Lost

Chapter 22

Andre sent his latest visitor on his way and distractedly moved some papers from his desk to a folder to be filed. Fate was a completely spiteful bitch, he mused. Years of planning, preparation and training all gone after a few weeks of tests and vain hope. Now that he had everything he’d dreamed of for so long it was going to be snatched away from him in a manner he couldn’t fight. Neither his wealth nor his power could affect the outcome. Oh, he’d had an inkling of this possibility, a grand majority of his family having suffered from it, but had hoped he’d escaped it. He was proven wrong. Him...wrong. It had been inconceivable...until now. Now it remained only to salvage what he could while he had time. There was much to plan, but he couldn’t just yet. It was too new, too fresh. His mind skittered around his few remaining options but he couldn’t concentrate due to his subconscious refusal to accept what he’d been told. So he pushed it away and refused to think of it now. Instead he thought of his plans for the day.

It was early yet and Sarah was still upstairs dressing. Louis would bring her directly to him when she was ready, the standing order being that she remain in his company at all times that he was home unless directed otherwise. He turned on the screen to his computer and pulled up Duncan MacLeod’s files. Not his Watcher files...he had those nearly memorized, but his personal files. There were numerous pictures there, photos taken by his people as well as video. Pulling up the file of still photos, he ran through them seeing his obsession involved in various pursuits. Without thought he brought up one particular photo taken at Dawson’s bar.

Naturally the lighting was low, but the photographer had caught three men just as a light had apparently flashed from the stage so that all three were easily visible. The three men were laughing at some joke or story. He looked at the three expressions and made up his own story. Dawson, looking as though he had just slapped his hand down on the table, possibly making a conclusive point, his mouth open as though to say “Hah!” Pierson sat nearly opposite the photographer...dangerous position, that...but he had his eyes closed, right hand partially curled over his right eye as he laughed disbelievingly. But what caught his eye was MacLeod. He’d leaned back in his chair with a brilliant smile, looking truly happy. It was that smile that did something funny to him. He could feel a tingling in his belly that led directly to his groin. It was that smile.

He heard talking in the hallway and knew she would soon be there. He shut off the screen and waited for her. Her presence was intoxicating, he had to have her near him, either reading or listening to music. He wanted to be able to look at her, watch her whenever the mood took him. She was such a pleasure. And he wanted to tell her of his plans for the day. He was taking her out on a little trip...

The door to the library opened quietly and in walked his prize. Louis was with her, but she was easily dispatched to other tasks. He raised an imperious hand and watched as Sarah walked across the room and placed her hand in his. Standing he pulled her into his arms and bent his head for a kiss. Soft and warm, her lips were an infinite delight as was the moist heat of her mouth. He pulled back and eyed her clothing. “You look lovely, dear.” Her hair was pulled up into a simple but elegant chignon, little wisps of hair softening the style. A white blouse with a ruffled neckline and flowing black skirt added to the old-world romance of her outfit.

Duncan blushed lightly at the compliment, still uncomfortable with Andre’s appreciation of his appearance. “Thank you, Andre.” His voice was quiet and he kept his eyes down demurely.

“I’ve work to do. What are your plans? Are you reading anything new?” Andre led her by the hand to the couch but she didn’t sit.

Duncan saw the shaft of weak fall sun shining in through the tall window at one end of the library and hesitated. The patch of sunlight warming the golden hues of the hardwood floor seemed to call to him. He turned to the huge man beside him, looking up into those eyes that normally brought such terror to him. “Andre, please...may I meditate in that spot?” Duncan gestured to the floor.

“You want to sit on the floor?” Andre seemed outraged at the thought.

“Please...I don’t often get to meditate anymore. It’s not like the katas. I won’t be moving or disturbing you...please?” Duncan turned large brown eyes up not realizing how very sweet he looked as he asked.

Andre couldn’t believe how very delectable Sarah looked at that moment. If she’d only accept herself as she is, use her considerable charms, stop fighting me... He looked down and smiled indulgently at his little princess. “Very well, my dear, if that’s your wish.” Andre felt suddenly warmed by what had to be the first smile Sarah had ever bestowed upon him. It was shocking, to say the least, how very much a smile transformed that beautiful face into something radiant.

“Thank you, Andre.” Duncan smiled in pleasure, one of the rare smiles that up till then, only Louisa had ever seen. He moved to the patch of sunlight, toed off his shoes and gracefully sank down into a lotus position, an image of Methos sliding through his thoughts. Methos was one to prefer this classic meditating pose whereas he preferred his katas. In this instance, it made Methos seem closer, somehow. He adjusted his legs slightly and was so grateful that his skirt allowed the position, positive that Andre would have changed his mind if he saw the skirt hiking up his thighs in an unladylike manner. Nevertheless, he pulled the skirt down modestly ensuring he was covered. Straightening his spine and studiously ignoring Andre whom he was sure was watching him, he relaxed himself and automatically started to sink into his desperately missed meditation. His eyes were still partially open as he concentrated on the small dust motes dancing in the golden light as he let himself slip through the initial layers and down to a deeper level.

Andre was transfixed as he watched his pet settle in, easily sliding into a deep meditative trance. She was so beautiful, her face taking on a relaxed countenance. He stepped away to allow Sarah peace and returned to his desk. Unfortunately he found he was unable to concentrate, his eyes constantly sliding back to the figure sitting so quietly on the floor, deep even breaths barely noticeable in the golden light.

At least two hours passed without any change in Sarah’s position when Andre heard a deep sigh coming from her. He quietly moved over to kneel next to her, entranced as she worked up through the deep internal layers of her meditation. While Sarah brought herself up Andre looked at her, noting the reddish/gold highlights in her dark hair. He wondered what color hair her parents had, but then chided himself because there was no way for Sarah to even know, no immortal ever knowing their true parents. Without thought he reached out and touched a softly curled strand that lay near her cheek. He felt a mild surprise when he looked up and saw the chocolate eyes looking deeply into his own. He unknowingly held his breath at the intensity he found there.

Letting the strand slide through his fingers, he moved them to lightly graze across the silken cheekbone and down along her jaw. Lord, she’s beautiful...

Duncan watched him, felt the featherlike touch on his skin. Andre sat so closely to him he could feel the whisper of his breath across his face. It was no surprise as Andre leaned in slightly. Duncan closed his eyes, anticipating the kiss. Lips grazed gently at the side of his mouth, a kiss so tender his eyes opened in surprise. Andre’s eyes were still closed as he rubbed his mouth against Duncan’s and continued to press small kisses there. Andre’s head changed angle as he continued to rain the tiny kisses across Duncan’s lips, moving slightly to nibble across his cheek. Duncan’s eyes closed and he caught his breath lightly as Andre continued to nuzzle at his skin, Andre’s hand softly stroking down along his neck. God, he hated it when Andre was gentle.

Andre pulled back wanting to leave the hard floor despite the golden light. He came to his feet and put out his hands to help Sarah up. She rose gracefully, her movements flowing like liquid. Still not speaking he led her to the couch, seating her into the deep comfortable leather. Sitting himself next to Sarah he again reached in to caress the side of her face and bring her close, wanting those lips on his.

Duncan didn’t understand this tenderness being far too accustomed to brutality. Andre continued to kiss his neck, lovingly caressing the tender skin and delicate earlobes around the diamond earrings with his mouth and tongue. Andre’s fingers...they were gently stoking his skin and hair, not grabbing and groping him like before. Andre’s mouth found his again, his tongue gently licking across Duncan’s lips asking...asking? ...for entrance. Confusion and surprise answered for him as his lips parted to let Andre in. He didn’t understand this, but knew instinctively that he should reciprocate rather than submissively accept Andre’s touch, knew that was what Andre wanted now. Duncan’s tongue reached out to tentatively stroke across Andre’s and felt rather than heard a deep moan.

Andre’s arms came up and wrapped around Sarah’s shoulders, pulling her in tighter. He had started out wanting only a taste of the golden vision before him, but his hunger for Sarah’s sweet flesh was quickly overriding his earlier intentions. Almost without thought, one hand slid down along the waist and hips, across the glorious thighs to slide in between Sarah’s knees. He stopped there, wanting more but knowing that if he gave in to his needs it would take more time than he had and his little surprise for Sarah would be ruined. But oh, he wanted her so badly! He continued to kiss and nuzzle her, deeply pleased as she kissed him back, his hand gently rubbing the soft skin inside her knees.

The arms that tightened around him were no surprise, nor was the hand sliding in between his legs a surprise, but the fact that the hand stopped there, didn’t travel further up his skirt was a surprise. Duncan knew Andre wanted him and expected Andre to take him then and there. Instead he watched as Andre pulled back and sighed deeply.

Forcing himself to calm his raging lust, Andre pulled his hand from between Sarah’s knees. He wanted desperately to let his fingers wander up to the warm haven that was just a few inches away, but a man had to have some control...even if it was with monumental temptation. So he moved his hand up to Sarah’s waist and took another deep breath.

“You could tempt the gods themselves.” Andre looked at the dark eyes and swollen lips and smiled at his little pet. Yes, Sarah should enjoy this outing. “But I have other plans, my sweet. I know you’ve been very bored lately despite your attempts at teaching Louis how to ride...”

A very tiny smile curved Duncan’s lips as he looked down. Yes, the lessons were progressing, although slowly. Most amusing were Louisa’s comments regarding “the big stallion between her legs” despite how often Duncan told her she was riding a mare.

Andre was enchanted. He needed to make Sarah smile more often... Perhaps his little wife was finally accepting her role in life...possibly beginning to enjoy herself. He hoped so and again wondered at himself.

“Tell me, princess, how would you like to take a trip into Paris with me? There are some sculptures I’m interested in purchasing and I’d like your opinion.”

Duncan was amazed...he was going to be let off the grounds? Elation flooded through him at the thought of getting out for a bit...but then reality hit...he would go out looking like this? What if someone recognized him? But, oh the chance to get away for a bit! Even if it would be with his jailers for he knew he would be strongly guarded.

Andre watched the play of emotions across Sarah’s face, watched as first joy and then horror alternated across the expressive features. “No one will know who you are. It is merely an outing I thought you might enjoy. After all, my dear, there will be occasions where you will accompany me into the public...not often, but enough that I want you to become accustomed to it.”

Duncan looked down knowing he wasn’t really being given a choice and resigned himself to it. “Yes, Andre.”

The ride into Paris was quickly arranged and Duncan found himself sitting in the back of a long limousine which was followed by another car with guards. He had changed his clothes and now wore a two piece outfit in navy silk under a matching coat, gloves and sun glasses. The slim skirt ended two inches above his knees allowing Andre to fully explore the exposed flesh during the ride. Yes, Duncan was used to Andre’s fondling, the idle touches and constant petting. Duncan vaguely wondered if he would continue in public but then chided himself...of course he would. He’d want the world to know of his possession. Duncan pushed away the depressing thoughts and watched as the countryside turned to suburb and finally to city. The car came to a smooth stop outside of an art dealership with which Duncan was, of course, familiar. He tried to still the nervous fluttering in his stomach. The door was opened by the driver, the two guards already out and waiting. Andre stepped out first and turned, putting out a hand to help Duncan out. He hoped his hesitation wasn’t noticeable, but looked up into the smiling blue eyes of his husband and saw that it had been. Andre placed his hand under his elbow and escorted him into the building.

Once inside, Duncan could almost forget who he was as he looked around the various pieces on display, his enjoyment obvious in the pleasured smile on his face. Andre stepped away to speak with the dealer, a man that Duncan knew quite well so he kept himself apart as he inspected the objects d’ art. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Andre approach with the dealer. Damn him! Turning, he kept his face tilted down and his voice quiet as he was introduced. The dealer bent over his gloved hand in greeting. Duncan had spent weeks practicing at keeping his voice pitched higher than normal and speaking quietly in an effort to disguise his normally deep timbre. It had become such a part of him that he doubted he’d ever again be able to announce himself as ‘Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod’ in the voice that had commanded attention in the past.

The changes were apparently enough so that the dealer didn’t appear to recognize him at all. Either that or he was so enthralled with the thought of making a very lucrative sale he didn’t look much beyond Andre. Either way, Duncan breathed a sigh of relief as the dealer turned, his arm swinging wide to lead them to the pieces in which Andre was interested and wisely left them to themselves.

Andre kept his arm around Duncan’s waist as he leaned in intimately to speak quietly into Duncan’s ear. Duncan let him know the two pieces were fine sculptures and suggested a figure that would be fair but required bargaining. Decision made, Andre turned and sought out the dealer to continue his negotiations. As he stepped away Duncan felt a sickly tingling crawl down his spine, the signal that another immortal was near. He stiffened and turned, scanning the few people in the room. He saw a man also scanning the room and, as their eyes met and locked, the man turned and walked towards him.

Immediately on alert the guards moved to intercept him. The man’s eyes narrowed as he was stopped a few feet from Duncan. “I’d like to speak with the lady, if possible.” He spoke to Omar, the guard, as he eyed Duncan up and down. Turning to Duncan, he introduced himself.

“Matthew Reid, Madame. I believe we have something to discuss.” The inflection he placed on the word Madame implied he knew Duncan was male. The disgust on his face made it obvious.

Duncan was unarmed...a fact that was looming largely in his thoughts. Not to mention that there was no way Andre would let him fight...even if he thought he could.

“I’m sorry, but we have nothing to discuss. Let it be.” Duncan still kept his voice quiet, not wanting to draw any more attention than they already were. The man took one more step forward, obviously angry that his challenge was not going to be met.

Duncan’s hands clenched around his pocketbook, desperately wishing he had his sword. Henri, another one of the shadows, stepped in between him and Reid while Omar stepped forward to stand next to Reid. Their intent to protect him was obvious.

Reid’s face twisted in a sneer. “You coward! Hiding behind a woman’s skirts and mortal men...!”

He’s right! Shame brought a deep color flooding up Duncan’s neck and into his face and his eyes dropped to the floor. Just then Andre stepped up, understanding of the situation obvious in his eyes.

“Darling, our business here is done. Why don’t we all step outside?”

Duncan flinched slightly at the endearment. Nothing like rubbing salt into a wound. Andre again took his arm and turned to walk out. Omar and Henri escorted Mr. Reid along behind them. “Andre...” Duncan began as they approached the car but was hushed by Andre. His flush deepened.

“Mr...?” Andre began. ‘Reid’ was supplied by one of the guards.

“Mr. Reid...my wife does not play in your Game. I would strongly recommend that you find someone else to indulge you.” Reid’s contemptuous look raked across Duncan.

Ignoring the huge man, he turned to Duncan. “Not only do you hide as a woman, you let mortals dictate your actions in the Game?” Reid’s scorn was like acid on Duncan’s skin. “It’s just as well...I wouldn’t want your spineless quickening in me!” Duncan flinched as though he’d been spat upon.

“That’s enough, Mr. Reid. Understand this...if you come near us again I’ll see you shot and your head taken without another immortal present so that your quickening is lost to the air around you. Go elsewhere to satisfy your needs. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, yes...” Again turning to the pale form standing next to the big man he couldn’t resist a last comment. “Hiding won’t ensure you’re the last, you coward. If I see you again, you’re dead.” With that he turned and strode away, never seeing Duncan lean over to vomit into the gutter.

Andre held Sarah’s arm while she was sick, gently stroking her back. When she straightened Andre helped her into the car. He spoke a few words to one of the guards and then stepped in, watching as Sarah curled into a ball of misery in the corner of the seat. Looking at the driver he gave one order. “Drive.”

Duncan was unaware of the passing scenes as he huddled, lost to his own shame and misery. Oh, how he hated Andre and what he’d done...and he hated himself. He was a coward...a worthless catamite...a whore.

Andre watched as Duncan no doubt berated himself over the incident. He knew of his shame over his current status. That had been his intent. So why did it bother him to see him huddled in such pain? His goal had always been to take away the warrior and this was the ultimate proof that he’d succeeded. So why did this victory seem so hollow?

After awhile Andre saw that Sarah was calming down. He called to the driver to take them to a restaurant where he’d planned on having lunch. Andre heard her deep sigh. Could it be? Had she finally resigned herself to her role? He couldn’t decipher the enigmatic look. He decided to leave Sarah alone for a bit longer since she’d begun repairing her make-up, a sign that she was aware of their destination.

It had taken awhile, but Duncan did succeed in calming himself. It was pointless, really. It wasn’t as though he had any power over his actions. He couldn’t have fought Reid since he was unarmed. But he hated the fact that he had to be protected from another immortal, hated that Reid saw what he was, hated that he felt humiliation. But who was Reid in the long run? Did it matter that he saw Duncan in a dress? What if this had really been a lifestyle choice? Duncan laughed at himself. Even if he’d chosen to live his life as a woman, it wouldn’t have affected his ability to fight, to play in the Game. No, what he hated was that he was incapable of being other than whom and what he was now. Others would have to do his fighting for him because whatever it was that had made him a warrior was gone. It was no longer in him. He glanced at Andre under his lashes. And what would become of him once Andre was dead? Would Methos protect him? Connor? No. Once Andre was dead and the threat no longer existed to his friends he would find someone to help him...but not Methos or Connor. He couldn’t do that to them. But he would find someone, once everyone else was alright. He took a deep breath as a weight suddenly seemed to lift. Yes, it would be best. He could never be the man he once was. Duncan heard their destination, a restaurant he was familiar with. The restaurant was discreet and had private rooms in the back. He was positive Andre had arranged for one. He pulled out his pocketbook and tried to repair his make-up. This is who he was for the rest of Andre’s lifetime. He’d continue to do what was needed and then he could let go. Yes.