Sessions

"That tickles..." He giggled.

"One more thing I know about you," Sara murmured.

"That I'm ticklish?" He asked coyly.

"Mhm."

"What about you Sara?" He asked. "What else do I need to know about you?"

Where do I begin? I've got so much to say......

"I think we should get to know each other better."

"You want to have this discussion now? It's " Sara turned her head. "It's two thirty in the morning, Grissom."

"Why not? I'm too wound up to sleep..."

Sara bit back a smart comment. Probably the easiest would be to ask him what he wants to know. "What do you want to know?"

"Tell me about you..." He touched her face. "Things you don't share with everyone."

Shoulda seen that one coming, Sidle.

"What are you fears...your hopes...wishes. I don't care, anything."

"Well, I ....." Sara was suddenly paralysed as everything came rushing forward. Then she bit her lip. He's not ready to hear that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. Just stick to your life in general...But it's so HARD!!!!

"Sara.."

"I have no idea where to start."

"Just be honest with me...please." He pleaded. "I won't judge, I promise."

"Did I ever tell you about my brother?"

"You have a brother?"

"An older one, yeah."

"What about him?"

"We used to be really close. But now.....I don't know what happened."

"At least you have a sibling." He groaned out trying to comfort her with his words

“You were an only child?"

"Yes. Mom went deaf, dad left. Mom never remarried. Don't know about dad. I haven't seen him in over forty years." He thought for a minute "I guess I could probably have siblings."

"I could too if you count all the foster homes I went to."

"Foster homes?"

“Yeah."

"Why were you there?"

"Alcoholic mother."

"My father was an alcoholic, what about your dad?”

"Never saw him much."

"Welcome to the club." He tried to laugh.

“Well, it was mostly me and Alex," Sara continued.

"Is that your brother?"

"Yeah."

"So what happened to your relationship with him?"

“After he went to the army and I went to Harvard, we just kinda drifted apart. I don't know maybe he resented my relationship with Mara."

"Who is Mara?" Grissom was slightly confused

Sara stretched out a cramp in her thigh. "She was the housekeeper at our last home. She put in a petition to be my legal guardian when I was twelve."

"Why would he resent your relationship? I'm not sure I'm following."

"We uh...developed a mother-daughter relationship.” I'm not a psychiatrist. I don't understand the male psyche. She shrugged. "That sometimes happens with people though. You develop different interests."

"So what about your mom? Where was she during all of this?

I really don't want to talk about my mother....: "She uh...she was facing trial for child abuse and neglect."

"Oh." He didn't know what to say. He figured he had hit a sore spot.

Sara smiled a little. "It's okay."

"So your brother joined the Army?" HE was trying to change the subject. "What does he do now?"

"He’s a consultant for an engineering firm in Boston."

“Still with the Military?"

"Nope."

“So what was Sara Sidle like as a kid?" He pictured overalls and pigtails.

"A shy awkward kid with big braces and long curly hair."

"You wore braces? I bet you were cute." He pictured a brace faced Sara smiling at him. He traced her lips with his finger.

"Didn't feel cute."

"I would've found you cute." He smiled.

Careful....stepping into the whole emotions thing again....he's not ready for that. "Really?"

"Yes. No one found me attractive either. No one even wanted to play with me."

Poor baby... Sara thought rather than said.

"Imagine...no one wanted to play with the little boy with big glasses who played with bugs and dead animals."

"Nobody wanted to do that with me either, except for Mara."

"At least you had her. My mom didn't want to play." Sara leaned her head against Grissom's chest, falling silent. "I'm solitary mainly because of this. I didn't take well to people. Still don't really."

She began thinking about the last conversation she had with Mara shortly after receiving her DUI charge. She had called Mara sobbing in the middle of the night, like she had countless nights before and poured her heart out about Grissom. Sara was still lost in thought about how much her life had changed in the last few weeks. Her eyes closed. I have to keep him....

"I'm lucky I found you." He kissed her hair.

Me too... "I'm not going anywhere," Sara promised with a sleepy smile.

If I lose you I will lose myself. "What else do you want to know?" He asked coyly.

"If we can still grab a few hours of sleep before morning."

"Ummm." He nuzzled into her. "Sounds good."

Sara's eyes filled up with fresh tears as she slowly disentangled herself from Grissom's warm body and laid beside him with her back to him. He wanted to touch her but he didn't want to push.

"Night, Griss."

"Sleep well, Sara."