Infinity

TITLE: Infinity (20/?)

AUTHOR: Master F&M

FANDOM: Law and Order: SVU

RATING: Everything from PG to R—just like life.

SUMMARY: A Fin fic— to give him a life that the show refuses to give him

DISCLAIMER: L&O: SVU and all its characters belong to Dick Wolf, NBC, and whomever

                          else puts the show out for our enjoyment. I just get to play with them.

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Sam is a character of my own creation. She does not exist on the show.

FEEDBACK: Please give some. For entertainment purposes only.

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CHAPTER 20

            Fin sat on his sofa with a knot in his stomach. The more he thought about it, the guiltier he
felt. Sam had only been trying to do something nice for him. It was one of the things he liked
about her; how generous she. Y. Yet, when she’d given him a gift, he’d thrown it back at her.

            Fin recalled the look on her face when he’d put the figure back in her hand. He hadn’t
meant to hurt her feelings. Truth was, he hadn’t been thinking about her feelings at all. He was
too concerned with his own.

            He’d thought about buying that piece himself. There was something about its face that
reminded him of the little figures Dorian used to spend hours playing with. He’d wanted to buy it
until he saw the price. He knew it was out of his range.

            But then Sam had just handed it to him. It had irked him that she could manage it so
easily when it would have made a small dent in his savings. It had hurt his pride, and he’d
overreacted. Nanna’s Rule #11: Never return a gift given in love. He didn’t think Sam felt that
strongly about him, but he did know that she’d only had the best of intentions when she gave it to
him.

            The issue still remained, though. He knew that, with the exception of the few things she
splurged on, Sam didn’t really concern hlf wlf with money. Nonetheless, it still bothered him.
Call it old-fashioned, sexist, or whatever, but he wanted to be the one to take care of her, not the
other way around. Fin felt the knot in his stomach and remembered how he felt when she left. He
knew he’d just have to find a way to swallow some of thrideride. It wasn’t worth not being with
her again.

            Fin got up and looked at the clock. Home alone on a Friday night. It wasn’t exactly how
he’d planned to start the weekend. He headed for the bathroom and changed into sweats and his
running shoes. He knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if he didn’t clear things up first.
After checking for his keys, he headed out. But first, he moved the figurine to the mantle, next to
the picture of him and Dorian at the circus.<

.................................................

            Sam sat at her desk in front of her computer. After she’d gotten home, she had allowed
herself one good cry, then tried to focus her mind elsewhere. She picked up the phone to call
Munch then remembered that he was at Tori’s. She left a message and hung up. It was an odd
feeling knowing that he wouldn’t be as available to her anymore as he usually was. It was
probably for the best right now anyway, she reasoned. She didn’t want him to have to take sides
between her and his partner. Still, it didn’t stop her from feeling sadly about it.

            She thought her best chance at distraction would be work. She’d gone to her desk and
started reading a case file concerning piracy. Thirty minutes later she was still reading the same
page in the same file. She just couldn’t get the sound of Fin’s voice out of her head. Her buying
that figurine had really upset him.

            Sam couldn’t even begin to think she understood the way men worked. She hadn’t had
personal dealings with too many of them. But she did know that men often reacted badly to
anything that challenged their masculinity. George had taught her that much. Could Fin possibly
feel like he was less of a man because she could afford things he couldn’t? Where was the sense
in that? Fin was so . . . so . . . manly.

            Sam shook her head. Perhaps she had been a little insensitive toward him. She knew he
felt uncomfortable with her having more money than he did; that he thought she might feel he was
holding her back from things. After his experience with Charlene, who could blame him? If it
was going to be that much of a problem for him, she decided, then maybe she could show a little
more restraint in the future. It wasn’t worth not seeing him anymore.

          
#160#160;The sound of the doorbell startled her out of her thoughts. It was sort of late for anyone
to be paying her a visit. She went to the door and was surprised to see Fin through the peephole.

            “Hey.” He seemed glad she’d even opened the door. “Can I come i82218221;

            “Are you going to yell at me again?”

            Fin looked down at the floor, then back at her. “No. I just want to talk.”

            Sam opened the door wider and waved him in. As soon as Fin was through the door, he
turned to her.

            “I’m sorry, Sam. I have my reasons for feeling the way that I do . . . ” Sam started to
object but Fin rushed ahead. “. . . but none of them can excuse the way I treated you. I’m sorry.”

            Sam relaxed. “Come on,” she tugged at his arm. “Let’s go sit down.” She led him into
the den and waited until he’d shrugged off his jacket before she spoke again.

 㺼&60;         “I know that I can sometimes get a sort of tunnel vision. You know, where I can only see
what I have my eyes set on? All I knew as that I wanted to get that figure for you. I didn’t think
about whether or not you’d want me to.” She paused. “So I guess I owe you an apology, too.
I’m just so used to doing things my own way.”

            “Yeah, I know.” Fin laughed a little when she frowned at him. “No, I mean I know what
you mean. I’m the same way. That’s one of the reasons why we have this little problem.”

            Sam took a deep breath. She wasn’t sure how Fin would react to her bringing up his past
with Charlene, and she definitely didn’t want to rile him again, but she felt it was an important
issue they needed to discuss.

            “Do you think that maybe how you feel has something to do with Charlene?” She asked
the question without looking at him, but heard the tension in his reply.

            “What about her?” Sam looked up at him and his tone softened. “What does she have to
do with this?”

            “You told me that she used to say your lifestyle was fine with her, but then would always
want more. That she would use her own money to do and buy things she wanted, and made you
feel like you weren’t good enough because you couldn’t do it for her.”

            Fin sighed. This ols old stuff he’d buried long ago. He really didn’t want to dig it up
again, and he certainly didn’t want to have a discussion about it. “None of that has anything to do
with me now.”

            “No? Then you aren’t worried that I might be doing the same thing?”

            Fin laid his head back on the cushions. I don’t want to do this.

            “Fin.” He felt her move closer to him on the sofa. “That’s not how I see things.”

            He turned his head to look at her. “See what?”

            “This whole money issue. I don’t see having a lot of it as a right, or even as a necessity.
Yes, I do use it to have fun every once in a while, and I do enjoy spending it on people I care
about, but it’s not a driving force in my life.” She touched his arm. “And I certainly don’t think
less of people use use of it.”

            He covered her hand with his own. “I know.” He shrugged to downplay the moment. “I
guess I got a little jealous. You could buy it for him when I couldn’t.”

   &#        “Him? I bought it for you.”

            Fin stared at her, realizing his mistake. “I wanted to get it because of Dorian. It reminded
me of something he used to play with.” He was silent for a few seconds.

            “Maybe I was letting what happened with her get to me.” Fin avoided saying Charlene’s
name as much as he could. “She used to do that all the time.”

            “Do what?”

            “Get things he wanted when she knew I couldn’t afford to. Always made sure he knew it
was from her, too.”

            Sam was disgusted. “I hate that woman.”

            Fin laughed. “You don’t have to do that.” He leaned over and kissed her. “But thanks
anyway. And I know it’s a little late, but thanks for the figure, too. It was really nice of you.”

            “You’re welcome.” She studied him a bit. “I’m not her, Fin. I’m nothing like her. I’m
with you because of who you are, not what I think you could earn. If you try to remember that,
I’ll try not to be so impulsive. Deal?”

            Fin caressed her cheek. “Deal.”

            She smiled mischievously. “But if it makes you feel any better, I could skip over your
birthday and Christmas presents?”

            “That’s alright. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of the joy you’d get out of giving them to
me.”

            “You’re so thoughtful.”

            “I try.” They both laughed. Sam leaned in and kissed him.

            “I don’t like fighting with you. Let’s not do this very often, okay?”

            “Fine by me.”

            “You want to hang out here for a while?” She turned on the TV. “We could catch a
movie. I’m not sure what’s on this late, though.”

            “Friday nights? Usually porn.” Sam turned and looked at him. Fin half-laughed and
shrugged. “I just know stuff.”

  

            She shook her head and nestled next to him. “You know, I always wondered about those
guys. The ones in those movies.”

            “Wondered about what?”

            “Well, they’re always so . . . ” she cleared her throat. “You know, so well-endowed. I
used to wonder if they were real. If it was possible to be that big.”

            Fin tried to hide a small smile. It didn’t work.

            “What?”

            His smile turned into a short laugh. “Nothing.”

            “Yes, something. You think that’s pretty stupid, don’t you?”

            “Nah,” he laughed again. “Just trust me, though, it’s possible.”

            Sam’s eyes widened. “Do I even want to know how you know that?”

            “See, that ain’t funny.”

            “Well, then . . . ?”

            Fin looked down into his lap, clenching and unclenching his fingers. “Let’s just say I’ve
had some problems . . . with my own size.”

            “Problems? With your size?”

            Fin rolled his eyes and stared at her. “Some women find it a little uncomfortable.”

            Sam raised an eyebrow Munch-style. “REALLY!” She sat up attentively. Holding her
bottom lip between her teeth, she took a good, long look at his groin.

            “Can I see?”

            Fin backed up a little. “You’re crazy.”

      㼠160;    She laughed at him. “You think that’s the first time anyone’s ever said that to a Munch?
Come on, just a peek. It’s only fair.” She could see that he was at least thinking about it.

            “I could help,” she offered in her sexiest voice. “Or you could model for me. You in
nothing but that black leather jacket of yours.” The smile came back to Fin’s lips.

            “I could even take pictures.” It was gone again in an instant.

            “No.”

            “Why not?”

            “I heard about what happened to Munch when he let some girl take naked pictures of him.
I ain’t that dumb. No way.”

            “Please?”

            “No.” Sam had to laugh.

            “Look at you,” she teased, “being all firm and adamant. You’re cute when you put your
foot down.”

            “Then I’ll be gorgeous soon, ‘cause it ain’t gonna happen.”

            Sam climbed into his lap, straddling him. She began kissing his face and ears.

            “No.”

            She kissed his chin and ran her tongue over his throat. Fin took in a deep breath, but held
his ground.

            “No. Su miu might as well . . . ” She kissed him again and pressed her body against his.
Feeling the hardness beneath her, she reached down and stroked his erection through his clothing.
Fin groaned loudly.

            “This ain’t fair, Sam.”

            “I know,” she crooned. “Poor Fin.” She took hold of him and slowly ran her hand down
the length of it. Satisfied, she leaned forward and kissed his earlobe. “You weren’t kidding.”

            She climbed down from his lap and pulled him up with her, the pictures all but forgotten.
She turned to go, and Fin embraced her from behind. He buried his face in her hair and kissed her
shoulders.

            “We gonna do this?” he murmured, kissing her neck. “Hmm?”

            Sam leaned her head to the side to give him a better angle. “Yes?” Her voice was thick
with the thought of having him.

            “Yes.” Fin spun her around and kissed her hard. He nodded. “Yes.”

            The thought was overwhelming to her. She kissed him back and led him to her room
while undressing him. She tugged at the buttons on his shirt, removing it then his sweats. Fin
leaned into her as she fondled and stroked him with both hands, squeezing and pulling at him
while anticipating the feeling of him sliding into her.

            Fin’s breaths grew short and ragged. He grabbed her and pressed her to him, pumping
himself in her hands, before impatiently yanking off her own sweats. He pulled her shirt over her
head, and cupped as much of her breasts as his hands could hold. He etched his fingers over the
nipples, exciting them, then reached behind her and removed her bra. His tongue sought out a
nipple and rolled it before he took it fully into his mouth. Sam gasped and held his head to her as
his sucking sent currents through her.

            Fin lifted her onto the bed, and spreading her legs, ran his hand between them. He
groaned as he felt the wetness, then slid his fingers into her. Sam grabbed his hand and lifted her
hips to press herself against it. Fin let her rock her body against his fingers until he couldn’t stand
it any longer. He settled himself between her legs and began pushing into her.

            “Is this okay, baby?” he asked, concerned about his size and about hurting her. He took
her moans as a yes and entered her fully.

            Sam wrapped her legs arouim aim and raised her body to meet him. She burned from the
sensation of having him in her, and thrust her hips forward to meet his increasing pace, wanting
more and more of him. They moved together, lost in the pleasure of their bodies until Fin felt the
tension building in her.

            “That’s it, baby. Come for me.”

   㺼&60;       Her body complied, arching and lifting her from the bed. She cried out as each wave
washed over her and caught her up into the next. Fin slid his arms under and around her, and
gathering her to him, strengthened and quickened his thrusts. He felt her contractions all around
him, and further excited by her cries, began to shudder his way to his own climax. Sam felt him
throbbing inside her and sighed loudly as another wave of spasms overcame her.

            Fin kissed and held her until they passed. When they were able to breathe again, he lay on
his back and pulled her to him. Sam fought back tears she didn’t understand and trailed a finger
over his chest.

            “I guess that was okay.”

            Fin laughed softly. It had been nearly two years since he’d been with a woman, but he
knew he couldn’t have asked for more from her.

            Sam wrapped herself around his body, snuggling in as close as possible. This was more
than she’d ever had with anyone else, including her ex. She drifted and was nearly asleep when
Fin roused her. She pulled her head back to look at him through drowyes.yes.

            “Cinnamon.”

            “Hmm?” She tried to wake herself to better understand him.

        㺼&60;  “In the lasagne. It’s cinnamon.” Sam looked at him and knew she loved him. Smiling,
she kissed him, then returned her head to its former position.

            Fin felt her smile on his chest, and matched it with one of his own.