One Night Changes Everything

He stares at the desk in front of him with his hands clasping each other - flexing them against the other every now and then.

On the desk in front of him was a binder……one that held the horrid tale of what happened to her.

Over the years he had opened the binder over a million times. Every moment not spent working on a current case…he sat in the chair next to the desk, and looked at pictures that haunted him when no one was around. Like this very moment.

Slowly he makes his way over to the desk, but does not sit down. His hand comes up and touches the binder. He doesn’t want to look at the photos. He doesn’t want to remember why he feels dead inside.

Monk doesn’t know why the image of Natalie’s face flashes through his mind now. Doesn’t know why for the first time in so long……he feels like he’s living again.

As he stares at the binder he knows that no matter how long it takes him he will find the man that ordered the death of his wife. He knows that nothing could ever stop him from finding out why…and who.

Lifting his hand up, he turns and stares at the sofa. He remembers the way he would lie down with his head in Trudy’s lap, remembers her beautiful face as she stroked his.

Suddenly he wasn’t seeing Trudy and himself…but…but…

He had pushed the images out of his mind. He had tried to forget everything about that night. But unbiddenly the memory played before his very eyes.

He watched as his hands caressed the planes of her body, watched the way her hands had guided his, watched as he had lost himself with her.

He remembered thinking how beautiful she was, how no matter how long he had tried to deny himself that she was a woman……that night she had forever stamped the connection into his mind.

He looked away. Ashamed of himself for not stopping her……because he had not wanted to stop.

Rubbing his temple with one hand he realized he shouldn’t be thinking about it. It never happened after all. Yet he remembered every single detail about it. Remembered how he had been terrified of the kiss, remembered how she had almost forced her tongue into his mouth, remembered how…

He had to stop. It was wrong to think of her like that. Wrong to love his wife and …and what?

He couldn’t complete his thought. Acknowledging his feelings was not something he did easily. But the fact that he wasn’t acknowledging them……made it obvious that indeed…there were feelings.

Walking out of the room and down the hall to his bedroom, he then starred into the room without going in. For a moment…just a moment he saw her lying in bed. Trudy’s eyes staring at him with such love…

The phone ringing out in the silence of the apartment startled him out of his memory. Jerking himself into motion he made his way to the phone.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Natalie was a little confused at the moment. Never would she have imagined any man coming to her door for a date……and bringing the date to her…literally.

John had brought over some Spanish cuisine in pans and skillets. Natalie found herself tense at the mess that John was quickly making of her kitchen.

Monk was usually cleaning her kitchen constantly. Putting groceries in their ‘proper’ place. Everything was placed in plastic containers, organized in a way that only Monk himself could. At the moment John had several containers open on the counter, and dishes and utensils filled the sink. Natalie leaned against the doorway from the dining room to the kitchen watching from a distance as John cooked.

Natalie shook her head. God!! He's rubbing off on me!! The urge to clean strong.

Julie had been a little shocked but was quickly brought out of it by her mother instructing her to set up the dining room table.

Julie watched as John began cooking in the kitchen as her mother talked with him. Her cell phone vibrating in her pocket made her jump, then quickly she pulled it out.

Looking at the caller I.D. her face showed confusion. Flipping open the phone she answered.

“Hello.”

Monk held his phone away from his face with a wipe as he listened on the line. Upon hearing Julie’s voice he spoke.

“Julie! This is Adrian…Adrian Monk…”

Julie couldn’t keep the smile from her face as he said this. “Yeah Mr. Monk…I know who this is. Caller I.D.”

Natalie’s head swiveled from John to Julie as she heard Adrian’s name. John continued to talk to her while cooking – oblivious that Natalie was no longer listening to him.

Not that they had been discussing anything that was truly notable, but since Julie was there both had refrained from speaking of the events of the previous night.

Natalie was a bit shocked that Monk was calling Julie. It wasn’t like him to call Julie at all. Monk usually just called her on her cell phone.

Adrian made a ‘oh’ noise and continued talking.

“Ahh….listen. The captain just called me and asked if I could come down to the station. They found some new evidence and thought that I should take a look at it.”

Julie’s face contorted into vast confusion.

“So…why are you calling me Mr. Monk?! Shouldn’t you have called Mom?!” Julie asked.

Monk hesitated, his mouth opening but nothing coming out, finally he got the words out.

“I…I know your mother……is out on a date with John and……(again his mouth opening with nothing coming out)…and I called her, but she didn't pick up her cell phone.”

Julie’s eyes found her mother’s. Her mother’s eyes questioned her, but Julie knew that lying about where her mother was would only result in punishment from her mother. On the other hand though……Mr. Monk sounded sad…almost like he thought her mother didn't want him to call her.

“Ah…sure Mr. Monk! But…Mom’s still here! Mr. Night brought dinner over…” Julie explained as she walked away from her mother, whose eyes had opened wide at what Julie was telling Monk.

Monk paused at the information.

That's why she didn't pick up the phone! Wait! She actually let him in the house?? Is she insane?!

“Is everything ok?!” Monk asked, truly concerned.

Julie was currently trying to keep her mother away from the phone, as she appeared to freak out at the idea that she was talking to Mr. Monk.

“Yeah.” Julie said as she continued to evade her mother’s hands, as Natalie tried to reach for the phone. It confused Julie. But she realized that Mr. Monk had called her for a reason.

“So there still on a date…” Monk continued, not really asking the question but testing the words out loud. He realized he really didn't like the sound of the words. Especially when referring to Natalie.

"Yeah, at least if mom would stop trying to pry the phone from my hands!! MOM! It's MY cellPHONE!!" Julie exclaimed. Monk could hear the struggle for the acquisition of the phone, but briefly wondered why Natalie was trying to get to the phone.

"Mr. Monk!!" Natalie exclaimed as she finally managed to get Julie's cell phone out of Julie's possession. "Is everything ok?? Did something happen??" Natalie asked with a large amount of concern in her voice that all around her could hear.

"I'm...I'm fine Natalie! I just..."

Suddenly Monk heard a struggle.

"Mr. Monk! I can drive you to the police station!!" Julie said with erratic breathing.

Natalie stared at her daughter with a stern look, but Julie just gave her a radiant smile and stepped away from her mother going upstairs to grab her keys. In reality she knew that she couldn't just leave John cooking while she went down to the station with Monk. Whether she wanted to or not...she needed to talk to John about what happened last night.

Suddenly she realized that John was staring at her from the kitchen at her with a towel on his shoulder. He was looking at her with this odd smirk on his face.

Natalie had the good graces of looking embarrassed. The opposite was true. At the moment she wanted to escape this very awkward place that she had somehow gotten herself into.

"It's good to know that you actually care about him. I guess because your a mother it comes out naturally." John said.

Natalie didn't know how to take the statement. Was it supposed to be a compliment or an insult on Monk's behalf? Either way there was no real response that she could give, so she just gave him a smirk of her own.

John's smirk grew into a smile. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out by bringing dinner to you...it's just...the last time you ran away...and I figured that if you were already home you could just kick me out if you don't want me around."

Natalie blushed at the words yet felt an endearment towards John for saying them. This man was truly an anomaly.

“John…” Natalie let out a sigh after she said his name. But John didn’t let her get another word out.

“Listen Natalie…” He said as he walked up to her and held her chin with two fingers as he locked his eyes with hers, “I know that what happened last night was (smirking)…well I know it wasn’t really meant for me…but (smirk becoming a straight line) but I would like nothing more for it to be for me.”

Natalie couldn’t look away from his eyes. They reminded her so much of…

“I know that your just with Monk comes before everything right now…but…but I really do want to get to know you better. We can start off really slow, I’ll give you whatever space you need and…(smirking again) I can be here for you whenever you need me.”

Natalie felt warmth as the words processed through her mind.

“I know right now you’re really stressed out with Monk, but I could be a stress reliever. (smiling) In any way you want!” John joked.

Natalie laughed despite herself and slapped John’s chest, but John caught it and pulled her into the kitchen once more. Holding it he looked into her eyes. Seriousness in his face spread suddenly.

“Whad’ya say Natalie? Will you give this a shot?”

Natalie stared at the man before her for a long time, trying to rationalize why dating him was a very bad idea. Thinking about Monk…about where he was in his life, about if he could ever really see her as just Natalie and not someone that looked like his wife, or someone that was his worker……Monk just wasn’t capable of loving her right now.

Maybe not ever! The thought came upon her sadly.

Staring into John’s eyes as he waited for a reply, Natalie realized that John may not be the man that she was in love with……but he might be the man that would be in love with her.

Being alone was hard. Feeling like the life you led was slipping through your fingers without really living was terrorizing. Making her decision, she nodded her head; her heart feeling like it was being divided in two.

Adrian Monk was the man she was in love with, but John Night was the man kissing her. Kissing John the way……she would have kissed Adrian Monk.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Julie had grabbed her keys and was making her way down stairs when she heard John talking to her mother. Quietly she stopped and stayed out of sight, but peered down so she could watch them.

When John had pulled her into the kitchen, Julie snuck her way down and peered around the corner. Julie stared as her mother kissed John with …with…she stopped her own thought. Suddenly Julie felt betrayed. Feeling as though her mother had betrayed her and…

Julie quietly left the house, but the image of her mother kissing John…the way she had used to kiss Julie’s father…made her feel pain…like she never thought she could.

Monk had been waiting outside for her, and when she pulled up, knew automatically that Julie was upset. Julie got wrinkles in her eyes when she was thinking about upsetting things – Just like her mother.

Monk said nothing as he quickly entered Julie’s older car. The car was much cleaner from the last time he was in it. His eyes drifted over to Julie as she continued to stare ahead, not even acknowledging that he was even in the car.

Monk said nothing as he placed his seat belt on, making sure that the belt was on correctly, tight but not soo tight. Adjusting the shoulder strap just so it lay exactly forty five degrees across his chest.

It was while he was doing this that Julie finally spoke.

“She was kissing him.”

The words were enough to make Monk let go of the belt and stare at Julie as she stared back at him with hurt eyes.

Monk’s jealousy jumped up severely at the words. Anger slowly seeping it’s way back into his body. Betrayal and anger mixed together, leaving him in a stupor.

Monk turned and looked out his window. Julie continued.

“She was kissing him the way……the way she would kiss dad!!” Julie said as she tried to control her emotions. But the hurt she felt was more than she could bare at the moment. Julie had loved her father, missed him everyday. The idea of her mother kissing John like that……a man that she had been on one date on……it extremely upset her.

“Maybe….maybe she’s just lonely.” Monk said as he looked out the window. At the moment he couldn’t look into Julie’s eyes. They reminded him too much of Natalie’s.

Julie suddenly exploded.

“Why would she be lonely!! She has me and you!!”

Monk did turn to look at Julie as her words hit something close to his feelings.

But Monk knew the real reason why……and in all honesty…he didn’t blame her.

“Maybe……maybe you and John can make her feel like she’s not alone.”

It was no admittance to anything. In no way were the words suppose to give Julie any indication into what he truly felt……but it did.

Julie stared into Monk’s eyes for what seemed like a few minutes, when it was really a few seconds.

In that moment….she realized that Mr. Monk didn’t feel like he belonged with them…that he didn’t make her mother feel happy. But it wasn’t true. Adrian Monk had become more than just a friend. Especially to her.

Julie swallowed the lump in her throat…as she realized how she looked at the man before her. Somewhere along the way…from childhood to now……he had become the man she had wanted to call dad.

How could she say that?! How could she feel that way about Monk when the thought of John kissing her mother in the way her real father had kissed her mother……the thought had made her want to scream. But Monk, Mr. Monk……the idea of him kissing her mother…the idea that he might want to be her father……it made her feel…

Monk finally looked away from Julie and again turned to look out the window.

What was she suppose to say now?! What could she do?

Julie sat there with one question in her mind.

How do you tell a friend - Mr. Monk of all people - that he’s the only father…that you could ever want?