An Internal Affair

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She’d cleaned her house several times over, starting anew as soon as the rags she’d used were tossed in the washer… after all, what else was there for her to do these days? Graves said she wasn’t allowed back until she had a change in attitude, whatever the hell that meant. There wasn’t anything wrong with her, Andrea had maintained, but it was as if they all knew just what she was trying to hide. Ever since Chad had opened his eyes she’d stayed away, unable to face him. It was stupid and beyond childish to think that if she just avoided the issue it would go away, but she grew more and more miserable.

The only people who really knew the truth about the situation were the nurses and doctors working the night shift at the hospital – when she was sure that Chad’s family had gone for the night, she’d come and watch him sleep. There’d been a few close calls where he’d stirred just as she reached out to touch his face, whispering that she was sorry and that she loved him, but she’d beaten a hasty retreat each time and the words remained unsaid. Andrea threw her newest rag down on the floor suddenly, drawing her knees up to her chest as the ever-present misery washed over her in a sudden wave that left her breathless. She missed everything about Chad, and would give anything to be able to just walk in there and put her arms around him… but that was precisely the one thing she couldn’t do.

Meredith whined unhappily from where he was curled up on the couch – he knew full well he wasn’t allowed up there, but she hadn’t the heart to make him move. He just stared at her through reproachful eyes and drooled on the upholstery while she came over to scratch behind his ears. Andrea had been taking care of the big, ungainly pitbull ever since Chad’s fall and Merry never ceased to let her know that although he liked her, she’d always be second best and he wanted his Chad. She smiled and gave him one last pat. “I miss him too, big guy.” He snorted as if to show her his opinion of that statement, but she was spared having to respond by someone ringing the doorbell. “Be right there,” she yelled, climbing up off the floor.

When she opened the door, she came face to face with Annie Shelten. “We need to talk,” Chad’s sister announced, stepping past her without waiting for an invitation.

Andrea blinked and closed the door as Annie plopped down on the couch beside the drooling Meredith, who promptly settled his bulk into her lap and made her grunt. “What can I do for you?” Andrea asked awkwardly. “Would you like something to drink, or…?”

She was pinned by a blue eyed stare. “What you can do for me is quit being a dumbass and come visit Chad.”

“I’ve been to see him-”

“While he’s awake and can see that you haven’t abandoned him,” Annie interrupted, frowning.

Abandoned? What the… “I haven’t abandoned anyone.”

Annie crossed her arm and raised an eyebrow at her. “Tell that to Chad.”

“Look, he hasn’t asked for me and I don’t blame him,” Andrea flared. “I’m the reason he’s there, after all. I know everyone is talking about how it’s my fault and how I never should have gotten mixed up with Eddie in the first place.”

The other woman blinked under the verbal onslaught. “Wha..? Who’s talking? And what’s this about it being your fault?”

Andrea wiped at her eyes angrily – it seemed like just about anything these days turned on the waterworks. “Eddie said-”

“Eddie said? You actually listened to what that piece of shit said?” Annie was indignant. “… er, what exactly did he say?”

“That Chad would think it was my fault that-”

Annie made a rude noise. “Like hell he does!”

“He doesn’t ask for m-”

“Because he thinks you don’t want to see him!”

She glared at the other woman. “Will you let me finish what I’m-”

“No!”

“You’re just like Chad, you know that?”

Annie smiled smugly. “Runs in the family.” She leveled a glare at Andrea. “But the one thing we don’t share is his current state of stupidity...well, it’s pretty much been a constant state with him for about forty years, but really. Who’s counting? Now, stop me if I’m wrong: You think that Chad blames you for his fall, and doesn’t want to see you again, so you visit him at night when he’s asleep and can’t wake up to slap some sense into you.”

“Well, except for the slapping part of it…”

Chad’s sister shook her head. “I really should knock your heads together – and I will, once the doctors give me permission. My idiot big brother has gone all Gloomy Gus on us because he thinks you don’t want him anymore... Jesus. You two really are a matched set.”

She stood up to leave, and Andrea could only stare at her. “Why would he ever think that I wouldn’t…”

Annie shook her head again. “Yeah, you two deserve each other all right. I’ll make sure you idiots have privacy when you come see him tomorrow.” She narrowed her eyes at Andrea suddenly. “Because you will come see him tomorrow or I will bat my eyes at Stephen Ramiro and have the SWAT team drag you down there.”

The other woman left, and Andrea sank back down on the carpet in disbelief – all this time, she’d been thinking that Chad didn’t want to see her… she bit her lip and looked over at Meredith, who was gnawing contentedly at a cushion. “What do you think? Should I go see him?” He just looked at her and spat out a mouthful of fringe. “Okay.”

The next morning when she finally got up the courage to walk inside the hospital past a few members of Second Team, Andrea couldn’t shake the feeling that they were judging her as she leaned on the doors and pushed inside. She was halfway down the hall when voices called her back. “Hey, Battle!” Andrea turned, expecting to be chastised for staying away so long, but all Jameson did was smile. “He’s on the fourth floor – got moved last night.”

“Thanks.”

After exiting the elevator and asking for Chad’s room number, she paused outside and drew in a deep breath before knocking.


_ _ _ _ _ _


It was becoming increasingly difficult to pretend to be cheerful, Chad thought. It wasn’t as if he weren’t grateful that he had people to come visit, but the one person who really mattered never did and her absence was making him more and more depressed. Annie had seen through his ruse easily enough; did everyone else know, too? He found it likely that they were trying to make up for Andrea not being there by not giving him a moment’s peace, though he had to admit to himself that it’d been good having Annie piss him off so badly that he was actually able to force his body to move.

He tried to be accommodating when it seemed like everyone on the damn planet had to come see how he was doing, and he did appreciate their concern, but lately he just wanted to be left alone. Chad grimaced in pain as he resettled himself on the bed, pulling the blanket up over his chest and closing his eyes wearily. The physical therapist had been in to see him and had started him on what exercises his body could handle… that had been an embarrassment in itself. Chad had always taken pride in being strong and staying in shape, but now he could barely eat dinner without being exhausted by the effort it took to raise a fork to his mouth.

A tentative knock on the door made him close his eyes…maybe if whoever it was thought he was sleeping, they’d go away. He sighed inwardly as the door opened and footsteps approached the bed, then he heard the soft scrape of a chair being pulled up. “I’m asleep,” he muttered.

“It certainly looks like it,” a very familiar and longed for voice answered, and his eyes flew open to see Andrea sitting there. Trying to sit up too fast only had the result of making him flop back against the pillows, wincing but she was out of her chair and at his side instantly. “Easy,” she soothed.

If he blinked, she’d be gone… was he asleep and just dreaming her, or was she truly there? “Andy?” he asked in a disbelieving tone.

Her eyes filled with tears. “I’m sorry I stayed away. I thought you – I thought you might not want me to come,” she whispered. “I know what happened with Eddie is my fault and you have every right to kick me out right now.”

What the hell? She thought that he blamed her for…? “But it wasn’t your fault,” he said, bewildered. “I thought that you didn’t want-” He wasn’t allowed to finish since she glommed onto him so tightly he could barely breathe – it hurt, but that was okay. Andrea covered his face with kisses, crying all over him as he tried to put his arms around her as tightly as he could. He felt relief so intense that he thought he’d disgrace himself by crying, too.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, snuffling against his neck and squeezing him until he grunted in pain. “Oh, I’m sorry…!”

“’Sokay, the pain lets me know I’m alive,” he wheezed. She drew back, more conscious of his injuries. “You don’t have to sit back in the chair - I’m still good for kisses,” Chad hinted.

He moved over slightly, trying to tilt his hips to make room for her on the side of the bed and she smiled, perching on the corner and leaning down to kiss him gently. “I won’t leave you again,” she promised. “Not even if you get a restraining order.”

Chad felt better than he had in weeks. “I guess I’d better call the judge then – I had one placed against you just a few days ago.” He closed his eyes as her fingertips traced his face, and her lips brushed against his gently. “I missed you.”

She drew away from him, and he saw the tears well in her eyes again. “Missed you more. I thought you might never wake up,” she said mournfully.

“It takes a lot more than an ex-boyfriend of yours to kill me.” He winced as an injudicious movement sent a fresh spasm of pain through his body. “Stupid little shit never could get anything right.”

The room door opened again and his mother poked her head in just as Andrea leaned in to cuddle him carefully. “Chad, look what we- oh, Andrea’s here,” she said delightedly.

Annie pulled her from the doorway. “We’ll just be going now, you two continue with what you’re doing.” Chad made a shooing motion that made her laugh and close the door, then he closed his eyes and leaned into Andrea’s gentle caresses.

At length she drew away from him with one last nuzzle. “You look like you could use some sleep, Sarge.”

He opened his eyes with a start. “Sleep? What? No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do,” she contradicted, and stood up – he reflexively grabbed her arm, alarmed that she was going to leave him again. “I’m just going to sit in this chair right over here… I’m not leaving,” she reassured him, understanding immediately. Andrea curled her fingers gently around his as soon as she settled into the chair, stroking her thumb across his palm in soothing circles.

“I know what you’re doing,” Chad yawned. “Not gonna fall for it.”

Andrea just gave that snorting giggle that always made him smile whenever he heard it. “Is that why you can’t keep your eyes open?” She reached her other hand in her bag and pulled out a book.

“Mm-hm.” He tried to keep his eyes open, but was roundly defeated by the quiet rustle of pages turning and the feel of Andrea’s fingers on his skin… he fell into the deepest sleep he’d had yet, reassured by her presence.

tbc…
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A/N: I know, I know... there should have been more angst. But I just couldn't keep those two crazy kids apart any longer :)