Our Spot

Chapter 23


“What the hell are you doing here, Mel?”

“I need to talk to you, Gil.”

“About what!?” He was surprised that his voice sounded harsh. Claire made sounds of protest. Melanie wasn’t surprised at his anger. She had expected as much. The Gil she married was not a smiling, happy man who entertained friends and held babies.

She thought wistfully of her husband. The man she had married one October and divorced the next. He hadn’t been all goodness and light and for a time he had been a steady reliable husband. She had known that he didn’t love her in the grand passionate way that some women required. She told herself that it didn’t matter and it might not have had it not been for Boston.

Nearly a decade ago he had returned from a conference in Boston. His two weeks on the east coast left him distant, difficult and angry with her for being who she was, his wife.

He had fallen in love with another woman.

A week after his return she stumbled upon him crouched in his half lit study laughing into the phone, his face open and warm, speaking softly into the phone saying the name Sara over and over again like sugar melting on his tongue. Unaware of her presence, she had watched him, gauging the damage to her marriage.

He said nothing inappropriate. He had not broken his marriage vows. It was his eyes that gave him away. Usually guarded and tense and filled with the necessary gruesomeness of his work, they were now clear and free.

The next morning Melanie Grissom packed her things and moved back New York. Gil never tried to find her. He didn’t contest the divorce. He signed the papers and returned them in the overnight envelope her attorney had provided.

Her mind went to the lithe tall woman that had opened the door. He would go after her. He wouldn’t let her walk away without protest. She was glad that he had found that in his life. Everyone deserved that.

“Is that your daughter?” she said taking in the bundle of pink that he held protectively.

Startled by the subject Gil replied, “Yes.”

“Was that your wife?”

“Soon,” he said cryptically.

“Then I got here just in time.”

Gil watched his former wife. It couldn’t be good news. Melanie had disrupted her life in order to see him face to face.

“Gil, it would seem that we are still married.”


Gil had took the new set of divorce papers from Melanie along with her cell phone number. She was staying at the Luxor. She promised that she and her new attorney would walk the papers to the court house together.

Sara had frowned when he’d mumbled something about an old friend stopping through. “You should have invited her in” Sara said. The hairs on her spine stood like bamboo stalks when he averted his gaze.

After all their friends had gone, he thrust the papers at her and mumbled something trite and pathetic. Sara had stood in her kitchen, in their kitchen, staring at him wondering how he could have kept this from her.


Sara’s eyes were red but not swollen from crying. Gil’s however were both red and swollen. Of all the things Gil had done to Sara, this was the worst. He had willfully deceived the mother of his child. He stood in the doorway, his hands in the pocket of his robe.

“Sara,” he said for the third time not sure if she had heard or if she was ignoring.

“Yes, Gil” she said softly.

“Can I come to bed? Please.”

“It’s your bed too.” Sara said her voice laced with the righteousness of the just.

The bed moved under Gil’s weight. “Honey, do you want to talk about this?”

“Not really but I guess we should.”

Gil sighed. “Are you going to leave me?”

“Would you leave me if the situation were reversed?”

Gil exhaled evenly and measured his words. “Honestly?”

“Always, Grissom. We have never lied to one another before let’s not start now.”

He longed to point out the irony of the statement. Another day, another situation she might have appreciated it.

“I don’t know. I would like to think that I am strong enough to deal with it, but I might not be. I have insecurities about us, Sara.”

Sara sniffed silently. “Alright.”

“Are you going to leave me?” He repeated.

“I am not sure, Gil.”

In the moments that followed Melanie’s announcement, several things had run through his mind. First, he had considered slamming the door and pretending that it had never happened. Eventually, rationality seized him as he realized that he wasn’t able to continue the lie under the accusing eye of his daughter.

The next words returned Grissom’s tears. He was glad that Sara had her back to him. The thought of crying in the middle of what was really her pain shamed him.

“I should have told you that I was married when you met me in Boston.”

“Where was your ring?” She asked plainly.

“I slipped it off when you came into my office. It’s was winter so I didn’t have much of a tan line. I never wore it again.”

“Oh”

Sara chewed on a nail. Gil lay parallel to her and took pleasure in the strong scent of her body. Her anger had created a cloud of muskiness around her. He breathed deeply as he closed his eyes.

“I thought we were going to have an affair.” Gil said.

“I’m glad we didn’t. I wouldn’t want to be with a man that did that.”

“You want a glass of water?”

Sara gave a wordless nod. He reached for the crystal carafe that was filled with spring water on Gil’s night stand. He thought of the nights she had asked him to pour her a glass of water because pregnancy had brought on a never ending thirst.

She sat up and put a glass etched with and “S” to her lips.

She knew that she wouldn’t leave him.

He held her close to him feeling tiny hiccups.

“Please don’t leave me, Sara.”

She didn’t speak. She enjoyed the momentum of his chest much like her daughter had done. Again, he thanked God for his daughter. He was fairly certain that she was the only reason Sara was not gone. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t enough. All that mattered was that she stayed.

“What else have you lied about?”

“Nothing”


~~~~~~~~

He knew they were gone the minute he opened his eyes. Sound echoed through the house like a ghost looking for a place to haunt. Though it was warm outside the rooms of the townhouse were cold and not adequately lit. The note was on the refrigerator door. It seemed very formal and distant to Gil.

Gil,

I have taken an emergency leave. Claire and I will be at the B&B. I am not sure exactly what I am feeling. I am not angry as much as I am hurt and frightened that you were able to lie to me from almost the instant we met.

We are not easy people, Gil. I am probably as much as fault as you are. I don’t know if I want you to call or to visit. I supposed I should have thought about that before I had a baby with you.

Love,

I do love you.

Sara

Paper in hand, Gil shuffled to his daughter's room and sat in the rocking chair he and Sara he had lovingly restored. It was pink and covered with white butterflies.

The clothes that Sara had so lovingly constructed were gone, save for the white dress she was to wear at their wedding. It hung in her closet covered with a clear plastic clothing bag.

Gil tried to pull his brain out of confusion. He should call someone. He pulled his cell phone from the pocket of his robe still moving back and forth in the chair. A machine picked up on the other end.

“Mom, it’s me. Sara left and took Claire. She’s at the B&B. I’m sure if you call, she’ll bring Claire to visit. I need to talk to you, but don’t call if all you can say is ‘I told you so.’ Geez. That sounded awful. Just call me okay.”

He started to hang up the phone but put it back to his ear. “I love you, mom. Whatever I am, know that it’s not your fault.”

He dialed another set of digits.

“Cath…” The thin thread that held him together snapped upon hearing his friend’s voice.
“She left. She took Claire and left.”

“I am 10 minutes away. Where are you?”

“In Claire’s room.”

“Gil, get out there and go sit in the living room. I am on my way.”