Sessions

After a couple hours of much needed sleep, Sara woke up to find Grissom still dozing beside her. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around Sara, it was like an involuntary reaction. Then Sara heard him mutter, "No...Nick, she's mine. Don't take her." He was reaching for Sara when his eyes shot open. He was sweating profusely and was winded.

"Hey..It’s okay, Grissom. I'm here," Sara said softly.

"Was I dreaming?" He asked.

"Yeah." Sara softly kissed Grissom's temple.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"For what?"

"Just being me, for everything, Sara. I don't deserve you."

Sara held him close to her. "Grissom, that's not true."

"Yes it is. I have been nothing but an asshole for the last little bit. I don't really deserve another chance." He hung his head.

Sara softly kissed his neck. "You changed my life, Griss."

"I'm not sure what I would do without you, you changed my life too." He tilted his head back to give her better access.

She softly ruffled his hair before flipping back the covers to get up. "Where are you going?" There was a hint of hurt in his voice.

“I need to use the bathroom," Sara explained.

"Oh." He was embarrassed for worrying.

You have got to get over these insecurities Gil or you are gonna smother her and force her to leave you.

"You feel like getting up and going shopping?" Sara called through the bathroom door.

He groaned to himself more shopping? "What else do we need?" He asked.

"Didn't you say you needed shampoo?"

Oh! Right. "Yes. And soap too. Do you have all you need?" He asked sitting up in the bed.

"Well. Except for the dress."

"Oh right! I should take my suit to the cleaner's too." He sat on the edge of the bed. "Could you please pass me my pants?" He pointed to the pants sitting in the chair.

Sara handed them to him, preoccupied with buying a dress. He put them on forgetting the ring had been in the pocket. The ring box was lying on the floor of the bedroom. Sara froze for a minute, but pessimistically thought it wasn't for her. "Here, you dropped this." He gulped as she passed it to him. He didn't know what to say. Sara continued getting dressed. He fought with himself, should he give it to her now, should he wait, he was all conflicted. In the end he decided if she asked, he would tell her what it was. He put it back in his pocket as he got up to go start the coffee.

"Griss?"

"What Sara?" He said pouring a cup of coffee.

"That box. Is that a gift for someone?"

He grew very silent and took a sip of his coffee. "Yes."

"Oh." Sara said softly. "Just curious." She turned her back to pour a cup of coffee.

Should I tell her? She seems hurt. "Sara."

"Hm?"

"That gift, or rather this gift." He took it out of his pocket. "It is for you."

Sara's mouth fell open. Then she closed her mouth again. Tears brimmed on her eyelashes. "It is?"

"Yes, it was supposed to be a surprise...for your birthday while we are in Colorado."

Sara impatiently wiped her face. "You uh...you hold on to it."

"You don't want to see it?" He was shocked.

"Well, it's not that I don't want to see it," Sara said, her voice still wavering from the emotion. "But it's probably better if you surprise me."

"Are you sure that's what you want?" He was giving her a chance to change her mind.

Sara shoved all selfish thoughts out of her head as she smiled. "I'm sure, Griss." She leaned over the counter to lightly kiss his cheek.

"Alright." He said putting the box back in his pocket.

Sara's eyes followed the small jewellery box back into Grissom's pocket. Then she visibly perked herself up, going back to comb her shoulder-length brown hair.

"So are you packed to go?" He called to her.

"Yeah." One-word answers, Sara. Not good.

"So when do you want to head out?" He was leaving the decision up to her. It was her vehicle. He had to leave his at the lab while he was gone.

"Tomorrow morning?"

"Ok, sounds good, we can pack everything up tonight." He stepped closer. "Before we go on our date."

"Okay."

"So we gonna go shopping?"

“I'll be right with you," Sara called through the closed bathroom door. She was clutching her stomach against butterflies and knots. It was just hitting her now she was going to be alone with Grissom for a whole month.
He waited outside the door for her. Sara fixed a smile on her face before opening the door. "Hey."

"Where are we going?" He asked her stepping towards the passenger door of her car.

"Not sure...we might have to wander around for a while." Sara got into the driver seat of her Tahoe.

'Ok, sounds good." As long as I'm with you, I don't care where we go.

Sara absently reached over to squeeze Grissom's hand. He entwined his fingers with hers and it forced a huge smile on his face. He loved the little things, like holding her hand and touching her face.

"You okay over there?"

"Yes, never better. Why?"

"Just checking. Maybe it's just me."

"No. I'm fine. Thanks for checking though." He squeezed her hand.

Sara smiled back at Grissom before going back to driving. "You're going to help me pick out a dress, right?"

What? Is she crazy? He smiled, I guess."

'Good."

"Where first, dress or toiletries?"

"Toiletries. The dress might take a while." Sara couldn't resist smiling a little at the irony of her buying a dress.

"Sounds good. Walgreen’s here we come." He was laughing.

Sara made herself smile as she found her parking spot. It was rapidly becoming her turn to have the insecurities.
He opened the door once she put the truck in park. He got out and walked around to her door to help her out.

"Thanks."

He reached out for her hand once again. Sara wordlessly put her hand in Grissom's. He led her into the store and straight to the shampoo. He picked up his brand and some soap and made his way to the counter. Sara held Grissom's hand as she studied the mall map.

"Where do you want to start?" He looked her in the eyes. "Looking for this dress?"

"There's a boutique at the end of the hall."

"Sounds good. Lets go."

Sara kept a firm but gentle hold on Grissom's hand as she strode down the hallway. She began looking at dresses, monitoring where Grissom was by the pressure on her hand.

"I like this one." He said picking up a floor length red one.

"You have good taste," Sara said as she admired the spaghetti straps and V-neck. She gave him a quick kiss. "I'll be right back.” Grissom stood there like a little kid waiting for a Christmas present.

Sara emerged from the dressing room. She looked amazing. Grissom wasn't the only one who thought so either. There were two other guys; obviously waiting for their significant others making cat calls at her. Sara pointedly ignored them, heading straight for Grissom.

"You look amazing." He whispered in her ear.

"Hey, gorgeous. Where are you going?" One of the cat-callers insisted.

"Excuse me!" Grissom retorted.

"He’s old enough to be your father!" the other commented.

Grissom was getting angry. He tried to hide it. He didn't want to make a scene in front of Sara. This was what he was worried about, someone younger being better for her. Grissom couldn't handle it anymore when one of them physically grabbed Sara by the wrist. He pushed the guy off of Sara sending him flying into the wall. The other guy just stood there looking. The sales clerk came over to see what the commotion was. At first, all Sara could do was just stand there. With help from a sales associate, they broke up the fight. Grissom was embarrassed. He passed her is credit card, asked Sara for the keys and went to sit in the truck. Sara paid for her dress, and then went in search of Grissom. He was sitting in the truck with his head between his legs. Stupid. Why did you do that? That was childish. What is she going to think of you now?

"Grissom?" came Sara's soft voice from his right.

He looked up. "Sorry."

Sara put her parcel in the back seat. "Wanna tell me what happened?"

They were cat calling to you...” He stopped. "And commented about my age. See I told you this wasn't going to work. They think I'm your father." He was biting back the tears. "Once he grabbed you I snapped. I'm so sorry. I was such an ass."

Sara took his hand. "Let's take a walk and get some air." He nodded and got up. Sara wrapped her arm around his waist, resting her head against him. She felt so good. He loved her so much but he was so scared of losing her. This episode today just toyed with his insecurities.

"What's on your mind?" Sara asked softly.

"I'm scared." He said sheepishly

Sara stopped him in front of the mall's fountain. "Sit down with me for a minute."

He did as he was told and stared off into space. "Grissom, look at me, please."

He turned to face her. Sara leaned forward to kiss him. He backed away from her. "Grissom....” He was silent as he stared at the ground. "Grissom, I don't think you're too old. I've never thought that."

"I'm not sure if this is going to work." He shot back. He stood up and turned away from her. Sara wouldn't let him leave. "Sara, I'm so scared...scared I'm gonna lose you." Sara took a deep breath. This was the moment she knew she had to pour her heart out to him. There were tears rolling down his face and he couldn't control them any longer.

Sara wrapped her arms around Grissom. "Before I met you, Grissom, the only person who ever cared about me was Mara.” He nuzzled her in closer to him.

"When I met you at Harvard, it was like we just clicked. At the risk of sounding cheesy we were like two souls who found each other." He laughed lightly

Sara's voice was beginning to break. "I...I'm not complete without you, Grissom.”

He looked up into her eyes and reached for the box in his pocket. He pulled the box out and opened it up.

"It’s beautiful."

"Sara," he said putting it on his finger. "This ring is my promise to you. I love you." He kissed her lips and whispered in her ear. "Baby steps."

Sara held him a little tighter as the tears ran freely down her face. "I love you too."

"I'm sorry it's not more...you deserve more...but I'm not ready for that yet."

“Baby steps, Grissom. Whatever you're ready for," Sara assured him.

"Thanks." He said kissing her again. "You are my special one."

“And you're mine, baby.”