Footman in Training

I have a tumblr thing now! http://footmanintraining.tumblr.com/ And there’s some NSFW art created since the last update. http://footmanintraining.tumblr.com/post/144370174518/thomas-barrow-and-my-ocs-3-3-3 FYI it took me longer to update because I threw out the first attempt at this chapter. In the trash, total garbage. Take two! Less garbage? Hopefully ________________ Price pushed through the doorway from the servant’s stairwell into the great hall to find Thomas waiting for him just outside. “Just a second, David,” Thomas said, putting out his arm. “These hors d'oeuvres are hot,” Price said, holding out his tray as proof. “The kitchen staff will flog me if I deliver them cold.” “Then let me accompany you.” Thomas followed as Price walked through the hall. “I thought you said he preferred to dress himself.” “Lord Pembroke? He always did. Why?” “Well I guess he’s changed his tune. Mr. Carson’s asked me to tend to him during his stay.” “Don’t you prefer it that way over Mr. Carson assigning me that duty?” “Neither of us should have to, you told me he didn’t require a man to help him.” Price stopped and turned to Thomas. “Not like I can predict his every move.” Thomas smiled coyly. “I bet he asked because he hoped you’d be assigned to help him.” “Probably,” Price said, returning Thomas’s smile, “but that’s why I asked Eric to entertain him. I know you’re not exactly elated that you have to help him, but let’s both be thankful it’s not me.” “Why? Are you worried he’ll make a proposition, and you won’t be able to say no?” Price resumed walking toward the dining room. “I’d say no, of course, but I don’t want to have to say it in the first place. He’s the most determined man I’ve ever met, and if he’s still determined to have me, well, it’ll be a challenge to get away once he gets me alone.” “You certainly think highly of yourself, assuming he’s still pining for you after all this time.” Price stopped one last time before reaching the dining room. “No, not pining the whole time. But I know how he is. In fact,” Price said, patting Thomas’s chest. “You may want to watch yourself. You’re a handsome and seemingly eligible bachelor, and he’ll have to all to himself. Don’t let Lord Adonis woo you, too.” Thomas rolled his eyes. “Enough. Get in there before your hors d'oeuvres cool off.” “Or before you warm up too much thinking about him?” “It takes more than just a pretty face to warm me up.” “I’ll take that as a compliment,” Price said as Thomas held the dining room door for him. During dinner service, Thomas tried to keep his chin in the air and his eyes high, but he couldn’t resist watching the activity at the end of the table. Eric and Lord Pembroke sat on either side of Lady Edith, and all three were engaged in conversation throughout the meal. Lord Pembroke’s blonde hair was parted a bit to the side but otherwise barely styled, falling over his forehead, half-covering one eye. It was light and feathery, moving whenever he did, and for reasons Thomas couldn’t explain, it irritated him immensely. Everything else about him, though, was carefully styled. His tuxedo fit him perfectly, his collar was crisp, his shoes were shined, and even his cufflinks and ring were coordinated, made from matching metal and stone. Clearly he wasn’t struggling to dress himself without a valet, Thomas thought, though a little pomade wouldn’t hurt. Toward the end of the meal, Lady Edith stayed relatively quiet while Lord Pembroke and Eric talked and laughed across her. Price had asked Eric to keep Lord Pembroke occupied, but it didn’t look like much of a chore for Eric from where Thomas was standing. Thomas shoveled his food into his mouth during supper, a bit anxious to spend time face to face with Lord Pembroke. It was still intimidating that he had loved Price, regardless of Price’s feelings, or lack of feelings, in return. Bells rang on the wall, and Thomas wiped his lips with his napkin and rose with the others. Price followed Thomas to the gallery and pulled him aside in the corridor. “One quick thing before you go in there.” “Do make it quick, these hallways are busy this time of night and you don’t have a good excuse to be up here.” “I just wanted to apologize for toying with you. I knew full well you’d be jealous. I’m still hurting over Eric, as much as I try to put it behind me, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry you have to dress Teddy while he’s here. I hope you’re not too uncomfortable with the idea.” Thomas held Price’s cheek briefly, despite his own warning that the halls were often busy. “As I’ve said before, you and I are much alike. I understand the impulse to act that way. Though I’d be more comfortable with the whole thing if I had a better idea of what he meant to you.” “He doesn’t mean anything.” “Not now. Then.” Price looked at the painting on the wall beside him instead of Thomas. “He was good to me, and… and the first tender lover I ever had. He worshipped the ground I walked on, despite my being nothing more than a hallboy. He doesn’t care about things like that. For all his kindness, though, I could never believe him when he said he loved me. I put him off because it’s hard for me to say no to him, and I didn’t want to lead him on.” “Tender, hmm?” Price met Thomas’s eyes. “Very, actually. I never believed I was worthy of that kind of treatment before him.” “So why never mention him before?” Price was quiet as a hallboy passed by them, waiting to speak again until the young man was gone. “Have I ever mentioned any former lover by name? Or have you? It’s just not a topic we’ve really ever broached.” Thomas ran through his memories, and none of them included sharing any names on either of their parts. “Maybe we should. It feels like secrets are being kept.” “Alright, we can do that after the busy New Year is over. Before you go, does this mean you accept my apology?” “I do,” Thomas said, risking one more stroke of Price’s cheek before they parted ways. Lord Pembroke was just untying his bowtie when Thomas came to the door. He let Thomas in, then gave him an apologetic smile. “I have to admit, I’m a bit embarrassed. I don’t like anyone to waste time doing something for me that I could do for myself, but Lord Grantham insisted. I didn’t feel like I could say no.” Thomas was caught off guard by the shy look in Lord Pembroke’s eye and the timid smile on his lips. “Well most men of your status have a valet, even if they don’t bring one when they stay. His Lordship probably thought you were just being polite by declining his offer.” “Probably,” Lord Pembroke replied. He resumed untying his bowtie. “Well you can say you helped me, but I don’t want to take up any more of your time than I already have.” “Or you could let me help you,” Thomas said, approaching Lord Pembroke. “Those are my orders, anyhow, and it’s my duty to follow them.” Lord Pembroke looked Thomas over the same way he had when he first arrived. “If you insist.” Thomas stepped closer, and Lord Pembroke dropped his hands to his sides. Thomas took over, untying the knot in Lord Pembroke’s tie. They were just about the same height, and Thomas couldn’t pretend to ignore Lord Pembroke’s eyes on his just a few inches away. He looked up from Lord Pembroke’s throat briefly as he pulled the silk tie from his collar. “Why don’t you have a valet, if I may ask?” “I suppose it's always felt too personal a position to fill with just anybody.” Thomas stepped behind Lord Pembroke and eased his jacket off of his shoulders. “Isn’t that what interviews are for?” Lord Pembroke laughed and looked over his shoulder at Thomas as he removed his own waistcoat. “Everyone’s on their best behavior in an interview. You’re hardly able to tell much about who they really are.” Lord Pembroke tossed his waistcoat to Thomas, following Thomas’s eyes as he hung the waistcoat and jacket and returned to unbutton his shirt. “If I found a worthy travel companion, maybe.” “Do you travel often?” “As often as I can. And do you have to help guests often? Or am I the rare bird who shows up alone?” “You’re not so rare,” Thomas said, taking Lord Pembroke’s cufflinks, placing them in a tray on the dresser beside him. “I don’t mind helping. I’m a trained valet, and it doesn’t hurt to practice those skills now and then.” Lord Pembroke pulled down his braces, then shrugged off his shirt and handed it to Thomas. “Impressive. An under-butler and a valet. They’re lucky to have you here.” Thomas smiled as he hung up Lord Pembroke’s shirt. “I was trained for both positions at Downton, so I suppose I’m the lucky one to be here.” “Don’t be so humble,” Lord Pembroke said as he took off his undershirt. “Many men would kill for someone like you.” Thomas couldn’t stop his eyes from wandering. He realized his mouth was slightly open and closed it, then took Lord Pembroke’s undershirt from his outstretched hand. “What’s your name?” “Oh, it’s Barrow, my Lord.” “No, I know that,” Lord Pembroke said, unbuttoning his trousers. “Your first name.” “It’s Thomas. Why do you ask?” “Curiosity.” As Lord Pembroke slipped his trousers over his hips, Thomas averted his eyes quickly and eyed Lord Pembroke’s luggage instead. “Did you already unpack,” Thomas asked, looking away again as he caught Lord Pembroke’s reflection in the mirror. Lord Pembroke held his trousers out to Thomas. “Yes. Sloppily, I’m sure. I tend to myself, but I never said I did a good job of it.” Thomas accepted the trousers while looking at the dresser. “Where did you put your pajamas.” “I only wear bottoms. They’re in the top drawer.” Thomas hung Lord Pembroke’s trousers, found a pair of poorly folded pajama bottoms in the drawer, then turned back to find Lord Pembroke had removed everything else below the waist himself. Thomas looked at the ground and handed over the bottoms. “Thank you,” Lord Pembroke said as he stepped into his pajamas. “It was a mess in that drawer, wasn’t it? Am I hopeless?” “Well, you’d never get a job as a valet, I can assure you that much.” Lord Pembroke laughed and stepped toward the dresser. He opened a silver case sitting on top and removed a cigarette. He put it between his lips and flicked his lighter twice, but it didn’t spark. Thomas took his lighter from his pocket and flicked it, a blue and yellow flame lighting instantly. “See? I said they were lucky to have you.” Rather than taking the lighter, Lord Pembroke leaned forward so that Thomas could light his cigarette. He inhaled until the end was red and smoldering. “Did you travel often when you were a valet?” “Not often,” Thomas said as he put his lighter away. “I did get to go to America once.” “One of my favorite places. What did you think?” “I thought a lot of things. Mostly how informal everything was compared to life here.” “I know, isn’t it? That’s probably why it’s one of my favorite places. Do you want one?” Lord Pembroke asked, holding out his cigarette case. Thomas put his hand up. “I have plenty of my own. Rolled a dozen this morning.” “Ah, but you don’t have one of these,” Lord Pembroke replied, holding a cigarette out to Thomas. “Where’s that lighter?” Thomas took the lighter from his pocket, and Lord Pembroke plucked it from his fingers. He lit it and held it out. Thomas put the cigarette between his lips, and Lord Pembroke smiled and held the lighter to the end of it. Thomas inhaled, held it in for a moment, then exhaled slowly. “I’m sure his Lordship wasn't imagining me standing here taking your cigarettes when he assigned me to you.” “You didn’t take it, I was the one who insisted. What do you think?” Thomas took a long drag again, then inspected the cigarette as he exhaled. “It’s far superior to anything I typically smoke.” “Then you have to take some. Help yourself, I have plenty more where these came from,” Lord Pembroke insisted, holding his case out to Thomas. As Thomas took the case, his fingers brushed Lord Pembroke’s, and he suddenly remembered that the body before him, covered only by a pair of pajama bottoms, was a body Price knew intimately. The fingers that brushed over his had likely touched Price in all the same ways he had, maybe ways he hadn’t even had a chance to experience. The blue eyes peeking out from under blonde hair had taken in every bit of Price’s skin, and his lips knew how Price tasted. None of those facts upset Thomas, however, and he was surprised by his own lack of jealousy or resentment. Lord Pembroke took note of Thomas’s pause before accepting the case. “I won’t tell Lord Grantham I gave you any, if you’re worried about that.” Thomas put the cigarette between his lips and opened the case in one hand, retrieving his case from his jacket with the other. Lord Pembroke transferred half of his cigarettes to Thomas’s case, then took back his own. “Thank you,” Thomas said, his cigarette still between his lips. “And thank you for your help.” It felt like an obvious note on which to say goodnight, but Thomas didn’t feel the urge to go. Something about Lord Pembroke made him feel comfortable. He wanted to stay and smoke and chat some more. He realized he had been staring into Lord Pembroke’s eyes too long after the thank-yous were exchanged, and looked past him to the door. “Is there anything else I can help you with before I go, my Lord?” “Help me by not calling me ‘my Lord’ if it’s just us two.” “That’s against the rules,” Thomas said with a smile. “Well the door’s closed,” Lord Pembroke said, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “Who would know but me and you?” “In that case, what should I call you?” Lord Pembroke took a drag and smiled. “You can call me Ted. And what do you prefer? Tom? Tommy?” “Never Tommy,” Thomas said, pointing his cigarette at Lord Pembroke. “I go by Thomas, even to those who know me well.” Lord Pembroke ran his thumb across his bottom lip and took a step toward Thomas. He took another drag and said while exhaling, “maybe I could be one of those people who knows you well.” Thomas eyed the door again. “You just met me, what makes you want to get to know me?” Lord Pembroke set his eyes on at Thomas’s lips. “Hell, I wanted to get to know you the second you opened my car door.” He stepped forward again until his bare torso nearly touched Thomas’s livery. “I have a confession,” he whispered, meeting Thomas’s eyes again. “When Lord Grantham offered, I asked specifically for you to be my man.” Thomas swallowed, then laughed nervously. “Well, you see… I’m already somebody’s man.” Lord Pembroke’s shoulders slumped, but he didn’t back away. “So I was right in picking up the signs, but I should have figured you were already spoken for. Why on earth would someone so perfect be perfectly available?” “I’m not perfect,” Thomas said with another nervous laugh. “In our brief interaction, I’ve gathered that you’re intelligent, witty, charming, sophisticated yet unpretentious, and gorgeous. If I could put in an order for perfection, those would be my requests.” Thomas pressed his lips together to avoid laughing again. “I’d rattle off a list like that about you, except I truly am taken, and he wouldn’t appreciate my doing so.” Lord Pembroke took another drag. “And yet,” he said after exhaling through his nose, “you haven’t walked to that door you keep eyeing. Why might that be, I wonder?” Thomas's eyes darted between Lord Pembroke’s eyes and lips, and then he took a step back. “Thank you again for the cigarettes,” he said, patting the case in his jacket. He put his cigarette out in the ashtray on the dresser, then stepped past Lord Pembroke and went to the door. “What time should I be back in the morning?” “Make things simple. Stay, and then you’ll already be here in the morning.” “Nine o’clock or so?” “Alright, go,” Lord Pembroke said with a grin. He put his cigarette out as well. “But before you do, can you give me that list you’d rattle off if you weren’t already taken? I’ll never tell your darling you said a thing, I promise.” Thomas was about to say something fresh and flirty in response, but felt compelled to be honest instead. “I can’t. I don’t want to disrespect my ‘darling’, nor give you false hope by reciting that list.” Lord Pembroke gave Thomas a final look over. “Whoever your man is, he’s extremely lucky.” “I’ll see you at nine.” Thomas passed through the gallery on his way to the dorms, and saw that Eric’s door was open. He knocked on the doorframe, startling Eric, who was reclined on his bed while lost in a novel. “Ah, I finally get a chance to talk to you,” Eric said, closing his book. Thomas stepped inside and shut the door. “You’ve done a lot of talking today. I’m surprised you were able to swallow a bite with all that chatting over dinner.” Eric sunk into the pillows and crossed his legs at the ankles. “I promised David a favor and I couldn’t let him down.” “I think David’s the one doing you the favor, not the other way ‘round.” Eric chuckled. “What’s the story between the two of them? David said he’d tell me, but I haven’t caught him alone to hear it.” “I never heard of him until he was on the guest list. All I really know is that he was smitten with David, so much that he asked him to work for him so that they could be together.” “And David declined I presume?” “He did indeed.” “Well,” Eric said, putting his hands behind his head, “then I’m not the only one in this house whose had his heart broken by one of the servants.” Thomas picked up Eric’s book from his lap and hit him on the hip with it. “Well, I hear misery loves company. Are you planning to go meet Misery in his room for some company?” “I would, if I were invited.” “He seemed to be inviting you over dinner, without so many words.” Eric pulled the blankets aside to get underneath. “I’m not taking hints from anyone anymore. If someone wants me I’ll need a notarized letter proving it first. I’ve been wrong one too many times, especially here.” “You could try getting a New Year’s kiss from him tomorrow.” “Goodness, you really want to pair me up with him, don’t you?” Thomas pictured Lord Pembroke standing before him again, taking a drag while looking him over. “Just seems he could use some company, and you could, too.” “Eh, well, if he makes a grand overture, I’ll consider it.” “Five pounds says he will.” “Ooh, gambling. And I win either way. I’m in.” Thomas handed Eric his novel. “Don’t read too late into the night.” “It’s a great read, but there are so many other things I’d rather be doing late into the night here.” “Are you venturing into the inappropriate?” “You ventured there first,” Eric said, opening his book. “Maybe you’re right and I can venture further into the inappropriate with him tomorrow.” “I wasn’t serious when I placed that bet, you know,” Thomas said as he opened the door. Eric looked down and turned to the next page. “You already placed your wager, you’re not taking your chips off the table now.” “Goodnight, Eric.” Eric smiled and waved goodbye to Thomas without looking up from his book. Thomas went from Eric’s room to his own and got ready for bed, but despite being exhausted, wasn’t able to sleep. He paced for a while, which only stirred him more. He finally decided to go see if Price was still awake, and slipped through the dark hallway and into Price’s room. Price’s lights were out and he was asleep under his covers. Thomas ran his fingers through Price’s hair until he awoke. Price yawned and opened his eyes. “How did it go?” “Fine.” Price sat up and sniffed Thomas’s cheek. “Why do you smell like Teddy’s tobacco?” “He gave me cigarettes.” “Now you’re smoking pals, huh?” Price teased. Thomas kissed Price’s lips. “Best pals.” Price laid back down and wiped his mouth. “Ack, you taste like him. Don’t spend too much time with him and those cigarettes or he’ll think you want to be more than smoking pals.” “You think I’m his type?” “A handsome, warm body? Yes, I’d say you’re his type.” “He must be more discerning than that.” Price rolled onto his side and scooted back against the wall. “I’m not necessarily saying he wouldn’t fall in love with you, I’m just saying he’d definitely fall into bed first.” “Oh oh, now I see. You’re the type he falls in love with. I’m the type he’d spend the night with, but no more?” “Aww, don’t pout. Wouldn’t you rather fall into bed with me, anyway?” Thomas grabbed Price’s alarm clock and set it for an hour earlier than anyone else would be up. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be tonight,” he said as he squeezed in next to Price. _____________________________ Lord Pembroke was already mostly dressed for the morning when Thomas arrived at nine. He buttoned his waist coat, missing only his jacket and shoes. He smiled at Thomas as he pushed the buttons through the holes. “Sorry for being so forward last night.” “You don’t have to apologize,” Thomas said, fetching Lord Pembroke’s jacket from the wardrobe. Lord Pembroke let Thomas help him into the jacket, then turned and faced him quickly, as close as he had been the night before. “I just thought that since you were looking at me all through dinner, maybe you wanted me for dessert.” “I was looking at that,” Thomas said, nodding up at Lord Pembroke’s hair. “Take a seat, please.” Lord Pembroke followed Thomas’s eyes to the vanity. “Sit there?” “Yes, my Lord.” “What did I say about calling me that?” Thomas pulled the chair out from in front of the vanity for Lord Pembroke. He waited for him to sit, then pulled a comb and pomade from his pocket and rested his wrists on Lord Pembroke’s shoulders. “You pull yourself together well from the neck down, but you could use some help up top.” Lord Pembroke ruffled his hair and laughed. “Nobody’s said there was a problem with it before.” “If you had a valet, he would have told you. Stay still.” Lord Pembroke watched in the vanity mirror as Thomas combed and set his hair, styling it in the direction it wanted to go, but back and away from his face. He had a placid smile on his lips, enjoying the touch of Thomas’s fingertips as he set the final pieces into place. “There. Isn’t that better?” Lord Pembroke leaned forward and admired his reflection. “Significantly. I’ve been walking around for thirty years without anyone saying anything. Thank goodness for you.” He turned in the seat and looked up at Thomas. “Will you keep me in mind if you ever want to be a valet again?” “I don’t see that happening, but if it does, you’ll be the first to know.” “Never say never.” Thomas put the comb and pomade back in one pocket and took out a lighter from another. “I’ll have someone run to the village today for you to get lighter fluid. You can borrow this ‘til then.” “I feel so well taken care of,” Lord Pembroke said, accepting the lighter. Thomas ignored Lord Pembroke’s lingering touch as he took it. “I’m just doing my job, my Lord.” Lord Pembroke looked at his reflection again before standing. “If you’re really as taken as you say, I won’t push further, and you don’t have to help me dress again while I’m here. There’s just something about you that draws me in, and I had to see if there was any chance you felt the same.” “I really am that taken. I don’t mind helping you, though. I enjoy your company.” Thomas’s words gave Lord Pembroke the same smile that his fingers caused when they ran through his hair. “That’s truly lovely to hear, Thomas. So that means I draw you in, just a wee bit?” “I can’t speak to that,” Thomas said, seeing the tenderness Price spoke of in Lord Pembroke’s eyes. “But I’ll say this much; there are very few people I’ve liked after just one conversation, I could count them on one hand. Now I can count you among them.” Lord Pembroke looked as though he might melt right where he stood. “Everything about you is beautiful, including your words.” “I know another man who would agree with you.” “I’m certain he would. Well, you know where I’ll be if anything changes between now and later, when it’s time for a New Year’s kiss.” Thomas shook his head. “You don’t give up easily.” “Not when there’s such a good thing standing right before me. But I will. I know there are already lips keen to find yours come midnight.” “There will be a full house tonight. I’m sure you can find a pair for yourself among them.” “Not as lovely as those,” Lord Pembroke said, looking at Thomas’s. “I won’t even begin talking about your eyes.” Thomas laughed. “I’ve seen what I look like, thank you. So what have we decided? Am I still helping you while you’re here?” “Yes, please do. But promise you won’t call me my Lord one more time when we’re alone.” “I can do that.” “I can do that what?” Thomas smiled. “I can do that, Ted.” “Thank you. I’ll stop delaying you from your day now.” “Are you going down to breakfast?” Lord Pembroke took a cigarette from his case. “As soon as my heart stops pounding. Go now, it’ll never return to normal if my eyes are still on you.” Thomas watched Lord Pembroke light his cigarette, captivated by the way he closed his eyes and inhaled to light it. Lord Pembroke opened his eyes to find Thomas’s resting on his lips. Thomas let himself out of the room before Lord Pembroke had time to comment. _____________________________ Guests streamed in slowly throughout the day until evening came, when a line of cars all seemed to arrive at once. Everyone was dressed in their finest, the women in beaded gowns, dripping with jewels that sparkled in the candlelight. The men were in their best tuxedos, including Eric, who had invested in his own since his last visit. The dining room was at maximum capacity that evening. Despite the numerous guests and lively conversation, Lord Pembroke was most focused on Thomas, his eyes following Thomas wherever he was in the room. Even Price caught on, whispering, “I told you not to smoke too many cigarettes with him,” between the third and fourth course. After the fifth course, Lady Edith looked to Lady Rosamund, then Eric, then asked her family for a moment of their attention. Many of the guests continued chatting at the further ends of the table, but the family had Lady Edith’s attention in the center. Thomas listened to the conversation from his spot against the wall, and Price listened from his spot opposite Thomas. “1926 will be a New Year for me, indeed,” Lady Edith began. “I’ve decided to stay on as permanent editor of the magazine, and I’m moving into the London flat full time. I’m tired of life happening around me. This year, I’m making a life for myself.” Lady Grantham smiled and put her hand to her chest. “My darling girl. When did you decide all of this?” “Recently, after Eric encouraged me,” Lady Edith replied, smiling at Eric. “And I’m so glad he did. You need to spread your wings,” Lady Rosamund said. She held Eric’s arm for a moment. “You’re a good friend.” “Just friends?” Lord Grantham mouthed to Lady Mary while he nodded in Eric’s direction. Lady Mary nodded in response to her father, then turned to Lady Edith. “Aren’t you worried that this may all be a bit intimidating to any future suitors?” “Any man who finds her intimidating doesn’t deserve her,” Lord Pembroke said on Lady Edith’s behalf. “Just friends?” Lord Grantham mouthed again. Lady Mary shrugged, then turned back to her dinner. “I think it’s wonderful that you’re taking some initiative,” the Dowager said, giving her son a leading look. “As do I,” Lord Grantham said after taking a few moments to pick up on the hint. “When are you planning to settle there full time?” “Next week.” “So soon?” Lady Grantham asked. “That barely gives us time to adjust to the idea.” “I think we’ll adjust perfectly fine,” Lady Mary replied. Lady Grantham smiled at Edith warmly. “As long as you’re happy, I’ll adjust to anything.” “I’m very happy with my choice, and I think I’ll be very happy with my new life.” Mr. Branson raised his glass. “A toast to our Lady Edith, now London’s Lady Editor.” The family raised their glasses, with Lady Mary raising hers last. “To my dear Edith,” Lord Grantham said, “sharp, spirited, and strong.” “To Edith,” the family echoed. Thomas was inspired by the announcement, playing out how his own would go with the staff when he was ready to make it. Price could see Lady Edith, Lord Pembroke, and Eric from his position, with Thomas in the background. Soon they would all be in London. Dozens of questions ran through his mind. Once Thomas was no longer her employee, would Eric tell Lady Edith about their friendship? Would the three of them spend time together? Would Lord Pembroke be there? He then thought about Anna’s upcoming leave of absence, and that Nora would be heading back to school soon. Nanny Rebecca had recently found herself with a new sweetheart, perhaps she would get married and leave, too. He envied the clarity with which Lady Edith was able to see her future. He had been perfectly happy with a career as a servant before he met Thomas. Now his vision of the future was muddied. He didn’t like the idea of staying behind as they all moved on, left to continue climbing the servant ladder. To what end, he wondered. He’d never really thought of the end, and as he tried to imagine it, none if it felt right, because none of it meant he could spend that future with Thomas. After dinner, the family and guests moved to the hall. There was a small band waiting, and drinks flowed while couples paired off to dance. Lord Pembroke took Lady Edith’s hand during the first dance, and let go on the next song so that Eric could take a turn with her on the floor. Price watched as he served other guests, his visions growing more vivid of them all together, Thomas included. He eyed the drinks on his own tray, and between the third and fourth songs, snuck one off to the stairwell to drink it himself. Thomas watched the three dancing as well, with his hope growing for a chance to be the one out there someday rather than the one looking on. He looked for Price, wanting to get his impression of Lady Edith’s news, but didn’t see him. He took a break searching for Price when Lord Pembroke joined the band, taking a seat at the piano to play alongside the man at the keys. Lady Mary joined alongside the singer, and Thomas’s hopes rose even higher, picturing Lord Pembroke on stage at Eric’s favorite club, himself on the floor dancing with Price in his arms. When Thomas finally laid eyes on Price half an hour later, Lord Pembroke was standing over him. Lord Pembroke smiled as he spoke, but Price’s expression was humorless. There was no chance for Thomas to ask questions, with too much demand for the hands of the servants, followed by New Year’s toasts from the family, and finally coffee and light refreshments to set up before the servants could go down for their midnight celebration. Most of the servants arrived in the servant’s hall before Price, including Thomas. Price arrived and went directly for the wine, finding a spot in the back corner by the piano to drink it. “You look a bit glassy-eyed,” Thomas said, joining Price. He rested his elbow on the top of the piano while he lit a cigarette. “Is that one of his?” Price asked, his voice wavering. Thomas took Price’s glass from his fingers and put it on top of the piano. “Let me guess, that’s not your first of the evening?” Price took the glass back and downed the remaining wine. “Should I send him down here? He could sit here and perform a solo for you. Or you could bring Eric down as well, maybe they could both kiss you when the clock strikes twelve.” Thomas put his cigarette out in Price’s glass and held his arm. “From apologies to allegations in the same day, eh? Time for bed, David. We can sort this out when you’re sober.” “I’m fine.” “Pardon my mistake then. Carry on like this, by all means.” Mrs. Hughes approached Thomas and Price cautiously. She noted Thomas’s hand on Price’s arm and met Thomas’s eyes. “Is everything alright back here?” “David’s a bit squiffy.” “Already?” Mrs. Hughes asked, looking at Price. “We haven’t been down here fifteen minutes.” “I think he got a head start.” Price tugged his arm from Thomas’s. “I’ll go up to bed.” Mrs. Hughes was unsettled by Price’s slight slurring as he spoke. “Bed sounds like the right idea. Mr. Barrow, why don’t you help him up?” “I can find my way, no need to take anyone else from their evening,” Price said, leaving both Mrs. Hughes and Thomas as he wove through the other servants to leave the hall. Thomas didn’t head up after Price. He hoped Price might forget what he said by the piano by the morning, chalking his behavior up to a bad mix of alcohol and emotions. Christmas didn’t sit well with Price, and New Year’s seemed no different. Thomas danced with a very pregnant Anna, drank a glass of wine with Daisy, and sang at midnight with the rest of the staff. When he finally went to bed, there was no light from under Price’s door, and he hoped Price would sleep off whatever had gotten into him that evening. Thomas awoke in the middle of the night to hands on his face and lips pressed to his. He opened his eyes to find Price’s face above him, tears falling from Price’s eyes onto Thomas’s cheeks. Thomas held Price’s shoulders and sat up. “You’re probably still tipsy. Go back to bed.” “What you said before is true,” Price said, searching Thomas’s eyes frantically. “I didn’t think about how it would feel when you left,” he continued, his voice rising. “You’re going to move on, and I have no way to move on with you. I can’t do this. I can’t be here without you. I can’t be anywhere without you.” “Keep your voice down,” Thomas said soothingly. “It’s not forever, remember? You’re the most optimistic person I know, and one of the most resourceful. We’ll find a way.” Price grabbed Thomas’s face. “I have no way, I have no way. And do you really even want me to find one?” “You’re not in your right mind, we can’t talk about this now.” “No, that’s just it. I’m finally in my right mind. I see everything now.” “What does that mean?” Price sobbed, pulling Thomas’s face to his. “You only think you love me because you’re here. Just wait until you get a break from me. There’ll be hundreds of Teddys and Erics at your doorstep.” “I don’t understand what you’re going on about,” Thomas said, pulling Price into a hug. Price cried harder into Thomas’s chest. “Teddy asked me tonight if I’d fallen in love with someone else, and I said I had. Do you know what he said in return? That he hoped I actually meant it, because he’s sure my man deserves better than to hand his heart over to someone who’ll break it. He’s right, I don’t deserve you,” Price said, squeezing Thomas in his arms, grasping Thomas’s undershirt in both hands. “I don’t, I don’t, I don’t,” he said, louder each time. “David…” “Please don’t leave until I can come with you,” Price pleaded, loudly and tearfully. “If I don’t come with you, you’ll never come back to me.” “Yes I will. Please trust me,” Thomas whispered. Price gasped as he cried, beginning to hyperventilate. “You’ll see he’s right. You’ll find someone better. It won’t be hard, I’m nothing compared to the type of man you really deserve.” As Thomas began to try and console Price again, his door flew open, and Mr. Carson flew into the room behind it. Price jumped from the bed, wiping his face with hands while trying to catch his breath. “What in God’s name is going on in here?” Mr. Carson hissed, keeping his voice quiet only to avoid waking anyone who might have slept through Price’s outburst. Thomas stood and spoke calmly. “David’s struggling with the holidays, and he had too much to drink tonight.” “Yes, Mrs. Hughes informed me, but that’s no excuse for whatever… this.” Thomas made sure his tone was reassuring and steady. “He needed a friend. He probably would have gone to Anna if she lived in the house, but she doesn’t, so he came to me.” Price couldn’t calm himself, wracked with guilt that he’d alerted Mr. Carson and forced Thomas to make excuses for him. Mr. Carson looked to Price. “Do you have anything to say, David?” Price looked at Thomas, and then back to Mr. Carson. He wanted to speak, but the act of trying to make words made his breath catch in his throat. Mr. Carson pulled Thomas’s chair over for Price and waited for him to sit. “I’m sorry you’re struggling David,” Mr. Carson said, meeting Price’s eyes as Price looked up at him, still gasping, “but there’s never any excuse to run into a man’s arms.” “He didn’t, he was-” “Enough from you, he can speak for himself when he’s able. He knows what you are, and he should know the last place to look for comfort in this house is alone with you in your room.” Thomas lost the ability to speak evenly, and squeezed his jaw shut. In the silence between Thomas and Mr. Carson, Price’s breathing was the only noise in the room. Mr. Carson’s own heart rate began to slow, and he saw the hurt he’d caused with his words plain across on Thomas’s face. “You know what I mean,” Mr. Carson said, his eyebrows raised in as close to an apology as he could ever give under such circumstances. Thomas nodded. “I understand. So will David when he’s able to.” “Go back to your room once you can breathe properly,” Mr. Carson said. “And make sure he goes back there soon,” he told Thomas. Thomas followed Mr. Carson to the door and shut it behind him. He kept his gloved hand pressed against it and stayed there for a moment. “I’m sorry,” Price rasped. Thomas turned from the door and let his hand slide down it. “You can never come in here after dark again.” “I’ll smooth things over with him tomorrow.” “No, you won’t. You won’t mention this to him, David, or anybody else.” “What does that mean for us?” Thomas helped Price up from the chair and led him to the door. “That we have to be extremely careful from here on out.” “There aren’t enough sorrys in the world for this.” Thomas reached his fingers under the collar of Price’s pajamas and pulled out his necklace. He put the ring that hung from it on the tip of his index finger and held it up. “Think about this the next time you’re in a mood like tonight. It should prove as a reminder that I have no plans of leaving you.” “Not even after this?” “No,” Thomas said, letting the ring fall to Price’s chest, “but things have to be different here now.” Price nodded. “I know. I got far too comfortable.” “We both did.” Thomas rested his forehead on Price’s, and Price squeezed his eyes closed and let his final tears for the evening roll down his cheeks. “We’ll get through this together, don’t worry.” “You’re too good to me, Thomas.” Thomas kissed the tip of Price’s nose. “Good as you deserve. Now go get a glass of water and put yourself to bed, David.” Once Price was gone, Thomas was able to vent his own frustration, punching his fist into his palm as he paced the room. After their tryst in the garage he was thinking of ways to be even more adventurous, and now he wouldn’t be able to spend even another minute behind a closed door with Price until he was no longer employed at Downton. It took every bit of his willpower not to become furious over the situation, but he had enough of his own misguided eruptions to find patience with Price over his, regardless of how much damage Price did that evening. First thing the next morning, Thomas knocked on Mr. Carson’s office door, taking a seat opposite him at the desk. Mr. Carson sighed deeply. “I don’t want to rehash last evening.” “I don’t, either. I just wanted to assure you that I didn’t take advantage of David in his state. I assumed that was your main concern.” “Then you assumed wrong, Mr. Barrow,” Mr. Carson said. He crossed the room to shut the door, then returned to his seat and folded his hands on his desk. “Does David know about James?” Thomas felt the wind knocked out of him at the utterance of the name. “No, Mr. Carson. Why would he?” “Because then he might understand why his actions were especially inappropriate. We don’t need yet another young man in the house giving you the wrong impression. You’ve been through enough in that department.” “This may sound odd, Mr. Carson,” Thomas said with a modest smile, “but that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” “Yes, well, that was all quite the ordeal then, and not one I would care to relive, either.” “You won’t have to. There are no misconstrued feelings between me and David,” Thomas said confidently, since it was technically the truth. “Let us keep it that way, Mr. Barrow. I can talk to David and explain if you’d like.” “No, no, I can tell him. But I’m not concerned. He understands enough not to do it again.” Mr. Carson rose, and Thomas followed. “Then we can close the book on this matter.” “We can. Thank you, Mr. Carson.” “There’s nothing to thank me for.” “Yes there is. You didn’t assume the worst in me, and for that, I’m thankful.” Mr. Carson tone was a bit more jovial. “I’m impressed with you these days, Mr. Barrow. You seem to be trying to make a better life for yourself, like how you’re building friendships with people you’ve burned bridges with in the past.” “I didn’t think you noticed those kinds of things.” “I notice everything. That’s my job.” Thomas smiled. “Yes, of course.” “Keep making progress, Mr. Barrow,” Mr. Carson said as he followed Thomas into the hall, “and you may eventually find yourself as a butler just as you hoped.” I have different hopes now, Thomas thought. “Whatever I do eventually, I won’t make the kinds of mistakes I’ve made in the past.” “I truly believe you don’t want to repeat them,” Mr. Carson said. “With that in mind, make sure you explain things to David. For your own benefit.” Thomas saw Price out of his peripheral vision, stopping at the end of the hallway when he set eyes on Thomas and Mr. Carson engaged in conversation. “Yes. I’ll explain it all to him.” Thomas walked down the hallway toward Price, but didn’t stop to chat like he would have just a day before. Instead, he nodded a greeting as if Price were any other man in the house, and continued walking, heading upstairs to help Lord Pembroke dress. Thomas wondered on his way up whether Lord Pembroke suspected that Price was the unnamed man in his life. He was a little fond of the idea of him finding out and being jealous, even though he liked Lord Pembroke. Thomas was the tender lover in Price’s life now, even if it would be quite some time before love making would become an option again. More important than that, though, he had Price’s love, even if sometimes it burst out of Price in a storm of fear, self doubt, and self loathing. He knew what it was to ride the waves in that kind storm himself, and he was willing help Price through them, no matter how choppy the waters.