like this,” he said, getting up and wrapping his arms around me. He kissed the back of my neck.
“Hey, you’ll wrinkle me!” I pulled away from his embrace. “I just wish I had a scarf or something to cover these bruises.”
“Don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t cover them. It’ll have more of an impact on the DA if he can see them,” he said, straightening his tie. He put his cuffs under his suit jacket, attached to his belt. He checked his Blackberry and then looked up at me. “They’re pretty awful looking.”
“I know,” I said, touching my throat. I pulled my hair into a chignon and put it up with a few hairpins. “There. Now all I need is coffee.”
“That I can do,” he said, gesturing me down the stairs. “I put the coffee on while you were in the shower.”
“I thought you weren’t going to leave my side,” I said, helping myself to coffee and adding cream and sugar.
“You were in the shower. I decided to take the risk,” he said, pouring himself a mug of coffee, black.
“And here I am,” I said, kissing him on the mouth. “I didn’t run away.”
“You were in the shower.”
“I was. Does that mean I couldn’t have found a way to leave?”
“I suppose not.”
“Well then.”
“I’m glad you’re still here,” he said, kissing me back.
“It’s not just me, is it?” I said, sitting down at the kitchen table.
“What isn’t?” He sat down across from me and sipped his coffee.
“You don’t like it when people leave you alone, do you?”
“I’m not sure…”
“You do know what I’m talking about. People have left you… people you care about,” I said, looking at him closely. “You’ve been hurt before like that, haven’t you?” He sighed.
“I… Hayley was seeing another man before she left me, yes,” he said. “I didn’t want to believe it, but it didn’t really surprise me either. I was never home.”
“And Gideon left, didn’t he? Pen told me he just walked away one day, no real explanation,” I said.
“Yes, but I understood why they left.” He shook his head. “When you ran out, it reflected on me professionally.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I said softly. “I wasn’t really thinking about how it might affect you.”
“I realize that,” he said. He finished his coffee. “Drink up. We’ve got to get going.”

We arrived at the BAU just as the rest of the team was getting in to work. I sighed. Another day of interrogation. Aaron left me with Reid and Pen, and headed for his office, closing the door behind him.
“Wow, you look nice,” Reid said to me.
“Uh, thanks,” I said.
“Why so formal?” Pen asked.
“I think we’re meeting with the DA today,” I said.
“Scary,” Reid agreed. “What does Hotch think he can do for you?”
“Make a deal. I’ve got a lot of information in this brain of mine,” I said, pointing to my head.
“Coffee,” Pen said. “Now.” We headed to the kitchenette for coffee. She poured me a mug.
“Got anything to eat? We didn’t have breakfast,” I said.
“I could probably scrounge up a bagel or something,” she said. She turned to Reid. “Watch her. She’s slippery.”
“Uh…” Reid said, as Pen hurried out of the bullpen.
“I’m not that bad,” I said.
“Oh yes you are,” Morgan said, coming up behind me. He poured himself a cup of coffee. “You are exactly that bad.”
“You’re just saying that because I got the jump on you,” I said, sipping my coffee.
“No, I’m saying that because you managed to get into a paramilitary compound and shoot a man in his own apartment,” Morgan said, his expression frank.
“Well. I have no reply to that,” I said and Reid laughed.
“What’s so funny?” Prentiss asked, coming in for coffee too.
“Nothing really,” Reid said.
“You look nice today,” Prentiss said to me.
“I look like a secretary or something,” I said with a shrug.
“Apparently the correct response is thank you,” Reid told me, as if in confidence.
“Thank you,” I said and Prentiss laughed.
“She’s meeting with the DA today,” Reid told Prentiss.
“Ah. Makes sense,” she said, sipping her coffee. “Except it’s December 31 today. All government offices are on a half-day schedule.”
“Including us,” Morgan said with a smile. “So we’ve got a lot of paperwork to do before it’s time to leave.”
“True,” Reid said, heading back to his desk.
“I’ll see you later,” Prentiss said to me, leaving me alone in the kitchenette.

I stood there for a moment, wondering why none of them thought to keep an eye on me. I could just walk right out and no one would notice. After all, I was dressed in professional drag today. I looked like any other office worker. I stood, leaning against the counter, and drank my coffee. Then I headed up to the conference room, which was sitting empty. I turned on the lights and sat at the table, drinking my coffee, waiting for something to happen. Waiting for Aaron to get off the phone and take me to the DA’s office. Waiting for Pen to get back with something for me to eat. Waiting for anything.

One hour later, Aaron strode into the conference room.
“Terra! There you are! Thank God!” he said. He looked at me like I’d been hiding from him deliberately.
“I was just sitting here,” I said. “Pen said she’d get me something to eat but then she disappeared and everyone else had paperwork to do, so I just… found somewhere to keep out of the way.”
“I thought you’d walked out,” he said, shaking his head.
“I didn’t, did I?” I said. “I could have. No one was watching me. But I’m still here. If that doesn’t prove to you that I’m not going to leave again, I’m not sure what will.”
“You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you before,” he said, holding out his hand to me. “We’ve got to go. It’s a half day today and the DA has time to see us before he leaves for a meeting.”
“Cool,” I replied, taking his hand. He closed the door to the conference room and looked at me for a moment. “What?”
“I don’t know how this is going to turn out, Terra. I just want you to know that I’m going to do everything I can to help you,” he said seriously.
“I know that, Aaron. I… I trust you.” I looked up at him; his eyes softened at my words.
“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “I can’t appear partisan. I need you to understand that.”
“I do. You and I shouldn’t be involved. It’s not professional. I get that.”
“Good. It doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
“I know that too.” I shook my head. “See? Trust. Now let’s go.”

The DA was a small man, much smaller than either of us, but he had this aura of power about him that I found interesting. He’d been elected to this position and it was obvious that his presence, not his stature, won him votes.
“Aaron,” he said, shaking Aaron’s hand. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Aaron said. “This is Terra Wintersmith.”
“Ah. The young lady that’s been causing all the trouble.” He gestured to a couple of leather chairs in front of his huge desk. “Sit down.” We sat. “Now, tell me again what you want from me.”
“A deal, Sir.” And Aaron launched into his argument. He told the DA I had a lot of information about many of the paramilitary groups around the country and that I would share this information with the DA’s office as long as I was protected from prosecution on any of the charges against me. He filled him in on my history, being as specific as possible where he could. He essentially profiled me to the DA in front of me and it had me almost squirming in my seat. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt so uncomfortable. “And as if that weren’t enough,” Aaron said, wrapping up what I’d told him about the Blackhawk Militia, “she helped us with the hostage crisis that occurred here just last week. The man holding the hostages was a former boyfriend of her mother’s from the Militia. Terra managed to help free the hostages, but it almost cost her life.” He turned to me. “Show him the bruises, Terra.” I opened the neck of my blouse and showed the DA my throat and the black-purple bruises in the shape of Darrel’s fingers. “The man’s name was Darrel Hollowfield and he was in the process of strangling Ms. Wintersmith when I managed to intercept him and end the threat he posed to her.”
“You mean you killed him,” the DA said.
“Yes. I did. It was a clean shoot,” Aaron said.
“Well, this is all very, very interesting. As of now, the only charges being brought against Ms. Wintersmith are those by the owner of the Jeep. When she pulled him out of his car and threw him on the street, he sustained minor injuries. He lost his car and was humiliated by her, and he wants revenge is my guess. He calls it justice. We’ve looked into some of the other information you’ve given us. His jeep did have OnStar, so we were able to track it to the repair shop you mentioned. There were, in fact, a number of illegal activities taking place there and we made a number of arrests. We also recovered the Jeep, so it’s very possible we can convince the owner to drop the charges.” He paused and reviewed his files. “Oh, and assaulting a police officer. I can’t make that one go away quite so easily.” He smiled at us. “But I think there’s a lot we can do for you, Ms. Wintersmith. My assistant is going to draw up a list of questions and subjects for you. If you can help us answer those questions, or provide information on the subjects, then you’ve got your deal.”
“I can do that,” I said before Aaron could speak.
“I understand Agent Hotchner has you in protective custody at an undisclosed location,” the DA said, standing up.
“I do,” Aaron said.
“Good. Keep her safe. I’ll send you the papers January 2nd. My office is closed tomorrow for the holiday.” He shook Aaron’s hand and then shook mine. “Nice doing business with you both.”
“Thank you, Sir,” I said as we were shown out of his office. He nodded benignly and shut the door behind us. Aaron looked at his watch.
“I’ve got to get back to the office for a bit. You can either come back with me and wait, or I can drop you off at home and you can wait there under the watchful eye of DC’s finest.”
“Uh… I’d love to hang around with Pen for a bit. Could I do that?” I asked as we walked out of the office building.
“I think that could be arranged,” he said, ushering me into his car.

I sat down in Pen’s computer lab and watched her work for a bit.
“This is amazing,” I told her. “You’ve got some amazing firepower here.”
“I know,” she said, typing away like crazy. Information was flooding her screen at a rate I couldn’t even fathom. “So, I guess you won’t be able to go anywhere tonight.”
“No, I’m kind of stuck with an inside New Year’s Eve tonight,” I said. “No dressing up, no romantic dancing or glasses of champagne. I guess you’re going out with Kevin?”
“Yeah,” she said, turning towards me. “We got tickets to this really amazing party at the Blue Ballroom. It’s only the hottest ballroom dance club in DC! Ballroom is really in these days,” she said. “I’ve got the most amazing dress to wear.”
“I’m happy for you,” I said with a grin.
“Yeah, well, it would’ve been nice to have you go with us, but nooooo, this whole Militia thing had to rear it’s butt-ugly head.”
“Yeah, well, it was bound to do it sooner or later. Who would’ve guessed Darrel would come all the way here to take hostages and that I’d be among them?”
“It was an odd coincidence, wasn’t it?” she mused. “I wonder if it was anything more than coincidence?” She began to type faster.
“How the hell would you check that?” I asked, peering at a screen that made no sense to me. “Watch and learn, my dear, watch and learn,” she said. And for the next half an hour, I did just that. I sipped coffee as Pen whirled around the room, pictures printing and information churning out of her computers. She talked to me a bit while she did it, but almost none of it made sense to me. The phone rang at least six times while she worked, and she managed to put through requests for the team and several other people while she was searching out information for me. Amazing woman.

Finally, she seemed satisfied with what she’d found and she paused in her mad pursuit of knowledge.
“I think I’ve got it,” she said. “It looks like it wasn’t such a crazy coincidence after all. I’ve got a record here of purchases made by Darrel Hollowfield using his credit card, that show he was watching you. He followed you here, Terra.” She looked both triumphant and aghast.
“He followed me.” I put my empty coffee mug on a side table. She immediately picked it up and moved it further away from her computers.
“Yep, that’s what it looks like. We should probably let Hotch know about this,” she said, placing all the data she’d found in a file folder. Then she looked at her watch. “Hmmmm… let’s have some lunch first. The cafeteria downstairs is open until 1 today and it’s about noon now, so we’ll have to hurry.”
“I never managed to get any breakfast,” I told her as we left her office.
“Oh, damn! Right! I was going to get you a bagel,” she said. “Let me just drop this off with Hotch and then we’ll go for lunch. Wait here.”
“Sure,” I said, as she bustled off towards Aaron’s office. The door was open but I couldn’t see into it from where I was standing. I waited at the edge of the bullpen as she knocked, went in, and then came out a moment later without the file folder.
“All done. Let’s go!” she said, taking my arm and leading me to the elevators.
“Uh, is this okay with Aaron?” I asked, looking back at his office.
“He asked me to take you to lunch, but said that we couldn’t leave the building. Hence, the cafeteria, which isn’t haute cuisine, but will have to do,” she said, punching a button once we were in the elevator. “He’s got some work to do that can’t wait. And we get more time together!”
“Sounds good to me!” I grinned at her. “Let’s go have lunch!”